Hmmmm......
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
FUNNY BEHAVIOUR
Dear Stella,
This is my story, which is long but I will try to make it short as possible.
I met a guy roughly 1 year ago, a typical church boy. He got really close to me at some point and I felt he was a cool guy. At that point I was already planning japa, but I couldn’t tell him because we were not that close first.
However, He asked me out but he later told me he has plans to japa and I informed him about my plans as well.
Luckily for me my visa to UK came out and it was approved, I was happy about it and I informed him. He shared in my joy and after a month of receiving my work visa he proposed and met my mum.
We agreed to go to court so he would be able to travel to the UK as my partner. At that point it was agreed that he would come to the UK 3 months after my arrival.
I was to start processing his paperwork immediately I get to UK. The engagement and other wedding rites were slated for the third month after my arrival in the UK in my absence.
Unfortunately, after I successfully relocated, he claimed to have misplaced his passport and will have to get a replacement but what I noticed was that he was not taking his relocation process seriously in any way. Initially I would ask the state of things but when it appeared I was too keen on it, I stopped asking about it.
Unfortunately, after I successfully relocated, he claimed to have misplaced his passport and will have to get a replacement but what I noticed was that he was not taking his relocation process seriously in any way. Initially I would ask the state of things but when it appeared I was too keen on it, I stopped asking about it.
6 months after my relocation he is still yet to get his passport. As you are aware, relocation can be quite stressful and I wanted him to be there and encourage me but he wasn’t there. He has been distant and I feel that the connection I thought we had is no longer there.
Also, the agreed engagement and marriage rites have not been fulfilled by him.
He once said that I should move on but he later apologized and retracted his statement. As it is now, it seems he is not willing to relocate anymore or interested in the relationship.
I have thought hard about it and I plan to annul the court wedding as it has not been consummated and we have never lived as husband and wife.
Please what are your thoughts about this and if you have gone through annulment before kindly share your experience so that I know how to go about it.
Thank you.
God is definitely on your side !!!!
This guy just wanted to use you to Japa but God don blind him mind!!
Please annul the nonsense and move on with your life....That move on that he told you was his truth!
Dont apply for him or send anything cos he will abandon you once he enters .....
I agree Stella. This is God at work!
ReplyDeleteDivorce him and move on! It is better this way than for him to come over, use you and dump you!
The way he acting shows he's no longer down with the whole thing. Forget about him.
ReplyDeletePlease annul the scam and move on with your life, I guess he has family somewhere
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Poster once someone tells you something the first time, please take it, never second guess yourself or give him a second chance...His ticket don cut so he is unto the next mugu that will help him relocate on her expense...Thank God for saving you; please annul the marriage immediately....
ReplyDeleteAsk your sibling or family marriage to make enquiries on how to annul the marriage...Congratulations on your successful relocation; your own man will come...
All the best...
God of japa is on your side! Kwechili and divorce him ozugbo!
DeleteNever allow a man tell you twice that he doesn't want you
DeleteSame never allow a woman to tell you she doesn't want the signs are always there.
DeleteIf he wanted to japa, he would have strung you along.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he is afraid you will maltreat him if he japas with your influence.
I don't blame him jo.
Ehen. Because it's funny. If it's because of just japa, na him for dey ginger
DeleteWell said. Japa wey people dey find and Poster wan do.
DeleteSomebody say na God or ticket cut
Our women Sabi find tins to rejoice over men here.
The man no do again and be like person with good heart Simple
He is good because he no do again? Not even logical. How do you know it is not because he feels he has found something or someone that he can better gain from?
DeleteHe is good for not using Poster to Japa seeing that we all have made it appear Poster is his last hope of a good life.
DeleteDid you read the story here of the man married from his country to the Abroad who got there and was covering his wife's face with pillow to 'do", who divorced the woman exactly 2 years, and who returned home to marry another wife with the residency papers he got through the divorced wife?
