MARRIAGE IS OVERRATED
You are a coparent, meaning you don't live with the father of the child, this helped you to do it successfully. If you had a man telling you he wants to eat egusi soup with semo for dinner, or after nacking you wetin no good the previous night, you wake up 5:30am to prepare lunch for him again, clean and mop, wash, do market runs, etc. Where will you have the time for homeschooling?
Sometimes I feel like leaving my marriage, it's so draining. The few times that hubby travelled, I felt better. He doesn't cheat or beat me but it's choking me.
I wake up every morning Monday to Saturday to cook his lunch as he leaves home 7:am for work. I have told him to at least let me rest on Saturday mornings and he should buy food, he refused. During school holidays too, no rest.
I prepare the kids for school, drop them while I also go to my shop from there. I close from shop 5:pm, take them from school, go home, give them something to eat, do house chores while helping with their home work, cook dinner, prepare them for sleep, arrange for the next morning. Hubby will come with his own complain about one thing or the other too.
Back sometimes and the next morning, we start all over.
It is made worse by the fact that we are struggling so no washing machine, or microwave oven or fridge/freezer. I cook twice daily and I go to the minimarket almost everyday as we can't afford to buy in bulk. I also wash with my bare hands every other day.
If he is not around, I don't have to cook all the time. Sometimes I arrange a quick meal for my kids. Saturdays, I rest in the mornings. I sleep well at night. No one to nag at me or complain.
Marriage is over rated abeg. The only good thing in mine are my fine kids.
OMG, what is this???????????? Your husband is a slave runner, wicked man from the pit of hell!
Your need to break free from this bondage!!!...I dont even know what to tell you at all but this your narrative traumatised me....If any man demands this from me, i no go marry abeg!!!
Honestly this is to much for only you.. you need to do do something fast before you break down both physically,Emotionally and mentally..marriage is surpose to be enjoyed not endured..
ReplyDeleteGo and visit your parents for some days and see whether if he won't buy food and enjoy himself.
DeleteMao Akuh
This is daily routine of an African wife except you are working class, you can afford somethings to make life easier
DeleteYour marriage is over rated not all marriage are like this.
DeleteMadam poster this is not good for your health. Try to get extra help. This life na one ooo! God forbid anything happens to you, it won't be easy for your kids, and before you say boom! there is another madam.
DeleteAnon 15:45; this is the routine for most wives anywhere.
DeleteWhen I was in Nigeria, I was doing similar, only that I had washing machine, freezer, microwave, or any other thing to help. I even had a Nexus 6 (4 - 2) gas/electric burner.
But there was still pressure from my husband.
You have to find a way to balance these pressures o
I cook up to 7 soups a day, freeze them. When he asks for a particular soup, I heat and serve him. Sometimes, he asks me if I just cook the soup.
When I left Nigeria, I continued like that. Now I can't really say if the pressure is better or not because there is lots of technology to help me better organise myself, for instance, I don't have to go shopping. I do it online, and it's delivered to me at home. But there's less and less time now that I find it difficult to even microwave his meal for him.
When this happens, he'll forget everything I did well, and nag about how abroad has empowered women and we don't do our duties anymore. That hurts, ehhh.
So poster, you can't leave your home. You have to make it better for yourself.
Find a way to get an affordable freezer and washing machine for a start. Then, use it to organise yourself better.
Poster please do your best to get a fridge, please. Let him provide the money since he is so demanding. Once your fridge arrives, cook soup and stew and maybe even jollof rice and just warm within the week. With a fridge you only need to make semo, eba, boil rice/yam within the week. Pele.
DeleteMadam, put yourself first and rest o. I read a story on IG. A lady had a friend who stressed herself out, doing chores. Hubby refused to get a help/chef. And his job was the one that took him out. Wife fell ill, and died. Lady called to check on he and the kids. Bottomline is hubby got a chef, and someone that helps around the house. Got a job that does not require him flying up and down while the person that slaved herself is gone. REST OOO
ReplyDeleteI wonder how she kept it to herself. As in, she has never discussed it with her husband before bringing it here. If you don't say your mind how will he know what you are going through?
