STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
FAMILY WITH ENTITLEMENT MENTALITY
My 2 elder sisters know how to emotionally blackmail me. when I stand up for myself, they give me the silent treatment and ignore me. I stay with my immediate elder sister and have been very supportive of her and her family since 2008 when I came to Lagos. If there’s something we can come together as a family to do together, they give me the highest lot to bear and I mustn’t complain or oppose their judgement.
Don’t get me wrong, I will do anything within my means for my family and loved ones but the way and manner they go about it hurts. On Monday my sister came back, informed me that it would be good if my sister goes to Italy for Masters on scholarship that it would cost 4million inclusive of flight and all. Next day she started following up to get her transcript ready that I’m not acting. I called someone to help process it as her school is in the north.
Payment time I informed her and she told me it is my sole responsibility.
I told her we will call a family meeting and do it together which she objected to and told me I must do it alone. I earn around 500K monthly after fueling my car and monthly maintenance I try to save 150-200k. I plan for such huge expenses.
I deny myself most not all things just to be there for my family and friends. My siblings are doing well too but because I’m not married, I have to take up things.
I overheard my brother inlaw (Eldest sister’s husband) telling my mum to collect all she can collect from me now before I get married that once I get married my generosity will extend to my in-laws. My Dad passed away 3 years ago. My mum called me last Month that she will be hosting her church association sometime in April/May. I told her to share her budget so I can keep my support ready by then.
My mum works and collects rent and can comfortably do this but I don’t mind footing 50-70% of the cost. Next day my mum called and said that she will change the curtains, chairs, her car etc ahhhh I was like why? She said we are yet to change all these things since my Dad passed, True we change these things every 3years but they are in good condition and daddy is no more. When I probed further it was my eldest sister that’s pushing her. She (1st child) has not called me since January nor returned my calls till date.
My family knows I will do anything for them but I’m burning out. I have not had savings since my dad passed because anything that is expensive everyone points to me by force. 4million for my baby sister, my brother wants to start his own business this year, I will carry 50% of the seed fund for him, My mum wants her car changed etc. I am tired. My elder sisters are treating me like a selfish and wicked being but they don’t want to hear my own explanation. They know how much I earn but their maths will never align if it comes to me. I am looking for a more paying job but is this how my life will continue? My sincere apologies for the typo errors please my eyes are too cloudy to edit.
Thank you and God bless you..
Thank you and God bless you..
WHAT!!!!!.... This isnt a family, these are scavengers!!!.....You see why i am against revealing how much one earns to family members?Please look for a way to tell them your salary was reduced to a 100k and that you are looking for a new Job.......... Stop letting them use you and stop bringing out, tell them you dont have to give and even beg them to give you, you will see their true color when you ask them for money.....Dont let this continue, it is bad investment and the way they have treated you show that there are ungrateful and dont care about you...No one will suffer cos you seem to be from a well to do family.
Dont continue to tolerate this behaviour please!
If you will do anything for them, why complaining? Should we go to them and reprimand them on the way they go about it? You are not ready to be sensible, that's all see. Quit whining and take charge of your life... its either you stop funding them or continue while they trample on you. You are like a malfunctioning ATM to them, steady dispensing with or without network.
ReplyDeletePoster, it is now that you are not married that you should invest in things that will sustain you if you lose your job and even during your marriage. Go and get a plot of land and build something on it, even if it's a bungalow or a couple of 1 bed apartments for rental. Not having a goal of your own will make it easy for them to keep manipulating you to spend money on things that are not necessary. Why should curtains, chairs, and cars be changed every 3 years if they are still usable? It shows the amount of waste even when your dad was alive. From your family to your in-laws, they are all wicked and do not have your best interest at heart. If your mother cannot sponsor her party, let her skip it abeg. If your mother and all the siblings cannot sponsor your sister, let her look for a job with her first degree and save for her masters. Go and rent your own accomodation. Being in your sister's house will make it easy for them to always guilt trip you especially if your sister starts giving you a cold shoulder. I was once in your shoes, being asked to sponsor even things I would not inherit such as land etc, and moving into a service apartment in Lekki, travelling the world and just being independent remains one of the best phases of my life. You should save at least 400k per month. If you are not paying rent and can only save 150k, you need to manage your finances better.
