STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WORRIED SINGLE LADY
Good day,
Is it me, my group or it is common.
My friends( childhood friends) and I are all single. We are five since secondary school days. Still friends and all education in either US, UK or South Africa. We are rich , well brought up, beautiful but still single.
Good day,
Is it me, my group or it is common.
My friends( childhood friends) and I are all single. We are five since secondary school days. Still friends and all education in either US, UK or South Africa. We are rich , well brought up, beautiful but still single.
We are in our mid 40s . Have been to Bible believing churches, have tried church choir, attended social events etc. All these and more, but we are still single. Please what can you advise we do or where can we go, online or offline to get our man?
It is frustrating.
It is frustrating.
We are all island girls( born and grew up here). Still works in island and all lives in our own houses in island. It's frustrating.
You need to move in another clique to see other people.. You also probably looking to marry in your class right?Mix with other people and lets see what happens, go to other Churches from the ones you attendI dont know what else to say oh
Start mingling with another set of friends, when no be say na same destiny all of you carry
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Remove yourself from that group. Some people carry bad spirit without knowing. Let it not be one of you is holding others down.
ReplyDeleteDid you people commit any abominable act together? I mean from your younger days THINK! if not break from that friendship. How can 5friends all be single in their fourties’ onwe aru unu kpara together??
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
Fan!!! I like reading ur comments but most times I don't understand wat u type cos it's in Igbo.pls,can u translate for people like me?tnks!
DeleteLyrix onye nkem awww๐ pardon my Igbo speaking, Onyibo adirom nma na onu chaa.
DeleteMy dear all I was trying to ask is that odi ka onwe onye poster na her friends koro onu di when they where very young. Poster chekikwaa
Fan Emmanuel
๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค๐ค
Delete๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐
DeleteFan แปbแปฅ onye nkแป.. She asked for explanation, you added another Igbo to it.
Simple, Fan is asking if they committed any atrocities together that they can't breakup?
Perhaps, they abused an akata before and incurred curse.
Fan ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ Shilekeeeee ๐ where is the explanation nau ๐คฃ chaiiiii Nne, iri worski ๐ Abeg explain for our sister because even me was lost inside it ๐
DeleteAge is no longer on you people's side, so you might wanna consider guys that are not as rich as you would have hoped for. Secondly! I hope your clique didn't offend anyone whilst growing up that may have led to you all being cursed?. Finally, you need to detach yourself from this clique before they start seeing you guys as occultic ladies that exchanged their marital destiny for wealth... Should I go on?
ReplyDeleteI think you can try going to fun spots on your own as it takes a very bold man to break into a group of maybe 4 or 5 friends to ask you out or know you better....Just take only you out on these places you mentioned while dressing sassy and with a smile...Trust me one bloke will notice you ☺️☺️
ReplyDeleteAll the best
Nice comment dear!
DeleteThis comment!!!
Delete๐
Delete๐
DeleteWhat's your take about men that live on the mainland ๐๐
ReplyDeleteI mean no disrespect as you no be my mate, but just thinking aloud..
The gods cannot do for man what man must do for himself.- Athena
So it's not by going to church, attending deliverance and miracle services.. if you don't right the 'wrong' you're doing, nothing would change..
I used to have a female friend, she can never apologize, just to say sorry when she did wrong was a problem, but she'll go and be praying to God to touch your heart and forgive her.. like how๐คฆ.. when she can just apologize directly, shell instead be deceiving and stressing herself
Afi island girls na
ReplyDeleteThis is serious. All of 5 of you with the same background and lifestyle couldn't find men in your elite circle to settle down with? Have you tried foreigners? Naija men within your age bracket will all either have married in their thirties or on second marriages by now. Pls consider having kids if his ands are not forthcoming.
ReplyDeleteFind the guys in your station
ReplyDeleteYou are giving some wrong guys a chance. Many of them will be too scared to marry you anyway
be VERY careful with dating men of a lower class than you. may God not let you see a situation that will make you miss your single days. enjoy your life today and freeze your eggs for the future ( it is can be done in nigeria)
ReplyDeleteShe should freeze her egg for the future? She is in her 40s, so she is living in her future.
