Hmmm....
NARRATIVE ONE
RED FLAG HUSBAND
Good afternoon All,
Please i am a married woman and want to ask.....
how do you cope with a man that punishes you all the the time with the silent treatment, even when he's at fault? We are newly married and he never showed this character to me before we married, although it was a long distance relationship, it draining me seriously.
I'm just tired....
You have shown him that the silent treatment pains you and that is why he has continued....Please change it for him, if he shows you silent treatment, ignore him totally and concentrate on something that gives you positive energy...Appear your happiest whenever he is giving you the silent treatment...
A new marriage for that matter... abeg bone am back and dont get pregnant yet cos he might have more shockers in store for you and so that you wont say you are staying cos of the kids.
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NARRATIVE TWO
COLD SHOULDERS HUSBAND
Good Day everyone, please is it good to apologize to your husband even though he's the one who offended me, and currently giving me cold shoulders. I have done it earlier, but he's still angry.
I dont understand these kind of men nowadays? what is making Marriage so difficult sef? Did you start with apologising always to him? if yes, then you have to continue cos anything otherwise will breakthe Marriage...your man has apology entiltlement mentality...
Poster one, do the mirror effect. He gives you the silent treatment, you do the same to him. Simple.
ReplyDeletePoster two, take the advice I gave poster one.
Hhahahahahahahahahahahahahhaahahahahaha lmao
DeleteIt’s not easy mirroring someone else’s bad behavior especially if it’s not your nature, how long will she do that.Poster please talk it over with him do not apologize again just express your feelings to him.
DeleteWhat happens when she continues to talk about it, but he refuses to change??? Poster, pls do the mirror effect.
DeletePoster 1& 2 please take that mirror effect advice, e dey work like magic... sometimes show them back that you are mader than them, nonsense😏
DeleteMy dear you see that Stella advice up there, take it shaperly.
DeleteNo one gives silent treatment than my hubby when we first got married but after two years or three, I borrowed sense and now I do not stress myself anymore cos hell definitely call me before the end of the day.
Poster 1: Chai you have married a manipulative and immature husband...I pray the Lord strengthens you, na why I no subscribe to long distance relationship be this...
ReplyDeletePoster 2: I want to take the ''I have done it earlier'' to mean you have apologized to him...If you apologized to him, then please allow him...Some people tend to process hurt for a long period but I don't subscribe that you always apologize, this ''playing the bigger person'' all the time dey backfire...Just distract yourself and not allow your spouse countenance determine your mood..Be cheerful and happy, he will come around....It is well....
Biko are these men from planet Mars? What is going on...
Rubbish character very manipulative IMMATURE men looking for control and domination have absolutely NO BUSINESS GETTING MARRIED
DeleteI blame the mothers that raised these fragile ego, toxic masculinity excuse for men. Our society has really failed with the adult men, young and old. I only pray that women who give birth to sons in this generation can take up the challenge to raise them better.
ReplyDeleteThe same mothers who complained about their husbands not knowing how to treat women right.
DeleteEven the mothers who so complain here now. How many can put their hands on their chests and say they are training their sons right and that their daughter(s)-in-law will thank them or praise their memories.
Training mentioned above means the full package as most women would want of their husbands.
At least the women maybe trying, the “father’s “ role is what exactly?
DeleteAt least the women maybe trying, the “father’s “ role is what exactly?
Delete🤣🤣🤣🤣. You people haff married!
ReplyDeleteThe blue pen has said it ALL.
ReplyDeleteTwo wrongs can't make a right; why not be the one to be humbled and leave him with his ego by apologizing every time
ReplyDeleteNa you be apologizing Everytime 😅..see your mouth like apologizing Everytime as per my Lord and personal saviour abi?
DeleteBomb dey all of una head, mtcheww
Every time? So she no get ego as well? This will eventually jack up her self esteem and she’ll start to question her self worth. Na to let him know straight up and let him know it’s veryyy immature of him! Also, both posters will need to occupy themselves with other things and not focus on these men child!
DeleteSilent treatment is an emotional abuse!
In our second year of marriage my husband did this silent treatment for many times. When we reconciled I poured my heart to him and told him how it negatively affected my mental health.
ReplyDeleteThe next time he did it. I ignored him for some days. He came home in the evening, I served his food and went to bed woke up midnight to see he didn’t touch the food.
I went mad. Went in to the closet opened my boxes packed my clothes and that of my baby’s. Put them in the car and woke up the security man to open the gate for me.
I made up my mind to leave as I was almost going into depression. Living in the same house with someone yet not having anyone to talk to for days.
I kept reminiscing the happy home I grew up in, how my dad always greeted joyfully us in the morning like we suddenly came back home from a long trip and then I’m here with this man that seems not to care about my existence.
It was midnight and I intended to go lodge in a hotel for the rest of the night then fly back to my parents base the next day.
He heard the noise of the gate being opened and rushed out to see me driving out. He panicked thought something was wrong with the baby. I told him baby was fine but I was leaving to go back to people that truly love me and cared about my mental health.
He was shocked and begged me to come down. I refused o, he begged for a while, I eventually did. He carried our bags in and it’s been 7years since that incident and he has grown so much better in communication when offended. Even when offended he would tell me Babe I’m not the best mood now and would need time to process my feelings we would come back to this when I’m ready.
I love you already!!! Some of these men need a rude wakeup call to see the havoc they are wrecking in their homes.
DeleteKudos to you ❤️👍👍
DeleteThis is what am talking about, show this husbands madness sometimes to reset their dying brains 😁
Nice one Anonymous. Change am for ram. Emotional abuse is worse than Physical.
