Hmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE N50K QUESTION
Please I want to ask how 50k can help a newly pregnant woman survive.
My husband is putting me on 50k salary per month, and it does absolutely nothing for me, I'm a house wife and he's abroad.
I'm not happy with him, and I'm looking for a way to take it up.
Chei, this is so freaking wrong!
Do you know if he has a Job? do you know difficult it is for some abroad? Are you not happy that he is even sending money? Some travelled and cut off their family totally for various reasons.
Instead of encouraging him and thanking God that at least he can send 50k, you are looking for away to take it up with him? Please change yxour mindset and encourage your husband, he may not be having it easy at all...
Dont think because he is abroad, he is having it easy.....
NA WAH OH!!!
Stelllaaaaa 🫣 ahhhhh 50k? In this Nigerian economy? With the high cost of living? Please Ma, find a way to take it up without being rude or a nag. while at it, subtly chip it in that you might need to get a job close to home as it’s a struggle.
ReplyDeleteBut, you didn’t say anything about the other things he covers and what he expects the N50k to cover.
Pray for him and get yourself busy to make money. I hope the abroad na better one
ReplyDelete50k this period for an expectant mum is not much.
ReplyDeleteDon’t fail to let him know how much you appreciate him and his efforts.
Get something to do or learn a skill.
Sluttychic.
You are clearly not financially READY to have another child after this till YOU STABILISE, after this one do strong family planning and work on relocating before having another child
ReplyDelete" You are not happy with him" sounds like an ingrate.
ReplyDeleteIf the money does nothing for you why not you think what to do to add it up. Did you plan with him to be a house wife,?
Even at that you can think other means to make money working from home.
Appreciate that he is even sending you money at all, some of them will travel abroad and ' ghost ' you.
Woman you're ungrateful. Do you know what he does for a living over there? Who made you a housewife? At least you won't say your husband didn't want you to work. He's not with you in the country to stop you from working or doing business. You're just plain lazy. Even if he told you not to work or do business before he left for abroad, common sense should have let you know you need something doing.
ReplyDeleteIf actually you went into that marriage financially ready, you won't be a housewife or crying now. Now I see why it's being advocated for women to have a life going well for them before going into marriage.
When we advise some of you here about what you will bring into marriage, you'll flare up. This is one of its consequences.
I guess your husband takes care of the bills and rent. The 50k is just for your upkeep, only you ooo and you're saying it's not enough. Some single mothers don't see up to that amount monthly, yet they cope very fine.
Abeg be grateful. You can as well save from it and start something little. Pregnancy doesn't stop anyone from doing petty business.
©TEEJAY
Baba you can pass your message without being rude ooooo
DeleteThis is too harsh for a pregnant woman na. ah Ah
DeleteAbeg Poster. You know your husband and capabilities. Pls demand more if u have to which kain hustle you want her to do with pregnancy. If you like be listening to people her who just want to sound good. Demand. More 50k will do nothing for you this period. What about baby stuff. Are u supposed to buy them from the air. Let him hustle. That’s what he went there to do. He is able bodied and alone. Even if he was in Nigeria. He won’t be giving you 50k per month
Be wise and shine your eyes!
Zendaya
@BigBanty, i tire.
DeleteThank you.
Teejay hmmm this is why people don’t like you, you talk too much, you are also so disrespectful..Have you ever been pregnant? It is a bad thing for anybody to talk carelessly…. Please be mindful
DeletePregnancy is not synonymous with laziness and stupidity @Bigbanty. She knew was foolish enough to be broke, planless and pregnant. More women should stop the foolishness then.
Delete@Teejay, this is too harsh, guess someone made you angry before typing that thing 👆? Be grateful for 50k in this present economy, do you think if the man told her he's presently jobless, she will be ranting like this?
DeleteThen you said if the husband had told her not to work before he traveled, since he's no longer here, she should start working, na so e easy to find job, worst still a pregnant woman? How many employers will employ a pregnant woman? 🤨🤨🤨
*Larry was here*
Man: i want you to be a house wife. Don't do anything. I will provide for you.
ReplyDeleteWife : put me on allowance especially that i am pregnant.
Man: i will be sending 50k every month. Manage it.