DeleteSome love but don't care.
Communication is very necessary .
Obviously not in Nigeria, abroad sef ! Marriage is stressful!!! I love my space! Everybody is not built for marriage. I grew up in a large family! So when I meet any man, who wants to stress me with domestic life of activity in relationship; I take off. If there are 2 two things I detest in life, is cooking for crowd and sex. I have been celibate since, I got born again . I just enjoy my life in Christ. My orientation is mostly based on living a stress free life. My dear poster , is only you that will find rest with your hand o.
DeleteSame with my neighbor with two kids!
DeleteI told her if I do this things u do in a month I will just die the next month! Oh God I feel for mothers truly, that's why am pained when I see foolishness boys posting on social media that what does a woman bring to the table!
That is what most women faces in their marriage o
ReplyDeleteThe reality of most marriages here,its actually draining and suffocating 😔😔😔
DeleteThat's what most of them want to face, those same women will gossip about a woman who is lucky to have a husband that helps. Allow them to be slaved. Nobody can force you to go beyond your limits except you re willing.
DeletePoster, you're financially okay, buy moi moi sometimes and make pap, sometimes serve sardine, salad and bread with fruits, make easy things for yourself
DeleteFinancially okay wey no get fridge, washing machine, or even ordinary microwave?
DeleteDid we read the same chronicle?🙄
If you like be forming super woman. If you slump and die, your husband will remarry sharp sharp. Na u loose. This happened to my neighbour, before a year, the husband brought in another woman.
ReplyDeleteIt’s not super woman
DeleteIf she stops he’ll be upset
@16:23. Then let him be upset. Women must learn to know how far they can sacrifice for someone who refuses to sacrifice for them.
DeletePoster you will run yourself into the ground if you continue like this. Your husband does not care for you at all. Wise up. On some days don't make lunch, he can go hungry if he likes since he is a baby.
18:42 you dknt know if she has the finances to handle the consequences if he kicks her out
Delete18:42
DeleteWe didn't ask who is paying all or what bills in the family. A man who works 6 days in a week is also seeing something. And Poster didn't tell what nature of work.
Can Poster get laundry man or woman or any kind of paid domestic help from her trade profit? Questions. And more questions need answers before we judge.
Am I you or are you me. I have learnt to find rest in God.
ReplyDeleteWe plenty, but we dey manage am well.
DeleteIn fact, I'm now a career manager sef
Actually ma'am, marriage isn't over rated. It's the type of man you marry.
ReplyDeleteHe's a typical African mentality man with no mercy or consideration for a wife, and believes a wife must do all these suffering, as he feels its your duty. (Some men are like that, and sorry you married one of them).
But there are still good spouses who have made marriage beautiful.
Now, regarding your ordeal, get a help (maid. Leave in or come and go)
Don't say we are too poor we can't afford it. You must afford this oo. For your mental health, stability, wellbeing and progress in life. Luckily, there's no static rate. Some are willing to take any amount.
Don't leave this to him agreeing or not. Put your feet down on this.
Then, do what you can per day. When tired, leave the rest. Tomorrow is another day.
If the maid is grown, she can help with the kids drop off or arrange a keke (or any form of transportation) of someone you know very well in your area who will drop amd pick them up.
Then, start working on personal development or expanding your business to increase your financial flow, so as to ease things the more for you in future.
E Hugs
When women were not allowed to work, they complained bitterly now they are allowed to work, they are still complaining, I remember growing up at least in my culture, once you get married, a relative of yours will go with you and some of your relatives come around from time to time and it really does help and then women were not mandated to work but some women kept complaining until they started getting what they ordered, there are so many good and considerate men, choose wisely.
DeleteAnon 6:34; most women choose to work because of self worth. Some men reduced their women to footmats because they feed them and do everything for them.
DeleteI will not sit at home and collect insults because you feed me. I'll rather go out and work, but it's not a reason to double my tasks (earning a living and domestic work)
If you're a man, try to help your wife with domestic chores too. Don't say she asked for it, so she must get exhausted.
