WHEN AN EX IS DATING YOUR FRIEND
I broke up with my boyfriend January2023 because that relationship had so many redflags written all over it according my own judgement. That was a two and half years relationship without s#x. Not that I am a virgin nor celibate, the redflags I thought I saw didn't allow me to, add to the assumption that he could be stingy.
Fast forward to October same year, I got into another relationship with my present boyfriend, and surprised at how easily I gave in to s#x at every urge. Just found out my boyfriend has even worst redflags than I could ever comprehend. It's hurting me that I let my former go for the things I now realised I could even endure and tolerate because my present boyfriend has shown me shege banza. Yes he has a good job and very generous but very very abusive, with no threshold for respect whatsoever.
Fast forward to October same year, I got into another relationship with my present boyfriend, and surprised at how easily I gave in to s#x at every urge. Just found out my boyfriend has even worst redflags than I could ever comprehend. It's hurting me that I let my former go for the things I now realised I could even endure and tolerate because my present boyfriend has shown me shege banza. Yes he has a good job and very generous but very very abusive, with no threshold for respect whatsoever.
He has a short fuse.
I want to break up with him but first need to know if my ex was still single only to find out he is in a relationship with one of my friend.
I want to break up with him but first need to know if my ex was still single only to find out he is in a relationship with one of my friend.
Little wonder this particular friend has become the subject of discuss in the our group chat for all the good reasons. To be fair to him, he never knew this friend of mine but I did talk about her to him without mentioning names nor giving any details. On the other hand I told my friend a lot about him with a few details.
I confronted him and he said they meet online and started dating. And he loves her and her son, she is everything I wasn't besides she makes him happy and gives him peace of mind. That unlike me she is not egoistic. Even though he knows the dirt I have shared about this my friend in the past, and getting to know her in person now that she is a different individual compared to the character I had regularly talked about in the past.
I confronted him and he said they meet online and started dating. And he loves her and her son, she is everything I wasn't besides she makes him happy and gives him peace of mind. That unlike me she is not egoistic. Even though he knows the dirt I have shared about this my friend in the past, and getting to know her in person now that she is a different individual compared to the character I had regularly talked about in the past.
That she is very mature and understands him better. Just that life had been hard on her and pushed her into so many things to in other to survive, but beyond that she is a very humble, good and nice person.
I have been angry and bitter since last week at everything and everybody, even though I need not be. I felt betrayed anyways by my friend. It all made sense to me now, why she always praise my ex while we are still dating every time I complained about him to her.
She has since apologised, but I am pissed, sad and mad. No wonder her dress sense has improved. So what happened to the redflags I did complained about? - She says they are who he is and she's okay with him that way. She had always been anyways.
Gosh.
I have been angry and bitter since last week at everything and everybody, even though I need not be. I felt betrayed anyways by my friend. It all made sense to me now, why she always praise my ex while we are still dating every time I complained about him to her.
She has since apologised, but I am pissed, sad and mad. No wonder her dress sense has improved. So what happened to the redflags I did complained about? - She says they are who he is and she's okay with him that way. She had always been anyways.
Gosh.
Your friend didnt snatch him from you and she didnt date him when you were dating him...She probably reached out to him after you broke up with him.....You feel hurt cos she may have used the info you gave her to look for him...
I know that feeling but please let it go ok? you will find love......
tame your jealousy and move on...
If it hurts too much then snatch him from her..lol
Kai! You sound jealous. What's with the "no wonder her dress sense has improved". Allow your ex focus on his new relationship, and the one that makes him happy, despite the dirt you have shared about this your friend.
ReplyDeleteAre there any in/house App developers? I have a business proposition for you. Kindly drop your details
DeleteShe is high key Jealous.
DeletePoster move on from both your ex and present, before this bitterness eats you up.
Count your loss for being a poor judge of character and plan to do better in your next relationship, you sound like a bad girlfriend honestly.
Hi anon 19:45, I can deliver excellently on the app development. Kindly reach me on tbtechhub1@gmail.com
DeleteHonestly,you're not a good person or friend. You bad mouthed your so called friend,to your boyfriend,to what end? Please move on,from both of them and pray to God,to forgive you and give you,your man.
ReplyDeleteAs in ehn.. the poster is a perfect definition of frenemy.
DeleteI can nevee be found "bad mouthing" my friend to my man for any reason/s.
DeletePoster you're simply not a good friend. Just move on, yours will find you.
She tot She had mouthed her gf but was selling her yo her ex cos those things made thr guy have interest in the lady. She even still mentioned her friend has a son which she doesn't have but felt she is better. My sister if you no get character forget it a baby mama will be pi ked over you that doesn't have any baby.
DeleteShe tot She had mouthed her gf but was selling her yo her ex cos those things made thr guy have interest in the lady. She even still mentioned her friend has a son which she doesn't have but felt she is better. My sister if you no get character forget it a baby mama will be pi ked over you that doesn't have any baby.
DeleteVery bad friend and girlfriend, 2 bad combos.
