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Sunday, November 05, 2023

Woman With New Baby Succumbs To Domestic Violence Complications

This is a sad story.....
She didnt leave because of the Kids, now she has left them forever....



''She was married to a man who was viôlent towards her. Not just viôlent, he would lock doors and windows, raise music volume, and then start béating her, so that help won't come for her. 

One day he béat her till she was unconscious, the whole compound joined in rushing her to the hospital. After treatment, she came back to the same house. People advised her to leave, she said her children were still little, she wanted them to grow a bit before she leaves. 

She wanted them to grow yet she was giving birth to more. She had four children, the last one is just 7 months old. Two weeks ago, an old woman living in their compound called this lady's mother, asking her to come take her daughter if they still want her alive. 

The mother replied that the lady said she's not leaving. This is why it's good to have some weyrey as a mother. Even if she doesn't want to leave, use vawulence and bring her out by force. O dighi apu àra. Back to the story. Two days ago, that is Thursday 2nd November 2023, they woke up in the morning to hear the man béating the woman as usual. 

After the béating, normal life continued. They said that night, the lady went about her normal chores, she stayed up till 11pm wasting and hanging cloths. Neighbors saw her. They all woke up yesterday morning only to hear that the lady is déad. How? The husband is saying he slept in the sitting room while she slept in the bedroom, that he only entered the room in the morning and found her dead. Neighbors said her bed was soaked with water though, and there's still no explanation for that. 

The husband is saying she should be buried immediately as he doesn't have money to pay mortuary bills. The sad part, her father heard the news and had a heart attack, she was his only daughter. He was rushed to hospital, but news has it that he didn't make it. 

Her 7month old baby cried the whole day and refused to eat every food that was offered her, she was looking for breast milk. She cried till she started running temperature. See how many lives have been affected by her choices. Four children rendered motherless. Only God knows what their fate will be, they'll probably be shared amongst relatives who may/may not treat them well. 

I know all these because we have a mutual friend who was at their place yesterday to get first hand info. She was crying bitterly on phone while speaking to me, I told her to stop crying, the lady chose this. The husband cannot even be held responsible. Police came, asked him questions and left. 

We keep writing daily for women to learn, but some are determined to waste their lives. Someone in an abûsive marriage will read this post and say "it's not my portion", and keep staying in the marriage. 
Like I'll always say, we can't help everybody. Keep staying, keep waiting for your children to grow up, keep thinking of what society will say, keep thinking of how you'll survive, keep thinking if you'll find another man, keep thinking the children need a father, keep hoping he'll change. 

Just keep at it, since you have no value for the life you have. 
Written by Amarachi Iwuala

72 comments:

  1. What a pity, so this beautiful lady is gone just like that?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Replies
    1. Painful exit I pray her children get people who will love and care for them

      Delete
  3. If you have a sibling going through DV, ambush the husband/wife and deal with them mercilessly.
    You are going through such maltreatment and you’ll still open your body for your partner. How was your body created? God forbid.

    Sluttychic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. A DV victim can also be a sexual assault victim

      Delete
    2. I'd say you should beat sense into your sibling and make him/her leave.
      Beat the partner and they'll go back home and beat your sibling.

      Delete
    3. Jaz, what can't she leave? Sex assault, beatings, yet she remain. God forbid

      Delete
  4. Sad..This is a reoccurring decimal in Nigeria.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Nothing to say. RIP to her father. The man will remarry after few months. Society said a widower with under aged children needs another woman to help train the children . The diseased mother does not even have a right to take the children away from the man.
    Another woman going through domestic violence will still read this and say.. 'i*** Its not my portion😔

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ladies 7 lessons

    1. Nobody can love you the way you can love yourself (however you must love yourself)

    2. Many men are not husband material, their actions are not logical

    3. Single man doesn't mean available ( some are cursed,are unwilling to become better

    4. Never be desperate ,desperation blocks you seeing the real him till it is too late

    5. If he doesn't want you to have access to your friends and family , he makes comments or "jokes" that cause you discomfort , he is trying to cut down your self esteem and access to people who can see him and STOP HIM TO DESTROYING YOU

    6. Yes women can be married to their enemies who hate, resent and punish them for choosing them.

    7. Money is not the end, a man without conscience , character and genuine fear of GOD is empty of empathy , poverty of spirit is real

    Bonus point

    YOU CANNOT CHANGE A MAN, HE RAISES HAND, HATES CORRECTION, HAS NO PATIENCE WITH YOU,MO KS WOMEN, HAD USELESS FRIENDS,IS NOT KIND, IS LAZY, IS PROUD,LAUGHS AT OTHERS MISFORTUNES, IS NOT ACCOUNTABLE TO ANYBODY, IS INSECURE, KEEPS MALICE, DOESNT ENCOURAGE YOU TO GROW, DOESNT KNOW HOW TO MANAGE HIS TEMPER, IS AGGRESSIVE, , TALKS ANYHOW, IS PETTY , IS NOT HAPPY AT YOUR PROGRESS, IS A THIEF/YAHOO/CRIMINAL

    RUNNNNNN

    Never allow even your mother , friends, family ,society tell you to settle

    Only you will live with the consequences of choosing a sick evil man as "husband"
    My sister children do not flourish in toxic environments
    It is wicked to your children to sacrifice their peace and your life for a destructive oxygen thief pretending to be a man

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You said it all

      God bless you

      Delete
    2. Thank you! These are the real red flags, not he is not from my place, and not from my church..

