Hmmmm....
SHOCKING DISCOVERY
Since then my mind it's not at rest their routine is just church ,school and home , I left the market early this year to balance home and business cos my husband is not in the country.
I have a 16 years old help a girl living with me , so later I asked him where did you learn to touch yourself/ who taught you he said nobody so what I did now is that we sleep in the same bed him and his bro so what I did now is to be facing them while sleeping, I noticed that he struggles with the erection ,cos I ve told him to stop that ,that a child of God shouldn't be doing this that it's too early for him .
Yesterday evening my help I entered her room I saw her hands in her panties she wearing leggings ,my mind is running haywire .
Should I tell his dad when he is back we are raising them to be godly children I want to get it right with parenting, why is a man's body anatomy so receptive to emotions like this , for how long will this continue 5 yrs I didn't believe it , we re doing our best to raise them to be responsible .
I have asked if he can say maybe he saw from somewhere or he learned but he said nobody I don't know what to do. Men in the house pls talk to me as for my help I'm always watching to see if they will be in any compromising situation I'm very watchful concerning the news everyday, the only time I warned her was when I saw her recording herself twerking with the children's tablet, and a day she gave him the tablet to snap her though she is wearing a bra let singlet I warned her why she will give him phone to snap her don't she have shame ,I don't know what I'm thinking again should I tell the dad over the phone or if he is back..
he is a sweet boy we love him , is it something he will stop at the long run before he fall prey , since then I do tell him to lie sideways instead of face up cos his hand tends to rock his preek but cos I'm looking at him he won't ,abeg I need advice and best way to handle it, from the place of a mother who wants to raise a godly child for a future daughter in law pls I need your inputs thanks
STELL PLS POST
STELL PLS POST
Hmmmmm.....Please take him to a doctor who can question him pĆ¼roperly, he might be scared to reply you..
Get trid of that little help in your house at once...It is obvious that she is already experimenting with your little boys.....
Get rid of her and wait for your husband to arrive before discussing anything with him..
As A Mother you need to be more vigilant!!!
If you will follow the advice. Get rid of the help first
ReplyDeleteDon’t get rid of any help
DeleteGo and read
Your child touched his own body. It felt good and he is doing it
If you stop getting all worked up, he will move on. Even 4 year olds notice touching their body by themselves “tickles”. If you’re still not sure, then speak with a knowledgeable doctor. For those who might say they never noticed this with their kids, please note that kids are different and also you can’t notice everything they do
This is a piece from whet to expect
Toddlers are naturally curious about exploring their whole bodies, including their genitals. Here's how to handle this normal stage of development.
When your little one starts touching herself, don't worry, stress or get embarrassed. Your toddler has discovered a part of her body that may have gone largely unexplored during infancy. What's more, she might have learned that touching her genitals feels good.
I noticed that some boys of that age do that from time to time. My boy touches himself especially after taking his bath, but as soon as he wears his cloths, he won't do it all-through. I told him I will start wearing him pampers to school and his mates will laugh at him. He wanted to cry that day and promised never to try it.
DeletePoster be on the alert especially when he's lying down watching cartoon. Also, always pray for him as well that no negative spirit will influence and possess him.
Mao Akuh
The behavior of the house help is suspicious. You can get maybe a trained therapist to interview your son. You also want to be careful, because you do not also want to scar him for life, with so many interrogations, I know someone who all these threats of hell fire and heaven talk while he was younger contributed to him developing anxiety disorder. So if you have determined no one is negatively influencing him, then ignore, he would grow out of it.
DeleteYou no lie anon. During my first job as a caregiver when I landed Canada, I saw things. Boys that didn't even know their names, mute, deaf, couldn't shower or clean themselves up without help were wanking. It made me ask lots of questions. Where did they learn that from? Is it not wrong in the eyes of God? Does it mean it's natural to have these feelings? If so, what does God want us to do with these strong urges we are meant to have? I'm 34, not married, trying real hard to be celibate, what does God want me to do with my sexual urges especially as He hasn't given me a husband. Tired!
DeleteI don't think it is normal for a 5 year old to *SEXUALLY* touch themselves. They might touch themselves playfully but not sexually and MOANING...something triggered it. Install a CCTV in the bathroom used by your kids, your help's room, the children's room and your living room, monitor for a month or more before deciding on what to do with your help. Twerking and recording on the children's tablet, what if your Oga comes across it someday, if you must keep her, you must warn her seriously, na from clap dem dey enter dance.
