Hmmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ONE NIGHT STAND
I am in a fix......
Please read carefully and advice me cos whatever decision i take will have an impact on me and those I am about to hurt.....
I work in a very big corporate company, it is big and the staff is a lot..
I am married to a sweet man and we are both in our late 40*s and have spent the most years trying to get pregnant.... We have both done medical checks in Nigeria and abroad and both of us were certified medically fit and we have been waiting on God to bless us...
I have already given up on having kids and did not even think about adopting...I decided to live my best life and even advised my husband to get someone to give him kids....My frame of mind concerning this is that i do not want to kill myself over something i have no control over.....
My husband who has been under pressure from his old parents to give them a grandchild recently agreed to get a side chic and get her pregnant..He has my consent and i trusted that he would not fuck up but I am the one that has fucked up..
I cannot go into details but i mistakenly slept with someone close to me (I use the mistake cos it was planned and it was the circumstances leading to what happened that i cannot explain here cos i might give my identity away with it)
I am officially pregnant with twins and i know that the children is not for my husband but for the person that i mistakenly slept with....
The person that i mistakenly slept with does not know that i am pregnant for him.....
I am confused, how was my husband declared medically fit in Nigeria and abroad and then i slept with someone else just once and i am pregnant? I am three months pregnant but not showing at all and not sick.....I have been in shock and waiting to be really certain that I am really pregnant.
I am keeping this baby...Oh i am ready to lose my marriage to have this children.
Should i confess to my husband and give him the choice of deciding if we should both accept the pregnancy and pretend it is his own or keep quiet and let him think it is his own or leave him and tell him the reason i want to leave?I am not myself, too overjoyed about the pregnancy and dont care about anything else but i am also not thinking straight and dont want to make a mistake...
If you were me, what would you do? Does it mean my husband has a problem?
If you were me, what would you do? Does it mean my husband has a problem?
WOW WOW WOW WOW .... did you say Twins? If i am you, I will tell him everything but i will leave and not stay in that marriage anymore because it can never be the same and no matter under what circumstances you got pregnant, it does not change the fact that you are a cheater....Most Nigerian men never forget or forgive a wife who cheated....#Congrats on the pregnancy...Keep it.
You didn't "mistakenly" sleep with him, and you did that without protection. Hmmm. What if you had gotten stds? Tell your husband the truth, keep your babies. Congrats.
ReplyDeleteKeep the pregnancy ma'am but tell your husband the truth!
DeleteI can tell you for free that your husband knows he cant father a child. cos trust me he has been trying, my question is how far can he go to keep this a secret. I fear for your your safety. take leave from work and travel out, when you are out of the country you can then inform him and let him know your family members are aware and a few friends that you were confused and seeking advice hence the reason why everyone else knows instead of him. This will deter him from harming you. Congratulations, with all the money you guys have, why didnt you do IVf cos that would have confirmed he was shooting blanks.
DeleteMehn this is so bad 😭😭😭. Everywhere don scatter 😔😔😔
ReplyDeleteWow
ReplyDeleteUnquestionable God.. Twins, I think u should tell him everything but know that the marriage is over even if he pretends not to bother about who the father is..
Ur husband may not have a problem, just God doings.. I'm just so happy for u..
Tell him you went to a sperm bank to try IVF and it worked. You didn't carry him along this time on your IVF trial because you thought he might just be the problem. You have the money madam, buy your way through. Your marriage is gone if you even mentioned you slipped on a stupid banana peel and fell on a dick. Mtcheeeeeeewwwww...
ReplyDeleteTake this advice oooo!!!I am screaming!!!
DeleteYour advice is good but the man she cheated with will know that she is carrying his baby when he calculates the days
DeleteWhat kind of nonsense advice is this? Would you give this advice if reverse was the case? make una dey fear God o
DeleteDoes the man know whether she sleeps with other men? She should relocate. That marriage is gone.
DeleteWhat's the need to lie?
DeleteTell him and see what happens afterwards
If the marriage ends then so be it
Saph Saph Saph🙄..
DeleteWhat's your problem with honesty..
Haba!
Don't you know lies don't stay hidden forever?
What about her conscience, is this the kind of secret you want her to be waking up to everyday..
Haba nah
Sometimes your comments self saphire. What sort of lie is this. So she should continue in her lies and not tell the truth?? What about the kids. Don’t they deserve to know their father. A lot of women like you are just so selfish in your ways and thinking.