Poster has been told "no mas". The man wants Poster to be the one cancelling for emotional reasons rather than be the cancelled oñe..
Till we read an update, the man is good.
What's with all these japa?
ReplyDeleteNot everyone is keen on it. Maybe the guy has realised his destiny is in Nigeria. He doesn't know how to tell you he prefers to remain here.
Abi?
DeleteNot everyone likes the UK.
DeleteYou know she hinted he also had plans to relocate even before she divulged her plans to him.
What she failed to detail was his choice of country. I feel his choice of country was different from the poster's but he was somehow cajoled to go along with her country of interest because she relocated first.
He had different plans, but feelings happened and he lost track, cleared his head and decided to stick with his former decision.
That and the fast proposal made him lose interest in everything, I guess.
Words on Marble.
He doesn't want to marry you just to japa ?but you can still help if you want but don't have it in mind that he is going to marry you even if you helped him out
ReplyDeleteHelp? What man with self respect is looking for handouts and "help" as a lifestyle?
DeleteMisplaced his passport indeed. Please annul the marriage as Stella adviced
ReplyDeletePoster if you can, try to find out more. Then free yourself. There are better opportunities.
DeleteIs it impossible to lose a passport? What if he is telling the truth?
DeleteForget him being a church boy he may be a gold digger are you from a rich home? Maybe he thought he would go with you as your dependent, and you get to pay for the plane ticket and everything. But it was suggested he comes alone after you have gone so he lost interest. Who was the person who suggested he should come over three months later? Was it you or your family? Because I know it can't be the guy.
ReplyDeleteIt could also be he was never interested in you like that and only wanted to hit it. He probably did not want to keep you for the long term and did not plan to take you seriously but the moment he realised you were planning to relocate his interest catapulted however when you left he went back to his default mode of disinterest.
Do the needful and cut him off. Focus on your life over there and date extensively. Don't make your dating pool small. Date people from other nationalities and move on. You will be fine.
Really Gold digger na him nor japa the guy don chop clean mouth not every body wants to japa
DeleteYou people always have a way of painting a guy black.
DeleteHe did not have any sexual dealings with the OP. He didn't collect money from her . He doesn't even want to use her as a means to japa.
But somehow, the narrative must be twisted to make the man look bad.
What if the lady's behaviour is bad and he just doesn't want to commit himself any further? Haven't you guys thought about that
ReplyDeleteIs UK heaven? Imagine leaving Nigeria for UK.
Na some people heaven
Delete@anon 15:34, UK,US, the whole of the Western world is not heaven. .BUT you see your Nigeria, Na HELL on earth!!!
DeletePoster you suppose go Church do thanksgiving for taking this demon out of your life.
ReplyDeleteHe be wan use u. He is a joker
How is he a demon? You people will just open mouth waaaa and be talking rubbish. May God have mercy on you.
DeleteWhat did the guy do that turned him to a demon? What's this beef you people have against men?
DeleteMove on dear God will give you your own man
ReplyDeleteMy dear annul the marriage and move on with your life.
ReplyDeleteThis is God doing and is Mavelouse in our eyes. U better thank God say nonsense Japa danu from your life, I beg many 🐟 in ocean.
ReplyDeleteMaybe he has found someone that will take him to Canada or America that’s why he’s no longer interested in japaing to the UK. My Advise for those japaing, please japa without doing sharp sharp marriage with any emergency man, you will meet your husband when you get to your location and keep your japa plans to yourself and not to any devil sent toaster.
ReplyDeleteLol..
ReplyDeleteOnly one difference in your story and someone I know is that they didn't marry.
The guy is still relocating soon but to a different country,.
Why? They girl began to exhibit the stupidest behaviour after she 'japad'..
I don't want to go into things she said and did that made the guy reconsider his relocation to the UK to meet her and get married as I don't know who might be reading this,.. .but Trust me, she became toxic..
She'll find out and understand soon when the guy contacts her from the country he is moving to..