Desr poster, it is well. If you are not too sick is there a small side business you can do with the 50k do, so ylu can make some additional money?
I know you need money to do so much. God will make a way.
All the best.
Poster if you don’t have kids and you don’t have a job 50k should be enough for you.m, If you have a job then add to that 50k and live how you want.
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
Thank you.
Delete© TEEJAY
Abeg oh Fan! Except her man doesn't really have. I no Dey even give my mama 50k and it is only her. Even when I was doing menial job abroad
DeleteAbeg take it up my dear
ReplyDeleteShow him prices. He might think 50k is enough cause it is was not bad before but now it’s not enough at all
Show him line by line what you buy and how much and also ask him if he really can’t add to it. If he can’t no wahala
We attended to this before few days ago. However, be grateful he is sending 50k
ReplyDeleteWhat can you do for yourself to add to the 50k?
Hmmm 50k every month and you can't manage?
ReplyDeletePls encourage and support your husband by picking up a job or side hustle.
Thank you.
Delete© TEEJAY
God bless you Stella ,madam because he is abroad doesn't mean money grows on trees
ReplyDeleteMadam use d 50k to start petty trade. Minerals and buns or something not stressful. Some people no even see 10k.
ReplyDelete50k......wait are you paying for rent from the money or just ordinary allowance?
ReplyDeleteIf it is my dear sister you no try oooo...no be wetin e suppose reach here at all....unless his salary is about 6 to 7 figures sha
OP, you are pregnant so I'll say it's the hormones kicking in. If not, I'd have said you are mad.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is in another country and you can't see the bigger picture and plan ahead? You think him sending you 50k monthly is the ultimate? That source can be cut off at anytime so what do you do then? And you have a child you'll be taking care of.
Be thankful for what your spouse sends and through gentle communication, let him know that he needs to up it because things are very expensive now.
I don't blame you though. It is your husband that keeps a liability at home that I blame. Stay there madam 'take it up'. You will learn and learn the hard way.
Thank you.
Delete© TEEJAY
Haaaaa .....🤣🤣🤣🤣👍
DeleteWhat are you people even saying? 50k is less than £100 or $100 or €100. Why can’t he Ben send that to her? Is it that he can’t spare up to that for his pregnant wife ?
DeleteI don’t agree oh. She should demand more
MADAM GO AND GET A JOB
ReplyDeleteGO AND WORK ABD GET MONEY THAT WOULD DO SOMETHING FOR YOU
TAKE IT UP TO WHERE PLEASE?
I JUST DAY VEX LIKE THIS NOW.
AND YES I AM SHOUTING
MTCHEWW
You are newly pregnant, that means your husband travelled recently, maybe he's still finding his feet.
ReplyDeleteForgive me ma, but madam u are mad oooo. Madooo. How much be minimum wage . Go and find work if he easy. It not greener outside. How much normal house wife dey even collect. It is well in Nigeria
ReplyDeleteHe’s abroad and you’re his wife.I live abroad and life can be so hard sometimes that all you make goes to bills, but 50k naira per month is very small considering you’re supposed to be his priority.
ReplyDeleteThank you very much! 50k is less than $50. I'm pretty sure he doesn't go grocery shopping for 2weeks with just $50 or £50. Beht poster you didn't tell us which abroad oh, is it Equatorial guinea? Or Greece?
DeleteAppreciate him first,then list out your expenses. Before you got married,how were you surviving? This is 2024,no woman should sit idle,except high risk pregnancy. My 75 years old mum is still trading. Get something to do,no matter,how little. Its about self respect and security.
ReplyDeleteTeejay, why are u running up and down the post?
ReplyDeleteShowing his true self.
Delete50k for your upkeep or house expenses included?
ReplyDeleteYou did not supply enough points to buttress your anger.
If thst 50k is for your personal use, he tried.
N50k is about $35. Hmmm I think that’s too small for a husband to send for the monthly upkeep of his wife and child esp with the rising cost of living. Do you work? You should consider other sources of income to help augment what he sends.
