Hmmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ARGUING HUSBAND AND WIFE
Is it normal that you and your man should constantly argue on things especially when you two are gisting? Not like before that gist end we two will not agree to each other oh just that my guy feels he knows the gist better and same thing with myself I feel let my voice be heard about that gist.
Is this a good sign for us to be together as husband and wife? Is not like we spend a day without talking with each other, we cannot fight that we will not talk to each other but we argue most times during gist cos the person want what she or he says to be the correct way or gist.
Constantly arguing? BVs will agree with me that it is not a good sign at all.... I hope that it does not escalate into a shouting match or physical altercation.
You sef stop arguing and walk away or agree nicely instead of arguing...
It’s a good sign
ReplyDeleteIf you cannot argue (debate), are you even a Nigerian 😃
We like it like that. Just don’t fight
Too much of everything is bad. Also applied to arguments.
DeleteGuys that don't know when to step down is a turn off for me!
DeleteNormally guys are wired to keep quiet when the argument escalates, that's why I love my man reserved and well mannered!
Leave too much talk and argument for women!
NK..
DeleteSo guys should keep quiet, women should run their mouths..
You love your man reserved and we'll mannered while you are the opposite, doesn't he deserve a well mannered and reserved lady too..
You no serious..
Na fellow amotekun man fit you
Lol... @ Anonymous 15.03
DeleteLol, Nk that's a joke right?
DeleteUna two be over sabi.
ReplyDeleteNa una know, na so gbas-gbos dey start.Watch am
But me sha I can't be with a man that always want to win an argument all the time, atleast pretend and let me win.
Bcos me too I also pretend and let people win, as long as its not something that will affect business and finance.
It is mental immaturity. They both have good points on the topics of discussion but lack better ways of passing their message across, hence the unnecessary argument. It pains them that they know what they are saying but the person they are communicating to is not understanding it they way they want the person to understand it. If they really want to learn how to effectively communicate, they should learn to observe people who do better when they have contradicting opinions over issues or topics of discussions.Listen to those 8 to 9am political discussions on tv and radio they will get to see or hear those who arrange their points accordingly in a way that it will be easy for the listeners to understand, even in this blog you will get to see people who raise contradicting opinions yet they know how to put their points of view together for those who may find it difficult to understand why they had to think in that direction to understand why they did so.
DeleteOn top gist? Other people's guat sef. Una no get work.
ReplyDelete#gist
ReplyDeleteIt's not a good sign at all, I will advise you to pause,whenever it's about to start. Discuss something else in a mild manner without cutting him off or appearing rude. For a marriage to work,one must be either the goat or the sheep. Learn to be calm always.
ReplyDeleteLol..
ReplyDeleteE be like say this one don dey reason to agree for another bobo,. She don dey find excuse and convincing reason to dump the present baba
So u don’t see a problem with constant arguments from a couple?
DeleteI can't even be friends with such..
DeleteBut if that really is the case, aunty doesn't need a chronicles to tell her it's a red flag..
There are intents behind most things..
See ehn, 'my friend' was involved with a girl, she no dey give BJ, my friend likes BJ and always make her understand say this might be a future issue, she always tell him she'll work on it soon,. But when momma begin reason another guy, na she come dey ask 'my fridnd' if it's not better they end the relationship because she wouldn't do BJ even in marriage, my friend as an OG knew wassup already..
My point, most people continue to make excuses for the one they love until they love someone else..
80 percent chance, this poster is already considering another guy and looking for who to dump oga without feeling guilty about it
It's not a good sign but if you love the individual and don't mind being with him/her, then you must compromise. And if he/she is responsible, seeing that you stop struggling so much with them, they will do thesame. Good Luck
DeleteI agree with Dante, and I am a female. I know this because I unconsciously dumped guys in my university days for senseless reasons 😆. My friends were worried that I would never settle down. I am a happy wife with 2 beautiful girls 😍
DeleteOne person should be able to calm down for the other
ReplyDeleteThe most complex B
Why not always be the bigger person and let it go?
ReplyDeleteWhen dating or married constant argument may be seen as challenging or disrespect ur spouse..
Even if u know u are right at that moment, let it go... Use another method to communicate to him..
Every relationship has its own struggle
Always being the bigger person can also be detrimental to their future
DeleteFor how long, forever is too long for one to keep being a bigger person abeg.
DeleteThat's why I said use another method to communicate, that arguing method is no working, it will escalate one day
DeleteToo much argument does not mean you're intelligent. I heard this over the news and I've found out that it is correct.
ReplyDeleteInfact the person can be so daft and ignorant.
DeleteBetter be the sheep walk away and keep your mouth bible says he that keepeth his mouth keepeth his soul from teouble
ReplyDeleteConcede, don't try to make a point, lest he seeks for peace of mind somewhere else.
ReplyDeleteThen let him seek for peace somewhere else especially if posters always the one backing down. The red flag is, he’s very stubborn. You both are actually. Too much of everything is not good. It actually shows signs of other underlying issues within yourselves. You both shd work on it.
DeleteRadarada
ReplyDeletePlease just let it slide. Not a good sign.