DeleteGet an older help but warn them that childrens privates are no go areas
ReplyDeleteNot that older helps don’t indulge but hormones are not as hot as before
That’s what I do
And if you catch any. Pls prosecute
Reminder; Get rid of the help!!!
Zendaya
Parenting is not an easy task at all, May God continue to bless all parents
ReplyDeleteššššššššššš
ReplyDeleteMadam, something is wrong somewhere. The house girl might not even know anything about it. Not saying she is totally innocent but just trying to look both ways.
Dies your child mingle with children around you?
How sure are you that, the house girl doesn't leave him to play with anyhow children?
Again, I don't trust all these small girl's of this age again. I fear them pass adult oooo. They get engaged into so many funny and nasty things.
Do as said by Stella anyways. I pray my good Lord will help you train your children well because we need God's help in training up a child
Pinky our compound is gated house with six occupants we stay upstairs and you have to ring a bell before you come up, I asked if he learned it in sch if anybody is touching him he said no,our church is Sunday sch class with his age mates thereafter we re back so I don't know honestly,
DeleteSo sorry about your ordeal poster. Stop pestering your son,just be watchful and prayerful. Send the girl packing. You can get help,that comes and goes. Take him to counselling classes. I quitted my job,10 years ago,because of househelp issues. And I thank God everyday for that decision. Though I don't make enough from my business,like when I was working.
ReplyDeleteMadam, take your son for a stroll, buy him sweet and question him, if nothing. Always engage him.
DeleteMao Akuh
Hhmmm. This is the formative age and thank God you noticed on time. This is an habit he might have developed on his own. You just have to keep a watchful eyes on him and everything going on around him and sit him down and tell him it is not a good thing to be touching his penis and he should not allow anyone to touch it or did anybody touch it or ask him to touch it. Note that male penis can stand on its own when they are sleeping especially early morning when they want to pee. It shows a functional penis. But his moaning gives room for concern. Just be on the watch out to know what is actually happening. Don't panic, it may not be what you are thinking. Also pray with him.
ReplyDeleteExactly
DeleteMao Akuh
Ok thank you
DeleteDon't stress yourself he will stop. My son will be 4 by November and he was like this. I noticed it but I did not make noise about it. Its nature. He will stop. My son has stopped touching himself and carrying erect pens up and down. It's well.
Delete19:31, was your son moaning? A child exploring his/her body is not really a concern, but moaning while doing that is a very big concern. Poster, get rid of your house help and bond with your son. Ask him questions like ' did anyone tell you not to tell mummy something, did the person
Deletesay you or mummy will get hurt/killed if you tell mummy that someone touched your Pen*s. Send that house help away for now and figure out what's happening to your beloved child. Good luck
Ewoo dauda the sexy boy. He’ll be fine take him to the doctor there might be a medical explanation for it. I6 yrs old as househelp? Na una dey find trouble
ReplyDeleteNa wa, what? 5 years old, God abeg oo. Don't even know what to say ma. I just hope the damage hasn't gone deep.
ReplyDeleteMay not be the help, Stella. If the help was her daughter who she caught masturbating, would she send her away too?
ReplyDeleteMadam, you want to raise perfect children? Good but you can only do your best . Don't use worrying to kill yourself.
Them go still fornicate.
But she is not her daughter, and something can be done right?
DeleteWhy do people always ask, if its your daughter /son. But it is not the case, and she needs help.
Your children growing right is the priority here.
16:47 the point is the help hasn’t done anything wrong by touching herself
DeleteWhy are you entering her room unannounced anyway. She’s 16
It's raining I went to close her window not that I'm suspicious of her but cos I saw her ,I was like you know mind maybe he has seen her doing so ,I don't want to involve her by what I found out about him , but just want to be careful or connect a likely dot in the mix
DeleteI'd say your help has a hand in this(pun unintended). While it is easy to say that male kids can be inquisitive in that aspect(my son is fond of reaching down there a lot but he does it innocently as a 3 year old), some measure of caution needs to be adopted.
ReplyDeleteMy first sexual experience was when i was 7 years old. My parents hired a help. She was probably in her 20s. But she did things to me that looking back now, were terribly wrong. For that reason, I am mostly attracted to ladies who are above my age. I feel nothing for any lady I'm older than. These kind of things have far reaching consequen cies.
