FUNNY SITUATION
Please I need your inputs on this matter, so I'm married to the eldest son in a family of 7.
My mother in law is the sweetest human,so when I gave birth she came for omugwo since my mum was very sick at the time,she took care of me like her own daughter so when it was time for us to give our baby name,I told her any name she chooses for the baby I'm ok with it, so she gave my baby David.
My husband's immediate younger brother gave birth and named his own baby David too knowing fully well that his brother's son is David and we all bear same surname,so now the two boys now bear David Ezeaka Mba(not real names) I just feel the brother is up to something but I've not told my husband anything about it as he doesn't see anything wrong with it if not he would have complained to me.
My husband is the eldest like I said,and he has a big house he started building in the village even before we got married which he told me before marriage,he told me that particular house is going to be a family house cos their dad only left one small old building of 2 rooms for them and I said no problem after all you don't expect me to go live in the village because of a house and I honestly don't have a problem with it cos his mom lives in the village with some of his siblings including this his immediate younger brother and they all live in that house,so if he can afford to build a house that will accommodate everyone,why should I stop him?
Now,this his younger brother is the one in charge of everything when the project was going on,my husband only sends money to him for the project,the house was 100 percent built and furnished by my husband,we don't have the intention of ever selling or sending anyone out of the house one day cos my husband and his siblings are very close but my question is why will he name his child same name as mine knowing fully well that we all bear the same surname,does it have anything to do with him wanting to take over the house since the house documents are with him or there's nothing there.
I'm not concerned about the house cos I don't even visit the village every year more like once in 2years but I just want to know the kind of person I'm dealing with...
Hmmm this sounds really complicated!!!
To avoid trouble brewing, just give your son another name and let the David not be his main name.
Your brother in law prbably does not know the implication of people with same name in the same family or he did it to get rid of your son and have his oqn inherit the property.... I am not saying this is what it is oh, i am saying this is what it looks like.... I may be wrong though.
Like I always, we all know what we are doing.
ReplyDeleteTrade with caution please. Because is a family issue….this name issue can bring a disunity in the family…please don’t create issue out of it. his brother may have plans or he may just be doing it, out of love for his brother…just add a sweet meaningful native name instead. Or better change all the land document to mr Ezeaka and mr jane Mba (for example)….so that the property will be safe. If you are afraid because of the future or property…….
DeleteWhat about the middle name? You can add another name to your son's name.
ReplyDeleteHe can be David Chidiebere Ezeaku MBA to differentiate him from his cousin.
Thanks. May God reward your wisdom to your profit. @15:12
DeleteExactly my thoughts @ anonymous 15:12
DeleteNo need to sweat. Start using your son's middle name. You guys should effect any changes to this. Chinenye David Ezeake,to avoid trouble. Na affidavit you go swear.
ReplyDeleteYour suspicion might be valid. Stella's advise is also good, but in all this discuss with your husband. The next baby no go ask mama again ooo. Before mama go give the baby name JAGABAN
ReplyDeleteJust change your son's name on birth certificate let David be his middle name but use style tell your husband you love to use the name he or you personally gave the boy as his first name and the one his mother gives as middle name. Don't raise your concern about his brother because it may complicate matters. Do everything codedly and start calling your boy by the new first name and let him also answer to David. People can be wicked but you need to be a step ahead.
ReplyDeletePlease don’t use David as his middle name. David remains his first name then add other names but in any documents you both are leaving to him, use all the names. If you both want to use Mr & Mrs Emeka Mba, please include your husband’s other names on the documents or one of yours. Your husband needs to get a lawyer to draft a document that covers his child (ren) with their full names.
DeleteThat BIL of yours is definitely upto something. If Mama is turning a blind eye to it, then she is in it also.
As long as the middle names are different and quoted in full on all documents then there should be no wahala.
DeleteMe I did not see anything wrong with cousins bearing same name, in my family, the most popular name is Magnus, and Michael, guys that bears this name in my family are more than 4. And we all bears same surname.
ReplyDeleteWell said
DeleteMe too, I don't see anything wrong with it. David is a very popular name so💁♀️. Poster if it bothers you, start using your son's middle name like people suggested.
DeleteCousins can bear thesame name if their dads aren't bearing same surname. Eg. If the sister to my father has a son that bears same name with my brother, there won't be any issues because we all know that since my father's sister is married to another family, there is no way their surnames can be conflicting, yet they are cousins. Check the type of cousins you discribed there.