Don't mind that one up there calling someone better than her demon. Sometimes I wonder how some of you think and behave in real life. Mtcheeeeeewwww
DeleteWhy can’t he just tell her he no do again
DeleteUna too dey like to show girls pepper
I also know of a similar story but the guy was running two girls at the same time. One relocating to the UK and the other one to the US. His preference was the US but the UK one was progressing faster so he put his focus on that one. Once movement started accelerating on the US one he did something similar to what is being done to the poster. I think he’s relocated to the US now. Some people just play games and spread their bets; not everything is bad behaviour of the woman.
DeleteNo body will read it in Jesus name.
DeleteOya gist us na. Thank you
16:55
DeleteHe can't tell her because no courage, confused creatures
Just move on like he said. He is no longer interested.
ReplyDeletePlease, free him. He was never into you. He had absolutely no plans of relocating.
ReplyDeleteHe might be a Church boy that does not make him a Child of God.
If you continue with him you will be building your marriage foundation on so much lies.
I wonder why you went to court with him in the first place. There are many gold diggers out there, its now comon for guys to be gold diggers. Its better to focus on your life and move on. He is not a serious guy, cut off the communication
ReplyDeleteNot only gold diggers but resentful ungrateful and destructive users
DeleteSomeone that really loves you and wants to be with you wouldn't want to lose you. He told you to move on and later apologized. with all you described up there, it's obvious he is not really Into you.
ReplyDeleteJust be playing along but don't waste time. Be doing your thing, loving yourself and if there is someone serious give him a chance.
Men that know what they want stick to it
Someone that really loves you and wants to be with you wouldn't want to lose you. He told you to move on and later apologized. with all you described up there, it's obvious he is not really Into you.
ReplyDeleteJust be playing along but don't waste time. Be doing your thing, loving yourself and if there is someone serious give him a chance.
Men that know what they want stick to it
He is not sure he wants to marry you. He felt pressured because you had to leave the country soon, so he proposed in haste.
ReplyDeleteHe took a step back to think about what he was doing and the speed at which you both were moving and decided he didn't want to make such a lifetime decision in a hurry. Yes, In the spur of the moment he proposed because he was scared of losing you but he did some soul-searching and felt he hadn't dated you long enough to decide if he wanted to spend forever with you.
He wasn't sure if he proposed because he loved you or due to fear of losing what you were nurturing(the blossoming relationship) considering you were moving to a different country. He proposed quickly - a proposal, I believe he wouldn't have done so soon considering you both were still trying to get to know each other.
He got exhausted from the immense pressure brought about by the sudden plan and withdrew.
I won't say he doesn't love you but he is not sure he loves you enough or just the right amount to be tied to you forever on just a short notice so he pulled out of everything.
He probably felt everything was happening rather too fast.
Marriage is not a decision you make on a whim or due to pressure. He saved you from a whole lot because you wouldn't want to marry someone who keeps wondering if they would have ended up with you if the situation was different.
Words on Marble.
The most reasonable comment here
DeleteHmmm another interesting angle 🤔🤔 but he should have come out straight instead taking this route. He is giving some fcuk boy vibes.
DeleteJust move on,he is not trustworthy......... Josaria
ReplyDeleteJust move on,he is not trustworthy......... Josaria
ReplyDeleteyou should forget about him and move on with your life. Nothing to worry about here, just face front. Happy you have not completed the marriage rite. Just ask your family to refund him and you are good to go. Guy man is not ready for something serious with you.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is complete.
DeleteWe always find ground for our actions.
Poster knows she is fully married.
This second gender eeh, fear them, abeg u go see beta guy
ReplyDeleteI don't think that guy wanted to use you to Japa, he probably has found someone else hence the cold feet, let things be as they are for now, and try and ease into moving on.