DeleteStay there and be typing thesis. Cut them off if you know what is good for you. Do you need a soothsayer to tell you that your mum and siblings are trying to ruin you.
DeleteThis is 2024. No gree for anybody.
Yes, they are trying to ruin you
DeleteRUN FROM THEM
Liability and counting pocket of person "family"
Drainers
Christmas is OVER
CUT. THEM. OFF
Madam , stop explaining. You have a saviour or messiah complex, it has made you a foil for people who keep thinking of new ways to overburden with unnecessary WANTS AND WORTHLESS WASTEFULNESS
While reading it what came to my mind is that this girl is a MUGU . All she complained about are stupid things that can be avoided.
DeleteThe most complex B
Poster if you like kill yourself over the ingrates you call family members, na you sabi. These ones don't love you one bit, and will not even cry beyond a day if you pass on today.
DeleteWake the fcuk up from your slumber!!
I am so so disappointed in your mum, if your siblings and their spouses are moving mad, should she also be in support of their antics? God abeg, some mothers sha, how can you want to kill your daughter with unnecessary burden fgs??
This chronicle dey vex me.
Poster move out of that house ASAP and face front, get your life together oh, you're on your own.
Nne, you have a soft heart but you can't continue like this if you want to stand. All save well when not married and invest well too. You have to harden your heart...not like Pharoah o. In a way that will favour you. Imagine what your brother in law was saying? People that should be giving you, Na them dey collect the little one you have. Hahan! Be wise dear, if you can get an affordable apartment, I will advise you leave your sister's place with good excuse because that's how they'll be monitoring you.
DeleteFamily?
DeleteAs in family of parasites or what?
Were you deprived of love growing up that you would consider this as family???
Hmmm, thank God no be me sha.
Me wey bomb dey various sections of my head.
Your siblings are doing well, but because you are not married, you have to take things up. Who said that crap???? My dear, put yourself FIRST.
ReplyDeleteIf you loose your job tomorrow now,trust me they will all avoid you like plaque and mock you that you don't have savings and all those you have helped wont remember anything then you will cry yourself out. Take a 1 week leave from work and tell them at home you have been suspended without paying, when you resume tell them your salary has been slashed to 150k then see what will happen. Be prepared to leave that house you are
DeleteMadam quietly move away and work on why you are so manipulatable. You cannot marry with this weakness and foolishness still in you. Introspection away from uncaring selfish vultures is important, turn off the tap to envious users (your siblings and yes your mother)
DeleteLOCK UP, inform non of your plans
Self Love my dear. A banker died sometimes ago cos of financial pressure from family. Look for accommodation and move out of your sister house and learn to please yourself first. Be selfish for once and learn to say no. Stop telling them about your financial capability. If you loose your job today you will discover no one really cares. And please don't be foolish to give your life savings to a man also oo because your family also capitalizing on your weakness.
DeleteReading this alone is mentally draining. Tell them you have lost your job, if you're not staying with any of them. You let them into how much you earn
ReplyDeleteExactly! You shouldn't have disclosed your salary. Did any of them tell you how much they earn? Or what their husbands give them?
DeleteNa you go tell them how much you Dey earn na. Anyway! It’s either you move out, stay on your own, or pretend you have lost your job. Omo I don’t even know what to say.
ReplyDeletePoster pls move out asap,wetin be this?
DeletePut God first,use her head and be wise,you be "Darosha"??? Pls wake up from your slumber and let them smell the coffee plssssss,haba!
The day I heard my married-entitled brother say, what am I using my money for? That I am not yet married and I don't have responsibilities, that was when I got really upset and decided to avoid him.