DeleteMove on baby girl, God will give you your own man.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the best chronicle I ever read here ,am happy for her and him and for your I have no sympathy ,you are a bad person,judging other without judging yourself is the best deceit In life ,work on yourself otherwise the third one maybe the same .
ReplyDeleteDon't follow Stella advice to snatch him from her ,you will chop second breakfast on top of free kpekus that you denied him before because men knows where their heart is. For him to tell you all these goodies when she wasn't there means nothing can change his mind🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteNot virgin, not celibate when with the ex boyfriend.
DeleteAbeg o, wetin dat mean?
She hoard am because the man no get money (framed as being stingy).
Dis world eh.
True
DeleteYou better leave the abusive relationship. Your ex is not the last man on earth. Let it go and wish them well. Use the lessons you have learned to do better in any new relationship in the future!
ReplyDeletePoster , you seem not to know what you want. You seem confused, you want to be going back and forth. Serious relationship is not a child's play dear. Moreso, Why say terrible things about your friend to your boyfriend? you shouldn't have and it is not everything about your relationship you tell to friends. Well your friend didn't snatch your boyfriend, if she even did you were the one that gave room for that, one man's poison, another's food. You saw red flags and left, your friend felt she could manage the red flags, don't feel bitter. Face front and work on your character too. May God bless you with your own husband.
ReplyDeletePlease don't snatch him back. Let it go, You are doubting the red flags you saw before because you can't be alone.
ReplyDeletePlease Don't settle. Use this time to find yourself and love yourself. Be comfortable and at peace been single for now. You will look back and thank yourself. Nothing is permanent, Your current discomfort is temporal.
Wish all parties well. Don't settle!!!
To be honest PO you sound like a bad person. Why did you paint your friend so bad to your ex and you call yourself her friend. You got served and I’m glad your ex found someone better who appreciates him for who he is and is content with all he has to offer.
ReplyDeleteYour friend is even a nice person and very mature for apologizing to you. She doesn’t owe you any apology. Some people just don’t date their friends ex for some reasons but it’s no crime.
Continue searching for the perfect man. You will find soon.
You are evil.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure that your ex was not having much hence the visible red flags.
Shebi this one has money your giving the cookie anyhow.
Aunty carry your greed and go front abeg.
Go and work on your self. Nobody collected anybody from you. You left this person and by chance they met.
So because you complained about him nobody in this life should date him. Forgetting that what you can take is not the same as the other person.
See your mouth like no wonder her dress sense has improved.. So you wanted to be begging for your validation abi.
Bar man one chilled stout for this ex and the friend Abeg. They deserve everything good going on for them
E pain am
Don't mind her even she that has dress sense still chop heartbreak🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteYou refused him sex because he was broke, not because of any principles. And you gave the present one sex immediately because he has money. It's about the money for you. Why not enjoy the money and let your friend manage your ex's "brokeness". Everything is/was a transaction. No genuineness from day one.
DeleteAre you minding the poster, she want the guy to remain single till she bring herself back to him after giving cookies for free to another guy.
DeleteAre you minding the poster, she want the guy to remain single till she bring herself back to him after giving cookies for free to another guy.
Delete😂 funny comment but bitter truth 15:32
DeleteSharp friend. You on the other keep looking for red flags you go tire. Meanwhile your flag dey scatter your own relationship
ReplyDeleteYou left you Ex on your own, leave your friend alone, she did not do anything wrong to you. Just look ahead and probably you will get the 100 percent man you are looking for, but if you want to hear the truth he doesn't exist.
ReplyDeleteYour post is dripping with so much toxicity that I can sense how radio-active you are from my screen. Gaawwd!! YOU! YOU!! YOU!!! Are the problem!
ReplyDeleteI have met your type. Users and abusers that's who your type are. That it didn't even irk you to take your boyfriends issue and share it with your friend and vice versa shows just how far gone you are.
You need to work on you. People don't exist for your use. I hate selfish and conceited people. No one owes you anything Madam Perfectionist. You need to stay away from dating anyone for a while.
OP writes like a BV on this blog.
It's me na. I know 🧐
DeleteYou’re a terrible human being! GTFOH! stay with your abusive boyfriend and suffer! Mtchewww
ReplyDeleteYou moved on and looking back. It doesn't work that way. Keep it moving. No looking back. No turning. No reverse. Keep matching ahead.
ReplyDeleteTake out from relationships and work on yourself poster, move on from attracting wrong men
DeleteMove on poster, don't allow it to weigh you down.
ReplyDeleteYou broke up with the former one because you feel he was stingy with so many red flags, and this your current boyfriend is even worse than the former.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you now regretting, do you really know what you want??
Or do you want to settle for the less because you feel you may not meet any one better than the two??
I think relationship/marriage is kinda hard for some. They may be doing better in all round but when it comes to relationship it becomes a 'hard work' while love is not hard even though is rare .
Your friend has apologize, please move on.Some people will not even apologize.My people will say you gave your dinner to the cat( o gbe ounce ale fun olongbo)
ReplyDeleteMove on,you Will find love again........ Josaria
ReplyDeleteThe people condemning you eould have felt the same
ReplyDeleteDon’t mind
Them
We are all human
You mind is playing tricks on you like you lost something
You didn’t. Move on
Your friend is not good
Looks like the kind to agree with you your man is bad and want him for herself
No Man on earth is perfect and the best of every Man is still a Man !