In all though, apply wisdom. Your husband may probably waive it off though. Get CCTV installed to be sure.
A lot of men get attracted to the type of person (older women, male, etc.) that introduced them to their first sexual pleasure.
DeleteSame thing happens to my neighbor son
ReplyDeleteTake your child to the Dr preferably a pediatrician. You will be sent out for privacy and he might open up. Perhaps there might be a medical explanation for it.
ReplyDeleteIt's only be God's grace that you will be able to raise near perfect children. Don't over think it and stop pestering him with questions.
Hmmm, I pray GOD helps us.
ReplyDeleteMost children cartoons, even most netflix movies now are filled with lgbt stories.
My son told me that he watched one children cartoon where the man was talking about how good and kind, selfless and loving gay people are.
That he wanted to be one until he continued how they can even marry their male partner that is allowed.
He told me he was shocked and started thinking how a man can marry a man, no, that is not good and changed channel.
There's a book welcome to sex, where children are taught about consenting or rejecting sexual advances but when they are consenting,they should be able to explore, imagine children book talking about *Rimming*.
Please take Stella's advice,try make your children ,your good friend
Your child is acting his age
ReplyDeleteStop worrying yourself
Dear poster, you need to censor what they watch on Tv. Then if possible install a CCTV camera in the room and the help's room and If need be, change the help. He might even have picked this up from school. May God keep our children.
ReplyDeletePlease monitor your son very well and if possible send that girl away. This is the most scarily part of been a parent. God will cont. to uphold and guide us in this race of been a parent.
ReplyDeleteLet that house help go. You need to regulate what your kids watch on Tv/internet. The case can be managed.
ReplyDeleteAny early childhood specialist will tell you that this is a normal part of child development. I do not specialize in early childhood so I do not know what techniques if any are used to remove this behaviour. Please remember that biologically all the nerves are in the places of pleasure, your child happened to have discovered this and perhaps uses touching as a form of self soothing. Some children will rub their pubis on objects like chairs, balls, couches, and pillows.
ReplyDeletePlease speak with a pediatrician, and see what they say. There is nothing wrong or evil with your child, it happens quite regularly in childhood development and does not mean that they have seen or heard anything. If he says that it is scratching him, then perhaps try using a moisturizing bath soap and a gentler laundry
Thank you! I’m surprised that all the parents here, even the so called enlightened and exposed ones do not know that children go through this stage at this age and instead are pointing fingers at the poor help. O ga oh!
Delete18:36, can you please listen to yourself. We are talking about a child MOANING when touching himself and you are here talking sh*t. Many mothers are not worried about their children exploring their bodies, but MOANING when doing that is a very big concern and any sensible person much more a mother should be worried.
DeleteAs a guy, I'll tell you that we don't just touch ourselves without first maybe watching it, someone touching us or someone telling us about how it feels..
ReplyDeleteAsin it is not innate..
I never did such until I was over 18 years after some of my guys had that discussion about their lives in boarding school.
Children learn from what they see..
What I think?
The help is molesting him and like all molesters, she has threatened him that he'll die or something bad would happen to him if he tells anybody
You are ignorant. Children explore that part of the body at that age and it is totally normal. Sheesh
DeleteLol..
DeleteYou're very wise, exploring by wanking his deek and moaning right? You are very wise..
See all the guys here siad almost the same thing, but you that is a female know our body more that us..
Ode
POSTER it is not NORMAL. Your househelp has a hand, time to send her packing. what he's Watching on TV, the internet, friends could also influence him. The men have spoken because some of us experienced this first hand. Send her packing immediately and sit your child down. Time to reorientate your child if not he's going to be deep into the habit which later becomes a life lasting addiction. I struggled with this habit for 10yrs from age 14.
DeleteWhy? My parents never believed I could access the internet on a button phone. They controlled the TV, laptops but didn't think to care about the button phone. No one taught me. The internet DID.
You don’t know what you did at age 5.