DeleteShe has earned everything a troubled conscience can bring. How does anyone make a mistake and sleep with with someone? And without protection too? See, some men can be so desperate for kids that even when they suspect she is lying may find it easier not to know and move on. I am sure she must have done IVF severally and know how hectic the process is. Na she Sabi.
DeleteOr better still, just find one stupid excuse and leave the marriage. When he comes begging you tell him about the babies. If he wants you back like that, fine.
Anty saph shame onto you. Shame shame shame!!! People like you have turned humanity into something else.
DeleteAnd if that man were to be your brother or son?? Damn… naah
Y’all should know, the things you advise people to do on here might later on in life be done to one of your most loved ones.
Open up, tell him everything but leave out details of the man. But find out the status of his side chick before you say anything. Then don’t tell him you are open to ending the marriage so he doesn’t harm you. If he decides he want to end it and return your dowry, don’t be openly happy about it. If he decides to accept it, remember you will always sleep with your 2 eyes open and a day will come when he will start telling them to gettat of his face like do I look like your father. If you are in a great place with your parents, please tel them, FIRST, to seek their opinion on the way forward.
ReplyDeleteThink Smart!!!!
Congrats on advance! 😘
👍
DeleteI agree tell your parents and seek for their opinion first.
DeleteGoodluck
You have spoken well
DeleteIf he is trying with his side chick,why should he be mad that she tried with her side cock? Abeg, tell him. If he decides to leave, let him go. For all you know, he may have been donating someone else's sperm for the tests all along. Don't lie about them being his. It's better to face the music today and be free than to get anxious whenever DNA tests are mentioned around you.
DeletePlease keep the babies, if possible relocate abroad and tell your husband from there. If he is not happy with you then file for divorced. With you been abroad at least you will be safe from unforeseen circumstance. I pray your husband understands and not harm you. I wish you all the best and safe delivery in advance.
ReplyDeleteWow, wow, congratulations! As for your husband tell him and leave rest for God, but don't expect anything. If he wants out allow him and if the father of the babies is a good man, let him know. Good luck
DeleteAbroad abroad yen yen yen. Going to a new country with twins and no help. You think it’s easy?!??? I’m in the same abroad and childcare is freaking expensive with hardly any help. Everybody’s working. Poster it’s better to find a cheap good nanny in naija than abroad!!
DeleteThis is serious…hmmm
ReplyDeleteHmmm, oro yi o so si mi lenu, o buyo si
ReplyDeleteAbeg make interpreter do him work
Keep the pregnancy and confess. Let the cards fall where they may.
ReplyDeleteGbam!!
Delete💯💯
DeletePls tell your husband.
ReplyDeleteHe needs to know the pregnancy doesn’t belong to him.
Do not try to cover a sin with another sin please.
If I was in your shoes, I would choose my babies over my marriage.
Your husband has to make the decision to remain married to you or not.
I would leave though…
Poster your husband is likely medically fine too, some people are just medically incompatible no matter how hard they try.
ReplyDeleteTell your husband the truth, don't give him suggestions, let him make his decision himself, he deserves that.
The one night stander too deserves to know the truth in my opinion, however, you let him know you are not going to force him to take any responsibility.
Mehnnn, such complexity.
Medically incompatible? Never know such a thing exists except for genotypes
DeleteTrue, I had a coursemate whose sister and the husband couldn't get children for about 8 to 10 years, after their divorce they both had children with their new partners the same year.
Deleteyeah, it's like their rhesus factor don't match, something like that . most TTC couples have this rhesus factor issue.
DeleteWow
DeleteSo how will people watch out while choosing a partner to avoid ending up with someone they are not medically compatible with? What should they be on the lookout for?
DeleteAt Sljm they should get tested
DeleteThere are injections for rhesus factor na and it doesn't prevent first pregnancy. It only becomes an issue if the woman has a baby, abortion, or miscarriage and does not get the injection.
DeleteBut he might have impregnated his side chic also, it's better you tell him and let him decide on what he wants.
ReplyDeleteYou both are in an open marriage
What’s good for the goose....
ReplyDeleteHe accepted your permission to try his luck
You “tried” yours and it worked
I would tell him
Aas in eh, best advice ever
DeleteIf the husband is not partial he won't even be mad at her
She should have told him that she wanted to try her luck
DeleteI agree with everything Stella said except the place she bluntly said you are a cheater🤣. I mean Stella has no sugar coating in her Kai.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, congratulations. Please tell your husband but move out the very day you tell him. He might be too ashamed and no one knows what the devil will use him to do. Stay out and if he wants you back, be sure he's genuine. Do not keep the info away from your twins father as well, no one deserves that.
