MALICE KEEPING SPOUSE
Please Bvs how do I handle a man that keeps malice with his wife? Anytime me and hubby have a misunderstanding he won’t talk to me for days/weeks. I always initiate settlement.
He traveled for work for 2 weeks and I called and messaged him on WhatsApp, he did not reply. Maybe I will let him be, I’m pregnant and close to my due date, I don’t want anything to disturb me.
*No need to stress yourself, you need to be in good health and a positive and sound state of mind as you await/welcome your baby...Abeg him please, if he doesnt talk to you, IGNORE HIM and dont bother to initiate settlement this time...Transfer all the love you feel for him to your child and face front and you will be fine..Do not tolerate this behaviour anymore..... E bone you, you bone am!!
I totally agree with Stella, you need to have a strong mind if you're married to a man that enjoys keeping malice.
ReplyDeleteVery cold person!
DeletePlease have a backup plan o because this one don't mind ignoring u when you are in labour or sick at night just because of malice!
Single ladies or gents pls normalize kindness as the top priority in choosing a partner please.....
Kai! The world is getting cold and brutal by the day!
Very cold person!
DeletePlease have a backup plan o because this one don't mind ignoring u when you are in labour or sick at night just because of malice!
Single ladies or gents pls normalize kindness as the top priority in choosing a partner please.....
Kai! The world is getting cold and brutal by the day!
Emotionally immature men are total rubbish
DeleteLadies RUN from such spiteful, hateful , petty and vindictive creatures pretending to be men
Emotionally immature men are total rubbish
DeleteLadies RUN from such spiteful, hateful , petty and vindictive creatures pretending to be men
Madam you are emotionally alone oo
DeleteNo be husband be that
He has been two weeks away.
DeleteFirst, come back to tell us if you are sure by verifiable evidence that he is alive.
Abi you just assume.
And the shorter the chronicle, the more is left unsaid that may undo the validation we seek of our action and further planned actions or the condemnation of the person subject of the chronicle.
They didn’t quarrel before they got married or she overlooked it like most desperate women looking to get married at all cost? I hate all these chronicles that should’ve been avoided. I’m pretty sure you saw all these before yall got married so what do you want us to do for you now that you’ve signed lifetime contract?
DeleteThis man doesn't like you. I didn't go 1 day without talking to my boo.
DeleteContinue ignoring him. And If you are up to it, when baby comes don’t even bother informing him. Let outsiders that call to congratulate him be the one to give him the news. Foolish and wicked husband
ReplyDeleteShey you will support and provide for the baby's upkeep!
DeleteLol and good question @18:30
Delete15:15 that's the way to go. If there is no money , she should borrow from friends and family. Let the husband hear from outsiders that he cannot provide for the family
DeleteCan you imagine the kind of mentality women have .. people like this slim shady. Tufia
DeletePlease, focus on you health and your baby. You always initiate settlement, so he is used to it. If he decides to carry face, ALLOW him.
ReplyDeleteChildish husband
ReplyDeleteYou have already spoilt him with you initiating settlement whenever you both have any misunderstanding, is better for a man yo be the one to always seek for peace in a home than the woman. You need to address this issue before you both bring in innocent children and teach them terrible attitude.
ReplyDeleteYou should have a heart to heart discussion with your husband about this attitude, you mean you didn't see this as a red flag before you said yes to him? Sort things out with your husband you should know his mumu button, remember that you both must have arguments from time to time and how you both resolve it now will give you both a peaceful home. Safe delivery and please do not stress yourself over a man.
God abeg
ReplyDeleteMay I not end up with someone like this.
Malice? Haaaa
Madam, it is well with you.
Sorry
Me too, Amen to your prayer
DeleteMy dear you married an immature man. A man who knows you are close to your due date and ignores you. Hmmm. On the other hand watch what you say when you quarrel. 2 weeks malice. Send him a message “ thinking about you, can’t stop smiling”. My dear you have to be the bigger person and woo your husband. Men these days act like women. Lol
ReplyDeleteFor how long pls?
DeleteFor how long?
