I have two beautiful girls, I will never allow this mentality. This mentality has caused many ladies to remain single for life after losing a good man. No sane man will wait for a lady after such happens, even if they call him to come and marry her a few weeks after, he won't.
He would conclude that her family is not a good one to marry into.
We all came into this world separately, with unique destinies, some were destined to marry early, some were destined to marry late, others were destined to remain single for life. Why should you thwart one child's destiny because of another? So if the older one does not get married till she clocks 50, the younger one should keep waiting?
One of my neighbors with three grown girls displayed this the other day, we were talking about his girls Aaa, Bee, and Cee. Bee got pregnant out of wedlock. So I told him we will soon travel to his home town to attend Bee's wedding, after she gives birth. This very educated man told me angrily that he sent the idiot that impregnated her away when he mentioned marriage, that how can Bee get married when her elder sister, the ADA of the family is still single.
He said Bee thought she can use unwanted pregnancy as a short cut to allow such an abomination but she has failed. She will become a single mom because that is what she signed up for.
I was shocked. I tried convincing him but he was adamant. I just left the yeye man there.
I find this mentality very local, wicked and archaic.
If you are here and you have this mentality, please change.
To think that this just flashed through my mind this morning. Naa!! the Universe is in alignment and in sync..You spoke well. I have 2 younger sisters that are married; the world does not revolve around me and since they found happiness..Why should I be a stumbling block?...
ReplyDeleteMost Igbo people dey do this one steady...
Most? Where did you get your data from? This is how you guys start and spread stereotypes because you know one or two families where it happened
DeletePhoenix I disagree with you no this.i am igbo and the first daughter my younger sisters are married..
DeleteCMM poster I tell you, you just helped me confirm that some educated people are worse than illiterates.
DeleteIs it that you people don't understand ENGLISH???
DeleteYou don't understand the meaning of MOST and that it is different from ALL?
What is difficult in that to understand for heaven's sake?
Cant you take it that you are simply not part of the 'most' and keep shut?
Gosh!
Dont they teach comprehension in school?
Or is it general low IQ?
Me wey all my younger ones don marry and I still dey single Pringle. Everybody destiny dey different. Na money to travel round the world I dey look for like this.
DeleteMe wey all my younger ones don marry and I still dey single Pringle. Everybody destiny dey different. Na money to travel round the world I dey look for like this.
DeleteAbeg talk wetin you know. Igbo are tribalistic in nature, but you see the one you wrote up there I firmly disagree.
DeleteHmmmmmm in this time and era, people still behave like this?
ReplyDeleteits the daughter i blame in all this, i would have gone ahead to do court wedding and moved in with the man till the father comes to his senses
ReplyDeletethe ada is really wicked for allwing her dad do such
I was just thinking. I will do registry. They don’t even have to know self. When whoever needs to marry marries we can divtrad
DeleteNa him sabi. Only few families have this mentality, it is not the norm. I know many families were this is not an issue
ReplyDeletemy immediate younger sister married seven years before me, imagine my parent holding her down because of me! barbaric culture.
ReplyDeleteNo parent or even family should encourage this culture, you cant sacrifice the future of one child for another.
ReplyDeleteLife na per head, the earlier you under and teach your children that, the better for you.
ReplyDelete*understand
DeleteI got married before my elder sister. This eye mentality wanted to come up, some family members were saying how can I marry before my elder sister? How can I marry before my aunties (mum younger sisters)?.
ReplyDeleteIt was my mum's friend 5hat advised her not to let them prevail that you can't use one person's destiny to delay another. She did that with a real life example.
Primitive bush mentality.
DeleteThat's why the country is so effed up.
Na Bee never serious to marry, something she would have disowned everybody and face her front. Except the relationship get kleg before and Bee is looking for way to japa
ReplyDeleteI have heard of that too, sense no just dry.
ReplyDeleteNa yeye people dey do that kind thing
This was very common in those days.its going into extinction now , Gen Z children no send family again
ReplyDeleteThe father is a very heartless Man for making alher Second Daughter to be a Single Mother..
ReplyDeleteSha he did not know that Marriage is First come
First Serve
If he has Sense he could have Allowed The Second Daughter to get Marriage
That Marriage would have Open Doors for the Elders Sisters
Make he dey delay himself
Nonsense..
Story of my life!!! To think my sister and I are not in talking terms anymore. Not like I care 🤷
ReplyDeleteEwo. I can't believe people have this kind of mentality in this day and age..my younger sister got married before. It wasn't even up for discussion whether she would wait for me. She did..I'm also married now..it doesn't mean anything
ReplyDeleteA man gave me a ride. We exchanged numbers and started chatting. He decided to visit me. I lived in the family house with my parents and siblings . He visited and saw my younger sister. He switched immediately and the next thing, they got married. My family didn’t object. The marriage today is story for another day. All I can say is‘thank God’ I didn’t end up with him.
ReplyDeleteI got married 10years later.
I have a question why do Igbo people dont allow a child birth out of wedlock answer the fathers name bcos he did not pay her bride price? But an Igbo MAN (WITH A WOMAN FROM ANOTHER TRIBE )can have a child out of wedlock and wants the child to answer is name ?
ReplyDeleteThere is this man i know he impregnated a lady that i know without paying her bride price her family says NO the child will not answer his name until he do the needful the man is fighting but to late for the Igbo man it is called tradition.