ReplyDeleteThe only way to be close to sure is by asking your parents or older ones. I say close to sure cause they don’t always remember or tell full truths
Don't send any help away you are just been hyper sensitive he will soon overcome it and why do people always blame helpers is it because they are unfortunate to be born by parents who can't help them if she is your daughter or the daughters of those asking you to send her away will they give such advice after you have not caught her doing anything you your self swear that you have not put your hand inside your pant even as an adult ,I hate holier than thou attitude
ReplyDeleteI don't intend to send her away ,she has been good though as a teenager and as a human being she lies and have this slow poison attitude I don't mind cos she has been on her good behavior not really hundred percent but at least ,I'm not saying it's my help some kids can be adventurous more than an adult sef I just want to rule out the possibility of him learning from her , and if you watch my post I'm more concerned about him learning on his own I'm not involving her but just ruling out a possibility,
DeletePoster, don't be naive. Stop letting anyone make you feel you are doing wrong by sending the house help away, you can help her from afar. I'm talking from experience, stop trusting anyone including family members around your children. If you love your children send the girl away and help her from afar if you wish.
DeleteWow to be a parent is not easy.
ReplyDeleteWell I think it's normal he's just experimenting his new discovery.
It's also possible the help is teaching him stuffs.
Whatever it may be, be very vigilant
Council him with love.
I'm very sure even a 4yr old will not give off info if the manipulator and molestor asked them not to.
Pray too
Thanks Stella for posting, I'm the poster I ve heard your advice and that of the Bvs thanks all for your input.
ReplyDeleteThe reason I quit that long distance market cos its just him and the help when they re back from sch ,most times he will sleep I ll see him the next day other times midnight and he do miss me,he will tell me mum you didn't come back on time ,will you be back whenom back from sch it so touch my heart , I quit I said before he start confiding in her as a growing child , so you can imagine my surprise when I noticed this we really love him I pray he will stop cos I ve started sex education don't touch anybody's privates with names and don't allow anybody to touch yours.
I will take him to a doctor for prep talk too, and as for the help my eagle eyes dey on her , she is this slow posion type of human over quiet, may God help me and him too.
God bless you Stella and Bvs for your advice
Dear Poster, please just stop... Just stop and do some research. You will learn that it is NATURAL. If you pay close attention, even babies do it. Sometimes when they accidentally touch their privates and it feels good, they go in for it again. It's natural. Please don't make him feel like there is something wrong with him. You need to teach him how his body works and tell him that some acts are not for the world to see and not to be done at all. But if he feels the need to, he can do it quietly and privately. My youngest was the same and whenever I would bathe him he would wash his privates with soap and start laughing maniacally. He loved the feeling. As a baby, he would touch himself there from time to time as well. I simply taught him about his body and asked him not to play with it like that. He would giggle every time I caught him but eventually, he wanted to be a "big boy" and stopped doing it. But it wasn't out of shame but the understanding that touching oneself is not a very proper thing to do.
ReplyDeleteA 16 yr old twerking and asking your son to snap photos….shocking. Are these teenagers being hired as househelp because they can be paid extremely cheap or because they are more easy to control? You expect maturity and good reasoning from someone whose brain is not even fully developed yet. What if your child is choking, would this teenager have skills in first aid/cpr, could they save your child’s life in an emergency situation? Teenagers have no business caring for young children.
ReplyDeleteI sometimes put my hands on my pants when I am on my period to secure my maxipad, I am sure someone walking in on me may think otherwise. If she is using rags or poorly made maxi pads she may have to be checking and reshaping it. Don’t jump to assumptions about what you saw.
If you cannot stay home to care for your children and need help, then get a mature help. Install hidden cameras in the public spaces, living room, kitchen, hallways and your children’s bedroom. Do not install a hidden camera in the help’s room as it is illegal and you could be charged with child pornography if it is discovered. Do not assume the help is ignorant of the law or does not have a support system. You can always hire someone new if you feel unsure. Put your child in the best possible care so your mind can be at peace.
Your help puts her hands in her panties so your son follows suit. You have to keep counseling him and monitoring him. Whenever you notice his hands down in his bottoms remove it and counsel him. It might have started as a habit but can easily turn into an addiction.
ReplyDeleteWith a grateful heart I want to appreciate Stella and Bvs for this post, you guys has been nice with advice at least my mind has calmed down a bit ,their tv is only cartoon , and I don't want to hammer full on hell fire and Satan fear, just to be on a responsible spectrum of learning and parenting I appreciate you all and may God come through for all of us in times when we need help like this Amen
ReplyDeleteNot all cartoons are suitable for 5 years old na. If you don't sit down and watch with them, you better start doing that so as to weed out the inappropriate ones.