DeleteThere's nothing like "being the bigger person" poster End that stupid Cycle before it consumes you. iGNORE!!! That is the only way he will know he is foolish! Imagine how stupidly your so called head of the home is behaving
DeleteOh my God. See advice. My dia , you have not met a narcissist. There are person's you don't just need to be a bigger person for. No way, being a bigger person will worsen it. When you become a bigger person and the next time you don't do it, they will increase from two weeks malice to 5weeks
DeleteI don't agree with this advise of fire for fire, and love transfer between father and child, two wrongs don't make a right, don't start sowing bad seed that will grow into a tree of confusions in your marriage. You're pregnant you need his attention try and get it, if you call, text he didn't answer continue till you get his response when both of you are together in lighter moods keep reminding him that one thing he can do for you to make you happy is to stop the idea of keeping malice at home, see children have started coming they meet you too with that behavior they copy it. Make him see reason that's what marriage is all about its a home and not a boxing ring to throw blow for blow
ReplyDeleteThis is mentally draining for an expectant mom. Continue calling until he blocks her? It's like you dunno this breed of malice keeping men.
DeleteSome of you are really suffering as Married Women! A man keeping malice like a child? Tufiakwa. Later you see these men child arguing about superiority gender bla bla. A stupid man is misbehaving towards his pregnant wife that is btw life and death, instead of praying for his family and doing every good deed for his family in this crucial time. Nna eeh, so many men don't understand marriage and maturity.
DeleteAnon 15.37 has wisdom desirable of a wife! I pity some of you wives on this platform. You show/exhibit regular disrespect and annoying behaviour to your husband. He is tired of correcting or making you to behave right. Then you expect him to tolerate and correct you eternally? He will just ignore you, since that is better than laying his hands on you - and you term it "keeping malice for days and weeks"? You women should do some self-retrospection and self assessment of your character and behaviour. Most husbands are just tolerating their wives cos of the children and the society - I am referring to the responsible husbands and fathers who toil and provide for the home; and don't indulge in vices like extramarital affairs and drunkenness. Most Nigerian wives take their husbands for granted and show so much disrespect/non-submission because you know and believe that you are the "wife" of 10-20yrs and he dare not divorce you or take a 2nd wife. But most of you are wrong - why do you hear of divorce cases of 20/30yr old marriages? The husbands allow the kids to grow old and decide to spend the rest of their lives alone or get married to a childhood girlfriend who is now a widow or divorcee. The husbands don't care at this stage of their lives - they are retired, have good money and just want to have some peace till death comes - the "new wives" are older/matured, calm and have wisdom (may be from being previously married to an irresponsible man and knows the difference in the new husband). More divorce cases of older couples are brewing in Nigeria - watch out!
Delete15:37 you think she will have peace of mind by doing all this you wrote here? Have you ever been in such situation and you applied this method and it worked? Like you had peace of mind all the while that you kept trying to make someone love but the person kept on ignoring you?
Delete19:21 you don't know the difference between ignoring and keeping malice. Read the Chronicle again with an open mind and you get to know the difference. She always tries every possible means to makeup with the man but he still wouldn't be open to reconcilation
DeleteOk, let me helep you. This poster said she sends text messages and reads but doesn't respond etc
I would have written down what ignoring someone is: but time fails me These are simple English and the chronicle is self explanatory , if I can understand the difference then you can. I don't know why you don't get it
Anon 19:21 hmmmm
Delete@19:21, it doesn't matter whether this was written by a male or female.
DeleteIt just baffles me the way people talk down on women. And no I'm not excusing the behavior sometimes. The same way the man puts up with a woman is the same way a woman puts up with the man. The way some of you talk on this page is like the man the man is always perfect doesn't make errors. Because he is the man and head of the house??? Pls let's stop this. The woman is not less than a man. The same way the man tolerates the woman is the same way she does, even more. She is pregnant at that.
@anon 19:21, and vice versa...respect should be a two way thing...and submission too..don't get it twisted!
Delete@21:59
DeleteSame way most female blog visitors talk down on males. That was the first or second thing a new blog visitor will notice. It is okay anyway because women are always smarter than the men the choose to date or marry so they assume all men are beneath them.