      Delete
    3. Amen
      Thank you

      Delete
    4. Amen
      Thank you

      Delete
    5. Well said 👍👍👍

      Delete
  7. It is not a matter of having werey mother. Some ladies if you like use dangote crane to drag them out of a violent man, they will go back and tag you an enemy. If you check well she is the bread winner.
    I am so angry.
    Ladies please your.life matters. My mother will always tell us that every good thing in life (Mansions , husband/wife, exotic cars, designer wears 100 children. Billions in your account) is for the living. If you allow a fellow human kill you either with words or actions, YOU ARE DEAD and those things does not belong to you again. Make consistent effort to stay alive.

    ReplyDelete
  8. LEAVE TO LIVE...this can't be overemphasized

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly.

      May her soul and father's soul rest in peace.

      I just pity the children left behind.

      Delete
    2. Heewu Chineke m o mee ebere

      Delete
  9. Domestic violence women pls help yourselves, it was here I told you my cousin whom her husband wanted to suffocate with pillow while pregnant with beating on top is back from her marriage she don born to the glory of God .
    Women should help themselves this is too much for one family

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She don born. I hope hardship wi not make her go back. You people should help her out financially until she can stand on her feet and make sure she doesn't go back. If she does, arrange boys and go and drag her out

      Delete
    2. "horseband" that is possessed and has mental problem
      Beating a woman
      Beating a pregnant woman
      Trying to suffocate her with pillow

      Tufiakwa
      Prison is his portion

      Delete
  10. The wet bed is probably from him trying to revive her.

    Cause of death is most likely internal bleeding, due to a raptured spleen or another internal organ.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He may have beaten her again before she went to bed sef

      Delete
    2. Or maybe even suffocate/drown her, mad people everywhere, I only pity the innocent children in all of these, not the woman herself.

      Delete
  11. Sad story,I don't know what to say honestly
    May her soul and father's soul rest in peace.
    May God help every woman that is in this type of marriage to make the right decision.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Some women sef, I was married for just 8 months and it was hell!
    Right from the 2nd day of the wedding.
    I suffered all kinds of abuse, emotional verbal physical and financial.
    He wld beat me up anywhere anytime..
    He's very rude arrogant dishonesty and lies alot.
    He listens to no one and insult anybody that tries to intervened,
    his parents o, siblings o, family member o, even my own parents are not spared and immediately he finished beating me up he wid start to apologize and blame the devil and his anger issues..
    The thing is now looking like a mental illness..
    Omoh with the backing of my parents and family member, I raannn!
    Without looking back.
    He's there asking people to beg me on his behalf cos I blocked him everywhere.
    Sorry for any typos.
    Stella don't post if am not anonymous

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank God you ran and block him everywhere.
      So sorry for all he did to you 🤗you're a super woman.

      Delete
  13. You refused to leave because of the kids now you have left them forever.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I wish he can be locked up in detention like the late Osinachi's horseband

    ReplyDelete
  15. They are still on this blog . Their horsebands beat them like thieves, they are still there in the marriage, they want to die as a "Mrs"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With daft talk of what will people say?
      Which irrelevant people that will cry crocodile tears and blame you for not leaving ?

      That will not take care of your children

      That will try to replace you OSISO

      What useless people ?

      Mtschew

      Delete
  16. Raising kids in homes with DV is creating more damaged human beings who may internalize it and continue the trend in their own homes. That's why some men now believe women are no longer "submissive". They saw their mother go through all manner of abuse and oppression without resistance so to them, that is what or how a wife should be.

    ReplyDelete
  17. The thing is women don't have the right knowledge about marriage.with all the sophistication you will find out most women don't have the right knowledge about marriage.for instance, in this time and age,how can you in the right sense take it serious when a man doesn't give you money for your personal needs then whu are you working.? Why get entitled?
    If you are married and you ask your man for money for personal needs and he says nop.your sense should tell you to let him he and use your money for your personal needs but nop some of you would want to turn your personal needs to a national family problem meanwhile you are working and earning oh.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you justifying Domestic violence or you are addressing something else?

      Delete
    2. Please stop justifying bull**it
      Trying to coddle insane male adults and destructive creatures pretending to be men , what animal behaviour are you trying to justify ?

      Delete
  18. I remember when my Anty reported her husband to my dad.my dad and his brothers invited him and gave him a taste of his own medicine that was the last time he abused her…sometimes erh strong hand is needed to deal with this bully’s..I sha don’t pity anyone who decides to die in the hands of abusive spouses because they don’t pity themselves..I only feel for the kids and her dad,we need to always think about the effect of our action on those who truly love and look up to us.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That’s how my husband was beating me from time to time I dey endure . One fateful day he started I went and locked the door and threw the keys away. I beat shege banza out of this man I don’t know how he managed to escape out of the house since that he respects himself rubbish

      Delete
    2. Are you a boxer or wrestler, how did you beat a man?

