Hmmmm....
WRONG OR NOT
Sade and I were friends.
We work in the same organization but in different branches. We were both trusting for marriage and as God will have it, Sade met her hubby and she planned her wedding without involving me.
She invited me but she never gave me a special task for the wedding like a friend would always do.
Immediately, after she got married, she became distant from me for no reason. I believed in my mind that Sade belonged to the school of thought that her single friends should be discarded after marriage.
I stayed on my lane too without forcing the friendship on her again. I no longer need the friendship because I felt bad for being single.
Whenever I post my birthday. Sade will view my WhatsApp status without wishing me.
Now she wants to revive her friendship with me. She called my line but I did not pick up because I was wondering why she wanted to start getting close to me. I did not pick up her call.
My elder sister said I was petty and that I should have picked up her call. Was I wrong to not have picked up her call?
So if you did not pick the call, how do you know that she wanted to revive the friendship? Maybe she wanted to ask you something`?Maybe has realised ghosting you was wrong and wanted to apologise....You should ahve picked the call..
So if you did not pick the call, how do you know that she wanted to revive the friendship? Maybe she wanted to ask you something`?Maybe has realised ghosting you was wrong and wanted to apologise....You should ahve picked the call..
Let me tell you what to do.Call her back and say you did not see the call and as you were going through your call history that you saw it and decided to return the call....Let her talk and then if its not something you can handle, tell her that you would call her back and ghost her....
Working in the same place does not mean you are friends. You saw her as a friend, she saw you as a colleague. Just stay on your lane.
ReplyDeleteYou don't need to lie about missing her call, just don't explain to her why you missed her call, tell her sorry you missed it and proceed to talk with her,
ReplyDeleteNote that returning her call doesn't mean the friendship is back on track, but I really do think you should call her back and chat.
"I no longer need the friendship because I felt bad for being single". - I stopped reading at this point. It's funny how some married folks are praying to be single whilst singles are praying for marriage. Abeg face front if she doesn't count you as a friend anymore there's absolutely no need to feel bad being single - it's a privilege
ReplyDeleteI guess Sade is starting to see shege in her marriage. She got lonely and wants her friends back. She think say it’s easy dealing with some of these our coconut head naija men. Sade think say marriage is easy loll. It is damn harddddd especially after all the euphoria don die down. It takes Gods grace and patience and prayers of course. Marry your friend oooo hmm. It’s very important!
DeleteYou were not wrong in not picking her call, let it stay that way.
ReplyDeleteIf she has an important info, she can drop it for you via watsap chat.
She has shown you who she is, take it.
Don’t go back to being friends with her.
Don’t ever feel bad for being single, it is not a curse or crime.
Sluttychic.
😂😂
DeleteNo Time for fake love
Please take Stella advice and have peace of mind. Dont worry God will connect you to your hubby as soon as excepted.
ReplyDeleteBitter being single ?very funny why not marry yourself then ?am of the view that married has nothing to learn from single friends and you have just confirmed it ,pls don't pick her call even if it is for your good maybe she has a guy for you ,missed him and remain single it is your problem
ReplyDeleteThis comment is harsh and not so kind.
DeleteNo this isn't nice.
I agree
DeleteVery harsh comment from you
DeleteGoke the joke🤣🤣😀. Foolish goat
DeleteHow did you know what she wants to say?
ReplyDeletePoster lives too much in her head! Assumptions every where! At least ger friend invited her to her wedding to come and chop and not stress. Even friendships have season, adjust accordingly. ..doesn't mean bad blood. Your friend no longer being tight with you may not have anything to do with being her being married or you being single. Nigeria is stressful enough
DeleteTake her call and find out why she called. If na me Kristiana, that friendship is gone. I hate fair weather people.
ReplyDeleteDon’t return the call. Do not even bother why she tried calling you.
DeleteSluttychic.
Poster take Stella's advice...call her back to hear what she wants to say first before concluding!!
ReplyDeleteDon’t call her back anything. Nonsense and ingredients. Na today her day break
ReplyDeleteMadam, pick her call or call her back. What if she wanted to introduce you to your future husband 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeletePossibly
DeleteIf she calls you pick her call nah, no biggie. She may even be calling you to inform you of a job opening or business opportunity.
ReplyDeleteSince your conscience is clear towards her, then you should be open-minded for your own peace of mind.
Best wishes.
Assumption is a very deadly killer of good, potentials and destiny. Many destinies have been truncated and marred at the altar of assumption. Before you act or decide, why not give her a chance to say her mind, don't assume she is about to come back, you don't really know why she called.