ReplyDeleteHe married a lady who was still in school and he was supporting her and she went ahead and brought her two sisters to live with him.
I was helping but he was never satisfied.
You can tell they don't even want or expect you to have savings or investments simply because you are single. Like it is a crime and if you need help they won't be there to assist you, yet they won't want you to be self-reliant and have your own money to fall back upon. They expect to pack all your money and give them. Just because I am single doesn't mean I shouldn't plan ahead for my future.
Poster, how can you be saving just 150 out of 500k? Only give what you can afford.
They are wicked people, household wickedness
DeleteThese people are wicked they’re not treating you like family
ReplyDeleteYou better be wise while holding on to God. I cannot believe they’re actually your blood and your mother isn’t helping matters isn’t she supposed to be a home maker ? How can she be here and her family is falling apart due to wickedness .
As in ehen, I can't also believe they are family... and their mother na wa.
DeletePoster please put yourself first, you can't please everyone.
Some mothers ehn....hmm
DeleteShey na your sisters send you to school or your papa?Even if its your sisters that sent you to school, do they have to milk you dry?
ReplyDeleteDon't stay in her house anymore ,rent a house for yourself. Call your mum and tell her with all seriousness that you are broke ,have no savings and should call her children to order.
Whatever you can do for your younger siblings you should continue to do.
Younger siblings
DeletePay ONLY what you can COMFORTABLY AFFORD for madam Italy
Business brother, do the same as madam Italy
acidic relatives
Acidic relatives indeed!
DeleteBetter find a way to remove those demands otherwise once you refused after marriage you will cause enmity and once your own children started growing your family will still fight you that you are not doing anything for them;even your husband must be loaded otherwise these your siblings will tear him to pieces .Better fight the fight now otherwise it will be difficult to fight later
ReplyDeleteThese ones go gree her marry?
Delete@17:42, thank you.
DeleteThats how a man I heard of kept bringing ladies he wanted to marry, but his sisters had one excuse or the other to give. Not one not two, after the third one, he didn't tell them anything. He realized they didn't want him to settle down as he was paying school fees for his nieces and nephew.
He just got a girl pregnant and that's how they started fighting that one. She had come to stop their welfare.
People are simply wicked and selfish when they think only of themselves.
Say no. And it's time to love yourself. Its your money. You are rhe one working for it .
Poster's husband must be strong or 6times richer than her. If not...
DeleteWhy did you let them know your take home? Why? Out of excitement you did it now it’s a bone stuck in your neck. Please you don’t owe anyone anything. If you still stay with your sister, it’s time you move out and get a selfcon. Live small within that space. Little no furnitures except bed. Even tv, you can don without and watch all your watching son laptop or phone. Start putting money together to go to Italy and further and furtherables 😁 you too deserve to live and enjoy your money.
ReplyDeleteEveryone can take care of themselves when shove comes to push. They won’t remember you in your downtime take it from someone who has been there. They will face front and treat you with disdain and excuses including your mum.
Look out for you ONLY. As for your brother in law, he doesn’t have sense. He only showed your mum that he and his family are living off your sister, her daughter.
Steer clear of them all.
Agreed, poster learn to say no to people who don't wish you well
DeletePoster it's time to start complaining . Always complain to your siblings/mum of being broke. Beg them for loan once in a while.
ReplyDeleteYou need to wake up. It is not too late to face your life. Single ladies have woken up to the game. Don't be left behind. Ladies around the world are buying estates, building mansions doing great investment because no one can predict tomorrow. Imagine if you lose that job what will become of you. Those you suffered for will not be 50% there for you. When you remind them of what you did for them in the past. They will look into your eyes and ask you to calculate how much you spent on them so that they will refund it or deny of ever getting favor from you.
Every family responsibility should be shared amongst you. It's ok if you wish to take a bigger portion but don't be forming chair lady. As per your mum, ignore her for a while.
