Hmmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED
Good Day my dear BVs
So we moved into a new apartment like 5months ago, and our securitys daughter is about 12yrs while my daughter is 6.
My daughter likes going to stay with the girl/play with her.
Few months ago she told me that the girl was asking her why her mum and her dad quarreled the night before.
That night I did not quarrel with my husband but she told my daughter she heard us quarreling. My daughter told her that we did not quarre.
2nights ago me and my husband had a serious misunderstanding and the next day, this girl asked my daughter why we were fighting, if I was crying and my daughter said we never had a fight(it happened while she was asleep).
How do I handle this please, I want to go and warn the girl to stop asking my daughter such questions.....
You want to go and warn a minor? Madam you have no right to do this...If this little girl is talking then, everyone else might be talking.... I suggest you stop having these loud fights and have a convo with your husband cause serious physical and verbal loud altercations seem to be going on in your home...
Sort that out and DO NOT GO AND WARN that minor or you will escalate the matter...
I am even shocked that you want to go and warn someones daughter not to talk about what she hears...
Fix your issue with your husband and leave the poor girl alone.Shes a child and hears you guys arguing.
ReplyDeletePoster also said the girl had asked that even when the fight did not even happen, so my advise is limit your daughter's time with her, please don't go and warn her oo
DeletePerfect opinion Ada. She needs to start limiting the play time her daughter spends with the older girl. Besides the age gap is much.
DeleteYou want to go and warn her ke! Madam, even if you hubby quarrel, which is normal (not fight o), it shouldn't be loud na. Try resolve your issues quietly.
ReplyDeleteAs you follow Stella's advise by stopping the loud 'fights', stop your daughter from associating with her unsupervised. That friendship is not necessary.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have to 'Warn' the girl, just gently tell her to learn to mind her family's business.
Do you have another friend for the girl
Delete@15:27 So if the 12yr old wasn't there in the first place, will the 6yr old not survive?
DeleteZero friend is better than bad friend.
Problem no dey finish for this country
DeleteAnon 15:27, there's no value in the friendship, the poster shd not ask, but prevent such occurrence be end the situationship.
DeleteShe’s not a bad friend
DeleteKids talk get over yourselves
You kill this friendship and you’ve taught your child not to tell you stuff cause you overreacted
You are not ashame of your self and the humiliation you people are causing it is a small girl you wanted to go and warn ?why not ask your daughter to stop going to her and see how you will be disgraced because you daughter will tell her why you didn't want her to go to her place,Better find a way to sort out your differences with your husband in a peaceful manner.
ReplyDeleteWhether it was that night or another night the girl sha heard you quarreling
ReplyDeleteKids don’t always have details correct but she heard what she heard
Be happy your child has a friend to speak with and change you guys ways instead of killing the friendship she has found
In fact take it one step further and apologize to the girl for disturbing her sleep and buy her something for Christmas
Loooool you're so right
DeleteDiscuss it with your husband, and try as much as possible to avoid the noise whenever both of you have issues. Though in some cases, it is inevitable. Another option, which might be extreme, is to possibly change your security to one that doesn't have a minor staying with them.
ReplyDeleteMadam warner. Unto Warner Bros Inc. wey you be abi?
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, it shows a fundamental breakdown of the laws of communication that you and your husband allow matters degenerate to a level of heated arguments that can be heard outside. The little girl ain't your problem. The poor example you are setting for your daughter is.
Maybe reduce ur tone when u quarrel. Why are u even quarreling to the extent that people outside can hear you. The kid is just being a kid. The fault is strictly from u and ur husband
ReplyDeleteIf a 12-year-old is talking and asking questions, best believe that other people are talking as well. If you can't sort out issues with your spouse without shouting until all the neighbours hear, then you have a problem.
ReplyDeleteFind a much mature way of disagreeing with your husband. If the 12 years old can hear you, the whole street does.
ReplyDeleteThe energy you want to use to warn a 12year old should be channeled productively into resolving whatever it is that is making your and your hubby have constant quarrels, to the extent of being overheard by others
ReplyDeleteSeems like you and your husband needs to change your communication style. Perhaps where you lived before you are used to loud talking and the loud style of communicating which can be interpreted as arguing by others. The fact that you thought of going to the little girl sheds a light on your personality, perhaps you are a confrontational and combative person, maybe you are not. It is obvious that you have moved into a quiet place and the behaviour of your husband and yourself has disturbed the peace of the place. If the young girl was used to hearing arguments it would be normal for her and she would not care what ppl were arguing about or think to ask your daughter. You may also want to meet the child’s mother and get to know the ppl whose daughter is spending so much time with.
ReplyDeleteNobody likes to be shown up, but perhaps this experience has occurred to allow for change in the way you and your husband communicate and treat each other. Also remember that your daughter is learning from both of you, so whatever you are doing at home stands a high chance that it will be how she believes ppl communicate and treat each other in marriage.