All these mumu men, to think my brother advised my husband to do this and he has been doing it...he comes back around as he see say e no work lol ode people...both of them lol
ReplyDeleteBe proud and arrogant of your nasty behaviour- it is just a matter of time. Except your husband lives off you or cannot take care of his bills without your input of resources, then he will be stuck to you for just a shortwhile more. I pity most Nigerian men, especially the Christian husbands - they are suffering a lot. Most would rather be Muslims and marry more than one wife, to reset you people's stubborn heads.
Delete😂 You think marry multiple wives resets women's stubborn heads. You are only buying wahala for yourself and family gannnn! Na you sabi, goan marry a hundred because you can't manage one. See you ranting on most comments. Nigerian wives this, Nigerian wives that. It just goes to show that you don't understand women generally and not willing to learn. If you can calm down, humble yourself and learn more about women you won't compare yourself to them as a man. You will instead understand women better and be better able to manage the one wey you get. I guess things are not rosy with you, that's why instead of responding to the poster, you are projecting by lambasting the poster and other female bvs. Biko we are not the cause of your problems. Just calm down and face your issues like the man you are and all will be well. No be by ego, dear kings things. Who buga epp?
DeleteDamn 19:25, you’re projecting your wife’s behavior on us. This is not fair naw. Who says these men don’t act up? You never see men behaving childish?? Both men and women get their own abeg. It takes hard work and Gods grace to make a marriage work!
Delete15:43, the way you said mumu man makes me suspect that you don't respect your husband. And why should someone related to you be siding your husband if you are truly a good person?
DeletePlease people should stop mistaking a good woman whose husband takes for granted for a rude and troublesome wife.
Please follow Stella's advice, just ignore him and focus on the D day, he will come around
ReplyDeleteThis is one toxic trait i learnt from my parents that i am soo glad i did, infact it has become a survival tactic in today’s world. So many ppl are childish, small quarrel like this, they would carry face for u and stop tlkin to u for 600 yrs.
ReplyDeleteWo, for me, wen u decide to drop it, that is wen i reinforce mine, that thing you started, we must sha finish it.
Op, mirror his character bck to him, some ppl only stop misbehaving when you do the exact thing to them, so they know how bad it hurts.
So you didn't see this aspect of him when you were dating him? This is the kind of boyfriend that at any little misunderstanding will not not talk to you and you have to beg him. Now you see that he has even gotten worse in marriage. He didn't even consider your condition. Who doesn't keep in touch with his pregnant wife except a very wicked and childish man? Carry your cross,poster
ReplyDeleteSome will pretend during the dating stage until they marry you. Especially those relationship that didn't stand the test of time before marriage. So you won't get to notice the malicious attitudes in them.
DeleteYou better borrow yourself wisdom ànd dont listen to most of these advice ,when he send you out they will still be the first to blame you ,you better prày for grace to be a bigger person,let him continue his babyisb
ReplyDeleteWhy should she ignore our advice? Bigger nonsense! African stupid advices to women! If they throw her out, she should go na than suffering in a stupid marriage.poster if you don't end this stupid attitude of your baby husband now, sorry for you- mark it! Ndi marriage is everything
DeleteThrowing out and silently dieing in marriage which would you prefer for your daughters @goke
DeleteThe kind of men they produce nowadays eehn, very petty people, a grown man behaving like tata, Tueh
ReplyDeletePetty as fu*k! So weak in trying to assert wetin dem no get by force. Low key behaving like women that want to be wooed. So sad. Where are the real manly men? The ones who know what it means to have and nurture a family? The ones who know what it means to be a husband and father? Who can pilot their family both spiritually and physically. Most of them today don't even want the responsibilities of being the head, but they want the honour or respect that goes with it. How dat one wan take work?
Delete19:29
DeleteAlways the same here.
You guys say men you call "badly behaved" are behaving like women.
So, women are naturally badly behaved?
Anyway, experience shows women are the best judge of women.
Dear Kings (oops) all yea Males, hope you are reading and learning more why some of the women you know are ...