If you Like kill yourself for your family
ReplyDeleteFirst of all why are you living with family when you can comfortably have your own space?
My dear once in a while block your family members for your sanity sake. lol
My family wanted to force me to remain in an horrible marriage because of the shame, i blocked them all and face front. They have no choice to look for me, now everyone is proud to have a strong independent sister who can care for herself and kids they even visit and spend holidays with me cos i will cruise them, they drag my kids for holidays.
MOVE OUT AND BLOCK THEM ALL INCLUDING YOUR MOTHER ESP THAT YOUR SHAMELESS BROTHER INLAW. Lmao
You dont need to lie to avoid been stingy the money is your sweat, you work hard for it and have the right to use it as you want.
So pissed here
Very shameless and wicked brother-in-law!
DeleteThank you Makason. Imagine denying herself of many good things just to please wicked family members. Poster, the day you lose that job naim you go know the kin family you get. They don't want your progress, period!
DeleteThis is arrant nonsense!!! I like scratch that I love to carry family for head but ehn not when you folks have labelled me Stupid... In summary simply contribute whatever you know is convenient for you and pick thy calls no more!
ReplyDeleteYou are human, no carry family for head . Support otherwise ungrateful usage and entitlement sets in
DeleteSee the vultures coming up with ways to drain, because you are a fool that forbids savings and proper investment. Better ask GOD to break the manipulation on your head and life .
It’s not because you’re single
ReplyDeleteGet married now they’ll find another reason it should be you paying
For my mother they have concluded her husband is rich and she should get money from him for them
There’s always a reason
The reason you’re doing it because you don’t want to answer bad name but where is all this leading
Get a good financial plsnner and direct any savings you have to treasury bills. They are 21.4% this latest round
Dear poster, its time to ghost your family including your Mum and be serious about it. Move out of your sisters house if you are still there.. Look for a small place you can afford to stay alone before they will bring more burdens for you.
ReplyDeleteThey day you need them, pls be sure they won't be there for you. You can take this to the bank.
You have helped eenough. Draw the boundaries and stop allowing them manipulate and make you feel bad. They are the selfish and self centered ones.
Its your money, and you decide how to use it.
Your family members are being abusive and have taken you for granted.
Its in your hands to reset their brains.
Selfish lot.
Ghost them ALL
DeleteMove out without a soul knowing, when you move say you need to learn to live on your own
I just thank God my children are not like this , despite the fact that they are still struggling they always supporting each other. But in my own case I have similar experience with my siblings when things were still going well for me. Poster pls move out and then block them for your sanity sake.
ReplyDeleteSo someone came up with an idea of advancing their education and do not have one penny to help their way, tf. Then if they are like this and you are not rich how would they have been if you were actually wealthy. No, it is not your sole responsibility to fund your sister’s education. If she lacks the ability to fund herself then everyone pool their money, including your mother and help her. Many ppl have received employee funded master’s, and there are still jobs that will fund them, especially in higher education. When you do not come from a rich family you look for all avenues to fund your education, including working and saving. Have you even seen the acceptance letter, and the details of this program? Is it even an accredited institution or a diploma mill/scam. Before you hand over a penny demand to see the details and do your own research.
ReplyDeleteDo not overextend yourself beyond your capabilities. If they want to not talk to you then so be it. Staying with your sister is what is leading to all of this. They obviously know your salary somehow and expect that your money is extra money to support them all. Is there a way for you to move out and go rent your own place, or for you to buy a property or land of your own? Start investing in your future. Help others to a lesser degree and invest in your own future, the younger you start the better, you do not have to wait until you are married to start this.. Look to secure a home of your own and your peace will start from there.