I worry for her safety honestly. That’s bruising his ego completely.
DeleteNo matter what you do,keep those babies.i nor get advice for you.
ReplyDeleteTell him and pray he doesn't pouce o you out of anger. He can start firing his sidechic anyway. No be today you start to knack this your baby daddy sha.
ReplyDeleteLol..
DeleteYou dey mind her? She been riding that 🍆 since. She think we’re kids.🙄
DeleteKeep the pregnancy,but I don't support telling him o. Just tell him it's IVF or something,no man will know his wife slept with another man and still be at peace
ReplyDeleteSome men will take their cheating wife back. This man ,I think he is impotent so he is likely going to take her back because adoption, Ivf or surrogacy may not be easy for him
DeleteFollow Stella's advice.
ReplyDeleteThe pressure Africans and the world put on married couples (men and women) to have children is mind-boggling to the extent people loose a lot just to procreate. Sheesh, Africa really needs to evolve. Smh 🤦🤦🤦
ReplyDeleteJoro was and is right afterall.😄
ReplyDeleteTo be honest, I think the side chick thing she mentioned is just to exonerate herself, they probably never had such agreement, if not she wouldn't be feeling this guilty. Anyways, I would advise she comes clean.
DeleteStella which one be cheat, abeg babe I'm too happy for you, your hubby has a side chick, tell him if he accepts is because he knows he's impotent and probably o manipulated the results. Keep the bundle of joys and get ready to get your apartment, congrats, Asokale ayo by his grace.
ReplyDeleteI just love the way Female Bvs write in their chronicles to get the answers they want to hear and the validation of decisions already taken.
ReplyDeleteAs in eh.....
DeleteLol
DeleteLOL
DeleteWow congratulations poster.
ReplyDeleteMaybe if you had slept with your husband same period it would have been his and your child.
Or maybe your body and your husbands body doesn't match, I don't know how to explain buy I have heard some pme say it that if a couple doesn't match biologically they might not have kids. It doesn't mean your husband is infertile.
Plan your exit and then tell your husband. Cos he won't take it likely that you cheated. He will want to try to pregnant someone yo know if he is truly fertile.
It is well o
You sinned against God by committing adultery so ask God to forgive you by mercy. See this pregnancy as natural IVF via donor sperm! Tell your husband you just found out that you're pregnant. You don't need to discuss the cheating part with him. Keep the babies! Congratulations 🎉🎉🎉
ReplyDeleteIf the husband believes all she said and settles it in his mind that he has finally had a child that will take after him and suddenly the real dad of the child comes to claim his kids what should the woman's husband do?
Delete16:05, You just mentioned she committed a sin and the need for her to ask God for forgiveness, and you're now encouraging her to commit another sin by lying to the husband, it doesn't make sense.
DeletePoster, congratulations on your pregnancy, please open up to your husband about the pregnancy and be safety conscious around him.
From my side of Nigeria, any child a woman gave birth to while married belongs to her husband. Even if the entire village know her as being adulterous or the child comes as a carbon copy of her lover. Except the husband comes out openly to reject the child.
DeleteIt was not a mistake, but planned as you "mistakenly said. "Tell your husband about it; otherwise, the side chick might pin a baby that is not his to him.
ReplyDeleteFor the marriage, just make up your mind of the eventuality... That marriage will never remain the same, as Stella rightly said.
Tell your husband the truth. But from where came from, they're your husband's baby whether he impregnated you or not.
ReplyDeleteMehn!!! 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
ReplyDeleteSee advice 🤷♀️
I'm just here wondering if this poster were to be a man. Will trailer be able to pack the curses that will be thrown at him on here?
Madam Poster, ignore all comments advising you to keep the truth away from your man. As if cheating is not enough, they want you to add deception. Please don't kick a dying man. Confess everything to your husband and be ready to walk out of the marriage. Of course, don't abort your babies. But that man deserves to know the truth.
Most of the advice poster is recieving is because of the way she painted her story, there were many options to explore rather than asking her husband to get a side chick. I still insist she's being economical with the truth, if they had such agreement, she probably wouldn't be panicking like this, and I still feel this wasn't a one night stand.