ReplyDeleteTrust me keeping quiet and concurring won't make you lesser especially since you say it's just gist. You can save your energy for deeper issues and that way he's forced to listen even more.
ReplyDeleteNot a good sign
ReplyDeleteSuperiority complex is the problem from both of you. Everyone wants his/her voice to be heard,for me I think is big red flag
ReplyDeleteThis! And like Stella said, it is likely to escalate to gbas gbos
DeleteRed flag! both of you are stubborn, especially you based on your narrative.
ReplyDeleteI think you both have big egos
ReplyDeleteDo you argue over the serious matters of your relationship?
ReplyDeleteIf yes, switch lane.
If you argue so much over trivia gists to warrant a chronicle, what time do you have to discuss the real now relationship matters and those likely to arise tomorrow?
Dale Carnegie (goggle about him) once said that nobody wins an argument.
Hmmmm
ReplyDeleteBoth of you have got an ego problem and are quite pig-headed.
ReplyDeleteSo are you saying you both are always right? And all the time for that matter? Or you just do not want to concede defeat because to you both you are not having a conversation rather you are in a 'battle of the most mouthed".
Accepting you are wrong sometimes when you know you are is a sign of maturity and self-respect. It also shows you tackle the issue and not the person in front of you.
Besides, It takes a self-aware person to laugh at their own mistakes and accept when they are wrong. Everything is not a fight. Aren't you both stressed?
You both are confronting yourselves and not the matter on the ground hence the need to be right. It is a competition for you both where you hunger to win in the end there is no winner.
You both keep going that you don't want to be the first person to back down because to you both it feels embarrassing to back down and the need to be right is greater than the need to be at peace in a loving relationship with each other.
You are always at loggerheads because you see things subjectively.
If you address matters from an objective angle it won't be so hard for you both to have a healthy and stress-free conversation.
Considering you brought it here then it shows it bothers you and you know that is not the right way to live. You can try to be the bigger person and apply a different approach and hopefully with time he would lower his guard and follow suit without realising it.
When you have a conversation or an argument and you know he is right
or he made an interesting point swiftly acknowledge him and let him know he has a point.
You can move a step further and add one or two supporting arguments to let him know you understand where he is coming from doing that will let him know if you later bring up a differing opinion you do it not to show off or to diminish his points.
Afterwards, introduce your points not in a condescending manner. That is if you do not agree with him. Disagree respectfully and express yourself in a non-defensive and non-judgmental manner. Don't attack his point in a bid to highlight your points. Even if you do not agree with him let him know you respect his view but not mockingly.
If he points out where you are wrong, catch your breath first and do not see it as an attack so you won't be defensive. If you are wrong swallow the humble pie and admit you are. It is okay to accept constructive criticism and feedback and be ready to make adjustments. But if you are not give your reasons.
With time I believe this will help to improve your communication habits. Try this and Let's see if he won't acknowledge your points too and change for the better except he is incorrigible.
Words on Marble.
Not a good sign at all,both of you can't always want to win argument,if not controlled now,such attitude can lead to bigger problems in future.
ReplyDeleteFor this to work, you both will need to learn how to debate or discuss issues without raising your voices. No be gist again? Na so slaps and blows take dey start.
ReplyDeleteThis right here is not a good thing. A healthy relationship does not need what you described up there.
A man isn't meant to argue with a woman.just make your point and walk away.trying to win arguments with women may lead to verbal/physical abuse.
ReplyDeleteThis is not a good sign at all.
Lol warrisdis
DeleteNot a good thing abeg
ReplyDeleteWetin una dey argue for ooo
ReplyDeleteAs a woman abeg if argument wanna start just work away o
Looks as if is becoming National Anthem
Before one bros come give you red eyes in the name of on Necessary argument..
It’s fun,it’s normal and always try to end it with jokes…
ReplyDeleteConstant argument before marriage is actuated by a quest to determine who will control the marriage.
ReplyDeleteThere is arguing and there is debating. Fools argue, intellectuals debate and state their well considered points.
ReplyDeleteWhile I don't necessarily consider your constant arguments with your spouse a red flag, I'll say wisdom needs to be applied. The need to be right at all costs is a poison in any marriage.
You and your oga get strength. In this present economy, I consider laziness a virtue. I no dey argue on top matter wey no dey put one naira for my pocket.
Una don belleful na im make una dey argue. You don't have any thing really of a bother to you OP that's why this is the chronicle you can post.
This is very simple. Since you cannot control him. You should be able to control yourself.
ReplyDeleteLearn how to keep quiet when the gist is snowballing into an argument.
Must you always win an argument?
This thing might separate you and scatter your relationship.
It depends the level the argument will get to, does it end on a good note and the gist still contnues or does it end in calling of unprinted names or the one the one slap and blows are exchanged. You know better than i do.
ReplyDeleteNo calling of unprinted names, no slap. It ends on a good note.
DeleteJust learn to tell your husband that "Yes you are right" even if you don't agree with him but just to avoid unnecessary argument coz argument can actually escalate to something serious oo.
ReplyDeleteI don't like wotowoto
ReplyDelete