Those manly men are no more because women have killed them with their bad attitude such as this your mindset. Everybody is a human being with blood in their veins.
DeleteY'all men, dear kings on here don't wanna hear the truth. Women didn't kill you anything. Your laziness did. Stop twisting my words to suit your poor stance. I never said women are badly behaved. That is what you guys always say and project. I said you want to be treated like women, instead of the men that you are. That can't happen and you expect a good result. None of you cared about a pregnant woman about to give birth being abandoned by her husband in her time of need. But y'all are ranting about Nigerian women and women on the blog. That is plain wickedness. So if you had the opportunity to advise such a man, you would encourage his excesses to get back at his wife? Not one of you said anything wrong about such twisted behaviour. Which means you can also do such? Y'all are the ones with a very sick mindset. Your type can NEVER be objective as long as a female is involved. Too bad for you. Na una sabi the kind blood wey dey run for una veins. Heartless, that is what you are.
DeleteMost Chronicles from men and from women are one sided stories. It is Hard to judge who is at fault because we do not know the causes of your marital disagreements and your individual characters. The man or woman who apologises first may be the frequent starter of the aggro. Sometimes the aggro is one repeated over a matter that the other spouse has fully clarified and taken a mutually beneficial stand within her/his capacity.
ReplyDeleteContrary to popular belief, most marriages are carried by one of the spouses who may be the wife or the husband. "My husband/wife sweet", "My husband/wife sweet" as chanted by some of us is most times because we are the persons gaining all in the marriage, while our spouses are being drained keeping the marriage.
Do not worry yourself about him once you have apologised, and you are not repeating the same things that starts the fire. Focus on your pregnancy. When you deliver safely if he is not back, get messages sent to him.
You sent a chronicle because you want to be in the marriage on; otherwise, the other option is open to you. And maybe that is what he wants - you to take the other option. Instead of "returning the same energy to him" would it not be better to leave the marriage?
Apologise and move on without malice. Relate with him as if the matter is closed. With time he would change or your would not even notice it.
Or Return "malice" for slient or malice.
Return fire for fire, or choose peace.
In the end, you are the person in the marriage without us BVs. The choice is yours.
Don't fart, Don't fart the man wearing heavy fully covered masquerade cloths is always told. But it is not because the gods would be angry. It is because He who wears the masquerade cloths smells the fart alone.
God bless you for this unbiased and objective feedback. The truth is most Nigerian wives become disrespectful and nonsubmissive to their husbands, despite repeated admonitions. Same way, most Nigerian husbands become egoistic and don't cease from issues of dislike raised by their wives,.despite several complaints. Love for the children is solely the major reason holding most Nigerian marriages now - I can tell you for free.
DeleteEven if she committed an abomination
DeleteEven if she did the worse a human being can ever do, SHE IS PREGNANT for heaven sake. She is a PREGNANT WOMAN. She's caring his first fruit. Anything at this atage, at this 5th trimester can lead to premature delivery bcos of this ... she is almost due to deliver abi you didn't read that?
.
What happen if she's in labour now and they need the husband consent to do CS? Is that how she will be calling him and he won't pick?
That is foolishness at its peak, Foolishness from the husband part.
He is a baby husband.
You don't keep malice with a pregnant woman. You don't do something that will ignite her BP. What about if she goes to labour and she developed BP? That singular act can lead to death.
Ask around..
Make your findings..
At this juncture, it is pointless you trying to justify the man, talking about hearing the man's side of the story bla bla bla..
Poster, start making plans for your delivery. Report to your inlaws or better still tell your family to come stand by your side during the delivery
Also, try and free your mind. You d3need to enter lab3room feeling this way.
Talk to family members to come be by your side. Dont rely on your husband.
Goodluck and i wish you safe delivery.
xoxo.
Instead of admonishing the bad behaviour of the husband at this crucial period that the wife is about to put to bed, no ooo. They skipped the obvious thing to satisfy their gender war 'we must win as men' attitude to be ranting Nigerian women this and that. Make una kwantinu.💅🏾
DeleteEven if she's at fault. Hasn't she apologized? Or you men don't like 'i am sorry' anymore? The woman tries any means to reconcile after an argument and here you are still putting the blame on her. It seems apologizing isn't necessary anymore. I see.
