A CHRONICLE BEFORE MARRIAGE
My people, I have this issue which has been on my mind but I actually have not been able to come up with an idea on how to go about it.
My people, I have this issue which has been on my mind but I actually have not been able to come up with an idea on how to go about it.
I am going to withhold some details because some people might decode the characters involved ...
I dated this girl in 2013 ( she is 4yrs older than me), more experienced than I was then. So, eventually she became pregnant for me and then her parents got to know about it. My plan was to go settle it with her parents and then marry her.
I was and still doing very well financially, I own houses and different properties around in one of the biggest cities in Nigeria. Her family attends one of the old " churches(not catholic)" while mine attends RCCG.
While she was still pregnant we started having issues regarding church matter. They were calling my denomination " my religion" because to them I was/is not a Christian.
They were saying I would have to travel to meet the father in the East, go through some religious process/initiation of faith conversion for one week. The idea didn't sit well with my people( I am from the North), while still dragging the matter, she put to birth eventually through CS successfuly, but we losT the baby the following day at the hospital.
The MD of the hospital called me at night that he would want to see me in the morning because when it was confirmed that she had put to birth successfully bathed the baby, I was advised to drive back home and then comeback to see them in the hospital the following morning( my sister and her own sister were with her).
It was towards the end of late hour of the following morning my sister called my line that I should get up and start to pray because the baby was not in a good condition. Few hours later the baby died, so I was later told by the doctor. But in his office he advised me to not blame " my wife" as she was introduced.
I also didn't ask him why because truly I loved her and I didn't want to hear stories that would make me to view her differently. I cried my eyes out but later bought a place at the cemetery and the boy was buried. Since the time she told me she was pregnant till the moment she delivered, I made sure she lacked nothing. Infact my late mom clearly told me when she was still alive then that before she would open her mouth to ask for anything make sure you provide it
This Chronicle is not complete so i dont know what to advice but it looks like the different religion and family will not make this work......You are the man thatunderstands so i will even advice you not to marry her...Just move on...una never marry, Chronicle don come and even long....
How do we advice you on a half baked story?
ReplyDeleteWhat are your questions?
Where do you need advice?
It's still early now,Mr man please you both should move on,though easier said by us as an advice but it's actually best if you take to it***My brother married a Catholic,they had issues with that at the beginning but my brother was gentle enough to please his inlaws besides they are good people too,my brother agreed with whatever they wanted and married his wife,after their wedding he went back to his own church while is wife continued to be a Catholic,his wife joind him willing to attend his church when their children started arriving, no issues,everyone is happy
DeleteCome and complete the story.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what the writer is getting at - but since their relationship journey supposedly began 11 years ago, I don't think it has anything to do with whether or not he should marry her, now!
ReplyDelete2013 or 2023?
ReplyDeletePlease come back and complete the story. Why today that I made it early to chronicle post?
ReplyDeleteMaybe religious problems caused stress which led to the infant’s death. Sometimes parents should leave young ppl alone and give them space to sort themselves out. Culture and religion has caused too much unnecessary stress in the lives of young ppl, even the unborn. My heart goes out to you for the pain you experienced.
ReplyDeletePlease complete your chronicle, sir.
What exactly do you want us to advice you on..cause this Chronicle is not complete
ReplyDeleteThis chronicle doesn't have head and tail. It's not complete
ReplyDeleteIt has head, na the tail remain.
DeleteOga your story no complete o, but do you feel that cuz you lost the baby, then there is no need to go on with the marraige as the family is stressing you with religion matter? If yes
ReplyDeleteThen i advice you have a talk with her as regards this religion matter( some catholics can be so annoying and adamant) if she wouldn't call her people to order, then break things off.
I was raised as an Rccg member, when i went to school, i attended winners and salvation ministries at some point, i married an anglican and got wedded in an anglican church cuz i didn't particularly care as long as it was a church.
Our church members(Rccg) particularly our pastors wife grumbled and complained eh. I just went and told my dad that i want to wed in anglican church, ofcourse i knew that i was supposed to be wedded in my church but i didnt want for reasons i can't type as hand don dey pain me.
Gifty
You didn't see where he wrote in bracket that it's not catholic?
DeleteGifty next time take your time to read before you write..he boldly said it that not catholic church..
DeleteMy mistake
DeleteThanks anon
Gifty
Eleyi ko ye mi rara
ReplyDeleteChronicle is not complete, but Don't convert and go through any intiation into anything. Stick to your RCCG. If they stress you much, leave her alone for her church people.
ReplyDeleteI would convert
DeleteSheybi na to take class
No big deal there
Take time out and be kind with her. Then ask and discuss the way forward, pray.
DeleteCondolences on the loss of the baby
Her age does not matter.
ReplyDeleteIncomplete story
Poster your chronicle is not complete..
ReplyDeleteBut what's wrong with us Africans when it comes to religion? Why can't everybody worship and believe anyone they want without the other party wanting to convert the other..
My brother please move on. you can never enjoy marrying from this family because they already have issues with your religion.
ReplyDeletePeace of mind is all that matters.
You can enjoy very well if the girl is ready for you
DeleteNot everyone’s family dictates to them
Incomplete gist
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling she is a Witness. They usually don't accept any other religion or denomination because they are the only ones going to Heaven.
ReplyDeletei have seen the full chronicle, i will post tomorrow
ReplyDeleteMy advice is different pls look for her and marry her properly ,by impregnating her before marriage is a sin but approach her and her parents ,abandoning her as some suggested the heart of wickedness and more over she didn't have any problem with you
ReplyDeleteWhat do you mean that she was introduced 😳 this chronicle is incomplete and we await the conclusion part so that we can give advise accordingly.
ReplyDeleteIf you both kept dragging church for almost a year till the baby was born. That baby might have seen that you both are not ready to take good care of him and the baby decided yo give you both some space. Move on with your life since the pregnancy was what made you to start thinking of getting married to her.
The chronicle is incomplete but it seems you are trying to imply she had something to do with the demise of the child, directly or indirectly?
ReplyDeleteIf you know anything about delivery, you'd know that most women just want to sleep after the relief of childbirth that day.
Also, both your sisters were there. How could anyone have harmed the baby?
Sha come and complete the story
ReplyDeleteWhen the chronicle is complete, I would know what to say
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of church does she attend if is not Catholic neither RCCG
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm🙄🙄
You both are not married nahh
Baby is no more
My brother live Love and face ya Life ooo..