STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
COMPENSATION FROM ENGAGEMENTPlease what does the Nigerian law say about getting paid or Being compensated by an EX who got one engaged, promised the person marriage, wasted 6 official years of the person's life, cohabited for 2 years while preventing her from having any relationship with other potential suitors knowing he wouldn't marry the said lady, deceived the person into putting in enough money and time in the relationship and finally left to marry another.
Please I want to know if there are lawyers who can help sue in this regard and get this EX to pay.
I don't know but I feel something can be done about this legally.
Someone advised going spiritual but sincerely, I don't know anything about that route and wouldn't want to even indulge.
I can't say all I faced from his family during this period and the signs which he assured me that nothing will stop him from marrying me.
I have enough evidence ranging from monies sent to his accounts and other things. He currently stays in same apartment I paid for us to stay after marriage with his family and he moved on as if nothing happened.
No apologies. No compensation.
This guy deflowered me and gave me all assurances. He had no job while he made me part with my own monies as the working class.
I practically raised him to the point he is today and I really want to at least get compensated.
Lawyers in the house, please advise
WHAT THE FRIGGING FRACK....Please sue him, sue him andsue him again.....This is emotional and financial scam....Please sue, even if you dont win, drag him with all you can to a point of embarrassment..DRAG HIM DRAG HIM::
Sue who? Nigeria naa npe ibiyi. My dear move on, we've always advised women to date with their heads and brains not with their legs and heart. Just count your losses and move on jejely. You cohabited with someone who hasn't wife you for 2 years, if you want a man to value you, put a price on yourself
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
You are wrong
DeleteSue him
Tell all his associates about him
And yes go to babalawo if you can
Poster, I’m sorry to sound harsh, but this is good for you. I have told women to STOP dating project men. Whilst believing he will marry you after bringing him up. Same thing happened to my friend in America. She paid for the guy’s degree till graduation. This man finally got a great job, then dumped her to marry another babe in the same America. After she paid for his tuition, rent, car note and phone bills. I don’t even know how you women get wet for a man you are raising. 😳
DeleteYes you can sue him for breach of promise to marry.
DeleteHope you have evidence of all you did for him and pictures of the engagement?
Anon 16: 28 you’re very wicked. Someone is down and likely suffering from heartbreak you’re telling her it’s good for her. Madam know it all tueh!!
DeleteSue ke? Hope you have evidence of the sexcapade? When the bible said flee from sexual immorality you thought it was a joke. Repent , count your losses , move on and draw closer to God.
DeleteI'm not sure the courts will grant your prayer whatever they may be. There's no legal recognized document that stands as proof you guys were bound together. I'm not sure Nigerian courts will even entertain your case.
ReplyDeleteRelationships end in sub-optimal ways all the time. I know it may be painful moving on. But at this point, what other options do you have? Nurse your hurts and look forward for a better man assuming ofcourse there isn't a sound reason why your ex rejected you and married someone else. In that case, you'd need serious introspection.
They will it’s called fraud
DeleteThat’s why efcc can get money back to those in love scams
This is a love scam so you can get compensation
My ex did this. Made false promises. Took my money. Even made me buy him a car. I cant even list all he took. I finally left. Found someone better and got married. Its very painful but my dear pls just try and forget him and move on. Some men are users and pry on the vulnerable. Suing him keeps you tied to him and stops u from moving on. Trust me u dont want to pursue this. Count ur losses. Learn from ur mistakes and put boundaries. People who truly love u dont take from u like this. Karma will visit him eventually. Jst try and heal and move on. Learn to love urself and listen to ur instincts. If ur honest with urself u saw many signs he was not being sincere but at the time u were blinded by love/desperstion. Some men r cheap gigolos. If u sue him the lies he will tell will break u more. Just leave him with God. Move on my dear
DeleteYou can actually sue him. Ignore those telling you that nothing can be done. I knew of this recently. Get a good lawyer and sue him. As long as you have proof of engagement, promises and so on, you have a case. Read more on Google and sue his ass.