She is working. But the work cannot pay for any form of domestic help? What is the worth of the work or self worth from such work. No mention that she share bills from the gains of her trade.
DeletePoster...it is well with you
ReplyDeleteI also feel same when my husband is not around... infact I can close 6pm from work, get home and still do my house chores and still have time to rest...me and my kids can drink garri and go to bed..
But when he is around...even if I close from work by 3pm...I always feel d time is not enough for me...na so so rush person go dey rush just to make sure he meets food at home... sometimes I will have to branch mkt to get what to cook...
It's truly not easy ...but seeing d kids keeps us moving 🤗🤗
you need to look for a way to make those work lesser for you. I am not married but no washing since our borehole wahala will not allow me use the washing machine. I pay someone as low as 2k to come wash for me, while i tidy the house and cook.
ReplyDeleteYou need to talk wit your husband to get you deep freezer so that you can cook weekly and stock in the freezer. Get those women to assist you with washing, while you clean the house and cook meal. Stop forming strong woman to make your husband love you, on Saturdays you can form sickness and stay in bed all day. Your husband should assist with cooking, taking care of the kids and see if you are trying or now.
Please do not be silent over this, talk with him to be sure he understands your condition. You did not come into this world to die as a slave cos of marriage.
Marriage is not overrated, you married an inconsiderate man. You need to watch out for yourself before you develop health issues from stress. If anything happen to you, he will live fine. You need to read a post I saw on Twitter few days ago on DANG page, it's similar to yours just that they have money.
ReplyDeleteFelicity
A very mean and selfish man
DeletePlease get a Nanny or a help that come do the chores and get paid. You need rest please. Your husband seems to be a stubborn Man.
ReplyDeleteStella onye ocha nna ya di oji🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteThis is the reality of most married women in Nigeria, only few get help from their husbands, you will see men that can afford washing machine and a host of other things to make life easy at home but whossai!
Life sef no come balance, see aunty poster here complaining that she is tired of cooking and wish thay her hubby can buy food outside while one madam in my hood fought her husband for always buying food outside.
Some women whose husband travel alot are complaining that they are never home meanwhile aunty wants to of load her husband, 😂😂😂
It amazes me that what some people are complaining about are what some people dont mind doing, what a life!!
Poster your husband is set in his ways. Do you do anything for a living? If yes, start saving to buy a washing machine and other things you may need to help you make things easy since you guys are mananging.
I know a lot of women that the washing machine and other gadgets in their house was bought buy them.
Not every woman is lucky to be married to a rich or generous or considerate man abi you want to leave?
Gifty
Na why dem talk sey dis life no balance. Yet some are enjoying their marriages, and when you check, there is love and understanding..........
DeleteI agree with you gifty 💯
DeleteGet a househelp and sometimes you need wisdom to operate. Just pretend you are strong and don't do some chores or just be acting slow as per not your uusual energetic self. You need this to keep yourself sane and healthy abeg. Then if you children are old enough like 5,6,7...13 you can teach them how to be washing plate and doing some little tidying both boys and girls. This i and siblings did as children and has helped us alot now. I know a mum inlaw who stopped her life for her children to the extent that the grown kids still eat and throw food wrap or empty pet bottle on the floor or the old mother to be picking, mama will sweeping the house when the children are there doing nothing. The household stress made mama to be ill. So please take it easy and in all you need a househelp to assist you.
ReplyDeleteYou better pretend to be sick or to faint till you are rushed to the hospital. Explain to the doctor while he’s not there that all you need is rest so they won’t inject you with something damaging to your health.
ReplyDeleteI wonder why some women marry husbands they can’t express their feelings to.
Quite sad.
This got me cracking...lol. poster you need to do this, if uou explain to tge doctor they will admit you for bed rest sure you will be will taken care of at the clinic. No kill yaself o for ya husband na only like we get.
DeleteMarriage is not over rated. In your own case your problem is what money can solve. Money makes it easier.