Poster you don't have boundaries that is why you are being exploited by entitled mean people , you want to buy their love so that they can like you abi or so you feel like the saviour of the family? Long hiss, you are a fool , they still dont like you and if you dont have any income coming in,you will be a disrespectfully treated and disdain talked to. They do not like you, you cannot force , but you must like yourself Why are you such a weak person and people pleaser? They manipulate and disrespectfully use you through groundless guilt. Donkey of the family, that is the role assigned to you, it is envy,to punish you for doing well and drain you into poverty. Why are you bothered by who is not talking to you? So you want to show you have no.self respect and beg for their approval
DeleteDear Poster, You actually enabled them by allowing them know how well to do your are. Besides, One question on my mind is, why are you living with your sister? For a person with such earnings, you can afford your own rental space in Lagos. The earlier you smell the coffee, the better for you, cos you can never satisfy them. Move out fast and CUT OFF!.
ReplyDeleteYou mean you live with your elder sister and her family abi na me no read am well? First mistake. You need to get your own apartment as early as yesterday. Or move to another one that you won't share the address. Ignore their calls for the next 3 months and don't share your address with any of them.
ReplyDeleteAfter 3 months, call your mom and ask how she's doing just to hear her voice. Tell her you had a mental breakdown and needed time away from everyone and that you'll call her again soon. Make that another 2 months. Leave instructions at your office that you do not want to talk to or see "certain" people in case they decide to come to your office. None of these people love you and it seems you are the only son. I pity your future wife in advance with family like these.
Something tells me I have wasted time typing all these to you because you do not have the liver to follow through. Your family know it too and they are taking maximum advantage of you. Liberate yourself NOW or "dai" young. Those are the only 2 options on the table and I'd advise you choose LIBERATION.
Emancipate yourself from this financial, mental and emotional slavery. Nobody has your mumu button, na you carry your life remote put for the wrong hand. Collect am back with alacrity.
Poster, this is it! Read amebonawork's comment very well, digest it, and carry it out asap.
DeleteDon't tell your mother mental breakdown anything, it will be used to insult you or put you into trouble in the future. They don't truly care, dey your dey
DeleteI agree with amemonawork but don't say mental breakdowmln. I advise she says she went for a much needed rest or vacation
DeleteAmebonawork, how do you know the poster is male? The way you people assume on this blog eh!!!
DeleteHmm. Poster I was livid on your behalf. As I am I'm having stomach upset due to what you wrote up there.
ReplyDeleteHow can you turn yourself to an unsung hero? Please, save your destiny before 'fanmilik' destroy it. First, leave that leach of a sister's house with her thirsty husband. Is that how he focuses on your family now he's married to your sister?
Nobody will die because you chose to make yourself number one. Is it forbidden that you also put in for your masters? See, it's good to support but not these one that want to useless you. It's pitiful your mom can't protect her child. This time, insist on your elders putting more in the investments. #4,000000, business start up 50% and mom's car and church program all coming this year with you as sponsor? Na was oh. How much is #500000 again that they want to kill you? What if you were earning 6 figures monthly? You will just quench ( God forbid) before time.
Think you first now. Start investing. They're taking advantage of your love for them which is wrong and selfish. Be wise. Are you male or female? Get into meaningful relationship with the opposite sex.
It isn't love
DeletePoster is gullible, pray for deliverance from the spirit of working like an elephant and eating like an ant
If na me, shishi no go even gum both the person going for masters and the one that wants to start business, let everybody be mad together. How much is 500k in this economy? Its not much. As at 2022 when I was in Nigeria, I was earning above that and it was still nothing major in my opinion, not to talk of now that cost of living in Nigeria has over tripled.
Delete3 things to keep secret in life:
ReplyDeleteUr income
Ur love life
Ur next move.
Dear op, you could lie down flat for people to walk on you and some people would still complain, that u r not flat enough. Bone them, try it and see, if you don’t give them, that thing that wants to happen, let it happen. They are manipulating you, u need to wake up.
