Hmmmm....
WRONG MOVE?
My co- wife( husband's older brothers wife) travelled with her children during the festive period,while they were packing their bags inside the sienna they chattered,I came downstairs (we live in same building but different flats)and begged her to put a canned 500ml of honey in the car that my mom will come in the evening to take it,my husband's house is not far from my father's house.
She said No oo, there's no space in the car,I told her that one of her children can hold it or they can drop it anywhere inside the car because it's in a plastic container not bottle,she said I should have told her before today,I explained to her that it's just a small thing and I felt handing it over to her while they're packing their bags inside the car will be better but she still said there's no space.
I told her no problem ,i will find another way to send it to the village,I quietly went upstairs,I was expecting her to call me back while I was going but she didn't. Did I do wrong by not telling her the previous day?
Well, she may have probably wanted to pray over it before travelling with it..Some people have trust issues and scared of these kinds of things...If it is me as well, i will not take it from you cos you should have told me the day before..Please dont let it cause any wahala between you both..... She did the right thing by refusing.....
let me give you an example, if they had experienced any problem or had a crash, you would have been suspect number one....Understand?
She don tell you who she better, relate with her accordingly, if it happens to me, it will pain me and I will never be close to such person again. Her mind is not pure towards you, there's a secret battle that you're not aware of
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Na wa for you stella oo
DeleteTrust issue ontop a bottle of honey, na wa o, if I'm the wife, I will collect the bottle and peradventure anything happens on the way, I would never have thought the bottle or my co-wife has any connections with the incident.
DeletePoster, as e don be like this, dey your dey, make she dey her dey too.
I understand her side but I would have taken it đ
ReplyDeleteThat is mean of her even if it is juju can't she trust her husband brother wife,anyway different families with their problem ,we can't judge fairly because she is not here and she has giving you her reason so no need to raise any issue,next time inform her in time.
ReplyDelete@goke it's very easy for you to say when you're not wearing the shoes
DeleteYou don’t know the battles she’s fighting or has fought in her life. Maybe she has trust issues. You see, why would you give someone travelling with her entire family an item to put in her car when you or any of your kids aren’t in the same vehicle? You be winch in?
ReplyDeleteAbeg, free the woman joor?
I don’t carry stuff for people while travelling and I don’t send people same either.
Anon 15:16, mind you this is not just people but her co-wife. That's insensitive if ask me, I can't even do that to my neighbor talk more of a family member. She won't have died if she collect it from her. Anyway people differs someone like me use to go out of my way to please others just to make them happy even if I am not part of the happiness. As far as others surrounding me are happy am cool with it
DeleteI didn't buy into Stella's Blue pen today. Thank you.
This is not really a yes or no thing.
ReplyDeleteFirst things first, you don't show up impromptu. You should have told her the moment you promised your mum the honey. That way they're prepared that they're carrying extra luggage.
Two. You couldn't even help them pack, but waited for them to finish then want to add extra to them.
Thirdly, some people don't like going on these errands because of what they have suffered. Maybe something happens. You may begin to accuse her saying she's the one who transported it, hence the culprit.
Even drivers that do weighbill. They ask questions very well and reject some.
So, no problem. Send it another way.
With the way you left them, she too will feel some way. Anyhow sha.
Everyone is entitled to their tradition
Even if you wanted her to carry a pack of salt, you should have told her a day before.
ReplyDeleteYes, she should had told her before the day she was traveling except the decision was made that day. The other wife is blunt and straight forward, you stay in the same building so no excuse for you to tell her that day.
DeleteWhat’s the difference
Delete16:06, the difference is planning. U dnt jst bump into ppl’s plans like that, you inform them before hand. No be she buy car for them, no be she organise their journey, learn to respect ppl’s plans and space.
Delete18:30 nothing to plan
DeleteIt’s just a small bottle
Wow what a mean woman. Overlook this and kill her with love
ReplyDelete
DeleteYou should have told her before the traveling date..
But if is me ooo I will collect it shebi is just small bottle
Wetin no heavy...
Anyways just let it slide
Pele...
In southern Nigeria, everyone is a witch or a wizard or an apprentice witch or wizard. You guys always think the next person is up to no good. Haaaaa! đĄđĄđĄđĄđĄđĄđĄ
ReplyDeleteIn other parts of the country, she would have accepted the honey without objection and delivered it to the person she was sent to. Southerners lack empathy.
That's why northerns will always be united. They don't think like this at alll
DeleteIt’s too much church
Delete@Binam leave southerners alone.
DeleteThere's a lot of wickedness in the country not just in one region.
Besides, poster's co-wife was upfront in her refusal to help deliver the can of honey for reasons best known to her.
"No" is also an answer and the recipient should accept it.
Honestly Binam, i’m a hausa girl, and some things i read here ehn, i get beyond shocked. I am beginning to feel we northerners are too carefree.
DeleteOrdinary bottle of honey she needs to write letter to Tinubu before sending it. Nawa ooo
DeleteYou should have informed her prior. It's edible and most people don't like carrying edible items that don't belong to them because of poisoning and other stories that touch. It's nothing personal.
ReplyDeleteAre they not family, haba na wa oo
DeleteHoney is the only food that cannot spoil, nobody is going to get food poisoning from 100% pure unadulterated honey.
DeleteYou are not wrong, and she's not wrong too for rejecting
ReplyDeleteThe world we are in now,e reach to dey suspect everybody oo
But just tell her how she made you feel,if you are upset with her
One love đ
Binam, you are very right.