ReplyDeleteWhen there is money:
You can Cook and store in freezer, you don't have to be cooking everyday.
You get washing machine,it reduces the stress of you washing with hands.
You pay for a school bus to take your children to school and bring them back.
You buy food stuff in bulk, you don't have to be going to the market all the time.
Can you see marriage is not your problem?? Relax and enjoy your marriage .
Thank you.
DeleteThe Problem is 75% money; 20% the husband; 5% society, culture, the woman (yes she), etc.
Absolutely! 💯 💯 💯 💯 💯
DeleteReason I opted out of the marriage. It's unhealthy to live with demons forever. Some Nigerian men are born wicked.what I hated most was knacking when I'm tired. Sheer wickedness
ReplyDeleteYou are also a demon. So demon meet demon. That's what happened 😈 😳
DeleteWhat the hell! Stella your sign out post wasn't it and may liklely aggravate an already delicate situation.
ReplyDeleteFrom everything OP listed above, you can deduce that OP and her spouse aren't really financially well off. But that shouldn't be enough for the level of discontent OP has in her marraige.
Madam, I'll advise you to be careful with these thoughts you are allowing to settle in your mind. Your marriage that you are looking at like a burden to you now will surely become what you will be running helter skelter to fix by the time you allow BVs mouth here push you go to wetin no good.
Mind you, even if you leave your husband with the kids today, your situation won't improve one bit. If washing machine was so easy to get, why haven't you gotten one for yourself since?
Marriage is not for the weak. I have been here all morning imagine just how tasty my kids will be if I prepared them as peppersoup because these kids dey stress me die. But na only shout I go shout. I mentally prepared myself before I embarked on this journey of marriage.
My wellness and wholeness in marriage is NOT dependent on my spouse. I'm too hardwired to count and depend on me so needing another person really still doesn't sit well with me.
Yes, I know building a family can be very stressful. Not all women are lucky to have husbands who make the walk easy for them. Everything you say you do OP, I do them daily and I'm the husband. But it hasn't one day made me resent my wife. Will I appreciate greater input from my spouse? Hell yes! But I won't make a fuss out of it.
See what's before you and value it.
Discuss with you husband on how heavy you think the load you carry has become and if there are ways to lighten it up. How can you even be fucking your husband when you have so much pent-up rage within you?
Marriage is not slavery. But communication can solve most challenges. Money can also solve more. The complaints of a poor man's wife aren't the best to entertain when money can handle the matter.
What were you people discussing when you were dating? These are the kind of things you should all have hashed out before saying I do. As much as you think you have genuine grounds in your chronicle, I'll say what you need is wisdom. There are a lot of women out there who have it tougher but their grit, persuasion and determination gets them through.
You are doing well.
DeleteWhen we'll tell them to build themselves to a level before marriage they'll not listen..
DeleteYou can't afford common fridge and you dey marry..
Man broke
Woman broke
And them dry marry..
Now one broke one is blaming the other for the same thing she lacks..
Cos na poverty be the whole issue here.. and e sure me say them support this government.. na so their supporters no get sense
Honestly what you need is rest and more income so you can outsource your chores and make use of technologies to make your work easier.
ReplyDeleteCo parent mum or mum living with her husband,none is easy if you don't have support systems.
Poster,you have to change it for your husband oooo,before he met and married you,he was living a life,I hate selfish people,your husband is extremely selfish and doesn't think about,how to relieve you at all. Get someone to come and do the laundry and cleaning up of the house. If not,stress and bitterness will age you faster. Please consider yourself and reject nonsense.
ReplyDeleteNot for every man.
DeleteMake we no dey give drastic advice without knowing the other person involved.
Acting on such advice has been known to lead to unforeseeable consequences.
Poster guard your heart and mind.
What is drastic? He no dey see, he no dey reason , abi he no care?
DeleteHmmmmmmmn.
ReplyDeleteYou no dey shame..
ReplyDeleteFrom everything you wrote, the only thing you do for your husband is cool his food but you are still complaining..