DeleteGive your son another native name and also get your husband to pick the land documents from him.
ReplyDeleteUse different names excluding David from your child's documents and start addressing your child by his native name instead.
ReplyDeleteLeave your husband out of this and just let him know that you don't think it will be okay for two kids to be confused especially when they hear their name during family gatherings.
I dislike contentious sneaky people.
Truly
DeleteI have never heard of this before. Why would he do that? I am shocked that nobody guided him against such a plan, all the names in the world and the only one he could find is the same name as your child’s that he clearly knew….hmmmm
ReplyDeleteChange your child’s legal name. You can keep the David for pet name if you want, but change the legal name. It will come with some annoyance and fees, but it is easier to do now than wait later.
There is nothing much about the name, my maternal grandma named my cousin my first name and surprisingly that is her main name too. My mum and her immediate younger sister both bear Mama Sosooo (same name) we are both firstborn, though my grandma gave me a different name which I use as my second name, she thought of giving another variance of my second name to my cousin
DeleteIt’s not complicated anything Stella,this poster is just trying to create wahala between two brothers.Your husband started building the house before he married you and told you it’s a family house so remove your eyes from the house.
ReplyDeleteExactly! My brother bears Liam ( not his real name) and my cousin also bears Liam. My aunt heard the name Liam and fell in love with it.
DeleteReal sabi BV. Spot on @15:31
DeleteIf they have exact same names without different middle names, how do you legally differentiate them ? People don't understand that what they are comfortable with at home may not fly in a court of law.
DeletePoster add a different middle name and make it official i.e get an affidavit, newspaper publication etc to make it legal. Then ensure to include it in your son's school records etc. Don't just start calling him a name that is not included in his birth certificate and birth records without going through the official process.
Unless your husband intends to leave the house for him, let him go and get the documents back.
17:24 they’ll use date of birth
Delete17:40 God go bless you.DOB sorts it out and poster,please remove your eyes from that house.Its your husbands family house.
DeleteDon't mind this wahala poster. Causing problems where there's none.
DeleteIt's no big deal, my two older brothers named their first sons after my Dad cos they love my Dad so much. Madam don't look for trouble when there's none.
ReplyDeleteI just dey laugh here. Ignorance na big trouble enabler.. 😄 😄
DeleteMy last son bears same English name as my BIL.
My BIL son bears his father's English name too.
See how far you have taught about property that is in the village. Everyone knows that the first son owns his father land(obi)
Poster, you are too less busy and property minded to be thinking this far. Don't be the devil advocate..
Pray for your children to make it better than thier father in life. With Japa syndrome, your children might never live in Nigeria in the future. Don't you like better country? 🤷♀️
Onye okwu na uka ka ibu.
Village land inheritance dey get papers? Maybe your husband bought a piece of land for the building. Pray for upliftment, you go build on arcers for
It’s okay
ReplyDeleteA few of my mothers siblings named their kid after her. She was pretty much their mother so a few have the name
Hmmm poster I'm not comfortable with the boys having same name fa. I suggest you add another name to your son's name maybe a different tribal name.
ReplyDeleteThis life, some people can be trickish,one needs to be alert 24/7.
Some women are just too wicked and troublesome and if the trouble you are looking for find you ,you will be telling people that inlaws are wicked ,madam what concerns you with property your husband started before you were married or the name of your brother in-law son,it is because you are not hungry .Better face your family and don't cause trouble between two brother.
ReplyDeleteLol. But Truthfully said.
DeleteWell said 👌
DeleteWhen trouble will arise in future between the both wives and their children that is when you will know that everything concerns her there. Go and aske people that has experienced things in life. You have not seen anything.
DeleteSlim,
DeleteSo the names of the cousins is not the meat of the chronicle.
The real issue is that the papers of the house are in her brother-in-law's hands and she is afraid that the brother will claim it for himself when the mother pass. Every other this and that in the chronicle are like leaves used in wrapping moin-moin for cooking.
We do not know the financial capacity of her husband or his other family members. But the husband is understood to build a family house. She should pray for open doors for all - His sisters to matrimonial homes and to their own properties; and the brothers to their own properties. Otherwise, the property remains a family property UNTIL her husband says no more, which is unlikely unless something (family rift) happens. With due respect to Poster, that may happen if she continues on this matter.
The brother can only take the property in her husband's lifetime IF all his sibling gang up against her husband. If all sibling gang up against a brother over village property, is it wise to fight such battle when you are not fully resident in the village?
