This man is married with four kids. We greet casually when we bump into each other, apart from occasional meetings in the house to address any urgent issue or the yearly Christmas get-together that another neigbour organises, we don't sit in the same space.
I told you all of the above so you will know the type of relationship between me and this man.
One cold morning, I was taking my kids to school as wifey who does it was not feeling well, on seeing my girls, he smiled at my second daughter and said "my wife how are you? shake me".
One cold morning, I was taking my kids to school as wifey who does it was not feeling well, on seeing my girls, he smiled at my second daughter and said "my wife how are you? shake me".
I was furious but I managed to tell him calmly but firmly that he should never refer to any of my girls as his wife again, I told him I don't condone such jokes. He was speechless, he just stood there and looked at us till we left the compound.
When I got back home, I told my wife what happened, she laughed and said our daughter is his wife, that is what he calls her. For a second, I thought I was talking to a stranger. My own educated wife allowed someone to call our little daughter his wife?
I told her that I abhore such and that it is not proper, she should warn anyone who tries such with any of our kids. That is one of the traits of paedophiles, they call little kids "my wife, my husband".
I have lived in Europe for a few months, I also lived in an African country for a few years, I didn't see such. I hate it.
You have every right to! I grew up with the same culture and I heard elderly people refer to me as that and I never saw it as anything but after going into consciousness and the rate of child molestation, I would want any of my kids referred to as that from an older person...
ReplyDeleteTake it easy with your wife...Most educated people don't see it as an issue...
** Sorry I wouldn't want anyone **rather
ReplyDeleteAhhhhh 🥴
ReplyDeleteYou are not actually right you know 😔
Or let me say , you are not "totally" right about the fact that only pedophiles do that 😊
ReplyDeleteI dont condole it and will not hesitate to stop you from referring to any of my kids with such name. No be only wife na husband too
ReplyDeleteIt might just be a harmless statement,but one just need to be careful in these times.
ReplyDeleteAt times,it's very harmless,growing up it's wasn't an issue but modern parents now frown at it.
ReplyDeleteI don't have a problem with it because I teach my son sex education and makes him understand my relationship with anyone we come in contact with.
For my son,he is everyone's son in law because he is a cutie,so how many people will say,no,he is not your son in law.
Mariam
It is definitely not harmless. Every man who called me and my sisters their wives, always ended up trying to molest us or 'date' us. Na so e dey start.
DeleteMariam,son in law is different. That one is normal talk,but a full grown man calling a little girl his wife is absolutely and totally wrong in this times we are in now.
DeleteI am sure if he said see my son's wife or daughter in law poster wouldn't have been upset.
Mariam, can't you read? How does son in-law relate to wife or husband? Are grown-up women calling your son their husband? Mtcheeeeeew
DeleteYour stance is very gooood ! That’s how abusers groom kids , good you are nipping it in the bud and tell your wife to do same .
ReplyDeleteYou did well.
ReplyDeleteThat is one of the traits of paedophiles, they call little kids "my wife, my husband".. please give the stats off such a heavy statement.
ReplyDeleteEuropean countries have their different cultures and culture-appropriate practices. This does not make the culture of African countries or societies secondary. How many Europeans did you see kneeling or prostrating to greet elders during your months of keen observation.? How many call women and men uncle and aunty or give children meaningful names? How many young people gave up their seats for the elderly when you were there. State your preferences about your children and rightfully protect them in peace but you don't have to indirectly call yourself a slave by queuing behind another culture that is not superior to yours because of the probably innocent error of one man.
When I was little, most of the men who called me my wife tried to molest me or did touch me inappropriately. Do not tolerate it at all .Also you need to speak to yours daughters and tell them about situations to run away from.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you cautioned Him. That's a joke taken way too far
ReplyDelete