Why not also mention the sacrifices that man does for you and the family..
Kuku stop cooking and become useless to him naw..
Nonsense
Always complaining and never appreciating..
The man still dey even give you better nacking sef..
Always on a high-speed to self-destruction as always.. later they'll now be bitter after using bad decisions to mess up their lives.
Please stop cooking for him or live the 'slave' marriage 🙏
Dante only dense men reason this way
DeleteDante only dense men reason this way
DeletePoster, you have to display small craze for am. If you no change am for am once , you will continue this way and one day , you might develop high BP and it will eventually break you. You are a wife, helpmate not a slave. God forbid if anything happens to you, he will continue with his life. Just apply wisdom here
ReplyDeleteTalk to him about trying to get some of the things you need to make life easier for all of you.home making stress kills marriages and a lot of men don’t know.Start by buying a small fridge and microwave.That way you don’t have to wake up to cook everyday.slowly but surely
ReplyDeleteAny woman who has kids to care for must have two things at least..a washing machine and a fridge/deep freezer. Cook all your food for the week on Saturday or Sunday and store in the fridge so you are only boiling rice and warming soup for meals etc. Very easy. Then a washing machine to take care of all daily washings. If not,you are on a very long thing.
ReplyDeletePoster..these things you are complaining about are things we all do on a daily basis just that we have found ways to make it a bit easier on ourselves by using these machines. Money is a factor for you but you can still look for a way to out source some of these jobs by getting someone to come do some house chores for twice or thrice weekly until you can get your appliances. And talk to your husband too...he should be able to help with some of the chores. Why does he have to take lunch to work like a child everyday? I have never taken lunch to work in my life and just eat food from the canteen when hungry. Learn to communicate with your spouse and work out a compromise before you burn out.
@16:27: "Lunch to work like a child everday"
DeleteUna get mouth here no be small.
All advisory to low and medium income earners says to minimize eating out and to pack lunch to save money.
In the current economy, it is clearly wiser and safer to pack lunch to work.
Even the woman admits that they are facing financial challenges.
But once a woman complains about a man here, everything turns upside down leaving the real issue.
17:56 I don’t think lunch to work most days. Sometimes I drink garri at work and continue my work till I go home.
DeleteSometimes just hold body small instead of stressing yourself or spouse
Not everyone likes eating out or order food. Some like home made food and there is no any other way to have it than to cook.
DeleteShe should appreciate that her husband provides for the food. Let her talk to him may be he should try to assist her with the chores when he is less busy or they should get a help .
Poster, are you me?is me you? are we we? I am just speechless but what I learnt is to gradually dodge somethings and stick to it.
ReplyDeleteI have to stop my small business and starting working for someone, so he will not be controlling .
Cos any small thing he will tell me to leave the business for the girls handling it and stay at home.
I can stay one month without reaching the gate of my compound, just doing chores.
While some women might not mind, those of us that are career minded or want to keep our brains functioning intellectually find these kind of situations difficult.
This one na work like elephant, eat like ant type of marriage
ReplyDeletePoster discuss this problem with your husband, let him help with the chores or buy washing machine, deep freezer and water tank with pumping machine to make things easier for you . Sorry dear
U married a wicked man...chikena...
ReplyDeleteI don't like my hubby travelling because it's more stressful for me...when he's around the load is lighter... especially with the kids and chores...u need to put ur self first...stress can kill o....
Poster, my only advice is for you to stop going to the shop, stay at home and take care of the kids and other things while hubby does the financial part of the marriage. Anything he brings in ,you all will manage it. Please stay at home for now until your kids are grown enough to be able to assist. He should double his hussle if he can. You can't kill yourself with too much stresss. Tell him you can't do the shop business anymore because combining all that plus house chores if affecting your health badly
ReplyDeleteMy dear both of them are working and they can't afford basic gadgets. Just imagine what will happen if she stop making money moreso there is a special feeling that comes with having your own money no matter how rich your husband is.
DeleteMy father will always tell us that even the president has the office of the first lady just for the woman to make.her own money.
