Hmmmm.....
Lets do something different today since the Chronicle folder is empty....
Lets shares tips on red flags to avoid in Rleationships and Marriages that will lead to Chronicles...
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This will be interesting. Let me gather some and come back.
ReplyDeleteI agree with most points stated. Let me say that if a person is too rigid and can only see things one way, run!
Delete1. Avoid stingy men at all costs
Delete2. Be very observant while dating. Don't be too fault finding but please never ignore red flags like disrespect towards women, lack of accountability, bad family background, etc
The thing about red flags is this, some of them don't immediately pop up. You can spend years married to someone only to discover a part of them you never knew existed.
ReplyDeletePeople can change and they often do. Sometimes, not for the better. However, it is not a must that a marriage must have a bad 'chronicle'. For every troubled marriage, there are many more blissful ones.
The question is, are you willing to pay the price to make and keep your marriage working? Because that's the truth. There is a price to be paid. Barring extreme cases of abuse and chronic infidelity, most marital issues can be salvaged. It just takes willingness on the part of BOTH parties for that to happen.
Marriage is a sacrificial WORK and WALK. It also tends to expose motives with time. Marriage reveals character. It reveals you for who you are. Do not embark on this journey with anyone you are not confident is equally invested in making your Union work.
We have different types of red flags. If you see a red flag, pick race, do not think you can change him or her o. Just run
ReplyDeleteAvoid men who:
ReplyDelete•nag and nag, like it's going out of fashion.
•who bring up long forgotten issues and keep hammering on them.
•who never accept they are wrong but would instead try to wriggle out of it or make you feel you are the guilty one.
•who have very hot temper and at any slightest provocation, can disown their families.
•who do not have a mind of their own but always want to follow "the crowd". Always.
•who seek validation at all times.
•who try to sound pitiful at all times for whatever reasons best known to them.
I don't and have never had and will never have these kind of men in my life. I draw my "points" from happenings especially those I have read.
Let no man come and bark under my comment. I typed mine in peace, please, if it doesn't sit will with you, type yours.
Thanks ma. Thanks sir.
Lol 🤣
Delete🤣😂🤣guns blazing
DeleteMake sure you marry good man oh..over sabi ITK
Delete18:31
DeleteAmen for her
Insults not needed, it shows who you are inside
Men who hate accountability
Men who see women as objects, rivals
Men who talk about big dreams but walk small (lazy)
Me. Or Women who believe all wat na way
Men who fear nobody and respect nobody
Men who are users/selfish
Wicked people
Envious people
Greedy people
People with no self control
Lazy men
This is for everyone in a relationship or a marriage, Please pay attention to how they treat lowly paid staff in their offices or around them. That's how you know a kind human being. Kindness is one of the most important ingredient in a human being.
ReplyDeleteKindness!!!
DeleteAvoid men who are not kind. Men who cant keep or take care of their immediate need. Bc my dear. At a point as a career person you need some help with the baby or kitchen n he will tell you is not part of his work. Yet house upkeep is 50/50. Such men will drain u.
ReplyDeleteAvoid 50/50 men
DeleteThey are mean, insensitive, selfish men
"My pastor said you are not the one for me", when they say that, just jejely exit the relationship. "My ex is this, my ex is that". Malice, lies.
ReplyDeleteLol..
ReplyDelete* A girl without common sense, the ones that'll call a man a nag for responding to their insult and amotekun behaviour
* A lady that brags all the time
* One that'll always look for trouble and then come back to cry and play victim when she gets the reaction/response she deserves
* One who hate to hear the truth because she's guilty. When you talk about ahewo girls, you'll see them bringing up various defences, some would say don't call them ahewo, call them hustlers😂
* Amotekun. Girls that fight and unprovokingly insult online
* Girls who are fake and 'form' what they're not
* Girls that are beggars (online/ offline), using various ways to beg: "my 4th viewer would by me pizza and ice cream" 😂
* Girls that feels men shouldn't respond when women insults them, the ones that'll rather blame the man for responding and turn a blind eye to the female that insulted
* Broke and entitled girls
* Girls that have dated married men or chop their money
* Non virgins..