DeleteThey ll never need the husbands consent for Cs while she is conscious
DeleteSee brilliant unbiased pieces of advice. Why would God not let us many of this person around? God bless Ma/Sir.
DeleteAlot of times, even Stella does not care to mention about knowing the other side of the story.
The reason you don't see too many cases from men is because of what the society has made to become. That they must tale all the rubbish because they are men. It's unfair to some men(the responsible ones)
@22:42
DeleteUnless you are a Medical Doctor/certified Health care worker telling us the standard protocol or you are talking from personal experience, it appears some private hospitals do ask for consent in non-emergency cases.
So if yo go into labour he is going to ignore you. I honestly do not know what to tell you. If you are high with pregnancy and he is doing this what won’t he do.
ReplyDeleteWhen he is back to talking please sit him down and let him know how his actions make you feel. Ask him how he will instruct a child in good character building if he is keeping malice. Encourage him to go get help because it is not a good way and you fear that in a time of need you will not be able to depend on him since he won’t even acknowledge a text message. If you have a religious leader speak to them. Remind him that you are spouses and it normal to not see eye to eye on everything but you work through the differences together not keep malice for weeks.
Communication is very important.your hubby needs to understand malice is a sin and it's unacceptable in your home.
ReplyDeleteWomen pls let's try to build our home with the word of God.these men are like our babies.we must know how to keep them on our sides always, not a side chic, God forbid!.
A man who has the fear of God in him wouldn't go to bed keeping malice with his wife.its important we resolve conflicts at home with love and with the word of God.
Poster pls do not worry yourself at this stage cos you need to be in good health and prepare for the safe delivery of that child.
You are a peaceful wife - unlike most of the empty and arrogant ones up in the comments section.
DeletePastors takes the lead in malice keeping o. You never see something
DeleteWhen they come to church they'll pretend as if all is well. I don't even know between men of God and street guys who has the fear of God more
DeleteAnd you are a cantankerous husband or husband to be. Hopefully you don't incessantly keep malice with your wife or wife to be.
DeleteE bone you you bone am naa the only solution o poster. Since I employ this method, honestly I dey incharge and happy also after years of being the one to beg. Once I see he wan change his mood, I don first change my own, no time for rubbish again. I'm enjoying my home more now because Oga don calm down
ReplyDeleteAll husbands, wives, and marriages are not the same.
DeleteAll fingers are equal but not of equal length.
That is why we have marital chronicles.
Some men/women did back and never went back to their paternal home.
That was how a husband stole back a car he wholly bought for his wife in order to keep her at home on weekends. (the Bv said she was out on weekends for weddings).
Some of us Bvs told her to go steal (and sell off?) the husband's car in revenge.
The husband risked some peoples lives because he could not get his wife to sit at home on weekends. And was too simp to act in her face.
We advised the wife to risk more lives by sending thieves after her husband car (or even his life) and maybe finally destroy the marriage just to show she can do back to what he did.
Why is it always on this revenge and returned evil that women are ever ready to give back HUNDRED percent and encourage other women to do.
When a husband carries full financial load and half the chores of his family and sometimes of his in-laws, we do not hear women asking the settled wife to give back to her husband and in-laws or even split bills 50/50 when she comfortably can.
Only BAD should to given back.
The matter here is a very simple one.
Mercifully, some very practical pieces of advice has been given to the Poster.
Walking by and working on them, even her husband being absent going forward, would not affect her much relating to her pregnancy and childbirth all things being equal.
But if she likes, let her do "You venge me, I revenge you".
If I were her brother, I would call the man that we are taking her home or sending a mature sister to be with her on our family expense till are delivery date. If he is not ashamed to act, then we know there is more to the matter to be looked into.
