He wrote;"Fareeda I use to think I didn't care about these things but something happened long time ago while I was in the dating pool.This babe followed me to the family house and it was only mumcy around. The kids all were out so mumcy dished food for us
Walk with me
I carried the food to the dining table myself from the kitchen then called this shawty over from the sitting room to join me let's eat. After the meal I got some few bucks from mumcy and was about to leave. So this girl now went "thank you ma for the food
As if my mum had planned it..she didn't even lift her head as she was pressing her phone then she went "did you wash my plates?
The girl turn look me open eyes...me sef spread my eyes wide
I kukuma didn't know this was going to happen, am as shocked
as u are baby girl. B4 baby girl could mutter any answer mumcy was like go inside that kitchen & wash my plates before you leave this house!
Wetin burst my brain be say me and mumcy never spoke about that incident up to this very day
But I got the message."
The normal thing to do,after eating is take your plate to the kitchen and wash it. I sense the mum didn't like the girl, why being cold to her. She would have simply said "you are welcome" before asking her if she washed her plates. 🙄
ReplyDeleteActually, some behaviour can be very irritating to pretend about it..
DeleteOld woman give you free food and you dey keep plate down, for who to wash? Do you lack home training or common sense?..
E dey vex me sef
My kid brother would always wash the plates after eating when he visits me.
DeleteHe came 2 weeks ago with a friend of his - whom I have come to see as a younger brother as well - and after their meal, the boy washed the plates.
So I don't see any reason why BOYS will know to clean up after eating and a GIRL will now finish eating and feel 'thank you Ma' is the next sensible thing to say.
Ron but your kid brother didn’t enter the kitchen to wash or show initiative to clear plates, I’m sure his friend will not bother.
DeleteIf the old woman has trained her son well, he would have taken the lead as a well brought up man to clear the dishes and initiate washing. I’m very sure the fiancé will follow him at least to keep him company in the kitchen. The man and his mother are a perfect example of a failed upbringing and family dynamics. He should pick the lesson and be a better man so he doesn’t lose a good woman from he and his mums failures.
Lol, her own child was not asked to wash the plates because he is male but a visitor who she does not know should go inside and wash her plate. Some mothers need to do better in raising their male child(ren).
ReplyDeleteAnon 12:34, my exact sentiments. Why didn't homeboy say, "shawty, let's clear the table; follow me to the kitchen etc"?
DeleteDid they marry? If yes, did MIL and DIL get along?
ReplyDeleteWould have loved to know.
Always better to move to clear the table and to wash the plates, and let the host say no.
I agree to your last sentence,,
DeleteNah my mom won't let you inside her kitchen and would rather send her son that brought the babe to wash the plate.
ReplyDeleteIf they are both guests ie the son not staying at home, my Mom can never ask anyone to wash plates. She'll be happy they enjoyed her food and make the girl feel welcome. Though she would still observe the girl. My Mom is a very good judge of character. She doesn't have to make you feel bad before she can have an idea of the kind of person you are. Sometimes I feel she is too accommodating. But if she notices a red flag, she would tell her kid later.
DeleteThe mum is a bush woman.
ReplyDeleteImagine her as an in law.
DeleteVery local woman
DeleteThat was the mum's way of letting her son and the girl know she's not welcome to the family.
ReplyDeleteTwins ♊ Squared.
If the woman had trained her son well, she wouldn't need to embarrass a visitor to make a point. Growing up, I knew acquaintances that I'd never invite to the house [again] just by gauging my parents' demeanor/reactions or inactions. They didn't have to say a word or call a meeting or embarrass our "friends" and this had nothing to do with food. I know my acquaintances that my husband doesn't really like as well and I dey comport. Even if he get issues with them, na me he go tell NOT them directly. If your head correct, you go know say for your own good, make this person no enter this compound again.
ReplyDeleteIf her son had always washed the dishes after eating at home, there wouldn't be need for that unnecessary drama. That said, I would have offered to do the dishes after eating since there weren't any domestic staff or younger persons around and it wasn't like I was an "expected" visitor. If she tells me not to bother because she probably doesn't like people in her kitchen, that one na different kettle of fish. Mama nor dey run restaurant na. Na for hotel and restaurant person dey chop leave plate for staff to pack and wash.