And why do some wives always think so much about inheriting under the guise of "it is my children inheritance". Is it cast on the rock that husbands must always go first?
The husband who built the property is not worried over losing it to his family. But Poster is.
Don’t you people give middle names in your family?
ReplyDeleteWhat if the younger brother had already made a vow to God to name his son David even before you had yours?
ReplyDeleteThe name I gave my first child (daughter) is a name I heard in secondary school and loved and vowed to name my daughter if God gave me one.
My second daughter’s name(Oluwasijibomi) is a vow I made to God if He delivered me safely after my doctors warned me severally to terminate the pregnancy because it was a high risk and I could die.
Things aren’t always the way they seem most times.
Why would his son inherit the building when you have yours?
Is the property not in your husband’s name?
Pls don’t allow satan to start whispering rubbish into your ears…remember his mission (kill,steal and destroy).
Don’t tear the family apart over your evil imaginations abeg.
I never marry talk less of getting married but there are some names wey I don write down for my unborn children.
DeleteLand and house documents should be handed over to the owner, why keep them.
ReplyDeleteThis chronicle is funny.
ReplyDeleteWhere I come from cousins bear the same name with surname and there is no issue.you will hear things like Mariam kekere or Mariam agba.
Infact I can't count the number of people with the same first name and surname in my family.
I am sure,your son will have a middle name that will differentiate them on paper.
Don't use this issue to cause any animosity between two brothers✌️
Simple, Let his first name be in vernacular, and David should be his second name.
ReplyDeleteI don't see the fuss you are making here. Had my son gave him a name, our last born had his a year or so later. He ranged me up and asked for permission to name is son the same name. I have him my blessings.
ReplyDeleteWithin my cousins there's on that we shared the same name. Anytime I'm in family get-together with him, were are always refered to Adam (not real name)the senior or Adam the younger.
No need for all the stress, of God bless you and your children what will they be dragging over family house that their father built. Just remove your eyes from this cos I know your husband knows about the name but he sees nothing wrong about it.
ReplyDeleteIf you are not okay with the name just change it to another middle name so that you can really show a difference between both. It seems his son middle name is same with yours, please change his middle name and allow people to reign.
Some people like to look for trouble where there is none. Poster that name David is it meant for your son alone? It is a common name that anybody can give to his or her child but if you are not comfortable with your son and his cousin bearing the same name why not start calling him with his other name or is it only one name tha you gave your son because I believe that many of us have more than one name
ReplyDeleteYou have a valid concern. My husband, his father and his brother all have the same first name, middle initial, and last name. They differentiate themselves by writing out their middle name in full and where necessary, using their birthdate (because FIL & BIL have the same middle name too). You can consider changing the middle name of your child. If it’s a legal document, eg the title of the house, you can say “David Ezeka Mbah, son of (your full name) and (husband’s full name). Pls not Mr. & Mrs. Mbah oh”. It may not be a malicious act on the part of your BIL, I mean what if he’s always wanted to name his child David? I do understand the issues that may arise with the same name. I would advise not to cause any rifts but find a way to amend your son’s name if you’re not comfortable
ReplyDeleteMadam, you are looking for what is not lost. Be prepared when you find it.
ReplyDeleteYour husband appears to be a good man to his family. You have enjoyed a part of the payback.
But no. The narrative of victimisation of wives by in-laws must be fulfilled.
He gave money to his brother.
There are very honest brothers. Some of us have brothers who will add their money on errands sent and will not ask for refund unless we use sense to extract the information of the extra spent
He built for his family.
He has redeemed his father's name and cared for the woman who cared for you so well post partum.
The other David may inherit.
Why are you worried about who inherit a house you used so many words in saying you are not interested in. Or were you trying to draw a wool over reader's eyes by feigned disinterest in the property?
Has your husband said he wants to inherit the property after his mother's death. In fact, take the property as not belonging to your husband. Pray that his family reciprocate by giving you decent rooms when you visit; that is, if you visit seeing the way you claimed disinterest in going home and staying in it. Till then, pray for your husband to get more to build HIS OWN HOUSE in the village.
Now back to the name.
Nothing is wrong at all in cousins bearing the same names. Will you also stop all people bearing exactly the same names as your son. Have you not heard of people who have the same three names in the same same school or town? Go check professional bodies sites and Companies' shareholders lists. You will see people having the same two or three names.