DeleteThank God for your marriage. I honestly think those who give silent treatment have some sort of mood disorder or are depressed. It’s mentally draining especially if you’re an extrovert ahhhhh. I couldn’t deal with it and broke it off with my exbf who was so good at it.
DeleteI like your style 👌
DeleteBut what works for A might not work for B
Thank God u had d instant money n lovely parents to give u dat courage... Some marry just to leave their original fam....God bless all.women....
DeletePoster 1, wouldn’t it be nice if you had the spirit to just divorce him and move on, then some of these badly mannered individuals will know nobody is worth the bullshit. Anyhow, only communication can fix this. Please let your horseband knows you are not his mother and have no intention of treating him like a child. If he is not ready to be a husband to let you know.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, No, it is not good to apologize to anyone if you have not caused any offence, it makes you look foolish and setup a terrible situation of extreme submission in your marriage that will come back to haunt you one day. Stop apologizing for things you did not do! Obviously, your husband is childish and immature, unless he is your only means of survival then walk tf away from it if he does not intend to be a man.
Poster 1: Silence treatment as how? Do you tried to talk to him he ignored or didn't answer?
ReplyDeleteIs it his own way of controlling anger or what??
Poster 2: One of attitudes that ruin relationship is pride/ego, who will be the first to say ' I AM SORRY '.
He is the one that offended you and has to apologize. Some men and ego are like 5 and 6. They don't admit when they are at fault . That's emotional blackmail per say.
My husband does this sometimes, before 3 dey pain me but now I no send. When he vex finish and come back to his senses I answer him.
ReplyDeleteBefore I bring it up when he is calm. He will respond that you cannot offend me and choose how I will respond. Na there I leave am, I won't even apologize.
When a man's ego overshadow his sense of reasoning.
ReplyDeleteHahaha hahaha 🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteStella, which one be "apology entitlement mentality"? Those guys in the above are just immature. How does an adult acts like a child? I don't like people who can't communicate. Damn! It's irksome.
Posters, may God settle all.
***above story.
DeleteThings like this can be so annoying and draining.
ReplyDeleteWhy get married when you're not grown and still want to be pampered like you're a 3 year old baby? Both of you should eep minding your businesses like it doesn't bother you, though this is very hard to do but try. I hate things like this, honestly.
Some people are not ready for marriage neither do they understand what it means to be married 😩
ReplyDeleteAs an introvert, the silent treatment from my husband is my hallelujah moment. He noticed that I'm always happier when he's giving me me the cold shoulder, nobody told him to change. He calls me the witch of endor.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteYou cracked me real hard
DeleteThe most complex B
Lol 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteWahalurrrr 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Delete🤣🤣🤣
DeletePoster 1 you should ignore your husband with this his attitude else he will continue. Start forming you don't care about that his attitude. Make fake calls while laughing 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 😂 out loud like he is nit important. Oga will change very soon.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 you need to also return same cold shoulder to your husband so that you will make him to feel his attitude. Ignore him the same way he is waiting for you to apologise do same thing.
If you continue apologising now that is how you will continue apologising till forever. You need to treat this shirt before it get out of hands.
He is manipulative and trying to break you, this is selfishness and emotional abuse
DeleteGive him the mirror treatment last last he go dey alright...
ReplyDeleteWhen I got married, if my husband is upset about something, he would give me the silent treatment. I would go and apologize and beg him to communicate next time instead of keeping malice. But he continued. Me sef I started keeping face ooo. He got tired after like 3 days and came to start talking to me. Since then he has never tried it again. Use my method. It works
ReplyDeletePoster 2.. I used to be like that too. I have been married 15 years now. Truth is if he s a good man, he ll change after a while, perhaps when the kids come. My wife would apologise and i d still carry my big head and be acting like what I dont know. But to God be the glory the nonsense stopped after 5 years. But I honestly think my wife had a role to play in it and it wasnt the mirror effect
ReplyDeleteThe mirror tit for tat doesn't work for some men. It even drives the wicked ones out.
DeleteYour wife's method works with most men. Some women just carry on being who they are. When the man gets tired, he comes out of his sulking mood. With time, he learns or indulge himself in it as anger or disappointment management method without expecting any responses from his wife.
Tip: as a woman, of you know you did wrong, apologize well and leave it. If the man sulks after your apology; don't repeat apology, it aggravates some men; let him be or sulk, but don't do the introvert dance of freedom while he is at it. With time, most men get better at marriage as most women do to.
Almost all marriages have their unique teething issues. Fire for fire solves none.
These two husbands were made from same material.
ReplyDeleteMy advice to both ladies?
Bone him back.
Act like you never cared.
Get busy, like Stella said, don't make mistake amd get pregnant.
You guys are supposed to be in honeymoon stage and then this rubbish is coming up.
Dem no deserve joy too
Spoilt little brats called alpha males, tueeh!!
ReplyDeleteDante’s so-called kings.
DeleteI think its so immature to give someone the silent treatment. It's also immature to mirror that behavior. Do you all know how hard it is to give someone the silent treatment when that's not how you naturally operate? It's mentally and emotionally draining. I married a man who would do this. After a while, the resentment sets in, you're walking on eggshells, and the environment becomes so toxic. Awful. Ppl need to be more emotionally intelligent and learn to communicate better. It's one thing to take an hour or two to calm down and gather your thoughts. It's completely different to ignore someone excessively. All shades of wrong. Poster 1, I'd suggest counseling but someone who thinks it's normal and acceptable to do silent treatment might not be open to professional help. Try and see what happens because this won't end. Definitely take Stella's advice about delaying pregnancy.
ReplyDelete