ReplyDeleteFact is the guy has a reason but you don’t know what it is and that bothers you
ReplyDeleteHe’s not been honest with you but doesn’t mean he wants to use you
My relative didn’t japa cause they told him the lady will turn to something else but they’re in Nigeria asking those that japa’d for help
Why not talk to him well to find out what’s going on and then you decide
I don't know sha.
ReplyDeleteBut you two should really talk at length.
Not like you pressurizing him. Just heart to heart talk. I mean,you two loved your self enough to get married.
How about you ask him to confide in you . Let him see reasons as to doing that. You are now man and wife and will have to do life together.
Pour your heart to him. Let him know how you feel.
If you love him, cherish him,long for him and want him over with you. Then be vocal about how you feel. About these things.
You know your relationship better. All through best
Let your mom speak with him. Or your sibling even.
No need
DeleteThe other day, a man sent a chronicle about sensing cold feet from his woman who had relocated abroad ahead or however. No comment named or called out the woman. She got several alibis. He got some cold comforting words. But here this man gets names.
ReplyDeleteYa own na so so gender war.
DeleteI am surprised people bring there problems here expecting to get genuine advice. From bitter women here?
DeleteYou didn’t read the comments well that day
Delete😁 @20:03
DeleteNa becos the tin don taya me here. E dey remove fun and learning from the comments section of posts.
Poster knows in her heart that the man is gone and that the marriage no longer exists. She asked for tips on how to get it annulled. Yet we have comments abusing and whipping the man, that her head forbids bad things, telling her to thank God, etc.
It is funny some women think men do not have cold feet, doubts, and regrets after the marriage ceremony just as women do. Or is it because japa is in this matter that the man is expected to be over earnest or is bad if not.
Have we not read here of a wife who did not want to relocate to meet her husband?
Read the comments again. Only one or two talked tangentially about the annulment procedure she sought advice or help on.
All the female lawyers on the blog went on leave. If it was about a woman refusing to share custody of children, one would have claimed to be an old wig giving advice to counter a balanced comment by another Bv.
My comment on the Poster's real question is for her to ask her family in Nigeria to help her find a good family law practitioner with success track records. Such lawyer will help her navigate the ending of the marriage between her and her husband. She wants annulment. Whether she can get it or not depends on how she manages the process under expert guidance. It is also in the interest of the man that the marriage be annulled. If the process is structured to avoid blaming any of the parties, it can be done easily to their mutual benefit. But if the bole ka ja approach is taken, it may also work to one party's or none of the parties' favour.
Poster, seek a family law specialist and here is wishing you the best.
Annul the marriage do not Divorce. There is a difference. Anyways since you got married in Nigeria, there is no big deal. Your kind of marriage does not warrant a divorce. Divorce had a dent. Annul is as good as not getting married at all. So you are a Miss and not Ms.
ReplyDeleteAnon19:16 Miss and Ms, what's the difference?
DeletePoster please follow Mrs korkus advice.....
ReplyDeleteYou’ve dodged a bullet or two. You rock, girl 👏 !!! Your head dey forbid bad thing. God is really fighting your fight. You will get your joy and it will be full.
ReplyDeleteHow exactly did she dodge a bullet? What if it is the guy that dodged the bullet?
DeleteExactly what Stella said he couldn't even pretend for long. Na wa
ReplyDeleteFunny comments even SDK the guy nor wan japa with you ,he don see some things wen he nor like or cope with ,the guy too dey thank God for he own life marriage or relationship nor be by japa.
ReplyDeletejust give am divorce and move on.
If you nor post my comment chop am
Forget about him and move on..
ReplyDeleteAll the best
What is there to think about???
ReplyDeleteEven a terminally blind person can see what is happening.
Why are you still dragging foot about someone you should have flung away like a smelling tissue long before you.
Do you need a prophet to understand that he is NOT INTERESTED IN YOU???
Why were you facilitating his travel documents etc? What happened uo his hands abs brain? Gone with the wind too?
Is he an illiterate?
Gosh.