Last last, e dey hard me to chop for person house no matter how nice or neat. So person like me, I fit follow my friend go their house make I no gree chop or drink anything for there except na party. You go beg me tire. So, Shey na me wey never gree chop or drink for una house your mama wan begin give attitude with command tone say make I enter kitchen go dey wash plates? Na you wey be her pikin she go command to go wash am while I wait for you to finish up the chore. If you chop anyhow, you go see anyhow. Chest am🥱
no be only chest am!Lol
DeleteI can imagine the shock on the girls face. 🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteShe doesn't want to see her again.
ReplyDeleteThat is a yeye woman there...the proper thin is for ur son to wash the plates. He's the one that brought a visitor. I dnt know abt other pple bt in my house we host visitors well. There's no way my Mum would allow your visitor wash plates when you are there. Dem no born you well.
ReplyDeleteYeye no be small oo. Just de embarrass person pikin anyhow. Too bad!
DeleteIf there's so much pressure when one visits ,then mayb girls shld learn how not to visit...mk everybody dey deir house abeg.
ReplyDeleteSome mothers sha.
ReplyDeleteAbeg the girl didn't lose anything. Thr mother is a nasty person
ReplyDeleteIf I be the babe, naeem be sey I don japa be dat.
DeleteHow do people allow strangers into their kitchens on the first visit in the name of plate washing? What's wrong with her son's hands?
ReplyDeleteA stranger can't enter my kitchen,talk less of washing plates,my food stuffs,spices,fridge are all inside my kitchen and they all relate with my mouth and belly,my kitchen is a no entry zone,eat as you like,I go wash the plates but entering my kitchen is a no no.
ReplyDeleteIt would never cross my mind to ask a visitor to do anything
ReplyDeleteBut honestly when I visit peoples houses and their parents are around they slays fall in love with me
I’ll gait like we’re friends but I’ll still follow mummy round and do stuff with her. It never crosses my mind to leave my dishes unwashed especially if the kitchen is open
You have to use sense. If they keep a close door kitchen don’t force your way in there. It may not be looking good that day and they don’t want you to see it
I will not wash because in my house you will not be allowed to wash plate after meal and if the mum embarrassed me like this that is the end of the relationship because she had already showed that i am not welcome.
ReplyDeleteNa person way him papa house burn will be that desperate.
Parent let us give our kids the impression that they are always welcome home anytime as this will make them not to take every shit that comes their way.
Mama way no fit talk to her son they give another person pickin order rubbish
What happens to simple manners ?the lady was wrong she should have wash the plate after all she has eyes to see that children are not around her .Infact this is enough for her to be replaced ,as for those saying contrary,that is why many of you won't marry because of feminism and stupidity
ReplyDeleteWhat happens to simple manners ?the lady was wrong she should have wash the plate after all she has eyes to see that children are not around her .Infact this is enough for her to be replaced ,as for those saying contrary,that is why many of you won't marry because of feminism and stupidity
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣. See curse on top washing of plate. No vex abeg.
DeleteCultures are so different because where I am from it would be an insult to ask a guest to wash the dishes. I have never seen it done, nor would I do it.
ReplyDeleteNa im be say the mama sef no train her son well if not, how the son no know say he suppose wash plates before dem comot for house? Boy wey dey carry woman still dey collect "bucks" from maale?!
ReplyDeleteCommon sense should tell you to wash your plates after eating wether in your house or at someone else's, except if the owner of the home insist you leave the plates.
ReplyDeleteCommon sense should tell you to wash your plates after eating wether in your house or at someone else's, except if the owner of the home insist you leave the plates.
ReplyDeletePt 1
ReplyDeleteI remember when I visited the parents of one guy that wanted to marry me years ago. He said enter the car I want to pick something and boom we landed at his parents house.