ReplyDeleteYou are a housewife, is that a term that poor person should even use? You are lazy, entitled and hopeless more like it. Single mothers fend for themselves and their children, go and do somethng useful and worthwhile with your life to help support the child you are bringing into this world instead of wasting people's time reading this nonsense chronicle. Rubbish. Take it up to heaven if you like, you are more responsible for yourself and your child than another is. If you feel your husbands effort is not good enough then g a job and support it. What is wrong with some of you women sef ooooo? And yes, I am a woman too. Rubbish indeed.
ReplyDeleteThe entitledness, dear Lord!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd why not?
DeleteThe way people insult and use abusive words in the name of giving counsel is interesting. Not minding that the other side of the coin is a blind spot and you can't see everything.
ReplyDelete"You are Mad" ,
"You are ungrateful"
"Lazy woman"
It is well.
So wrong. The woman is pregnant, why abuse her like that? Someone said 50k is only $35. My grocery bill alone runs about $100/week for a single person, and I am not eating like a queen or shopping high end, this is the cost shopping at low tiered grocery chains. I also do not eat a lot of meat which is the more expensive part of groceries. So, she is not wrong for to think the amount is low. Now, the BV did not clarify if that money is simply for her alone or if it is for household maintenance and to cover the cost of baby preparations. A little clarity would bring things better into perspective. Perhaps she is unaware of his plight, perhaps he is hiding the truth of his condition and he is really suffering or he has to pay back loans he took to travel. Then again he may just be cheap. I hope the truth comes out.
DeleteJapa is not going to work out for everybody, some will find milk and honey others will find sorrows.
Come on gerrout. Keep supporting nonsense. A pregnancy is not an accident. It's 2 adults intentionally having unprotected sex and deciding over the course of months to keep the child, a whole person, that needs a plan. WTF???
DeleteHow do men choose their wives really?. Suddenly instead of marrying a support, the man has to deal with 2 liabilities.
DeleteGod bless you Lady T. People nowadays see other human beings not as people but as acquisitions you either gain from or throw away. No wonder the world's in a hot mess. And they are too blind to see the import of their stinking mindsets. In deed people's hearts are growing cold, till the days it would have become frozen. And how horrible it would get then, God forbid. None of them know the poster or are in her shoes, and because she asked a question, not that she actually committed any crime, she is being abused. She is seen as automatically useless because she is perceived as jobless. Na real wa ooo.
DeleteSometimes pregnancy is 100% accidental and sometimes men intentionally get their woman pregnant as a form of control. Don't act like you do not know what happens in the world. How many men have come home late at night and penetrated their sleeping wives? Many. Women do not always get a conscious say at all times because s3x happens in all kind of ways. And yes, controlling men will deliberately get their woman pregnant to tie her down or to be assured of fidelity. Even those bright girls with a bright future, a nasty young man will deliberately get her pregnant to ensure her progression stops.
DeleteThis poster has not said anything negative about her husband and I will not cast him in any negative light. Her concern was the funds and it is little, but it may be little for a legitimate reason. She did not mention if she is capable of working or not, she may not be able to work, and I do not know many employers who are employing visibly pregnant women. Y'all acting like all she has to do is walk into a place and she will be employed because she showed up. Fresh, young, energetic graduates can barely find employment, but this pregnant woman is going to miraculously do so. Let's not be delusional.
Chronicles are rarely complete deliberately or in order to protect privacy.
DeleteIf the N50K is for all in all, she would have said so as she remembered to àdd the fact of her pregnancy to elicit desired support for her decision to "take it up".
All financial decisions should be based on earnings not locations, , status or desires
Why get pregnant or/and keep pregnancy when you know all is well with you and even your husband? It's so selfish especially for the child. Again, pregnancy is hardly accidental to have and then keep, there is a reason it doesn't mature overnight. So you think about your decisions over and over again. Madam, go get a job and stop being a liability to yourself. You are not anyone's responsibility. A woman will only keep a pregnancy she wants, its first your prerogative.
Delete@00.46 When does the accident occur? When you are pulling up your skirt, removing your pant or inserting an unprotected penis in your unprotected vagina? Or you never heard of morning after pill?Tah! Even if raped, theres still a long time to decide against staying pregnant. All this time given is for a reason, no?
Delete13:44, I gave a specific example of how an accidental pregnancy could occur. Do not come with your constipated arguments.