Very wicked mindset, this entitlement mentality! I repeat you owe nobody nothing, except your spouse and your immediate family ..your parents to an extent, but when they start demanding greedily then you put a stop to it. Family really is way beyond biological, 'cause some biological families are worst than the devil himself. How dare they say because you are single, you should give more? Some even say because some couples have no kids they should give more.Kmt.
ReplyDeleteEven SPOUSE AND ADULT CHILDREN
DeleteDo your best but don't EVER EVER be a matyr
Which kind yeye and manipulative family be this 😔
ReplyDeleteMathew 10:38
DeleteHousehold enemies, spiteful people
Biko, follow Stella's advice. Hide your money in investments and secret savings. You're not being wicked if you do so. Give, but very little. Don't let these people run you down. This is wickedness.
ReplyDeleteI can almost see your heart in this write up, you are good people but it is time to say NO. You need to stand up for yourself, plus this job you have might not be permanent, what other businesses have you set up as back up plan? Establish yourself and then you can confidently help others.
ReplyDeleteAda how's she good? She's only being FOOLISH. How can someone of her family members including her mom be financially OK yet she allowed herself to be carrying the whole financial burden? She's not even investing.
DeleteThe most complex B
Help others WITH LIMIT AND BOUNDARIES
DeleteHelp others WITH LIMIT AND BOUNDARIES
DeleteWith 500k monthly and a car,why are still staying with your sister?The first move of independence is to move away from them so you can have your own privacy and also save.
ReplyDeleteOnly thing I can think of is loneliness. He will need to fight off that loneliness. Or join a community or church function!
DeleteOnce you don't have that is when you'll see their true colour
ReplyDeleteYes your family is very wicked..All of them put together no get your interest at heart..Man up and find your way..4 million is never enough for masters in Italy incluzsive of flight …tell them you’ve been demoted
ReplyDeleteWhy did u even reveal your salary to them??
Poster,
ReplyDeleteYou are paying for:
Rent.
False belief that if a man meets in and marries you from a "family home", he will respect you more.
Security enjoyed by living in a family home.
Nothing is free, even in Freetown.
First step to freedom is to move to your own home.
And maybe you may find it is cheaper staying in the family home.
You won't know until you seek to find out.
Or abi they transfer your siblings income virtue to you? Na question. But it happens, and if no, this your situation is bizarre.
Some families though. Please try to explain yourself to them..sometimes all you need is the proper communication for them to understand.
ReplyDeleteExplain what?
DeleteThe people with their mindset, won't listen to anything.
They don't care about this poster. Won't be surprised if poster was adopted, and doesn't know it.
They have no love for the poster.
The poster is their beast of burden.
Move move move out asap. Get the hell away from your leeches aka Family. Do not communicate with them for a while; for good 6 months. 3 if you can’t take it anymore. Like amebo na work said, only communicate with your mom. They have all lost respect for you.
ReplyDeleteWhile away from all of them, start working on your self esteem, be very aggressive else you won’t move up in life.
Join a gym if possible or morning run and sweat out those frustrations. Running will make you feel emotionally stronger. Let the sun shine on you. Take vitamins. Sleep 7-8 hours as this is important. Anything to boost your serotonin levels. Pray pray pray. Read Bible if you’re a Christian and ask God to fill the void in your heart.
You’ll need your own community besides your family. Build your own strong community, your own tribe. Your own network and support system. Because eventually, your family will be your extended family once you get married. Do NOT get married without doing these things.
Day 1 will be the hardest, week one will be harddd. Heck month 1. But don’t give in, keep going. You’ll start to feel better and adjust. Human being and our minds are powerful and adaptable. But you’ll have to step out of your comfort zone. You’re too darn comfortable!
OR stay where you are and let them continue to leech on you. It’ll be your problem not ours. We can only advise you. Action is what you need.
Ps: they will fight you, they will try to manipulate you, it’s like freeing yourself from bondage. It’ll be challenging but don’t give up. Once you get used to saying NO and set boundaries, you’ll feel damn good about yourself because this is actually a challenge for you and once you accomplish it, you’re good to go.