Clearly, the name David has a special place in the family heart. The name may well be that of their father, or a good uncle or a grand-father on either side of the family. Have you asked your husband who is or was David in the family? Even though it is not worth the time or may trigger the unexpected.
Call your son his name. Put yourself in your mother-in-law's shoes. If you found that the name you called your grand son is not being used, how would you feel?
Clearly, it appears that there is an art to writing chronicles to elicit comments validating already held beliefs. This is worth learning by any person who writes to persuade, or to evoke bias against an adversary, or to rally support. This again, confirms that time spent here is worthwhile. Reading how most chronicles are written here has really taught this BV some lessons or reinforced those learned before.
Me think the issue here is the property, and not the name of cousins. In that regard, better remove your eyes from that property for your husband's own welfare and progress.
Or you think you a wiser than your husband? Anyway, most Nigerian wives believe they are much
more wiser than their husbands.
Your narrative shows that you are still young in marriage. But you are already focused on inheritance of your husband's property? What about praying for your husband to live long, for you both to raise David and your family to a level where this house would be like Boys Quarter in your eyes when compared to all available assets.
Anon 17.22 well done. You said nothing but the truth
DeleteThe most complex B
My name is ogechi but I go by Paula. All your sons official document should carry the name your husband gave him as his 1st name. Period case closed. Lastly it your husband should write a will. In d will it should state that the house is a family house and paraventure your hubby passes away, God forbid but that the house goes to his real son. Else na wahala wan bust o. Tell your husband that he will not die yet. It IA advisable to have a will. I have one too.
ReplyDeleteNigerian women get in the habit of letting your husband have a WILL. Visit a lawyers office and let him write a will. Don't seat with him when he is discussing with the lawyer o. So it not like you are manipulating him. After the Will has been done, let him call you in as a witness to the will even without knowing the content. E get why.
ReplyDeletePlease Poster do not try this advice.
DeleteLeave your husband to decide on whether and when to write a will.
Generally, the typical Nigerian man dislike making a will, and dislike it very much more when a wife still young in marriage is telling him to write a will.
Do not let your husband think you want to do away with him.
Focus on building your home and earning your husband's trust. Along the line, as an apparently reasonable man, he will make provision for himself and you and his children.
Poster a middle name will solve all these ish. Just include it in his birth and school records. Don't make the brothers have issues cos of this.
ReplyDeleteI don't see how this name relates to the house? Except only if the house document bears the David Ezeaku MBA. That's the only way this your husband brother can claim that house for his own son.
ReplyDeleteIf the house bears your own husband's name then why are you worried.
I understand the brother might be a greedy person, but try remove your eyes from the house, truly it belongs to your husband and his first son.
Madam u are very intelligent and wise. Give your son a middle name .
ReplyDeleteI don't see anything wrong with it..infact I see it as flattery..my dad has 2 siblings..the same name he gave me, 2 of his siblings named one of their kids the same name. So in a family of three, they each have a child that bears the same name . Never saw anything wrong with it
ReplyDeleteThe problem I have here is this woman keep hammering on the house in the village and documents!
ReplyDeleteWoman! It is a FAMILY house and not your husband's house!
Or don't you know the meaning of family house?
As for the same name thing, I see nothing wrong in cousins with same surname bearing same name.
You can either add your husband's name to your son's surname for easy differentiation or you use David native name then his surname.
But before then, get to know your BIL's son's native name before you give your son his because humans can be unpredictable.
I wish we could read as bright as day, people's intentions.....
ReplyDeleteMy dad’s step brother did the same thing too when my dad was still very wealthy then before the same family wreck am!
ReplyDeleteHe legit named his son after my dad cause of properties😂it was his mum dat still used her witch made my dad have problems with his work and now her son is d one building houses around…this life sha!
~Anonymous Butterfly 🦋~
When ever you are writing your son name always put your husband name after the son name, making it the third name.
ReplyDeleteI don't see anything wrong with him naming his son David; your husband doesn't see anything wrong with it, so why stress yourself? Also, what has the house your husband built in the village to do with the names? If your husband does not trust him, he won't have handed the project to him.
ReplyDeleteMadam, change your mindset. Don't come and cause confusion or issues among your husband and his siblings. Women, una wahala too much.
The brother-in-law might not be up to anything. I know two siblings whose sons bear Miracle. The second gave his son the name because of circumstances surrounding his birth.
ReplyDeleteIt not common but it happens in rare cases. Plus some people already have names for their unborn children even before they get married or pregnant.