Deleteplease chronicle poster, pay attention to the comments from the male posters (dog almighty and Dante)... ignore the female posters saying it is natural.... at 5 years old IT IS NOT NATURAL. In all trust God and let Him lead you, but dont accept the lie of the enemy that at 5 years old this is natural part of development, it is not. Speak to the men that you know and they will tell you the same.
Delete❤️❤️
DeleteYou need to pet that your son to find out things he is not telling you, some people abuse children and threatening them with killing them or their family members. Just take him out on a shopping and make sure you spoil him with gifts.
ReplyDeleteSit him down, joke, play and ask him feel questions before you depot your girl. The girl may be innocent or knows alot. Please be careful.
Dear poster. After reading your story, my thoughts were exactly what Stella said: send the house help home. This is also because of what my good friend experienced, househelp teaching her son sexual stuff to the extent of watching p**n together.
ReplyDeleteThe comments here have been educational. I do not have male kids, interesting to learn that this could be natural.
I think that you have handled it well so far. Here is my advice. Teach both your sons that touching is not appropriate, let it be a part of sex education (appropriate for their ages) - it may help if your husband is there also while teaching them, teach them together. No watching of naked people people whether through a screen or physical. Their private parts are private. Do not touch anyone and don’t let anyone touch you. If your househelp gives them a bath, that should cease immediately. They should both not be naked in her presence and vice versa.
People here have mentioned to watch they see on TV. This also applies to the internet. A child watching YouTube is 3 clicks away from watching x-rate content. You have to be vigilant with children nowadays. There is indecency everywhere, especially when you are not looking for it.
On a different note, children that have access to TV and internet need to be closely monitored and have parental control activated on their gadgets. P**n is a current epidemic. But you will not know until children actually open up. They will definitely not tell their parents these things.
Wishing you the best poster. I really do hope it is nothing. But you need to be gentle and watchful.
Poster,no one is teaching ur son anything,my 2years old boy do touch his prick,I do tell him to remove his hand ,nd he will stop,no househelp staying with us,just me,his dad.at time when his price stand,he will come to me crying nd touching it,we pet him to stop crying nd remove his hand
ReplyDeleteDear poster , am going to be honest with you. An older person is molesting your child. Children don't just begin to wank at age 5. Someone older is influencing his behaviours and am telling you this from experience with a friend who opened up on his childhood trauma. If you keep asking your child he might never open up. Install hidden cameras, interrogate the help. You must get result !
ReplyDeleteSome people here are saying it’s normal my own five year old didn’t do it oo na the house help hand the matter dey smell from
DeleteKids can harmlessly touch their body parts with the moaning part points to someone molesting him or practicing what he's been watching. Guide that child like a hawk and start teaching him dangers of body abuse and other sex educations in form of tales to capture his attention and to distract him especially the period this usually occurs.
ReplyDeleteAs for the house girl, disengage her from any activities that involves bathing them, dressing them or staying unsupervised with them.I do also hope your girl does not have access to Internet enabled phones,? connect the cable tv to your room and regulate what everyone watches in that house and lastly pray seriously for your kids. Goodluck
It is normal for kids to touch themselves. They are curious and when they do, it feels good. Unless there has been abuse, they do not attach the same value we attach to it. All you need to say is that it is a private part so leave it alone, simple. Fire the young lady, please. Bra and pant in front of a little boy for what? Please your kids urgently need sex education
ReplyDeleteThere is a book, "Don't Touch me There" by the late Pastor Nomthi Odukoya. Very good, age appropriate book.for a child. You should have been reading this book to your children by age 2 or 3. It helps you to talk about private parts and abuse to children. Don't panic. Don't fret. The child will sense if you are unduly worried and may even start hiding it from you or become more curious. Get the book and talk openly to your child. He will be fine.
Fact is that your house help has thought your boy how to masturbate while bathing him or when you went out. Why am I sure? I have two toddlers(boys 5 and 4) and they both love their penis so much. But one love it more, the 4 years old. The 5 years old has eventually stopped. 4 years old can’t seem to Stop touching his D at the slightest opportunity, even at night the moment I switch off their light BUT he(they) didn’t know how to go up and down as in adult wanking cos they haven’t been thought or seen it before m neither would you hear them moan. Call your child and gently ask whether he was threatened. And assure him that he’s not the devil for touching himself. That it’s a normal feeling but he’s too young to use that part of him in that manner. I know that you’re afraid for your child but don’t worry he’s a toddler and would forget in time.
ReplyDelete