Hmmmmm...
ADVICE NEEDED
I just met this guy last month, and we started dating,I just came new to this area tho(since last year),and I promised myself not to date here
To cut the long story short
Me and this guy really love ourselves, but the thing is my aunt said we are relocating to delta next two month(I'm staying with my aunt because my mum died last year,and my dad is not here with me)
Should I tell this guy,or I should just keep dating him,till I leave here
He's 26 and I'm 20
He's really hardworking,God fearing and responsible but I'm not the long distance relationship type
Relocating to delta means I won't be coming back here
I really love all the moment we do share,he calls every day(morning, afternoon and night)
Pls I need advice,because I don't want to hurt myself and him,we are relocating because our house rent is due,and my aunt thinks that that it's better we relocate to delta so we won't pay house rent
Hmmmmm you are just 20 and i dont think you are ready to settle down yet but please tell him that you have to leave soon and if you are already active with him, please cease all nacking moves cos some people will wanna nack the living daylights outta you cos they know they wont see you again... You will hurt him and yourself if you leave without telling him....He may decide to visit you from time to time if you agree to......
How do you know that you are not the long distance type? Aint nothing love cant do baby geh
At 20 and no support of any dating is a misplaced priority why not develop yourself,if you are in school face your book if looking for admission why not be serious with it You don't have any helper and moving to delta will complicate matters for you why don't you just cut off the relationship
ReplyDeleteShe go hear?
DeleteSee she didn't say what he's hardworking at? If she really knows.
No goke, u r wrong, everyone's priority is different. Everyone’s path is different. I married my husband at 24 and he was 26, we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary this year. At 28, i was done with childbirth, my youngest is 7. So u won’t tell me at 20, she is still young and should only face her books, she should also build social relationships. Who knows? May be at 20 she is done wt uni or almost done. Before you come for me with the i didn’t read book that is why i got married early bull crap, no, i am a lawyer wt 9 years working experience.
DeleteSo pls young lady, if u r done wt sch, and you have something to make u financially independent and u feel this young man is the one, pls build ur relationship with him and settle down, it is better than changing boyfriends and fornicating upandan till you are late in ur 30s or 40s(apologies to those who for one good reason or the other couldn’t settle down early) forget those that would tell you that you are too young. But most of them forget to tell you that you are too young to do wife duties for a boyfriend.
She has finished school and she and her sister are relocating to delta because they can't pay house rent or you didn't read or you read and don't comprehend?lawyer my foot.
DeleteAre there not a lot of undergraduates who are job hunting@ goke? So because she has finished school automatically their house rent should be paid?
DeleteOh! Of all the things i wrote it’s my profession that struck a nerve. Good, that’s the point. Raise ur standard. If ee easy, leave blog and go study law, shebi na 5 yrs.
Delete17:36 good point
DeleteOh! Goke be calming down na. This your second submission na wa o. Put some love in your comments during disagreement sometimes. Which one is 'lawyer my foot again'
DeleteShe has seen potential ooo. Make she marry oo.
ReplyDeletePoster, you are not ready for a relationship. Inform him of your departure and develop yourself. Men want a woman that can contribute. You don't want to end up with a man who will see you as a liability.
ReplyDeleteYou would want to make your parents proud of your achievements.
Learn a skill if education is not an option right now.
Not all men want women who can contribute financially, some cultures don't encourage women to work , but she has to learn how to be independent and useful to herself, family and society not because of any man
DeleteHow did you know that she is not ready for a relationship? By ur standards it is only when a woman is well into her 30s or 40s that she is ripe for a relationship abi?
DeleteDear poster I will advise you to develop yourself first before love and relationship,suspend this love thing for now okay.
ReplyDeletePoster, tell him about your relocation, and if you don't think you can cope with a distance relationship, then breakup, focus on your life and develop yourself. Good luck
DeleteLol @He's 26 and I'm 20
ReplyDeleteAt 20 years of age, relationship shouldn't be your priority for now.
ReplyDeleteWomen need to stop reasoning like this. It does not have to be her topmost priority but considering it has already happened to her and she said it is beautiful it can be her priority among her other pressing priorities. If Omotola had reasoned like this I wonder if she would have had her beautiful marriage.
DeleteWords on Marble.
Omotola married her sponsor. Can the 26 year old sponsor poster to school?
DeleteWhat if she is done? Most do not even care if she is done immediately they read 20 years of age they all lose interest.
DeleteWords on Marble
That aside, he doesn't need to sponsor her, it is not like they even need to get married straight away. There are a lot of people who were blessed to meet their partner early in life without being sponsored being an additional clause. My cousin is married to his girlfriend whom he dated when she was 18. They are blessed with three kids now. Nobody sponsored anyone. They went about their degree and it was a long-distance relationship. It worked for them. I don't know if it would work for her but what if?
DeleteMy point was, that women need to stop trivialising relationships simply because they want to focus on other aspects of their lives. You all can multi-task. Getting ahead in life is as important as being in a loving relationship if one comes your way grab it and don't toss it aside like you have a truck of responsible guys lined up in your future and her being 20 is not a deterrent. As long as they date responsibly. Bv Marigold's emphasis was on her age being 20.