DeleteIt is nobody’s place to tell another whether or not to keep a pregnancy. A child is the truest form of prosperity for a couple, it is their real legacy. A pregnancy is not just a pimple you get to pop and forget about. And let us stay on topic. The BV did not send in a chronicle around her pregnancy or state of it. She asked about the 50k her husband is sending which is the equivalent of $35 USD, a paltry sum. We have all established that there may be legitimate reasons why he is only able to send that amount, and she needs to dig a little deeper to see how things are going for him. We also established that there are many details missing in her story which limits the quality of advice that could be provided. Let us be fair in our assessments and not simply swing on the tides of emotions.
This chronicle no complete. You did not provide enough information to enable us chook mouth well. Did he just travel? Does he have a job yet? Are there plans in the pipeline for you to join him soonest that's making him save aggressively? Who pays your rent in Nigeria? What do you do for a living? What were you doing and how much were you earning before he married you? You see am say the questions plenty no be small.
ReplyDeleteIf to say na man wey don dey abroad for up to a year and he don get regular job, I for talk say he dey carry you play. 50k tinubu naira for what kwanu? Is it for antenatal, rice, electricity bill, to fill gas, fuel gen, make your hair, buy small small baby things or what? Abeg if abroad no favour am, make he go back Naija go hustle. Because even if you too are earning and contributing additional 50k to make it 100k per month, after monthly expenses, how much go remain to save towards baby wey dey come? This baby go use diaper, chop formula, wear cloth etc. These things cost crazy money now. Tell am make he check prices online. Biko, talk to him "calmly and politely" to understand what is really happening with him over there first.
However, if you already know say na woman carry am go (as per say he marry citizen to move), then you sef know say he no go fit dey send you better money without his madam's knowledge. You know as the level dey go so you can't complain. You know before you put head.
Poster, kindly answer these salient questions.
DeleteI bought a box of 100 pampers for my niece the other day, it was almost $40. I hope she has the option to buy locally made diapers cause diapers ain't cheap. Buy local made cause imported is going to eat up the little. Cloth diapers are still there for those willing to wash everyday and who have access to steady and safe water. Someone I know here in the abroad was facing some tough times and had to go back to cloth diapers for a bit.
DeleteYou should discuss it with him to see if he can increase the money but nor starting a fight. Things are not easy at all for alot of people, if your husband is sending you 50k monthly just manage it. Some family of 4,5,7 and even above are surviving with such amount of money.
ReplyDeleteBe grateful for the one you can see, what if your husband decides to ignore your needs? Don't worry you too will soon join him over there and then you will understand it.
You can talk to him to start up a business for you so that this 50k will be like additional or you can start up something to support your husband.
Lol...
ReplyDeleteAre you the pregnant anon that insulted me unprovoked the other day?🤷😏
Answer fess make I no wetin to advise you 😌😌
😂. You sha can never understand what it is to be pregnant.
Delete50k in this time and season is well
ReplyDeleteExactly. 50k in this economy is really nothing. Before you say poof it is gone. Forget whatever Teejay is yarning, ndi bring antelope to the table. That she may not have a job doing now, doesn't make her a valueless human being. If her husband is not in dire straits he can actually do better. Discuss it with him poster, except you know he is actually doing badly out there. And poster, you can see how you are being abused because of joblessness. Try to find something doing. Don't worry all will be well.
DeleteAs an aside, I feel there is some sort of conspiracy going on to keep Nigerians generally poor. Most of the hardship being faced is actually artificially induced and due to the avaricious greed of people who care nothing about what the masses are facing, as long as they are making their dough. Don't worry. Una no go carry am go heaven or hell. Mtchew Garri now 1400 a congo? Mtcheeew
Na wa for this your blue pen ooo, 50k in this naija economy. It is well
ReplyDelete50k is too small for her and the baby please!
ReplyDelete50k in this economy is not much, but still appreciate him and look for something to do to support him, he might not be doing very well over there.
ReplyDeleteSome comments here is not nice at and most comes from women. Some comments like " why did she get pregnant when she is not ready" or "she is llazy ". Some of us are careless talker , most of the comments here can send her to depression. She is pregnant now and their nothing we can do about it . We don't know her her situation and her condition, pls let's advised her gently.
