Hmmmm....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
REGRETS
Hello Stella,
I no longer have the will to live and everyday, I look forward to the day I will die.
I had an abortion August of last year and my life hasn't been the same since then. I'll prefer not to go into the details but it's the worst thing I've ever done.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was confused because I couldn't even remember having unprotected sex and I had only had sex twice in the last 3 years as I try my best to abstain.
After the initial confusion, I became excited and told a few people. I was so happy because I prayed for it but didn't think it could happen since I was single. I had a fantastic job and was living very well. Had my life together and this was just all I needed to say I had it all. I had names picked it, started prepping my sis and mum's visa to come join me, . However, there was pressure to have an abortion and I don't know how, but I gave in and did it.
My life has turned upside down since then. There's guilt, there's a feeling of a great loss, a shade of sadness I never knew existed. I am perpetually miserable and feel like I'm going mad sometimes. Some days, I can't even get out of bed. I lost my very good job 4 months after, maybe because I was always absent minded and taking days off without notice. Therapy hasn't helped one bit. I remember now everyday how the counselor I spoke to at the abortion clinic assessed me and told me I was doing it out of pressure and would regret it. She even begged me to go home and come back the next day if I still felt like it, but there were people outside waiting for me and I stupidly gave in.
All I do is cry and ask forgiveness from my baby and God. I failed my innocent baby.i want my baby back. I'm sorry please.
Someone please tell me it will get better. My due date is approaching and I am scared of what it'll be like since its supposed to be the day I should have welcomed my angel . Please help. I don't have anyone I can talk to.
Hello Stella,
I no longer have the will to live and everyday, I look forward to the day I will die.
I had an abortion August of last year and my life hasn't been the same since then. I'll prefer not to go into the details but it's the worst thing I've ever done.
When I found out I was pregnant, I was confused because I couldn't even remember having unprotected sex and I had only had sex twice in the last 3 years as I try my best to abstain.
After the initial confusion, I became excited and told a few people. I was so happy because I prayed for it but didn't think it could happen since I was single. I had a fantastic job and was living very well. Had my life together and this was just all I needed to say I had it all. I had names picked it, started prepping my sis and mum's visa to come join me, . However, there was pressure to have an abortion and I don't know how, but I gave in and did it.
My life has turned upside down since then. There's guilt, there's a feeling of a great loss, a shade of sadness I never knew existed. I am perpetually miserable and feel like I'm going mad sometimes. Some days, I can't even get out of bed. I lost my very good job 4 months after, maybe because I was always absent minded and taking days off without notice. Therapy hasn't helped one bit. I remember now everyday how the counselor I spoke to at the abortion clinic assessed me and told me I was doing it out of pressure and would regret it. She even begged me to go home and come back the next day if I still felt like it, but there were people outside waiting for me and I stupidly gave in.
All I do is cry and ask forgiveness from my baby and God. I failed my innocent baby.i want my baby back. I'm sorry please.
Someone please tell me it will get better. My due date is approaching and I am scared of what it'll be like since its supposed to be the day I should have welcomed my angel . Please help. I don't have anyone I can talk to.
*Who confused you into having an abortion? who were the people waiting for you outside? Who did you sleep with and what is his role in the evacuation?
Why are you feeling bad? You laid down and allowed it happen, meaning you have a strong mind...
They say that sometimes the solution to the problem lies in the problem....Please get pregnant again and have the baby, it will heal you completely.....