I was not happy but packaged myself. I first sat down for about an hour watching superstory. No one even acted like a visitor was around. Then before I know it his mother said I should come to the kitchen with her so we can arrange food for our husbands. Mama which husband ke. Man that I’ve not even slept with. The look on my face that day. I sha packaged and entered kitchen. This woman made me cut and wash green and pound coco yam.
When food was ready she made me serve the men watching tv and I follow her and eat in the kitchen. I said mama can I pack it and go it’s very late. She said no that shebi I am sleeping over. I said nothing. Then it was yellow taxi that was raining no bolt or uber.
I told uncle that I needed to go back to school but after plenty begging I stayed. That’s how I ate in the kitchen, washed everything, swept kitchen and tied wrapper to sleep. As mosquito was biting me uncle was using hand to press me like fufu. I was fighting mosquito and fighting man. I said no sex, he will say let me touch my baby small, let me suck my baby breast small. I don’t want to go into details but my jaw was swollen as the only way to allow uncle not rape me. He was just shouting like person wey dem never suck his prick before. I was so ashamed and scared. Fear and shame didn’t even let me shout for help. As I dey suck prick I dey cry, uncle dey moan say I wan kill am. Who was killing who?
In the morning mama came to knock on the door that i come for devotion. Almost one hour of prayer wey no go reach heaven. She will shout that I should pray loud but mama how I go take shout when your son nearly use gbola scatter my throat. After she said I should follow her to arrange the house, I just carried my bag.
Oya let me leave it turned to fight that who will wash the wrapper and bed sheet I use, that I am a loose girl and lack home training. Nothing I didn’t hear that morning. I washed and was crying. As I was washing mama was reporting me to neighbors that she doesn’t know where her son found me that which responsible girl will leave school and follow a man. That did they hear all the noise we were making that even she that is married doesn’t make that type of noise at night. I was wondering which noise I was making because it was her son that was doing all the shouting.
Pt 2
ReplyDeleteIn the morning mama came to knock on the door that i come for devotion. Almost one hour of prayer wey no go reach heaven. She will shout that I should pray loud but mama how I go take shout when your son nearly use gbola scatter my throat. After she said I should follow her to arrange the house, I just carried my bag.
Oya let me leave it turned to fight that who will wash the wrapper and bed sheet I use, that I am a loose girl and lack home training. Nothing I didn’t hear that morning. I washed and was crying. As I was washing mama was reporting me to neighbors that she doesn’t know where her son found me that which responsible girl will leave school and follow a man. That did they hear all the noise we were making that even she that is married doesn’t make that type of noise at night. I was wondering which noise I was making because it was her son that was doing all the shouting.
From the bus I was crying like person wey dem thief her bag. I got to my hostel and was weeping oh. My roommates gathered. I said let me have my bath see shout. All my body see bruises. My closest roommate then had to pull me aside to ask what really happened because which man will mark my body like the in the name of I wanna fuck you. I had to tell her that he almost rapes me but I gave him blow job so he will leave me alone. My breast were paining me for like a week. Nipples looking like breastfeeding mother’s own. I ended it immediately. Till today uncle is married but still trying to reach me but I’ve warned him away. Rubbish family.
My husband didn’t even stress me. His family treated me like a princess. When I met his parents they killed chicken for me and served me food with plenty obstacles. Told me to leave my tray on the table and brought water for me to wash my hand. Plenty juice and shortbread. Good vibes. Ask me about myself, what I like. Once my husband said I no dey take eye see ice cream my fil sent someone to buy supreme for me. My fil gave me money when I was leaving and my mil packed the remaining chicken for me to take home with plantain and juice. She collected my number and called me to find out if I had gotten home safe. I was with my husband when she called. She called me first because after she called me she called him. It was later I get to find out that they contacted my townspeople to find out about my family. It’s been bliss for 6 years and counting. No kids yet but no one is stressing me. All the parties my mil will buy asoebi and send to me or our tailor. Na me be her plus one and she tells everyone that I’m her daughter.
See the difference now.
I am soooooo happy you are happy now. Bless you!
DeleteChai! This your story I didn’t know whether to be horrified or to laugh. That first family was really a useless family
Delete