ADVICE NEEDED ON WHAT TO DO
Good afternoon Stella and Bvs, something has been bothering me.
I'm a 21yrs old graduate, got married and my baby is 7months now. The reason i am saying this is cos i brought a girl of 13yrs during the long holiday to live with me and during the holiday, I noticed she doesn't know how to read or write, she don't know two and three letter words..
I then paid a home lesson teacher to teach her at home during the holiday, bought queen primer for her, she improved just very little, like now she can spell, write and pronounce some two letter words.The issue i am having now is that i want to go put her in school, i want her to resume from basic 6, but after the entrance exam, she failed woefully, she then took basic 3 entrance exam and failed woefully again but the head teacher now suggests i register her in basic 3 and if she starts performing well and sees improvement, they will promote her to basic 6.
I have been thinking about her age, how old she will be when she finish primary and enter secondary. I discussed with my mum and she told me its not by 'how far but how well' that if i insist on putting her in basic 6, that it will be a waste of money for me cos she will keep failing.
Pls Bvs, what do you guys suggest i do?
Send her to learn a trade instead but make sure you realise that if you leave your child with her, it is exactly the knowledge she has she will impact on your child..Children learn mre and tend to pick up things from those they spend the most time with.....
Stella, what about stark illiterate parents who raised well educated children?
ReplyDeletePoster, you already have your first child at 21, there are others who wiil have their first child at 40.
That is life.
Let her start at Basic 3.
It doesnt matter if she graduates at 30.
Getting an education is the goal.
Poster you have a good plan for her. Keep it up.
DeleteLearning can't work unless the pupil picked a keen interest in learning.
You may need to slow down to her pace. At the same time, ensure she has an interest in education.
Thankfully there are so many ways to learn. Does she prefer addition or she prefera fine art? She needs to have active Interest
Also forget about age, all fingers are not equal. She will never forget the impact you made in her life. She be like clay u bike Potter.
You are a noble person. God bless u
I agree with you. Totally ignore Stella’s comment as even her mum is open to the education from Basic 3. Please give her a chance 🙏
DeletePoster you have a very good heart, may God bless you for that.
DeleteBack to you Stella, this your advice ehn e no follow at all.
It's not that she can't cope oh, but the level her madam is taking her to is higher and bigger for her brain to comprehend at this point.
Let her starts from basic 3 , with lots of effort and hard work, she will definitely strive. Don't stop the lesson teacher from teaching her yet, he should continue till she's perfect.
Age is just a number, not everyone has the opportunity to start and finish school early.
21 yr old being sensible than some mama of 50. Education is a skill, if you get basic education it gives you the Jumpstart you need in everything, that girl in future will be gratefully ifshe takes this opportunity seriously. Thank you dear 21year old and your mama. Blessed family.
DeletePoster it's never too late to start when it comes to education, if her capacity is at the level of basic 3 now, then let her start from basic 3, she'll grow from there.
DeleteThere are people in their 40s, 50s 60s who go back to the university so she'll be fine.
Your children will learn from her because they are always with her. She may be very good with one skill or another. Let her take that part. Maybe schooling is not her calling.
ReplyDeleteSchool is not her calling keh? Her only problem is foundation. Can't you see that she started picking up when they brought in a private tutor? She will pick up if the learning method that the poster has introduced to her will be a continuous one or if the teachers in school will be intentional about making the pupils to learn well. Please don't withdraw her from school at this time because everybody needs basic knowledge of reading and writing, when she picks up on reading and writing then you can leave the rest for God if you will.
DeleteSchooling is her calling, she just did not have the right Foundation and start.
DeletePoster as long as she shows interest in learning, please keep her in school.
Doing the right thing late is better than getting it wrong forever..
ReplyDeleteLet her start from basic three;age means nothing;getting educated means a lot and helps in the way once sees and handle life/people..
Please don’t send her to learn a trade now;she can choose to learn a trade after schooling..
I know people this worked for till date;the Pros is more than the Con,and this girl would appreciate your effort when she is of age and faces the real life..