Words on Marble.
Words on marble thank you very much. I get so tired of hearing people saying a 20 year old should not be interested in relationships
DeleteMany people got married at 16 and a doing very fine. If the husband loves her, he can support her while in marriage to build her career if she demands for his support. He may not have the money now but if money eventually comes in future, he won't fail to support her if he truly loves her
DeleteWord on marble 👍
DeleteIf he wants to marry you and yu like him, why not continue
ReplyDeleteI have a different opinion about this.
ReplyDeleteYou are 20 years old and you are old enough to be in a relationship with hope for marriage in the future. You are not a child. It is not even as if you are expected to get married right away or the guy in question has that in the works presently but who says you both can nurture something beautiful and if life smiles at you both then get married maybe in 5 or 6 years.
I wish life was like this
School
Job
Relationship
Then
Marriage
But One thing I have figured out is, In life, sometimes some aspects come earlier than others. Okay, sometimes, it is imperative to sort out an aspect before you move on to the next but in your case, I honestly do not see the reason why you need to put your relationship on hold because of distance or education. Why can't you keep your relationship and still plan other areas of your life as long as he is supportive and ready to hold on with you? Of course, if you are not yet in school hopefully you are working towards it so why should you let go of one for the other when you can run both?
I feel you worry too much you haven't even tried a long-distance relationship or even discussed it with your boyfriend and you are already tensed up. After all, you are both still in Nigeria. What about those who have had endearing relationships outside of the country and ended up together?
You said he is God-fearing so I believe you both are chaste except there is another definition of God-fearing I am oblivious of.
He is hardworking and maybe has focus considering you cited he is responsible. right? Why throw him away if he is that good? Good people are not dime a dozen, you are still young so you may feel such traits you find admirable in him are prevalent but I will advise you not to be in a hurry to ruin what you have if he doesn't mind sticking with you.
And if it doesn't work out later, at least your mind will be at rest and won't be clouded with thoughts of, 'what would have been' in the future peradventure you look back and reminisce.
Talk to him about him and let him know about your aunty's plan for you guys to move back to Delta. He may not have an issue with it and may decide to visit you now and then. You both have to be committed though because a long-distance relationship needs consistency, effort and dedication to make it work.
Talk with him and later decide. If you still think you can't be in a long-distance relationship. Break up amicably.
I believe you are God-fearing too just like him hence the reason you pointed out that quality in him so don't forget you need to pray about it that God's will be done.
Words on Marble.
Words on Marble, you again?🥲 You are too good !
DeleteIf not for our poor state of mind and evil leaders from generations, I don't see why a young person that has found love can not marry. My white coworker has being married to his wife for 3yrs now and they both just turned 23yrs.
ReplyDeleteIt's best you tell him and keep the friendship probably he could decide to come join you in Delta state someday.
ReplyDeleteHmmm see how you are all talking about a 20 year old woman as if she is 12, my sister got married at 22 and at that age she had graduated and had a very good job already. She 40 years old now.
ReplyDeleteIt all depends on what you want poster, it seems like you’re not ready for a long distance relationship and that’s ok ✅ just let the guy know and move on with your life.
My take here is can a relationship of less than 2 months really be OP should be invested in? They barely know each other. There are a lot of factors that make or mar relationships. Most of them reveal themselves later. I know OP is still in the honeymoon stage. Body dey sweet her. She doesn't know that love takes a lot of work.
ReplyDeleteFirst of that is openness to your partner. So yes, she should inform him of her intending movement. I don't think she can readily take care of herself yet so staying behind isn't an option.
She didn't mention her current location so we can't really say if it is close to Delta State. Long distance can work if both are willing to make it work. Except of course she dey reason the collecting wey she go dey miss.
In all, time and distance can prove genuinenss of intentions. What is meant to be, will be.
Good points
DeletePoster you don dey knack? E dey early o.
ReplyDeleteTell him about the relocation plan. If he is mature, responsible & truly cares he will visit you often & maybe even marry you.
But don't let him take advantage & over knack your puna.
Baby girl I think you should do lots of other stuff that will help you develop & build yourself in the money making department of life, e.g learn a trade,(doesn't matter if you are in school or you are done with school).
Try dey serious with life even if you ate doing boyfriend/girlfriend things.
Don't be carried away.
Hmmm...
ReplyDeleteYoung love, always so sweet and care free. Tell him darling..but please be careful, don't fall pregnant..
ReplyDeleteYou can tell him your relocation plan and see how it goes from there. Thank God for phone and social media u guys will definitely catch up if you truly loves him and he does same too.
ReplyDeleteBuild yourself first.
ReplyDeletePoster what are you bringing to a relationship, with your submission upnthere, I think nothing reasonable. Until you are able to answer that question truthfully to your satisfaction, go work on yourself till then. Relationship no de run. Settling down is a lie married people tell themselves. You are as settled as you can desire.
ReplyDeleteAt twenty years of age I would advise you to face your studies and growth now and forget about men and relationships,use your today (young age)to prepare for your tomorrow,nor go allow men use their penis take bend your future o.
ReplyDelete