ReplyDeletePoster you can sue him and I can refer you to a good lawyer that will help your case. The lady won in this Nigeria not even America sef.
DeletePursue it legally not spiritual
You're even soft o. Something that you will carry boys or soldiers with moving van to the house and collect everything in that house, change locks, speak with landlord for a refund or sublet the place. This kind of man does not need mercy. They don't leave vengeance for God in this type of case because this man is wicked.
ReplyDeleteI think you should be able to sue him for unpaid loans if you have evidences and receipts.
ReplyDeleteSince you are the one that paid for the apartment, then your name should be on the agreement; you should be able to recover it from him.
When you got engaged, did you have witnesses?
ReplyDeleteCan you prove that he “drove” potential suitors away?
Since you have receipts for payments made to him, you can sue for compensation but for damages, it will be hard.
On your own part, you weren’t smart.
Did you ever get pregnant while in that relationship?
DogAlmighty, even if there are reasons to leave her. Then that should have been done respectfully and with compensation or settlement!!!
ReplyDeleteIf you go spiritual you don't know what he also is capable of doing as juju no dey finish for one side better lick your wound and move on🤣🤣🤣when they advice you to give your life to christ and shun fornication you will say we are not social ,virgin my foot
ReplyDeleteU are mean, God do u know she is hurt and broken, what is funny by the way, what if she ur sister or daughter..? Is anybody above mistakes including u judgina?... Wicked Christian
DeleteBut sometimes we need to hear the truth. I’ve been used before and I know if I had held myself it wouldn’t have hurt as much.
DeletePlease consult a lawyer and be educated on what steps to take. Some law firms offer pro bono services, explore that.
ReplyDeleteIf the Nigerian court could award a guy 150k for damages done by a lady who collected money for transportation without showing up, then justice must also be done for six years of broken promises.
It is when laws are put to test, that precedences are set for future judgment. Let noone discourage from from seeking a legal redress.
Go spiritual on everyone around him who benefited from your sweat. Let him be alive and watch them suffer the same way you have suffered. What arrant nonsense 😏🤨
ReplyDeleteLaw ko!
ReplyDeleteLawyer Ni!
Amadioha and Ogwugwu straight up!
😡😡😡😡
Leave him to God to judge him.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteSome men can sometimes be cruel. The guy I dated too wasted 6 years of my life and abandoned me, telling me that his family said he cannot marry Yoruba. But you knew I was yourba when you asked me out, dated me for 6 years, took my resources and promised me marriage.
I left him for God and my Prayer for myself is that God should compensate me for the wasted years and show me mercy for any of my wrongful acts.
Yes, you have a right of action. You can sue for 'Breach of Promise to Marry' you will be entitled to compensation.
I am a lawyer, but I am unavailable at this time, else I would have volunteered my services.
Keep all evidence, pictures, account details every single thing!!!!
You couldn't sue the guy who breached his promise to marry you. You are definitely unavailable to help the poster.
DeleteHahahaha poster you actually have a right of action breach of promise to marry
DeleteMy sister, No be small breakfast you chop o.
ReplyDeleteCaused by low self esteem.
But you have no contract of marriage recognised by the court to sue. So just move on and avoid further emotional embarrassment and torture.
Hope a lot of young ladies will learn from this chronicles.
Most ladies in Nigeria aren't aware that there is a law that entitles a lady to adequate compensation if a man promises to marry her and reneges.
ReplyDeleteSue him for "breach of promise to marry". The law is on your side. Just make sure you have ample evidence.
No be small frigging FRACK!!!
ReplyDeleteDear friend, I would advised you not to waste your time with this case. Stella wrote drag him , drag him then after that what? Would that give you the closure you want or put money into your pocket? if I were you I would move on and watch how things turn out. You would be glad that he left and God did it his own way which you would look back and smile. Don't worry yourself no more . Leave all of that behind and seek only God's help in your life.