Please Let her at least do till secondary school,if she decides to learn trade after SS3;that’s the greatest gift you have given to her…
@MARTINS
Good advice. Thumb up for you Martins.
DeleteBoarding school might help her do she’s immersed in English environment with people around her age
ReplyDeleteHowever if that’s not possible, let her do one year of home schooling with a teacher taking her through a complete class not just English
You learn English faster by using by it so focusing on “teaching” her English may not be the best approach
The girl is staying with her to help with some chores at home, sending her to a boarding school will not really help her much.
DeleteIn my humble opinion, I’d suggest to allow her start at basic 3, I think she is slow in learning but by the time she starts with tutoring, she will catch up and excel.
Please give her time and May God bless you for helping and taking the time to allow her go to school. Amen
We had people to live with us and they were speaking good English from no English in under one year
DeleteAll the kids in the house spoke English so you can see how that helps.
She should enrol a maid in boarding school 😯 some advice we see on social media sha
Delete15:40 sorry oh
DeleteWe sent maid to boarding in our family
What’s good for us was good for them
Unfortunately they did not show gratitude but such is life
Let her start from Basic 3 and learn the right things. There's no hurry in life. Age is just a number. She can achieve more if she has the basic knowledge. Trade can come later if she wants. For now, giving her proper education is the key.
ReplyDeleteSend to basic 3 and see her through to secondary school at list if she decide learn a trade then you have don your best. Forget her age because her age is not working for her
Deleteher age is actually too big for basic 3, get a private tutor for her to learn then when she improves she can take the exam again
DeleteYou brought a 13 years old to live with you or to work for you?
ReplyDeleteAn under age? Sigh!
However, I hope you did some due diligence and she wasn't trafficked?.
I hope that besides trying to send her to school, you are kind to her?
Please give her an education.It does not matter when she's starting, as long as you are committed to it, she'll be fine.
GOD bless you.
Hmmmmm. Madam Holier than thou. So self righteous. Where does it say work for you? 🙄
DeleteYou didn’t read the part the OP said that she spoke with the girl’s mum and the mum said she shud let her start basic 3.
DeleteI didn’t know that trafficked person’s parents had access to speak with the traffickers.
Yen yen yen yen, u’d rather the girl stays in the village in absolute poverty and at 17 or 18 she is alrdy married to one village lout and then the vicious cycle of poverty continues.
Nawahoo how trafficking take enter this matter abi no be the same thing we read here?
DeleteYou guys should relax. She just wants the poster to exercise some caution. Not what you Anons are insinuating. Read to understand not to attack comment.
Delete@Makason yes trafficking was not mentioned however she is referring to the circumstances of how she got to know the girl and brought her to the house. That is another angle to look at it.
Anonymous 16: 30 the poster referred to her own mom not the mom of the 13year old. Be calming down to read instead of changing what was narrated. Happy Sunday!
DeleteIf there is an opportunity to bless a child by providing her with formal education, would you call it trafficking?
DeleteAnon 16.21, I too was taken aback by the child's age, I can't bring in anyone less than 18 to help in my house if that's the sole purpose of having her, so I understand 15.25's angle but then, that's me.
DeleteI am one of those people that have reservations about bringing kids to care for kids. It's actually a crime in Lagos state to employ kids that are underage as maid although a lot of people do it and get away with it. The good part is that the poster seems to have taken her with the aim of helping her parents send the girl to school.
DeleteBetter late than never. Basic 2 even won't be a bad. It's she getting it right and well and not how fast. Some children of the rich did this to their not so bright children and that's how "special centers" are sustained and sorting lecturers will never end.
ReplyDeleteI think you should continue with the home lesson cos if you put her in school they will not have the time to teach her one on one
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with BV urch, let her continue with the home tutoring for like one year before registering her in school, by then she would have greatly improved and may probably be able to do upper basic class work. May God bless you for your good heart.
DeleteI agree with this, let her continue the home tutoring, learning English, basic mathematics and basic topics covered by homeschooling for a year. Remember primary school children have no filter, before they'll start mocking her and calling her "olodo", "mama of the class" and co.