And oh, call that your younger sister that you don’t have the fund right now or she can take what you have or she can fcuk off!! Imagine the f* uckery and audacity!!! Your own money!! I blame you. Tell your mom you can’t afford that right now. It is not a must to do party! No money but she wan change living room, do party. Omo mennnnnnn. Your family knows you no get self worth that’s why. Goodluck and please update us! ✌🏿
My question is, what do your siblings do for you? Including your mom self. What do they do for you that you’re doing all these ridiculous expenses. Tell that your sister, you ain’t paying shit and remind her to get mad if is she wants to. If she wants to keep malice on top of your money then so be it. She’ll come around and she WILL put a respect on it! On you! 😠 question is, can you do it? They know you’re not bold! Weak man. Smh.
ReplyDeleteThe annoying thing about this chronicle is that after all the advice poster gets here she will still go ahead and do what her family wants her to do. Because the truth is she is the one enabling her family, Because she has a Martyrs complex, she feels the only way she can get her family's love and approval is to sacrifice her wellbeing for their own interest. So unless she frees her self from such psychological impulses she will always continue to sabotage her wellbeing for the good of her family. I know all this because I dated a lady exactly like this poster. for four good years we were together she couldn't achieve anything significant because of the leaches she called family. I tried helping her. so many times I would give her money to get something for herself, her band of useless family members will find away to take it from her. The funny thing is she would always come crying to me how her family responsibility is weighing her down. But the irony is she's is the one who refuses to create a boundary because she feels that if she stops doing things for them then she wouldn't have any value to them and then they will hate her. And that is how people like this poster thinks, but one thing they forget is that humans are inherently selfish. As long as you willing to give they are willing to collect and they don't care if it's to your detriment, so if you don't have the self centeredness to put yourself wellbeing first, that is on you not on them.
ReplyDeleteI feel hurt bringing this memories back because I've never loved anyone else the way I loved her, but letting her go when I did was the right decision for me. I wasn't ready to compromise myself by being entangled with someone who was compulsively carries other people's baggages even when it's detrimental to wellbeing.
Mr Jeff
The annoying thing about this chronicle is that after all the advice poster gets here she will still go ahead and do what her family wants her to do. Because the truth is she is the one enabling her family, Because she has a Martyrs complex, she feels the only way she can get her family's love and approval is to sacrifice her wellbeing for their own interest. So unless she frees her self from such psychological impulses she will always continue to sabotage her wellbeing for the good of her family. I know all this because I dated a lady exactly like this poster. for four good years we were together she couldn't achieve anything significant because of the leaches she called family. I tried helping her. so many times I would give her money to get something for herself, her band of useless family members will find away to take it from her. The funny thing is she would always come crying to me how her family responsibility is weighing her down. But the irony is she's is the one who refuses to create a boundary because she feels that if she stops doing things for them then she wouldn't have any value to them and then they will hate her. And that is how people like this poster thinks, but one thing they forget is that humans are inherently selfish. As long as you willing to give they are willing to collect and they don't care if it's to your detriment, so if you don't have the self centeredness to put yourself wellbeing first, that is on you not on them.
ReplyDeleteI feel hurt bringing this memories back because I've never loved anyone else the way I loved her, but letting her go when I did was the right decision for me. I wasn't ready to compromise myself by being entangled with someone who was compulsively carries other people's baggages even when it's detrimental to wellbeing.
Mr Jeff
Since 2008, you said you have been supporting the family.
ReplyDeleteYou no be small pikin.
Even if you were 10 years old as at 2008 when you said you started supporting your family, by 2024 you should be 26 years old.
You better learn how to open eyes really WIDE when people bring their rubbish to you.
Nigerians are professional bxstrxdds when it comes to taking advantage and draining people. Anywhere they see free food, money, anything free, they scurry there like roaches and rats until they have destroyed it.
You no be small pikin.
That's all I have to say.
Thank you.