DeleteShe should get a sperm donor and a surrogate and have a baby.
Binam it’s still good advice to harvest the eggs now
DeleteStatistically todays eggs are better than September’s
I co-sign anon 15.35 on the part about not dating lower than their class. It’s not worth it.
DeleteThink about widowers and solo movement on your part, travel and interact by yourself , stop going out with them , open your mind , consider foreigners too.
DeleteAvoid liability men aka old gold diggers who are looking for old age nanny, comfort , hiding sickness and plenty debt and baggages
Don't settle for
Settle down with
Try online. There are still good men online. You can join all these Facebook and WhatsApp groups and be very active by posting regularly.
ReplyDeleteEver since I read where Eka Joy said she met her husband in a football WhatsApp group and I believe she was very active there (you know say she get coconut head), I have been advising single ladies to join groups and be active.
Obviously you guys have preferential class you're all choosing, you all have the same thing in common, taste, style etc And also share secrets , so same person Wil also want what others want. Just limit some certain things like demands and give room for other friendship both for male and female.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster
ReplyDeleteThis is not common please, something is not right .
Sometimes, it's not just about going to Church, it's deeper than that ,it's having a personal relationship with God, building your intimacy with God.
Have you tried Praises? When everything fails ,this does not.
If you can,you can change your location to the Mainland, let's see. Sometimes ,positioning matters too.
Also, at this point ,you might need to take a break from your friends for a while to observe.
You can make friends both male and female with other people as well. Someone might have a single brother or uncle looking to get married and can introduce you.
Fiiiinally, have you tried Stella's Singles Mingles before? If no, another one is loading this February, craft a lovely bio and send ,who knows ,we might attend your wedding before June.
You shall testify.
Go to nice restaurants to eat lunch,you’ll meet good and responsible people there
ReplyDeleteIs not about going to restaurant to eat, i think she will still discuss with her friends the outcome of her date and they will discourage her so they will remain in the same circle.
DeleteYou are so correct, I remember when I was in a grp, when you meet a fuck boy, they won't complain, but when you meet correct prospect, they will discourage you. Awon da kin da. I ran away from that grp, and I'm really happy for my present relationship
DeleteYes
DeleteRun relationships outside your friends
It is a salient issue everyone keeps skirting around. The number of unmarried young men and women is becoming an explosive issue world wide. And not all of them choose to be unmarried. Not a lot of young men are searching and most successful and single ladies are assumed to already be in some relationship leading up to marriage. A conundrum.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you might need to take the bull by the horn. Yes! Shame no dey this matter again o! If you have a man you are currently dating, ask him whatsup? You need to be walked down that aisle and he needs to get right on it. Nobody has time to waste.
My wife popped the marriage question. If she hadn't I'd probably still be bouncing around one chick to another. I no send that time. But look at us today going to 5 years of marriage with 3 kids. And God is helping us!
She is a long time BV and she'll read this post knowing am the one who posted it. So no be lie I lie. Sometimes shoot your shot and hope that the person you are dating is not an efulefu that will rob it in your face tomorrow.
But in all said, not everyone must marry. Make peace with that and put your mind at rest. If marriage will come, it will come.
๐๐๐@DogA
DeleteHonestly, I don't know if I'll be'serious' if a babe no pop the question or give a direct green light oh..
I too spoil.. I no sure say I Sabi toast.. I no even get that strength to chase..