DeleteNo curses cause she didn’t lie on him
DeleteDidn’t say he’s a terrible person
Just said what she did
Also remember he was working with a side chick too so equation balanced
This woman was already climbing a dick...and knew she wanted to get pregnant and manipulated her husband to find another man because she had already planned an exit.
DeleteShe knew what she was doing. She has a good husband but manipulated him to accept to get a side chick...knowing fully well that she was sleeping with another man.
Her..' Can't come and kill myself' statement gave her away.
Reason to leave judgement to God ,do whatever you wanted it is so complicated
ReplyDeleteWhat if this man never want you to have kids with him all these years.
ReplyDeleteBe far before you break the news pls, i wish you luck, it's your time.
Even the person you cheated with will know that it's his child you are carrying because he'll ask himself 'why is she only able to convince within the period that I slept with her? whereas she never got pregnant all these years that she has been sleeping with her husband alone ' Yes, such questions will creep into his mind; except he is not the only person that you have been cheating on your husband with. I am sure this is not your first time of cheating on your husband. Anybody that you even cheated on your husband with will like to find out through any means if the child is his. And what if after some time the child begins to look like their real dad?
ReplyDeleteMy advice is this; tell your husband everything and watch his reaction. Stay if he still loves you and wouldn't want you to go even after the revelation because it's going to be more heartbroken if you leave when he still wants you to stay.
Secondly, don't inform that guy that you are pregnant. Don't even let him know that you are carrying a baby in your womb. I would have asked you to make an agreement with your husband now for both of you to leave that vicinity entirely to an unknown destination until you give birth. By doing so, that guy won't be able to have an iota of idea that you got pregnant within the period you slept with him. When you put to bed don't let anybody from that area or even your family and his family to know that you have put to bed. This is to be able to conceal the information of your pregnancy completely from your cheating partner.
That’s so so selfish. You’re such a selfish person. What about the kids?? Don’t they deserve to know their father? Dem go grow up it’s identity issues and all. This is not fair at all. Poster biko let this man know. It’s up to him to accept. I’m sure you’re financially capable to care for your kids but he deserves to know!!!
DeleteI am a selfish person. You can also say same to those who adopted kids right? Or you want to tell me that adopted kids don't deserve to know their biological parents? At least know the hometown of their adopted parents? You know most of their parents are alife right? Even if their parents are not alife , they should know the family from which their biological parents came from right? After all they deserve to know according to you because they are humans. If you were in a position of ttcing or impotent and you adopt a child, I hope you will take them to their biological parents some day. You will tell those in charge of the orphanage to take you to where they got the child from at least let them know where their biological parents came from
DeleteAnd anon 17:08 let me ask you this and you should reply in all sincerity.
DeleteIf you were the main husband of this poster and you are impotent. Your wife gets pregnant from outside, she comes to reveal the secret to you and you forgave her and took her back and accepted to take care of the kids as yours, then all of a sudden you discover that the real dad of the kids is coming to claim the kids, will you still Keep the woman and the kids in your house?
She's pregnant for someone's husband naa.
DeleteWhich one is the kids deserve to grow up and know their father? Did the man tell you he wants kids with poster? Abegi, if posters husband is unwilling to accept them as his, she should respect herself and raise them alone especially if that man is married.
DeleteCongratulations on your upcoming divorce. Schemer. No one is a fool here. Don't play on our intelligence. You planned it, timed your ovulation and engaged in unprotected sex. You've gotten what you want. Stop babbling.
ReplyDeleteGbam. She sure did.
DeleteAbi o. Only the truth shall set her free.
DeleteGoodluck madam
You are absolutely spot on
DeleteI don't get the babbles/twaddles
Lol..
DeleteAnd even took fertility tablets too, that explains the twins
The guy may want her anyways
DeleteAbi.
DeleteEyes wey no look Stella's Blog, neva read anitin.
Even my screen fear some comments.
But it's too bad of your hubby to keep his impotency as a secret from you all these years. He is wicked. Why not reveal it to you so that you can both find solution to it. My mind is telling me that he manipulated the results both home and abroad.
ReplyDeleteGbam. This is most likely what Happened. Imagine late 40s and got pregnant. Hmmm is it the man all this while???
DeleteI doubt, e fit be winchy winchy..
DeleteBut if truly he did that, then it's another reason for her to be honest and leave cos he'll sure know the baby isn't is and might come up with an evil plan for her
What if the man is also fertile and not impotent as you assumed?