I hope you are also incharge of welfare of the home, spending your funds as the incharge that you are. You have boys or will have boys that will marry who will be in charge of them and shut them put. Una no dey fear God. Incharge fire, at your age
DeleteLOL @23:39
DeleteJust try to be happy,please, everything is going to be alright,mind games are the most hurtful especially during pregnancy,stay focused on your delivery,God got your back.
ReplyDeleteHow petty can some men be, even in her condition?
ReplyDeleteBut poster these signs were there while dating but you ignored it.
Women are the home builders, do not return same energy pray for Grace to be strong in all these and never stop telling him how his actions makes you feel
This is why I keep preaching a delay on getting pregnant when the marry is fresh. The couple needs to get to know each other, see what the marriage is and work out their issues. I get if time is not on their side and they must rush to get pregnant, otherwise just wait a while . A new marriage requires an adjustment period for both parties, they will both see things they never saw or knew before about the other.
DeleteI really do not know how any many can keep malice with his pregnant wife. Pregnancy is such a risky period and anything could happen, just be kind and helpful. If you can’t be your best for a mere 9 months out of your life then when will you be your best. He is sowing seeds of strife when this should be a most joyous period of their lives, drawing them closer with them moving from two to one, and reaping the prosperity of their union through a child.
I won't be in a rush to castigate your husband cos you haven't told us what exactly you were doing to him that was bringing about the misunderstanding. Also, in the course of the misunderstanding, what do you usually say to him? I think your goal should be to kill those misunderstandings that arises from time to time, especially if they are always your fault and you will surely enjoy your husband.
ReplyDeleteDibia Arusi
But in a rush to throw aspersions on the wife because she is female. Kwantinu.
DeleteWisdom. People like you will make a healthy society. God bless you.
DeleteA friend was saying that her husband will have something to discuss with her but that because he is shy, he woiid rather leave the house then send her messages on whatsapp..and she was happy? Hahahaha the man has been boxed into not being to discuss issues with her openly inperson. He is afraid of her reactions.
Wishing you a safe delivery, hope you have made arrangements for someone to support you during the labour?.
ReplyDeleteIt's obvious you are worried and desires his support during this period. Try and mend fences, get someone he respects to mediate (if it's acceptable to him-some people become more angry if outsiders are involved). .. maybe a close relative.
I have heard a cousin complaining that we ladies hide under pregnancy to exhibit 'bad character ' then pretend it is caused by hormones. I had to tell him to keep shut, pregnancy is stressful, our body is changing, needs are much so everyone should be more patient and understanding.
Please postpone the quarrel until after delivery, you will not have time after delivery sef, praying for God blessings for you. Sha get someone you know to call/check on him to be sure he's fine, he has to step up as a dad.
Finally, (if you are a Christian -pray for him, yes pray because this is affecting your union and the new baby)...let prayer and supplication be made for all men/women. Win on your knees, it's not weakness, rather it's your strength. People may laugh at you and call you desperate to be married, but, the heart of a king is in hands of the almighty who answered your previous prayers when you were single.
PCX
All I can say is hormones can wreak havoc in a some women who are not pregnant, not to mention some who are heavily pregnant and also suffering from other issues as well, such as nausea, blood pressure issues, pressure in their nether regions etc.
DeleteYou are a blessed soul.
DeleteIt was posted on this blog that men have their hormones issues too. so, this hormones matter is real. However, some issues are not hormone induced or actuated.
DeleteSome people have said it does not matter whatever the woman did so long she is pregnant, the man is at fault here. As told, the man has overdone this one in the stated circumstances.
But what if a woman over did? What could she have done? Plenty. For example, a simple refusal to listen to advice against what obviously puts the baby at risk. And the man says continue in my absence so that you alone will tell what happened to the baby. However fullish that may sound, that is how the man know to keep his own sanity.
This same type of wilfull disobedience by a wife almost led to a baby's death a day before delivery
It's not hard na. Give him same energy he gives to you. Place so much value on yourself and act up as if he doesn't exist. Na wa o
ReplyDeleteThis was me at the beginning of my marriage. every little thingy, I’ll carry face and won’t talk to my husband for days. One time I did it and we didn’t speak for 6 weeks. He decided not to apologize. Omo I felt itttt ehn. I was now missing him and wanted to talk to him badly. But my pride wouldn’t let me be I was too embarrassed to initiate a conversation. . He eventually spoke to me and spoke his mind. That was the last time I did that nonsense. It made me realize this is how he feels every time I give him the silent treatment. It’s a toxic trait.