Woman/wives Own money. The bane of marriage this side.
DeleteNo mention of what she financially contributes to the family upkeep. Yet she cannot pay somebody to help her with some domestic chores from her own money.
What is the purpose of running a shop then?
How do you know she is not using her money to buy food and other household items? I have been seeing your comments all over in anon mode trying to blame the wife but mentioning nothing about the man stressing his wife. That is what you do in most of your comments in posts concerning women. Never balanced and you never bother about the poster if it is a woman. In your head you are only interested in fighting against the women of SDK blog and the comments you have read that have 'pained' you. Continue ooo. Begs the question of the type of man you are, definitely you would always blame your woman and if you are a woman, you must hate yourself. Yes you 4:48. I recognize you in every post and everywhere on this one.
DeleteIf my husband is not around, the children can drink garri and go to bed.
ReplyDeleteFathers, please check well on your children when you return from your travels. Bond with them and ask questions. You will learn plenty.
Put your children in a school near your house. Where they can trek into if possible or get a trusted Keke/okada. He comes in the morning and pick the children and bring them back in the evening. Get a female to stay with you not necessarily a maid maybe a relative . Treat the person like your own child. Let her assist in domestic work. When you cook for your children in the morning, dish whatsoever you cooked for them for your husband. Don't stress yourself cooking a different meal.
ReplyDeleteSeat your husband down and tell him how you feel. Plead with him to help you. Maybe batting the children in the morning and dressing them for school.
This life is not difficult. No one owes anyone anything.
Tell him, marriage is partnership
DeleteHaha, madam come and ask me. In my own case,I'm not working so it's a bit easier, but I bake to sell on order. And he's always complaining if he's around and I need to drop order, he wants me at his Becks and call 247, a grown ass man, be can't do anything around the house except me, even to his boxer and socks, he'll ask me for it. I even drop him off at work and sometimes pick him up, thank God for fuel price, now he comes home by staff bus, I cook 3 times if he's home, if he's off he expects sex every day even if I complain of tiredness. He complains anytime I give him shopping list but he can't go out to get it by himself, wo list long
ReplyDeleteYou are really trying.
DeleteThose of you saying fridge this , washing machine that and microwave this! I decided to not have a fridge because it smells , when no light! Then that's how somebody will stock it! The next thing no light for two weeks! Unlike before; when fuel was cheap ! Then washing machine! Since I moved back to Nigeria; I wear and wash, as I live alone! Then microwave is very dangerous due to laser rays! So don't call anyone broke because they are not indulging in madness! I live a minimalist lifestyle! I find a nice cafe to eat lunch daily! And have a light dinner! I only maintain these things abroad! When I am in Nigeria! Madam poster, tell the man to provide these items for you or you provide for yourself! Marriage is not a walk in the park! Stress kills!!!
DeleteYou enabled it. Don't ever start what you can't finish. Why start all that at first?
DeletePoster, I ache for you. This is how my grandmother's marriage was. This is the marriage of when a woman becomes a workhorse and nothing more. A beast of labour, outlet for sex, and listenig ear, but no sweetness or joy to show out of the marriage. Please do not work yourself into the grave because you will be replaced in the blink of an eye. Sometimes we can't even blame the men because they didn't see any love at home or fathers helping out in the house, so this too is what they know.
ReplyDeleteTalk to your spouse to help out more. Let him know you are doing too much. The thing is you have nothing to ease your burden so I know you are not even eating highly nutritious cause money is tight. He can wash up dishes, help the children with homework, sweep/mop..etc. If he refuses to help out in the house then he has to fInd a way to make a higher income. I cannot believe that in 2024 there are families living without a fridge, even the smallest drinks fridge.
If you can learn a trade that could lead to a higher income, please go ahead and learn it. Use the Saturdays when you are free to build up yourself. See what charities/NGOs and other orgs. are around to help out. Take any opportunity for self improvement no matter how hard it is, because the training will end one day and after you will be in a position to earn more. I am assuming you are selling small things in your shop, see if there is a need for something in the community that is not easy to find and if you can fill that void. May God lighten your load. I wish you all the best.