Sometimes, I set wonder who be the babes wey dey talk say dem no fit shoot shots cos from way back primary school, I have been having girls shoot their shots
Try online dating but be careful
ReplyDeleteIf you have money, travel out
I advice ladies in their 40s to find non Nigerian men
You didnt tell us whether you are born again otherwise if your reason for going to church is husband sorry knowing Jesus is number one and those places you also mentioned may not be too good for your spiritual life.Pls detach from your group and seek a church where you can be saved and serve and he will locate you.45 yrs is just too far for a lady to start seeking husband but we can't never to never goodluck
ReplyDeleteHmmm quietly detached yourself from that clique if possible change location. I always believe when u are stagnant in one aspect of your life in a particular location you try and change location and see if there will be changes. Also communicate more aside your cliques and go out often. Your clique might not be happy but you are doing it for yourselves. You can advise them to do same and let see if the jinx wont be broken.
ReplyDeleteEver considered dating outside your race or tribe? I have educated friends sitting on this table gidigba, they only want to settle with their own tribe. Not like there’s anything wrong with that, but just know that you’re limiting your options. In a nutshell, trust God and let him lead you to wherever He wants you to go. It is not too late for you!
ReplyDeletePoster take your self out occasionally to some beautiful eaterie, go to parties organized by big people, take your self to vacations, enjoy your life and also participate in the upcoming Stella single mingle and see if love ♥️ will not find you one day. Good luck
ReplyDeleteFriendship is not by force. Cut off the link and each one should face her destiny
ReplyDeletePoster please drop your mail with Stella so I can reach out to you.
ReplyDelete17:02 It's not about reaching out, are you in her class intellectually, financially and more???
DeleteNot that you gave heard 'rich' and 'house owner' your antenae is all standing.
If she says sews clothes and lives in Ikorodu would you be asking for her details? Talk true na.
Poster, don't date down and don't date utter rubbish before you marry who sees nothing wrong in eating different peoples food like a homeless penguin and feels its proper to make you get up cook food for him by 4:30am since his hands are permanently crippled when it comes to feeding himself.
HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA WHO BE THIS?
DeleteShoot your shot
Delete๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ๐๐พ
anon 17.02 is the voice of reason to save many women’s lives. Love it ๐ฅฐ.
DeleteI concur
DeleteLol…voice of reason because she preaches against a woman who sacrifices 45min of sleep for her hubby? the kind of reason that has led to chronicles like this and more to come? Y’all will learn the harrrrrd way. ๐
Delete1:25
DeleteWife not slave
Poster try to focus on yourself
ReplyDeleteEven in this you brought them in
Go out by yourself sometimes. Join online dating by yourself
And you see those nosy aunties you don’t like, why not ask them if they know someone
There are single guys looking
May God connect you
You are a classy Lady, looking for a classy guy, maybe you all need to come down to a lower level.
ReplyDeleteDon’t oh
DeleteYou go regret
Find someone you match with
Marrying a Nigerian man is already lowering standards.
DeleteHow much lower does she need to ho when the car is already dug in the ground?
20:25 omg ๐
DeleteWhy are you people so foul mouthed? Anon 20.25. Isigini? Let me just laugh ๐ ๐คฃ๐คฃ because you no lie
DeleteAvoid lower level o! That old school advice has now proven to be wrong. Let’s be honest with fellow women and stop pushing them into lies. Never date down!
DeleteUnfortunately, the Bv@20:25 did not tell what race she/he is married to.
DeleteAs you know, even Nigerian men your class are not easy to get as husbands.
So maybe Nigerians knowing themselves very well, don't want to be married to themselves unless there is no other option
The Only suggestion that will not fail you is not to marry below your class. It is not because such men are necessarily bad, but because it will help you take your share of responsibility for the better or best of the marriage. Experience shows that women who actually marry down or believe they marry down, rarely take responsibility for how the marriage goes. In exceptional cases, they over take responsibility, which in the long run, wears them out of the pleasures of the marriage.
Therefore, stay in your class.
Yes oooo
DeleteInfact husband full Mainland
Maybe the five of you your husband's are not on the Island oo
Never say Never...
Check your attitudes and orientation towards marriage.
ReplyDeleteSounds more like "ndi otu" ๐ something. You need to break from that circle.
ReplyDeleteHave you tried:
ReplyDeleteVacation abroad with the aim of getting married to a foreigner?