DeleteHopefully, after a year, she will be sound enough to join a higher basic class and be able to get educated without lagging behind so much. Thank you for helping this girl, I think an underaged girl can work in a home provided you don't overwork her and have her best interests at heart, a normal 13 year old performs chores na.
Let her start from basic 3, it's mot too late, you can monitor her progress and see how it goes. Don't send her to learn work abeg, it's too early.
ReplyDeleteAll said having a 13 year old you barely knew living with you at her young age and with your man is not a great idea. Let’s protect the girl child. Period. Let her go home and you send school fees money.
ReplyDeleteSee the way you said ‘let her go home and you snd money for school fees’ as if the OP is in anyway obligated to do so. She is there to atleast help wt little house chores. Abi when u were 13 u didn’t help around ur house with anything? What are the girl’s parents doing that you would expect the OP to jst ‘snd the girl home’ n still be snding her sch fees? Abi na she born her?
DeleteNot everybody is married to a bad man, so u insinuating that keeping the girl in her house with ‘her man’ referring to the OP’s husband in that manner is very wrong of you, except if you know them personally or you know wht we don’t or u know smthn that the OP isn’t telling us. Dnt forget some of this less privileged ppl are being molested by their biological parents or uncles. I said less privileged because it is more common amongst them. So what would u say on that?
We should protect the girl child, how about you tell the girl’s parents not to give birth to kids they can’t cater for from the beginning.
I bought brighter grammar books 1 - 4 again after graduating from the University when I was convinced of the need for the books. That set of books were in my primary school books lists
ReplyDeleteIf I am in your shoes, I will start her from Basic 1 as follows:
First term and first half of second term = Basic 1
Second half of second term and third term = Basic 2
Next year = Basic 3
The Basic 1 and 2 classes are very necessary today
The recommended books for my child in Basic 1 are 23 Books!
Let her resume basic 3.she will improve with time. At least, basic education will help her in the future.
ReplyDeleteBetter late than never. She might not be able to cope with primary 6, that's the truth. She can be learning a trade or a work part time and also be doing part time home schooling. I think it'll help her as she ages
ReplyDeleteLet her begin in basic 3
ReplyDeleteIt's not by how far but how well
I have a girl that's living with me too. She could only write 1-10 and A-Z when she came to live with me at age 12
ReplyDeleteShe was placed in nursery 2 bcos the headmistress said foundation matters
After a term she was moved to primary 1 bcos she was able to learn very fast. She's presently in primary 2 and she can read well now.
Pls don't rush her let her go back to primary 3 and let her understand the basics
Thank you. Basic 3 is too high for her.
DeleteI recommended from basic 1. Good to read a teacher recommended nursery 2 in similar situation. The foundation in education is like the foundation of a house or bridge.
Basic 3 cannot be put on nothing and be expected to stand to the girl's benefit.
Learning work is not always easy for an house help. She will resume by 9am and close around creche closing hours. Which will leave her maximum of 4 hours, what will she be able to learn between those hours?
ReplyDeletePoster age is nothing but a number. She does not have the basics so why start at Basic 6? Let her start from basic 1 and continue with home coaching with a teacher. Encourage her often.
ReplyDeleteAfter secondary school, then she can decide on whether to learn a trade or advance to Teritary institution of learning
Also be careful in engaging underaged children to work for you. It is wrong. Just train her till when she is 18years and then she can decide to work for you.
All the best
Nne Biko make she start from the Scratch oo
ReplyDeleteMe self when my Father came to Enugu I run follow am come Lagos
Then in the Village I was using Selat sorry I can't spell it well
Is Only Igbo Lauguague I speak then..My Parents now Error me in Public school primary One o
I enter Class teacher begin speak English
I say chaii Chimo ooo Nne mo ooo
My dear I fail Primary One ooo
The next Year I pick up ooo...
Is not how far
But how well ooo..
With this your write up I believe you. Please don't stop improving. Writing and speaking English is very important especially if you plan to relocate later.