ReplyDeleteShe can get a job or side hustle. The data she is using to complain about money she is being routinely gifted can be used towards getting a payable skill. That is something she can still do about it. Being pregnant doesn't make her less an adult or a responsible one at that.
DeleteTake it up to where please? Where is up???LOL for another person money wey dem dash you oooo
ReplyDeleteStella na wa ohhh!! Can he live on 50k a month? What is she suppose to use and buy diaper? Even if she's working, she just had a baby and not everyone gets paid while on maternity leave. 50k is less than $50. If abroad isn't working for him, he should come back let them suffer together. SDK if you like use my comment and soak garri.
ReplyDeleteThis comment is too wrong is it because he lives abroad ?what of those that lives in nigeria that dont gives no more to their pregnant wife
ReplyDeleteHmmm🤔Poster congrats on your pregnancy.
ReplyDelete1. What is the minimum wage in Nigeria?not Lekki or Lagos or Instagram. 200 million 🇳🇬s
2. What is the median household income?
3. My hairdresser says they have a saying in Sierra Leone that “🇺🇸 is 15 miles from paradise” yet she works 15 hour days, pays so much taxes & city bills, she barely gets by but demands keep popping up. How do those earning N600k per annum get by, families! Can you buy Terry diapers? If he is housing you & this is just for upkeep can you manage braids instead of wig, & do without some luxuries? I remember cutting my hair in front of a mirror myself 25 years ago when I got here & was told relaxer was $50! I was my children & DH barber while we took all our exams before we settled. I did my 1st pedicure 5 years after getting here, after we bought our 1st McMansion, something I did every 2 weeks in Naija! I know many “I gotta do my hair” folks that never moved up!
4. Does he earn min. wage here (if it’s the US), He does if he is an unskilled immigrant & maybe on $12-14hr or so. Before you calculate, they are paid hourly & may not even be allowed to get 40 hrs work per week making life harder for them. If you are not yet board certified in Healthcare, not in STEM, if you are illegal under the table, not a tenured Academic, or own your African grocery store, you may just be getting by. MANY barely have $100 left AFTER paying bills; rent, electricity, gas, phone, transport, taxes, in $ not Naira etc. Even for those of us fortunate to be in high paying jobs, your take home is about 60-70% of your salary as they deduct SS, Medicare, state, local, federal taxes etc. It is from that after tax income that you send to 🇳🇬, to those who have no idea of life here, $35 after tax is roughly $59 pretax salary for my tax bracket.
5. Is he still paying immigration? Work permits cost a lot. Grocery bill is through the roof! Milk & Orange juice was less than $2/the gallon 15 years ago, it’s about $4.50 now! We eat yam twice a month as it gets spoilt if not sliced & frozen but it’s about $12/tuber while my car cost $75 per week to fill.
My advice: If you are in the early stages of pregnancy, find a caregiving, babysitting, concierge errand running gig or housekeeping job with an affluent family that won’t stress you to add to the N600k/year allowance. Even if you are able to do so for just 4 months, you will get some exercise while making some money. I worked as a professional with multiple birth pregnancy until 34 weeks! This chronicle here depicts why many YouTube videos are on not sending money to Africa, Asia, Mexico etc by younger folks who feel recipients act entitled. If he is in the US, he may be going through a lot. One time, I was ill, not able to work for one year yet my siblings treated me like an ATM, even the ones that did not have to. I was on admission at some point, had surgery another time & was home for weeks, yet all they seemed to care about was $ to send. It’s a love killer. I have no emotional connection to them again after the financial abuse. Yes, what many diaspora folks go through is the textbook definition of financial abuse! I gave $ when it was still 1:100, paid school fees, opened businesses for folks over decades but the day I said I was getting older & they should give me a break, enmity started! If you carry someone for 50 years the day you stop, it’s like you never did for entitled folks. Don’t kill his affection for you by acting entitled as if he is an ATM but find a way to make money for a few months, till you show that you care & love him first by asking how he is. We miss that with those we thought loved us as they see us as $ after some time but we pay our bills in $ not naira! For now, instead of desiring blouse/wrapper that needs 6 yards, sew a cute dress with 2 yards. Afterall minimum wage in Nigeria is lower than what he is sending & it’s temporary depending on how you handle things.