Abeg,. Feel free to go and write your own red flags.. Na my own I write so🙏
😂😂😂😂
DeleteNon virgin a red flag? Boss mi, every woman won't remain virgin naaa before marriage. If they were or should, how you and I for take dey knack since? Abi you no dey knack?
Please avoid women that are not virgin.thats a red flag...doing anything serious with a girl that is not a virgin is a red flag.
DeleteAvoid girls that are not thirsty to want you.thats a red flag.avoid girls with too much pride to the extent they can't even greet or smile to their fellow ladies.red flag.
TJ, you suppose know now Dante say dey whyne in in some of those paragraphs 😁
DeleteAvoid misogynists, emotionally unintelligent , entitled, petty , bitter user and hypocritical like Dante
DeleteWomen are his rivals and he has zero leadership skills or capacity
Martins na man
Lol..
DeleteYou see this 23.44 comment, add her to the red flags 😂😂
Avoid ladies that are not virgins except they were raped or have done abortions for no good reasons like health issues, they can be very cold, bitter and extremely mean, try them at your own risk.
DeleteFor me, one major red flag and deal breaker is someone who keeps malice. It's a sign of emotional and psychological immaturity. As an adult you should be able to speak out and take through issues without keeping malice. I grew up with a mother and siblings that keep malice, the emotional and psychological damage affect myself esteem and ability to resolve issues amicably. I started learning how to be voice out my opinions without keeping malice and I've known peace.
ReplyDeleteMy threshold for anyone that keeps malice is zero. I see them as narcissistic people. Run!!!
That malice of a thing scares me badly. Plus, my heart skips when a partner yells at me. I have experienced this with just one person. Jeeez!
DeletePastor Isonu 😩
The truth is that, we sometimes assume people will change with time but evidences and happenings have often proved otherwise. No one is perfect and that's understandable but there are things you will see from a partner and you should be able to abort and terminate whatever the both of you are doing in a relationship.
ReplyDeleteWhen a man can't take decision(s) for himself, then it's a red flag. A woman who cannot spend on his man on gifts but always want the good life from his man is a BIG RED FLAG. RUN OOH. Yes I'm shouting.
A woman who still club and hang out with her girls who often look like olosho is a time bomb waiting.
If she keeps on demanding sex and not always satisfied but want marathon of sex. My brother you're in for a competitor.
You caught him gambling, my sister run oo. You may be sleeping one day and heard the house have been sold or the cars.
Finally, if she's giving you an ashawo vibe as in she will always want monetary gifts after knacking or before she visi, my brother know she's still active in oloshosm and you know what that means, she may likely break your head one day. So many were killed same way by trying to convert an olosho to an wife wife. What a dumb move!
There are many red flags out there and they will affect different ppl differently.
ReplyDeleteOvereligiousness, there is a time for everything under the sun. An over religious person may be a sign of a rigid mind.
Gossiping, you will also be gossiped about and anything you share in confidence will be thrown back in your face.
A mind that knows nothing about nothing. An empty mind may seem innocent, but if you are someone who likes lively conversations and to look deeper into the world then you need to Run.
Potential. Dating potential is fine if that person is doing something actively to reach their goal. But dating potential that only exist on paper is risky. The idea that you will help to fix up someone who has never even thought of fixing up themselves is foolishness.
Look at the family dynamics. Listen to how they speak to each other, talk about each other. Listen to how they talk about others. Is there true kindness and love or an undercurrent of tension, jealousies and anger. If you are entering battleground you will have to fight too.
That "overeligiousness' is such a turn off! I remember how some guy I was trying to like said he doesn't like movies with too much sex scenes, I said abeggg 🥱
DeleteHmmm, I thank God for saving that guy from you,, go and marry yahoo boys or criminals, they are always sex crazy too like you.
DeleteThere is shege in every relationship so my advice is that you look for the person that can tolerate your shege and Vice versa.If you’re looking for red flags,u might not see them because people pretend and change is constant.
ReplyDeleteSomeone who keeps records of wrong past deeds.
ReplyDeleteA person who is never content, always want more.
A male/female who has refused to grow, reporting to parents each time there's a misunderstanding.
A partner who enjoys keeping malice.
A partner who doesn't know how to pray yet do not want to spend time learning how to.
A procrastinating one.
A very jealous person (who never wants you to be more successful him/her.