ReplyDeletePoster this is what you’ll do; your hormones are all over the place right now. You mentally physically and emotionally need him because you might end up getting a bad postpartum depression. Suck it up for now and reach out to him. When you reach out to him, it won’t be to sweet talk him or apologize initially. Let him thoroughly know your mind/how you feel. You’ll let him know you’re pregnant, not feeling well, and this is absolutely not the time to give attitude! It’s affecting you and your baby. I pray you won’t develop high blood pressure. Preeclampsia is real so God forbid if anything happens. Once you reach out to him, and express your mind, he won’t respond but he’ll read it. Let him be after that. When he gets home, have a one to one conversation with him and let him know how serious this is. If you need to apologize this time around, then apologize. Remember you’re doing it for you and your current condition. Not for him.
Next, start reaching out to your family, friends, cousins, anybody you can reach out to for support. Now that you know you can’t rely on this man emotionally, you’ll have to start detaching yourself emotionally from him for your own mental health sake. Having a baby will take a lot of your energy mentally and physically so you’ll really need you for you and your baby. Continue to reach out to others and let him be your last resort. A lot of these men are not emotionally mature (not all). This is why I tell women not to get so attached to men to the detriment of your own health!
Once you are emotionally strong very well ehn, next time he keeps malice with you, start mirroring that same attitude small small. (Unless you know you’re at fault, then apologize). If you’re not at fault, stand your ground and don’t let him manipulate you emotionally! Start mirroring that same attitude small small, next time, make it longer and longer until he comes crawling back to you. If it goes on and on and you can’t take it anymore, move to your parent’s place for the time being for your mental sanity sake. This will really help you know the kind of guy you married and to know if he’ll fight for your marriage. You’re basically the only one fighting for this marriage and you can’t do it alone. It takes two to make a marriage work! This is also not fair for the kids. It’ll be such a boring and depressing environment. Ps: don’t have baby # 2 with him o until this is truly resolved. Also see a marriage counselor and pray for your marriage. Goodluck 💕
Ps: please only take this advise once you’re emotionally stable and strong. For now, it’s all about you and your baby and right now, you won’t even have the mental strength to go fire to fire with him. This advise is for after your baby is walking self or when you’re very strong enough to ignore his Bullsh!t. Again, No try am now oo biko. You’ll also need good support system around you to help you focus on yourself. I’ll also say, empower yourself, make your own money, get a high paying job, network with others, do certifications if you need to or start a business after your baby is born (once you’ve settle into motherhood well well). All the best. 💕💕
@20:36
Delete"This was me at the beginning of my marriage."
You eventually settled with your husband.
How is your marriage now?
Good? How did YOU BOTH achieved it.
You should have told us before launching into how Poster should bend her marriage away from her husband.
Some of us give advice and suggestions that will only make matters worse while we are enjoying our marriages.
Instead of telling Poster that she and her husband should sit down and resolve the source(s) of their disagreement(s) or agree on how to resolve issues without attitudes, you are giving her steps to exacerbate the conflict.
We (especially the women on this blog [no apologies]) knock marriages here often as valueless.
Why do we give advice on how to remain and be a cold blooded scorched earth warrior in marriages.
Who lives in a battle field?
Watch news of inhabitants of war torn and strife ridden lands
Look at the eyes of the people there. See the forlorn looks and despondence?
We counsel to eat well, dress well, do this, do that, focus on children (who are sometimes or most times wholly catered for by the fathers), prosper, get side cock(s), nack pigeon on heads, etc. all in a marriage full of strife? And the coldness of the counsel numbs.
If anybody can live and achieve well in a marriage of strife, that person should ask how much better she/he would achieve outside of the strife. Or maybe is it because always the stay-and-fight/strife-back person is wickedly leeching on the other partner in the marriage or the person is truly the one causing the strife in the family?