      Delete
    3. Chika(Hello Iya Boys)5 November 2023 at 20:05

      🤣🤣🤣
      You must be a wrestler ooo
      Infact ehen me I like watching wrestling ooo
      Rest well woman...

      Delete
  19. Mrs rest in peace, that Mrs title was so important to you that you lost your life this way..
    Will others learn? Hell no!

    ReplyDelete
  20. I beg I don't want to say anything on this issue because I am seriously angry,I remember what one of my cousins use to say that if she dies today her children will continue with their lives and today she is doing fine without the useless man.

    ReplyDelete
  21. omg omg....
    wickedness everywhere😲😲

    ReplyDelete
  22. Talk about blaming the victim. Over and over we are reminded in the write up that she chose her end. Not one bad word for the murderer, not one. Imagine blaming someone for someone else killing them, what a world.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Everyone expects a scorpion to sting. Everyone expects a child warned of scorpions to run away from them. Actions and inactions have consequences. No matter how innocent a child is, what will happen if he pulls a pan of hot oil from the stove?

      Delete
    2. These demonic "men" are not human, doing the work of their father to kill, steal and destroy

      GOD protect us and our children from them all in Jesus Christ Name Amen

      Delete
  23. This is sad,she wasted her life.
    Anyone in an abusive relationship/marriage should leave,it's not the end of the world,you can still make something meaningful out of life.

    If you don't value your life,please take pity on the people you will be leaving behind.They will be thrown into perpertual sadness.

    #Runforyourlife#

    ReplyDelete
  24. I pray her ghost haunts him every day. Amen!

    ReplyDelete
  25. This is sad, beautiful lady just gone like that.. .

    ReplyDelete
  26. This is almost the same with what my sister is going through. We all have talked but she won’t listen.

    May her soul Rest In Peace

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pls You people should do the needful for her ooo 🙏🏻

      Delete
    2. Arrange, go and pack her things and drag her out

      Delete
  27. Chai, she killed herself. Leave violent men, they won't hear.
    Why did the police not throw the animal into the cell? Why is he still roaming free?

    ReplyDelete
  28. Let me share the story of my cousin. The husband always beat her and the day her father got to know was the last time the man will raise his hand on her. My Uncle waited patiently till Friday to arrest the husband and paid the police to beat him in custody Wella. The man was beaten blue and black by the police and my uncle still went to bail him out on Monday morning, with the warning never to beat his daughter again.
    The guy just calm down. He and his wife are best of friends now.
    Naa weyrey we dey use heal weyrey
    May the woman soul rest in peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is how it has to be. These men only have the strength to attack who is weaker than them. Let another man do it and let them know the woman has protection and ppl in her life who will defend her, they adjust very quickly. This is why every abuser first isolate the woman and separate her from family, they do not want objections to their evil deeds.

      This one threw a pan of water on the woman to revive her when he saw she wasn’t waking up and the baby crying, that is why the bed was wet. Even in death he still had to douse her with water. Scum!

      Delete
  29. Some men truly HATE, DESPISE AND ARE ENVIOUS OF THEIR WIVES. TOXIC AND DESTRUCTIVE

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My father in law comes to mind

      Delete
  30. I think any woman that finds herself in this situation should ask herself when was the last time your parents beat you as a child, then how can somebody that call himself your husband beating you like a child with monstrous energy and you no wan go , mbanu God forbid I can't disappoint my children by staying with who they call. A daddy beating their mummy o wrong nau.
    I use to tell people no be my parents you go kill their pikin come tell them sorry when you re not mad , leave with your kids nothing spoil highest if people ask you tell them with pride yes o I no marry again the man no shikena, if you want to keep it on the low once you re back people will decode but your life dey intact, imagine dying in the hands of someone that married you when I no jam kidnappers tufiakwa

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol @ jam kidnappers
      I too, I can never stay with a violent man and I let my husband know this from when we were dating. I do tell him, "if you want our marriage to end, just beat me, I will leave, I cannot allow a man to kill me for my poor mum, we are just two children, me and my brother". I told him "in your own case, your mum has six children altogether, your dad has 9 children altogether, I won't allow any man to kill me, marriage is not by force". He has never raised his hands on me, he doesn't cheat too. Meanwhile, I have a job and a business, so he knows I can take care of myself if he misbehaves, so women, have something that can give you money.

      Delete
  31. When I divorce my ex it was bcos of what I went through like the late woman, den no born person well make him ask me why I divorce him. When he was beating me some of them will be minding their business and not intervene. For 7 yrs it was like that reason why I had broken tooth till now.

    ReplyDelete
  32. @ Baboni, imagine broken tooth. It could have been your eye. Please run when DV is involved

    ReplyDelete

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