ReplyDeleteMy sister nothing bad for wetin she do o, u guys may laugh together but no be for some kind levels o.
ReplyDeleteAbeg next time inform her earlier or better still do your stuff yourself.Una no relate by đ©žso know your boundaries.
Merryment
It’s ok to say ‘no’ to requests one is not so comfortable with. She was graceful enough to even give you her reasons for refusal. Accept it with grace and maturity and move on.
ReplyDeleteI understand it may have made you sad but in life you should understand you can’t always control other peoples actions towards you but you can control how you react to it. Now you know your position in her life, that she doesn’t care much to inconvenience herself to please you, adjust and place her accordingly in your own life.
Look for other means to send it to your mom. Life should not be is that hard.
Na wa o, people can read meaning to things sha. Wetin concern sending honey to a parent with witch craft. Poster if I be you I don draw line be that o. For a co wife to be thinking such about another Co wife. Mbanu. By the way am from the middle belt.
ReplyDeleteYou should have told her before that day, you should have also helped in packing the luggage. She might not have anything in mind for you but against impromptu luggage. Just take it as one of those things from human
ReplyDeleteNo to either. The woman just did not want to carry the item and looked for any excuse. So had she given her two weeks advance notice it would made the space be found that couldn’t be found then. Do you know how small a 500ml bottle is, it could have fit even in the glove compartment.
DeleteYou should have told her before,though I will help,if it was me.
ReplyDeletePoster way bill the honey or better still carry it along with you,if tomorrow now your mother starts complaining of stomach ache,u Mrs poster will be the first to accuse your co- wife of poising the honey you gave to her to deliver to your mom,in this hard times you don't give a third party food stuff to deliver to anybody,please carry your pettiness away,your co- wife did the right thing.
ReplyDeleteI don't understand the helping her to pack đ
ReplyDeleteOk eg: kpom kpom kpom
Who is on the door?
Na me your co-wife, I come help you pack the things u want use travel đđđđ
Only in SDK do we form wet in no good!
It's well
ReplyDeleteYou should have told her before that day, she's right. There no need for you to be angry.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, this is a tricky matter, have you ever asked her a favour before and she granted it? If yes, ignore this incident. If this is the first time you have ever asked her a favour then use the incident to have an understanding of your place in her life and stay your lane. Laugh and chat just the same, but remember that she is not a friend. This was a small test, imagine if something catastrophic was to happen, like some natural disaster where you have to depend on each other, know that this is someone who would never inconvenience themselves for you and would likely not share any necessities. Take on a spirit of putting your house in order, as close as she lives don’t look in that direction. So, be aware and never ask for any favour again if this was the first time you asked any request. Send the honey by some other method, yes you will have to pay out of pocket, but if your mother needs it and cannot wait until you are able to get to her then send it. Don’t use this experience to do any tit for tat, gist, laugh and get together just the same with her like before, but understand where you stand and don’t overstep her boundaries.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteThe most complex B
Either she is right or wrong u see this thing she started if na me I will revenge, I will so do u that u will regret what u did to me.. So don't even show her u feel bad just give her the space she's asking for..
ReplyDeleteI remember my parents were overweight at the airport on one of their travels and another passenger packed their overweight items in his luggage and gave it to them when they arrived. Helping ppl do not require advance notice and knowledge, if you want to help them you will help them in the blink of an eye. And in this case it is family and one small item. Please! Don’t let it cause any family wahala, forget it but know where you stand. Bout tell her the day before. Mtsscchhwww
ReplyDeleteMay we not help into problem, warn your parents about doing that next time , drugs smuggling is real
DeleteMay we not help into problem, warn your parents about doing that next time , drugs smuggling is real
DeleteAnon 20:51, your head dey there, I used to be that carefree, thinking-everyone-has-pure heart-like-me person until one colleague that didn't like me came to enter my car to go to gym, na so I get accident the next day. It seemed so unusual the way it happened, I knew it was an attack.
DeleteThen her friend that came with her to my house that day kept monitoring me closely and causing disturbances for me at work, at her wedding, she was so bitter that I didn't coordinate food for the people I came with, I told her we don't mind cos they started late. The way she was so angry made it clear there was a plan for that food. Now, I have legit trust issues.
I doubt it had anything to do with you. If it was someone else who requested same thing, her response would have stayed the same.
ReplyDeleteWords on Marble.
Wow. What Stella said. I no dey think far like that. I would have definitely collected it without blinking. But I don learn today
ReplyDeleteGod thank you for creating me with a pure heart.
ReplyDeleteTỄfá»akwa Ăčnu.
Everyone is a suspect now.. May God save me from family enemies.
Binam your head they theređ. Everybody na witch for my Southern people.
ReplyDeleteLet's look at it this way. I might be wrong or right to some people. I am.not sure both of you are very close and you must be far her junior reason why you should have informed her even a day ahead. Secondly I see her feeling the pressure of travelling emotionally and financially, thus she will not agree to be an errand girl. People are different so try and build a better relationship with her.
ReplyDeleteLet's look at it this way. I might be wrong or right to some people. I am.not sure both of you are very close and you must be far her junior reason why you should have informed her even a day ahead. Secondly I see her feeling the pressure of travelling emotionally and financially, thus she will not agree to be an errand girl. People are different so try and build a better relationship with her.
ReplyDelete