DeleteAnne k, well, I just read comments upthere talking about not being medically compatible. Have never heard of any other medical incompatibility except for genotype issues. So let's assume that if the man isn't impotent then medical incompatibility may be their problem.
DeletePls tell it all to your husband.truly, things will never remain the same again in your home.its well.
ReplyDeleteAnd you conveniently skipped the marital status of the baby daddy. All of you shouting congrats, hope u know it cud be ur husband or ur sister’s husband???
ReplyDeleteAnd when the wife of the Man sends in her chronicle, the comments would be divided in two. The one against today's poster, and the other plenty against the Baby father.
DeletePoster sha be careful so this man won’t plan for you out of anger. Be very very careful. You didn’t tell him you’ll also step out of your marriage so that might mess him up.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations!Wish you all the best.God answers prayer in mysterious ways
ReplyDeleteTell him where you can get away safe. I sincerely fear for your safety
ReplyDeleteMy people, let's call a spade a spade, if this is a man, would most of you give this exact comment. Say the truth and nothing but the truth
ReplyDeleteAtink you see ?
DeleteYes only because he had already gone to try his luck
DeleteDear poster this looks like a planned mission. You didn't mention whether you tried IVF or other assisted reproduction methods since you guys have the money. In as much I am against adultery, I will advise you to tell your husband. Since you have made up your mind to keep it and damn the consequence even if it cost you loosing your marriage, you stand to loose nothing. It is better he knows his medical status. When he is in a good mood, you could start by asking him what willbe his reaction if he heard you got pregnant for somebody else, that will give you an idea of how to tell him about the pregnancy if need be or not. I pray for God's wisdom for you on this.
ReplyDeleteHey! Poster never you allow anyone judge you because men will do this a hundred times and still be hailed for it!
ReplyDeleteKeep your babies and be happy, tell him about it the way they will tell us if it were them!
Allow him to train those kids unknowingly jare
Nk,
DeleteSincerely, would you want your brother or male relative to be a victim of paternity fraud.
19:18
DeleteAre you just being sarcastic or for real?
I guess NK wanted to type 'DON'T allow him to train those kids unknowingly
DeleteSlim,
DeletePlease read in context.
It is very rare to omit a first important qualifying word in a sentence. And the "jare" at the end of her comments and the specific last sentence caps all she wrote from beginning.
Trust you know the meaning of "jare" and the import of its use in the the circumstance of the post and her comments. When a warning is given or intended in the language, "O" is the usual last emphasizing word. And that is when "Don't" may be very well thought to have been omitted from the sentence. The use of "Don't" and "jare" in the last sentence would be very inconsistent.
Some of us (Bvs) are teachers so we know how to use words to communicate.
Some of us (Bvs) are trained interpreters of in words.
All said, she is a very photogenic woman.
Please make sure you keep the babies.
ReplyDeleteAll bases covered by Poster. As the cliche says, only a woman knows the father of her pregnancy.
ReplyDeleteBut erm, Poster, did you and your husband meet before, during and after your planned mistake? That base appears side footed in your narrative. If you gave your husband the go ahead to go outside, was it on the basis that you will stay inside? If you gave your husband permission, why the worry?
Yet when Broda D talks some of us complains.
ReplyDelete😮😯 congratulations ma
ReplyDeleteLizzy baby
My question is how do you know you're pregnant with twins if you're 3 months pregnant. Doesn't it takes longer to get the ultrasound?
ReplyDeleteU be jjc o
DeleteSometimes, this is how our comments circles.
ReplyDeleteA woman says she is willing and ready to leave her marriage because of pregnancy from adultery.
A Bv who is the mother of daughter(s) advises her to stay in the marriage without telling her husband.
Another Bv, a woman who is the mother of son(s) reads the advice and warns her son(s) to be wary of his wife/their wives and to do paternity tests on children born in by his wife/their wives.
The wife or one of the wives is a Bv. She chronicles that her husband is overly suspicious of her and wants to use family needed funds to do DNA test on their child(ren).
Female Bvs scream: What an insult! They tell her to agree or not to agree to the test, and add that she should start billing her husband premium in the marriage since he has money to waste, some say that would be the end of the emotional and or trust part(s) of the marriage, some say they would leave the marriage, some say ..., etc.
Some comments are like pebbles thrown in a placid lake. The ripples/waves created always reach the lake shores no matter how softly they do.
Mr. Mann
Please follow the sperm donor advice. Don't ever admit you slept with anyone.
ReplyDelete