ReplyDeleteMy dear look b4 you leap. Experience have thought me so much in life. B4 you condemn first of all inquire.
A colleague who later moved to another Ministry did almost same thing to me. We stay on the same street too. She was getting married and did not tell me nor invite me. I later heard from her neighbour who insisted I call to congratulate her. Calling again na, she refused to pick. I called severally and even sent a text, no response. She later moved out of Abuja. After years of satisfying herself, she started calling, chatting. I didn't make the mistake or replying her chats or returning her calls. Make all of us bear our papa name.
ReplyDeleteMtcheewwwwww 🥱🥱🥱
ReplyDeleteKings, in all you do, avoid women like this. Can you imagine her mindset? Please Avoid!!!
ReplyDeleteDibia Alphonsus
😂🤣🤣😂
DeleteYou didn't pick her call,Is it because that you are still single or that you did not want the friendship again ??
ReplyDeleteYou didn't mention that she did anything bad to you??
She distance herself from you, do you tried to call her as a friend all these while to know what's wrong?
You are making assumptions.
My wife'd number is linked to the Whatsapp on my phone while my phone number is linked to the Whatsappp on the phone that my first son uses.
ReplyDeleteI view many people'status occasIonally without a response or reaction ftom me. My wife is not even aware of updates from her old friends.
I am persuaded by today's chronicoe that a.lot of people are likely to think my wife was a snuub.
Sorry oh, friends and families on Whatsapp, my wife does not view Whatsapp or follow social media. Na me dey use her Whatsapp number on my phne.
I'm sorry for any typo(s) In the comment. e get why.
Na so, assumption is bad.
DeleteCall her first to be sure of what she wants to speak to you about before you run into conclusions. You should also discard this friendship in case she wants you guys to come back.
ReplyDeleteMy wife's number is linked to the Whatsapp on my phone while my phone number is linked to the Whatsappp on the phone that my first son uses.
ReplyDeleteI view many people's status occasIonally without a response or reaction ftom me. My wife is not even aware of updates from her old friends.
I am persuaded by today's chronicle that a.lot of people are likely to think my wife was a snuub.
Sorry oh, friends and families on Whatsapp, my wife does not view Whatsapp status or follow social media. Na me dey use her Whatsapp number on my phone.
I'm sorry for any typo(s) In the comment. e get why.
Don’t return any call. Make everyone answer their papa name.
ReplyDeleteYou are wrong for not picking her call...you don't know if she is in danger and wants someone to save her at that time...Call her back and listen to what she wants to say to you, who knows?,it might be something that will benefit you.......... Josaria
ReplyDeleteShe is wrong ke. If she is in any danger, let her face it alone.
DeletePoster is not under any obligation to take her calls. Let her go with her benefits.
I believe that you were work buddies but not true friends. It is easy to think of a work buddy as a friend because of the long hours we spend at work most of the week. However, I am assuming here because you did not say if you socialized outside of the workplace or knew each other's families..etc.
ReplyDeleteThe shock of rejection is hard, but I do not know any timelines here, how long were you friends? How long was the time period between the wedding and her call to you? If it was years then ignore her, if it was mere months then consider the marriage transition period that newlyweds go through.
A new marriage carries an adjustment period where the couple spends an exorbitant amount of time together to bond as a married couple. Once the couple settles into a groove they will start to go back to their pre married patterns, as they realize that the other person cannot satisfy all their social needs.
Call her back and let her inform you why she called. For all I know she may be calling for money you borrowed or seeking some help with a task. You will never know unless you call back..
Were you there when she borrowed the money?
DeletePeople marry every damn day and they still create time for their friends. But she has time to view status abi?
Two minutes will not stop you from bonding with your spouse.
Abi you be the sade sef 🙄
You are too emotional, ditch that emotion and you'll see nothing will get to you.
ReplyDeleteThis thing happens a lot with female friendships. When they get married, they feel like they don't need their friends. They learn the hard way
ReplyDeletePoster you are right about your assumptions. My best friend of over 13 years did same thing. People look down on you when they feel they are better. I was broke work my best at her wedding like a slave. Flew to her wedding even when i had nothing and after her wedding she stop picking my calls. I was really sad. People are funny. You will give your best and they will discard you when things are good with them. But REMEMBER stay positive God will remember you too. My friend tried to reach me after I got married. I just ignored her.
ReplyDelete