DeleteHmm poster just be ready cos your child will begin to speak a d act like this girl.
ReplyDeleteChildren are very good I copying.
Infact my lil nephew was attending a cheap school where the caregivers speak pidgin, the lil boy loves to speak pidgin now and his parents had to take him out of the school.
Take her back to where you brought her from.
Get a maid that can atleast speak well.
This doesn't stop you from helping her pay her school fees wherever she is if she is your relative.
Her kids won't speak anything other than what her parents taught her. Stop discouraging the poster. Kids learn what ever good u impact in them except for I don't care parent
DeletePoster like your mum said, it's not how far but how well. But at the same, is she the girl mentally prepared to endure the mocking, provocation and even hazing that may come from being a pre teen in the midst of minors?
ReplyDeleteTry sit her down, have a chat with her on the available options of academic, or vocation. If she wants to go the academic route, intimate her on the challenges ahead for her as a late starter, and also the opportunity that academic will open up for her.
If she opts for learning a vocation, you can ask her what vocation she will be interested in learning. Although, we tend to dismiss vocational learning as being for academic never do wells, but that is not completely true as some vocations demand some measure of basic arithmetic for purposes of accuracy in measurement. Using your discretion as an adult, and what you know about her capabilities, you can choose the best vocation for her.
In all, make her see she can achieve success and make a bright future for herself, if she is determined and focused on any route she chooses.
Lastly, I commend you Poster for having her(maid) self development at heart. Your kind are few and far between. Like Stella pointed out above, her level of intelligence and capacity could trickle down on your kids if she is the one majorly around them, so do get something for her soonest. Have a blessed week ahead.
Exactly what I wrote up there, we had a 16 year old in my Pry 6 class, nobody mocked her cos we were a little matured by then but if she's in Basic 3, they will mock her and that might even affect her learning process. I think she should continue the home training for a while longer till she gets a better foundation, then try entrance exam again to see how far.
DeleteTake her to govt school she will be accepted in pry 6 then get a good lesson teacher for her at home. Atleast if she doesn't pass her exams she will still go to secondary as long as it is govt they will tolerate her but for you to help her more just sacrifice the extra lesson pay. Education for her age is best than vocation esp with ur kids. I pray she is well behave to acknowledge the sacrifices. God bless you 🙏
ReplyDeleteSomething is wrong with the system when a 13 yr old is illiterate in 2023. How is that even possible? The child was born in 2010 and does not have basic education. These are the things the govt should be ramping up. There is no reason for anyone born in the 2000s to be illiterate.
ReplyDeleteFull-time school for at least five years is what she needs. I do not see how she can work for you doing childminding and find the time to catch up so much. You are only 8 yrs older than she is, not that much. If you can find an agency that takes in young girls and help them with schooling and developing them to become girls of purpose that may be the best route to take. Yes, it will mean losing her and having to find someone else, but if you want to do good, it will not always be easy. Making contact with the local girl guides association will be a good start.
My dear e shock me o . Why is an underage your maid ? Nigeria has failed itself. Lawd have mercy
DeleteAnon 17:02, I wanted to address that too, but I realize that such practise is so ingrained in the culture that it doesn't seem strange to most. So much to unpack in this chronicle.
DeleteHow can Nigeria be a competitive economy on the global market when there are 13yr olds who are illiterate at a time when most countries have a 100% literacy rate, or close to it. Literacy shouldn't even be a matter of money, it is a basic human right. Obviously this child wasn't living in some remote uncontacted area if the bv could have found her. Ridamndiculous
Thank you poster, so far you have gone. Please, put her in basic 3. She will learn better By God’s Grace
ReplyDeleteEUM Cali
I agree with your mother, it is not how far but how well.
ReplyDeleteDo as your mummy said.
And by the way, thank you so much for caring for this girl genuinely. 🤗
Dear Poster, your mum is right. If you want to do something, do it well or not at all.
ReplyDeleteMe that started primary 3 at age 20 what will you now say about me? Allow her start from primary 1 sef. Even better. God bless your kind heart.