Oh yeah,you want to go and warn a child but cannot use your tongue to count your teeth. Oriegwu 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteIf you want the whole street to know your business, that one no concern me. My concern if for your daughter. If that 12 year old lives in a room with her parents, chances are that she knows more than a typical 12 year old. As your child is always going to play with her, make sure that play is supervised. Na so a boy that lives with my sister's neighbor dey always come play with my nephew. They would be in his room playing with his toys or so she thought. Na kissing and such things the silly boy begin dey do with my nephew. If not that my sis noticed behavioral changes such as him not wanting to be hugged or kissed by her and gently coerced him into telling her what was going on, na only God knows where we for dey. Please teach your daughter about her body parts that are out of bounds to others and what to do if anyone tries to touch her.
ReplyDeleteExactly the 12 years old is already talking like a teenager and her daughter is 6yrs old , so there is no other topic she will tell her daughter apart from them fighting or arguing, madam poster mend fences with your husband,reduce confrontations that involves shouting and telling the whole neighborhood you guys have issues it's not good , for a 12 yrs old to know this things are not ok, reduce your daughters friendship with her simple
DeleteHmmmmmmm 12 years old looking for what to gossip with nawahoooo
ReplyDeletePosters child just used the 12 year old to speak her mind
DeleteHer child heard her too
What exactly will you tell this little girl?
ReplyDeletePlease stop your daughter from going there, this the only way you can handle this.
Stop your daughter from spending time with that other girl.
ReplyDeleteDon't warn the girl.
You and your man should learn to fight in low tones.
Please, limit the times your kids plays with the child if possible avoid it. The parents are gossip!
ReplyDeleteIf she gets the response from the girl, what will a little girl like her do with it? Why will a child be eavesdropping to another family’s conversation?
Does she not go to bed like every other child? In my family my parents taught us to mind our business all the time.
Please, just know a better way to handle things with your husband. It’s not always easy and remember no family is perfect but with God all things are possible🙏
EUM Cali
Lol why bring in the parents
DeleteThe girl has ears
Very simple, stop your daughter from going there. Something are spiritual
ReplyDeleteMy suspicion too
DeleteMadam please do not warn anyone, 12years old is still a child!
ReplyDeleteYou can only fix this by toning the quarrel/ argument down with your husband!
Hmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteThe most complex B
Poster you must be joking 🤣 😐 😂 🙄 😳 😒 🤣 you want to go and warn her to stop asking your daughter, I was expecting you to say you want to stop having loud figgt with your husband but nope you want to double shame yourself.
ReplyDeleteYou can also stop your daughter from visiting the girl to avoid the questioning 🙂 😉 😏 🙃 tell your husband that neibours are talking, that you both need to grow up as adults 😉 😀
Poster, you are the one to sort yourself out with your husband. Just like you can stop a dog from barking, so also a child. They are inquisitive. She will say whatever she sees or hear, that's children for you and you can't stop it. It means you raise your voice when quarrelling for her to notice that you are always quarrelling. Fix your home.
ReplyDeleteSo na gossip levels. You better mind your business in the block. Keep your daughter home or find other playmates for her. Also stop fighting with your husband.
ReplyDeleteMadam please bridle your tongue. You too dey like quarrel sha. Why go and face a 12 year old? Haba! No wonder you argue so much with your husband. You don't have to raise your voice when you have a disagreement. In fact practice keeping quiet when your husband is angry whether you are in the right or not. Please try and learn some of the fruit of the spirit.
ReplyDeleteDon't go and warn that girlooo. Just put a stop for the friendship between your daughter and her shikenan.
ReplyDeleteInstead of her to think of how to change and stop fighting with her husband, she's looking for who to warn.
ReplyDeleteYou go warn tire!😏😎
Stop your daughter from playing with her. She is too old to be your daughter's playmate abeg. Their age mates are in JS 2 or 3 and Grade 1 or 2. You don't want her teaching your kids things that are too advanced for her age. I don't even let my 6 year old spend time with his older cousins without supervision because I realized that the contents they watch or things they talk about are too advanced for a 6 year old. Also talk to your husband so you both can lower your voice when arguing.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeletePoster pray
This one wey dey see and ask about quarrel before e happen
Exactly
DeletePoster pray
This one wey dey see and ask about quarrel before e happen
Work on yourself madam or put your home in order.
ReplyDeleteI was expecting you to go and talk to your husband to bring your voices down when having an argument, but no, you want to warn someone who doesn't even understand life yet. Na wa
ReplyDeleteHmmm...
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm this is hard ooooooo
ReplyDeleteDear poster I think you should try and limit the time your daughter use with the girl.
Madam poster fix your home and allow this children to be.
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, the narrative comes across like the poster is toxic. Appears like there’s always one argument or another in their home and if you live with neighbours, they’ll definitely wanna know why?
ReplyDeleteTo think poster is considering a confrontation with a minor shows poster is confrontational and a confrontational wife will always have domestic violence issues with her husband .
Madam poster go seek counselling, fix your marital relationship to stop the regular fights with your husband. If that’s done, there willl be nothing for both little girls to talk about.
Good luck 🤞
The energy and time that you will use to go and warn a girl why not use it to solve the issues between you and your husband?
ReplyDeleteDon't sweep issues under the carpet, you both should sit and talk about the things constantly making you guys to querrel.