ReplyDeletepele poster, lock your wounds and pray that the next will be better.
You don't want something you threw it away, another person find it worthy and you are here being jealous what kind of witchcraft is this?? You better breake up with that your abusive boyfriend before it's too late and focus more on yourself.
ReplyDeleteThis poster was thinking because she told her ex that she cannot ope with his red flag that thr poor guy should remain single or die fromnh her rejection. I love the way your guy has moved on fast fast and forget about you. People like you are the ones that feels if you don't date a particular person no one will ever be with them.
ReplyDeleteYou gave out so much information about your ex to your gf and she was in love with his personality. You didn't sit down to work out things with your ex but you only saw his red flag and decided to walk away. Now that your new guy is giving you shege banzai promax you decided to check if the one you damped is still crying over you but when you realised that he has moved on you are feeling hurt 😆 🤣 😂
Your friend did not collect any guy from you, she played her card well when she saw a wounded guy but decided to help him work on his weaknesses rather than tagged him red flags. I am happy both are doing well with each other, just face front and nurse your lost. You have started to see red flags with this new one cos you tot the ex was still single. You better sit down and learn how to make him better. No one is good without someone working on him but don't get killed while at it. If you like continue running your mouth till someone else take this one away from you again.
I like the fact that you are very open and vulnerable in this chronicle and you didn't sugar coat anything but said it as it is, what you are feeling and what you did, and even told us the truth that your friend apologized.
ReplyDeleteTo me, this is the beginning of healing and taking the right decision to let go of both your present relationship and your past mistakes.
Pray to God to step in and take over the wheel of your life. I also urge you to ask for His mercies , forgiveness listen and obey Him.
It's well with you.
For the first time in a long while, the comments on this blog dey gimme joy....God bless you all, if people can speak the truth like this naija for don better na
ReplyDeletePoster
ReplyDeletePray
Thank God the ex no collect money or kpekus from you.
ReplyDeleteLast time like this, the woman was advised here to go collect back her money. The Bv and his new babe (a Bv also) had to pay the money.
Frank chronicle = franker comments.
That's why dodgy chronicles dey plenty. We no like or want to hear the truth. We Just want to vent, gender shame or hear our spouses being abused with expectations that they may read it if they are Bvs too.
(In Rivers State people's voice) Your friend did not snatch your ex from you eeeeeh! She did nothing wrong dating a guy you were not comfortable with eeeeeh! Allow them to enjoy the peace they've found in each other eeeeeh! Soldier go, soldier come , barrack remain.
ReplyDeletePoster, this is not the end of the world. Just pick your lessons and move on, let go of the past and with a positive mind you will find another man. We don't have only two men in the world.
Well done for being honest!
ReplyDeleteIt takes courage to narrate events, feedback received and how you felt despite knowing everything happened after you left your ex. I can see you really want to do right.
1. That feedback from your ex is gold, reflect on it, look back, identify what exactly you were calling red flags and clarify if they're truly red flags. What would you have done differently.
Sometimes it takes another relationship to help us discover what our true values are/were.
2. Make a list of the positives in the ex, the positives in the new guy. Then list the things you dislike and will never compromise on. Let these be your guide when getting into any relationship.
3. Have a sincere discussion with yourself, why do you feel hurt...is it because you felt you made a mistake or it's because he chose your friend (is she better than me?)
4. Is there anything you can learn from your friend...think, observe, though it hurts but there's a reason she became your friend in the first place. I am not saying you should continue the friendship, I am asking you to recall good behaviour modelled before you that can help you going forward.
Don't forget, your friend has a child so her values might be different when it comes to perseverance with men who may not be wealthy/generous.
5. Pray, yes pray for healing. Although you might feel disappointed in your present relationship, pray and work. Earn your respect from him, develope yourself, focus on your growth and if you feel it's not working have the courage to move on knowing that you have done your best.
You know what is best for you, don't allow faceless blog visitors guilt trip you. NO one wants a stingy poor man as spouse if they have options.
PCX
Shit happens. You would be alirght
ReplyDeleteLow quality women attract or gets attracted to low quality men.
ReplyDeleteAfter, they come here to shame the men. They open the door for readers with similar character challenges to project their own problems and to shame all men.
But the Bible is ever true: Can two walk together unless they are agreed? Amos 3 v. 3
Just move on with your life
ReplyDeleteYour own man will come
I have someone like that . She will.badmouth me to everyone that want to get closer to me. Mind you she is just like to anybody including her siblings. Very toxic and also a liar . she could be very nice and also a cheerful giver. Have endure her for so long until my spirit rejected her venom. I do not have options than to warn her to stay clear of me for my sanity sake.
ReplyDeletePoster I know someone like you. You’re not a good person. Any friend that carries her friends to her partner is not good. I stay away from people like you. What is happening to you is karma. Accept it and work hard to change your evil ways
ReplyDelete