This reminds me of my ex husband. So self centered. I was fresh when I married him but became skeleton within six months.
ReplyDeleteI cooked fresh food everyday. Enter bike reach shop before 8am, while he will drive himself come around 11am.
The day my sis in law came to the shop and saw me looking tartared. She gave me serious advice to take care of my self or else I will age before my time.
I started saying no to things that will stress me.
No more going to shop on Saturday.
Why are so many ppl advising to get a maid/help? She clearly stated they are struggling financially. What will they pay help with? It doesn't even sound like they are in a comfortable housing setting. I was waiting for her to say she was hauling water from the well on top of everything.
ReplyDeleteAt her economic level she can get a come and go maid. He can buy a freezer and pay small small. The children can help with chores, he can do chores (it is his home too)
DeletePoster draw boundaries and do die a slave who will be replaced by a mean man quickly, be alive for your children and yourself
DeleteSTOP
Na you dey overdo o... Me I no dey do pass myself. If I reach where I no fit do again I stop. Na only talk you go talk, you no go beat me
ReplyDeleteThank you for discouraging the single men and women that marriage is overated i did not see where you say your husband is not providing any ways me I go still marry and go help my wife to they run things for the house
ReplyDeleteDem force u marry? …Na ur own marriage lol,mine is not over rated please
ReplyDeleteI feel drained reading this..mist be very exhausting having to cook different things everyday. I wish you well
ReplyDeletePoster Have you heard of the saying do not start what you cannot finish? You enabled him from the start and still enabling him..........
ReplyDeleteNever start something you can’t finish. You did all of these to impress him during courtship and you carried it over to your marriage.
ReplyDeletePoster, you’ll have to continue. That’s why he married you, to be his slave(Mummy).
You will just die, if you continue to behave like this.
Let him Nag, who cares. Do you and make your routines work for you.
Put yourself first just like the way your husband is.
Ladies, stop all these virtues woman things by using house chores to kill yourself, so that he can marry you. Be you because anything you start doing, you’ll continue it and In marriage.
Any advice for men not working to kill themselves in order to provide for their families - you know, just doing minimally to get by?
Delete04:56
DeleteYour equivalence is wrong, she works, carries pregnancies, nurses and does housework. He works. That’s all. She is slaving , he is not a kind man. She shouldn’t allow an insensitive man kill her by overburdening her to poor health or death
04:56
DeleteYour equivalence is wrong, she works, carries pregnancies, nurses and does housework. He works. That’s all. She is slaving , he is not a kind man. She shouldn’t allow an insensitive man kill her by overburdening her to poor health or death
I had one guy like that, the second week of dating, he brought out his Laundry for me to wash. If you see cloth. I left it there for him.
ReplyDeleteHe now told me, is this how I will behave in marriage? I replied, firstly I’m not your slave. Secondly, if you like bring your ancestors cloths, you already know who you’ll settle down with.
I told him upfront that I was very lazy, which was a lie😁.
Guess what, he married a laundry wife while am married to a man who makes me work on my own routines and also a helpmate. So poster, you gave your husband the opportunity to see you as a slave, instead of a helpmate.
Good move. Good advice -Choose your spouse wisely. What should Poster do now. Leave the man to look for your kind of husband? You didn't say.
Deleteposter we know marriage can be hard but we as women need to be intentional about our being
ReplyDeletefirstly you need to get help who can assist with house chores and you can put more effort in your business and make enough money to buy what you need
have you brought up this conversation with your husband?
i am a banker with a toddler, when my nanny left suddenly it was hard for that 8 months i got another
my husband hates chores and would pay for it, i used to have a nanny and a cleaner and hubby paid for them while i do other chores around the house
he helps only when neccessary, he is not so keen on me cooking everyday but i insist on doing it for him with joy
we need to see this things as our contribution to the house because this men are paying bills that we cant pay
This is a daily routine for me in the North but me I get washing machine.
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