Putting the word in the mouths of trusted and worthy family members and family friends?
Asking friends beyond your band of 5 how they did it?
Asking your married sisters/female cousins how they did it?
But:
First, ask yourself if you have made any attempt at finding a husband - this is different from making yourself available to be found.
Second, try finding to out why you are unmarried despite wanting to be married.
Sincerely do it on your own.
Then ask a brutally frank person you know who knows you to help by telling you the truth without fear or caring how you take it. Then re-evaluate vis-a-vis your own self appraisal.
Note what a Bv said above. A band of 5 successful women moving close knit is intimidating to any man who is not bigger than you all combined. On the hand, the man who is so big has more eligible female seeking him, and some of the women would do more than you to get him. Separating without separating from your band on this marriage issue should be considered. For example opinions of your friends may only be sought after you have done good work on your next suitor, and you are in a position to answer yes or no on important questions before introducing him to your group.
Poster , there is absolutely nothing wrong with you or your clique… it happens . I have some close friends maybe not same social class but same age and we are all still single. Please disregard what some people saying about cutting off from your friends… why because say una never marry? Like say na crime… please consider looking outside your tribe and race and most especially stop stressing …. Your marriage and that of your friends will come when you least expect it…. Just believe …..๐ซ
ReplyDeletePS if you have the funds please freeze your eggs
You are right
DeleteChange your circle of friends
ReplyDeleteChange your hangout
Change your place of residence
If possible relocate to another city
Some times a friend could drag others backwards without even knowing what is happening around.
Anon 20:24 ๐๐๐
ReplyDeleteThe kinda efforts and thoughts people put into getting married is really alarming. At the end of the day, would it be worth it?
ReplyDeleteMost times being single and living in a world of your own really pays.
Yeah, the idea of companionship sounds great and all but at what expense?
Think less about your age and marriage and focus on you and you alone.
At the end of the day, "que sera, sera."
Points made.
DeleteMajority of marriages are not mutually beneficial to the spouses.
It is mostly a very selfish arrangement. A poverty alleviation on this side of the world where the State has abandoned the people. Or it is used to fulfill the desire of getting children as insurance for old age.
At their age una still they advice them not to date below their class, na the class them carry fir head since wey them take old so una still they advice them about class.
ReplyDeleteSome of them go done reject marriage proposal in the past cause of either carrier or the man no they their class. I done stop to sorry for women oh cause if they wan do you they no they look back. Wicked gender.
You all must accept that you have the power to decide who to date but we have the power to decide if we will marry you or not.
Very true that the typical woman does not "look back" when she has the upper hand.
DeleteAnd na sufferhead for a man to marry up or down sef.
Better for every woman and man to marry dem class - she/he wash plates, he/she split ALL bills equal.
Who no see I'm class marry, should remain single without troubling other marriages in quest of children or palliatives.
See what my spirit is telling me. Since they have been friends, as per clique, maybe they have offended someone in the past who cursed them. You know how rich kids tramples on the poor. You people should join nsppd. What God cannot do does not exist
ReplyDeleteI feel like you guys had way too high standards. And even someone approaches you, you would want validation from your friends. So you're sourcing for the best of the best. Change the narrative and see what happens
ReplyDeleteBe an individual step back from your trauma bond friendship
DeleteNo man wants to marry you with 4 other women who will want to be TOO involved in the marriage
You did not give enough details for us to advice you properly.
ReplyDeleteAs a guy, I will advise dont lower your class just because you want to marry because I have noticed now there are so many guys who are looking for ladies to prey on. They will marry you but you will never enjoy the marriage.
Just be intentional about settling down and be bold.
When you see someone you want, go for him. Tell your Pastor.
But wait ooo, my crazy self is telling me you had eyes for someone before and refused others. You still dey hang around the guy even though you know he will never marry you.
If that is true then you need to change church oo. Your church people already know where your eyes is
Goodadvice from Stella,
ReplyDeleteAlso pray against marital strongholds, foundational issues