Poster I really feel for you especially as you are pregnant and your emotions are all over the place, just try and ignore him, I will come around.
ReplyDeleteIt's very immature of your husband to be keeping malice. Just ignore him for the sake of your child. He will be fine
ReplyDeletePoster hope you don't talk down on him when you have misunderstanding or quarrel??.
ReplyDeleteWhat makes him to be ignoring you or to keep malice. what is the bone of contention??
Don't tell me it's just a minor issue that makes him to behave in such manner .
Watch your words and control your anger when issue arises.
Apologize immediately when you are at fault.
Poster what you do is to at least complain to one of his family member so they ll understand your plight at this trimester you need love and care especially now that he is far away from you .
ReplyDeleteIf you feel that if you complain it will cause more problem just text him ,type a long essay on Whatsapp telling him how you feel , greet him make sure somebody is close by for your delivery , if you still have a sister make one your paddy like she checks on you all the time.
Make your hair ,listen to music ,watch videos and make yourself happy tell your unborn baby that your re ready to welcome him/her I'm telling you the sadness will reduce.
Dress and look good everyday ,change your DP talk to God and allow him to take over prepare for favour room with joy we LL await your testimony.
When everything settles make it a rule that malice will not be tolerated in your house
Safe delivery in advance TMB
Don't know why men do this.
ReplyDeleteThey don't know what love is.
Genuine love cares just like Agape.
Many people don't understand. Even with someone who isn't your spouse or family you should deal like this.
Poster ignore him. You won't die
Wives respect your husbands and husbands respect your wives, do not be brash/ harsh with them. This respect is a two way thing! Why raise your voice on another, even in anger, do not raise your voice, otherwise do not speak! @ poster reach out once again, and if he doesn't respond let him be, till he comes around...it is too exhausting 'chasing' a grown man, what he is doing is a form of emotional abuse.
ReplyDeleteMany people have written articles about how they were helped but I am very grateful to this great man who brought my ex-husband back to me. This testimony is a true story and my name is Jennifer Sanchez. When I came in contact with this man was also through a testimony written about him helping with a cure for Herpes Virus and I have also encountered many testimonies about how he has been helping others with their life to win the lottery. To get back with an ex is one of the most innermost feelings many people would love to experience especially as those memories with our ex always cloud our mind when someone else does some of those things our ex used to do. I was a single parent of two boys for almost 6 years and though my ex-husband was not staying with me and the kids I still wish someday he will return to me. This doctor I encountered is known as Dr. Odunga helped me with my wishes and I am happy to write on this website that my ex-husband is back with me. I am very happy to share the testimony with everyone so that they too can meet this great doctor and solve their problems. I don't know what others might feel about getting their ex back in their life but I always know there is a blessing in disguise with just a single re-connection with an ex. If you want to successfully get back with your ex or facing an infertility problem, contact this great man at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com Or WhatsApp/Call +2348167159012 and share an awesome testimony too just as I did
ReplyDeleteMany people have written articles about how they were helped but I am very grateful to this great man who brought my ex-husband back to me. This testimony is a true story and my name is Jennifer Sanchez. When I came in contact with this man was also through a testimony written about him helping with a cure for Herpes Virus and I have also encountered many testimonies about how he has been helping others with their life to win the lottery. To get back with an ex is one of the most innermost feelings many people would love to experience especially as those memories with our ex always cloud our mind when someone else does some of those things our ex used to do. I was a single parent of two boys for almost 6 years and though my ex-husband was not staying with me and the kids I still wish someday he will return to me. This doctor I encountered is known as Dr. Odunga helped me with my wishes and I am happy to write on this website that my ex-husband is back with me. I am very happy to share the testimony with everyone so that they too can meet this great doctor and solve their problems. I don't know what others might feel about getting their ex back in their life but I always know there is a blessing in disguise with just a single re-connection with an ex. If you want to successfully get back with your ex or facing an infertility problem, contact this great man at odungaspelltemple@gmail.com Or WhatsApp/Call +2348167159012 and share an awesome testimony too just as I did
ReplyDelete