A person who never listens during conversation (he/she may pretend and act as they care but the truth is, they never do.
A person who is not willing to share.
Pls run away from wicked people who always have plans for revenge.
Men without personality, poor hygiene, no self discipline, has no values, always hanging with friends, had no financial Discipline, talks anyhow
Delete60% of Nigerian men
In this life where people can pretend and keep secrets till death?just pray and hope that you meet someone who has the fear of God and someone you’re compatible with.
ReplyDeleteFear and respect God, even if the person doesn't worship God. Where the person fear, respect, and worship God, then most of the challenges marriage attracts can be handled more easily if and when they come.
DeleteA man that keeps malice, a man that wait for you to pay t-fare whenever both of you go out together, a man that always involves his family before taking a decision, a stingy man and a man that wears one boxer for three days. Those were my experience with my ex.
ReplyDeleteHe had scarcity, wickedness and poverty mindset
DeleteHe had scarcity, wickedness and poverty mindset
Delete1
ReplyDeletePeople who think they don't have any red flag.
2
People who are not ready to find out their red flag(s) and throw them away before relationship and or marriage
3
People who think only the other gender have red flags
4
People with locked minds on issues important to their prospective partners.
5
People who believe marriage always end bad or good without contribution or efforts by them.
Unintelligent people with zero accountability
DeleteBefore you get into a relationship make sure you have healed from your wounds including childhood wounds. Make sure you understand the model of love you grew up witnessing at home. Ask yourself are you emotionally available or not? Do you know what your boundaries are and are you ready to enforce them? Ask yourself what you want in a partner and focus on values and not external factors. Are you looking for a partner to complete you or complement you? A person cant hide who they are for more than 3 months if you are truly observing. Marry for you not your family or friends.
ReplyDelete👌🏽👌🏽👌🏽
DeleteThe best are people who truly fear GOD not actors and actresses
DeleteA man/woman who does not have a meaningful relationship with God. Anybody who does not fear God will not think twice when he or she is pushed by internal or external factors to compromise your marriage.
ReplyDeleteEverybody has a flaw but sheep should not marry goat or vice versa.
That is why the Bible spoke about us not being unequally yoked 👍
DeleteFor me
ReplyDeleteKeep away from Men
- That are aggressive and seem violent
- A man that is unkind, that doesnt show emphathy for his neighbor
- A drunk or alcoholic or any form of subtance abuse
- Fruadsters and yahoo boys
- A man that lacks leadership traits. A man that is easily influenced by the popular opinion, family, friends or co- workers, even when its glaring it's wrong
- A big talker, no actions. Those that build castles in the cloud.
- A man his family rejects you. A man from a family that isnt bonded. Doesnt understand family unity.
- A man from poverty mentality driven home. Women should grow their casava and turn it into garri or fufu, i women should be awake by 4 am, washing machine is for a lazy woman, womwn do not need househelp even when you have a full time job.
- Adulterous man
- Sex addicts.
Keep away from women
- Came from a bad home. Nobody has anything good to say about her family
- Retired runs girl. They can weather hard times
- An entiled woman. A woman should know you earn whatever is given. You earn your husbands love, kindness, respect, generosity etc because you are a dependable, kind, sweet, caring, peaceful, wife to your husband and family
- A hot tempered woman/ or a woman that cant forgive.
- An uninteligent woman. She always doesnt know the results of her actions can lead to death or DNA fraud. Izzit not just to leave my baby with the neighbor and rush and buy pepper. Thats how kids get missing. Your child has been stooling and mama Nkechi tells her to give your baby agbo instead of going to the health center, thats why we have high rate of under 5 deaths. Same bowl they use for pap is the same bowl they will use and wash meat.
Ms. C.
But men don't like smart women , she cannot be easily deceived or manipulated nah
DeleteMen like low self esteem, stupid, easily deceived women
Men who were raised on survival, cold and mean
They don't understand love
They are emotionally absent and can be mean
People who blame everyone else but themselves
Emotional vampires
Stupid arrogant men
Lazy parasitic men
My mother said men
Men stay away from a woman that have so many guy friends
ReplyDeleteDating a "Christian" brother who's love language is physical touch and he cannot help it... My Dear, be kiaful.
ReplyDelete