ReplyDeletePoster, thank you for your concerns towards the child. From experience, some of them do run away if they feel ashamed they are a lot older than their class mates. So I advise you sit her down and ask her well if she wants to go to school. Let her know she might be older than her class mates but she shouldn't be shy. Prep talk her well else if she runs, you will lose on both the help she's to render you and the one you wish to render her.
ReplyDeleteAfter talking to her, if she's interested, enroll her in basic 3 as the teacher suggested. It's their job, they know better. I would have said she should start from scratch but the teacher should know best.
After speaking to her if you think she is not ready, then let her learn a vocation as Stella suggested. I actually prefer Stella's advice because it's fisible. That girl will not stay with you forever so you can't school her till she gets a degree but learning trade is giving her a start in life no matter where she finds herself in the future.
Feasible**
DeleteStart from basic 3 foundation matters if she speak wrong English do correct her as well she will upgrade ,bless your kind heart, somebody said is it possible to have an illiterate in this 2023 , hnhnh some parents don't have shishi to send their children to sch, that's why if they re lucky they meet this type of poster
ReplyDeleteLike ur mother said it is not how far but how well, the one staying with me is 12 years old, wen she came last year she couldn’t spell her name n surname I taught her that for one week, starting teaching her at home gradually. This is someone that has finished primary school in her state, September we went for examination to enter school she was given primary 3 reader she couldn’t read it, so she was place in primary 2. She will pick up forget about the age.
ReplyDelete12yr old maid ??!! Kawai una dey try o. Dem forbid una to take adults as maid?
DeletePoster, pls enrol her in school. She will definitely pick up. My friend got a girl from Bauchi, a year ago. This girl couldn't say good morning, as in she couldn't speak English. We taught her what we could, and my friend enrolled her in school. She started from JS1. This is someone her family said she stopped at SS1 o. She's in JS2 (18years old), and she's picking up. When she speaks, and makes a mistake we correct her. I try to check her school work when I see her to be sure she on track. So PLEASE , enrol her.
ReplyDeletedear poster please put her in the basic 3, i dont really have knowledge of this basic 1 or 2 i know primary one or 2 call me old school, i got an 11year old girl that came to leave with me courtesy of my dad and his wahala, i enrolled her in a good private school she failed her entrance exams to that will enable her to enter primary 3 so she was put in primary 1, but in less than 1 year i saw her pick up and by the time she got to primary 4 I made her attempt common entrance right now she is in JSS2, she speaks very well, her diction is soo good, she now relieves me from home work duty with my daughter that's in nursery 2 I only cross check when i get back from work, my question will be if she is smart she will pickup i no time with your help cause trust me that girl will be of good use to you soon, and anything she learns just know she will bring them home good or bad so give her good education and you will thank yourself someday you did.
ReplyDeletePoster let her start from the basic 3. At least let her have her FSLC before learning a skill.
ReplyDeletePoster please enroll her in the last nursery class where the last series of Queen primer is taught since she has mastered two letter words. Not necessarily spending the entire session, but can stay only first term depending on how fast she's learning before moving her to primary session like primary 2.
ReplyDeleteA 16 years old girl from the north that has never been to school before was promoted from nursery 2(same class with the 5 years old she came to baby sit) to my Son's class then basic 2 . She has been with them presently in basics 5, very sound, reads and writes and preparing for Common entrance at the age of 19.
I believe it's because the school refused to compromise no matter the age, and she has achieved basic education which is most important. With determination, there is nothing impossible, allow her to get basic education first irrespective of age, she can decide on continuing or learning a skill later.
Primary 3 is even too high for her. Let her start from nursery 3.
ReplyDeleteLet her start from basic 3. same thing happened with my house help. I put him in basic 2. Got him an after school tutor(his class teacher precisely was his tutor. Reason for her to know what’s he’s lacking and to focus there). Now he’s 15 and in Jss 1. Also he’s one of the best in his class now. There’s no rush in life. It’s not how far but how well.
ReplyDelete