I kind of like Stella’s point but u need to heal to carry a baby to term. Being pregnant will also affect your emotions. Some days you will be over the moon while some. You will ask who sent you and fear may creep in
ReplyDeleteCan you try to set mew goals and push yourself to work on it. Get a new hobby or take up a course that takes your time. You will get over it
Also take time to assess the situation and see what you did wrong and pen down the persons learnt Then set boundaries to protect you and your mental health
Rooting for you sis. You gay this🤗🤗
Zendaya
Yes I agree to Stella's advice. Get pregnant again and forget the hurts! That way you heal 💛 my prayers of healing are with you
ReplyDeleteBv Ushang
You think it's a handbag that you can replace, poster it is your type that God loves, people who feel pain after a wrong doing, people who come to the public to call wrong what it is which is wrong not evil minded people that will glorify and minimize sin and end up leading people astray. Now go to God in prayer , ask for forgiveness and ask for your baby's forgiveness, take each day quietly till healing comes but you may not forget, also have it in mind that being rich is not the only thing it takes to raise a baby, babies need 2 parents, do not deliberately deny them the love of being born into a holy union which is marriage. Avoid Fornication and pray for a good partner, God will provide everything when you do your own part of keeping his words. blessings to you
DeleteI love this part of scripture: the spirit of a prophet is subject to the prophet
ReplyDeleteScripture also tells us what to think on
Your mind can’t be blank it will think about something. But you have the power to redirect your thoughts
A smart person said anxiety is living in the past or the future and you need to let go of what could have been so you can enjoy what is. You need to let go of this
It will definitely get better!!!!
ReplyDeletePlease, do not give up on yourself like this, great things are going to happen.
It is normal to feel guilt after getting an abortion, it shows you are remorseful. Ask God for forgiveness and also, forgive yourself.
You need to get back on your feet. Get a job, go to therapy.
As for those people that pressured you into getting the abortion, cut them off.
On your due date, send an update on how you are feeling and we’ll be here with you.
Life has so much to offer. Depression is not part of it.
One thing I’m proud of about me is that no one can make me go against my wish.
Build yourself in a way that you only do what you think is best for you.
You had unprotected s*x with who??
ReplyDeleteWhen you found out you were pregnant, didn't you tell your partner??
Why the pressure to abort the baby, and who and who were behind it??
Is the guilt or should I say it's because you wanted the baby and the pressure that made you did the abortion.
The deed has been done. As you have gone for therapy and the guilt won't let you be.
Ask God for forgiveness, forgive yourself and heal.
Wait, how did you go from being happy expecting a baby to getting convinced to abort the child? There's a missing link somewhere and if you don't find that link, when you get preggy again, you may get convinced or swayed into getting rid of it.
ReplyDeleteFirst thing first, forgive yourself genuinely and tell yourself that absolutely no one will ever be able to make you cut short your own happiness. You are an adult and should have a mind of your mind.
Have the humility to listen to advice and the power to choose what's best for you and your peace of mind.
May God take away from you the spirit of guilt and grant you the power to forgive yourself. ✌️✌️✌️
This your story sef, i dont understand it. You wanted a baby so bad and went ahead to abort a pregnancy. Madam wake up and smell the coffee, theres no point crying over spilled milk. Ask God for forgiveness and forgive yourself too. Focus on getting another job now then look for someone that will get u pregnant or get married, anyone.
ReplyDeleteDon't beat yourself up, I has happened to the best of us and we are still here. Genuinely ask for forgiveness from the all forgiving God and move on from it.
ReplyDeleteDid you get pregnant for a married man? Cos I don't understand the immense pressure to abort the pregnancy. If you really wanted that child,you would have kept it no matter the pressure. You were undecided too and that's why the people pressuring you succeeded. Now you have to ride up and pick the pieces of your life. I think you would benefit greatly from therapy. You need to forgive yourself,heal your body and spirit and learn to move on. You don't have a choice cos no matter how much you will it,the baby is gone and what is done cannot be undone.
ReplyDeleteThe best way to heal from this kind of pain is to fall pregnant again and give birth, only the birth of a baby can heal you completely else you will remain same way.
ReplyDeleteThe mistake has been done already, no need to be hard on yourself. Just calm down and look for a way to fall pregnant again. Please stop trying so hard to hurt yourself, you have learnt from your mistake.
Really? She has no job and she is depressed. Why encourage her to be a single mother??? I can't believe what i am reading.
DeletePlease don't get pregnant again until you have gotten another job. Cut off those friends that persuaded you into having an abortion. Forgive yourself, get a job before talking of getting pregnant.
Delete16:20
DeleteMy dear I don't understand it either, it is scattering my head. She said people pressured her into abortion, now you people want to pressure her into single motherhood? What sort of numbskull advice is that?
Poster better sit down and think what you want for yourself, don't let people play you like football from one corner to another. What is done is done, ask God for forgiveness and truly repent of your sin. Then forge ahead with life, you have a lot ahead of you, children will come in their due time.
Poster, Listen up. Take up total responsibility for your actions. YOU made the final decision. Ask God for forgiveness with a contrite heart. Then forgive yourself. Then determine to ABSTAIN from sex until you are married. Then get another very good job. To try and atone, do some charity work for a children's charity. You can even sponsor a child. But DO NOT have a child to heal you. It is not fair or right to use a child like that. It is VERY selfish and narcissistic. One baby does not replace another.
ReplyDeleteDear poster kindly follow Stella's advice, get pregnant again but not for a married man ooooo
ReplyDeletePoster,you need to have your own mind,know what you want and stand for it,what's done,it's done. Learn to be firm in your decision making.
ReplyDeleteKaiii, Nigerians can be so judgemental. Somebody is having suicidal thoughts and instead of being empathetic, you're condemning her. Poster, forgive yourself and ask God who sees all, to forgive you. It will get better. Trust me, some of the people condemning you have done worse. Don't let this decision derail your life.
ReplyDeleteNo,I don't agree with Stella's pen today.this poster is a very confused person.u can't remember having unprotected sex? Ok ,we hear . U were looking forward to having this baby? So who told u otherwise? And how come u gave in?who is the father? Did he have anything to do with that decision? having a baby right now is not for u.sort urself out ,get a job,see a therapist if not u will come bk and say people forced u to have a baby again.carrying a baby to full term is not for the faint hearted.pull urself together and stop d self pity.u are better than that.sorting urself out is d first step.✌️
ReplyDeleteYou are sorry about what you did. Ask God for forgiveness and also ask him to help you forgive yourself for that moral error. And ask him to remove the guilt also. The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 if we confess our sins he is faithful and just to forgive us and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. After this any time it comes up in your mind, say out loud i am forgiven.
ReplyDeleteWhen Jesus forgives he forgets it. He doesn't bring it back to you. It's the devil playing with your mind.
Forgive yourself and have the will to live again trust God for another job and look on a bright side
Cut off your friends who ill-adviced you. Make new friends and pls don't sleep around.
Poster, there are so many details missing from your story that I can only assume someone powerful is involved. I am pro-choice and believe in abortion rights, but I have never encouraged anyone to have an abortion. Even the counsellor at the clinic tried to get you to stop and you pushed on. Who had such power over you that you sold your own power to let them have their way? Was the father of the baby a married man, a relative, or someone controversial?
ReplyDeleteCounselling has not help because nobody did anything to you. The pain you feel is what you did to yourself and until you take full responsibility then healing will be difficult. Continue to do the counselling though, or change the therapist. You have to forgive yourself, truly feel the pain and remorse and forgive yourself. The same prayers King David and Solomon prayed in their periods of shame, pray them. The prayers are in The Psalm. Never give up your power like that again. Pray for your own husband to find you so you don’t have to have sex with a careless man who cannot stand with you. May you find the peace you seek and what was lost be returned to you in a double portion.
See advices many married men are even better than many of these lazy jigolos better pick your partner better next time
ReplyDeleteMy advice is make up your mind to adopt a baby when u r more stable financially it will help with the guilt..
ReplyDeleteIt's painful, I know..time heals all wounds. Ask for forgiveness from God and draw yourself closer to him. You would heal with time
ReplyDeleteNne no vex o, when you were praying to get pregnant as a single lady, which God were you praying to??? The God that doesn't support fornication???
ReplyDelete