ReplyDeleteYou were giving him free cookies and cash for 6 frigging years? Damn.
ReplyDeletePoster pls let him go.its painful, yes.his reward await him.he will surely reap what he has sowed.You will get a better man.
ReplyDeleteThis is too bad. Please in all you do don't go fetish on him. Disconnect your mind from thinking in that direction. Follow the legal process if there is any, and if the legal process isn't making any headway just leave vengeance to God. You may be surprised that when you move on from him God may bless you with a man that will love you better in no distant time. A man that you will have peace of mind in. You think God doesn't see? he sees and he knows all you are going through. He says , he knows our problem before we ask but we should open our mouth and make our requests in prayer and supplication. Cry to God about this. He is the righteous judge. He will judge that guy by himself. Don't keep calm. Tell it to God from your broken and contrite heart which he (God) says he will not dispise.
ReplyDeleteIf you go fetish God will remove his hands from your matter so you can tackle it in the way it pleases you. Lean not in your understanding my dear. Na bible talk am. Proverbs 3:5
God didn’t handle it for 6 years so let her try to help
DeleteDid she submit to God while in the relationship? How then did you espect God to intervene when she did not submit to him?
DeleteLet me add that there is nothing the law will do for you that will make up for the emotional trauma this guy must have caused you. It won't even get to him. Highest is he will pay you some money.
ReplyDeleteYes you have a legal remedy in law , it’s called breach of promise to marry . See a reputable lawyer and the court will definitely grant you certain reliefs .
ReplyDeleteIt’s sad but don’t let it go , take him on .
Collect your rent money & anything you have receipts for. It’s morally bankrupt to marry another person & live in that house, if true. If you can prove with receipts that the monies you spent were quid pro quo, you may be able to recover your money. As to the emotional angle, May God come through for you in Jesus name.
ReplyDeletePlease don’t listen to any advice to “go spiritual”. It has repercussions, as the devil has no free gifts, only God does. If he suffers from your hands, then you got “revenge” what about your descendants? Many of the people praying in mfm & many churches are praying for deliverance from the results of the “going spiritual” or stuff done by their parents or ancestors. “Vengeance is mine says the Lord, I will repay”….”fury to your oppressors” This was oppression. Unless he told you to leave long ago and you kept begging him, this was wicked.
Get as much of your money from him even if you have to tell his story to a blog provided it’s the TRUTH. My own relatives used me, took several millions from me since I was a precocious graduate teenager for thirty years, jazzed me not to own a single house in Naija, then turned and still do evil when I couldn’t give as much so that I can face my own life too but God is a rewarder. If parents, siblings etc can do innocent people dirty out of greed, do you think he won’t go to a stronger “spiritual” if you do and continue the evil circle common in Nigeria?
Jazz/juju/“going spiritual” is NOT traditional religion, it isn’t. It is why Nigeria is where it is. Politicians jazz the people into docility to steal them blind, families jazz to collect money from the most successful naive one, a whole country swimming with jazz as a “go to” for anything, very cheap, short term, immediate & even advertised online, but long term effects, how can 🇳🇬move forward when many, even church goers are calling on those forces of oppression for “help”. Nothing permanently good comes from it. “All good & perfect gifts come from God”. Your husband will come & you will wonder what you ever saw in him✌🏾
Why do women do that to themselves though? Why would you want to take care of a man?! Why would you even want to date a jobless man ? Don’t you have any life ambitions? Give man money m clothe him , fxck him and even pay for his living accommodation! Don’t you’ve family members who need this kind of help in their lives ?
ReplyDeleteStop building with men , they will leave in the desert without a drop of water because they can and they will,
Y’all gonna learn the hard way all the time , all the time ! Your fellow women are getting the full princess treatment without giving a penny and then there’s you Bob the builder who gets dumped as well. Eyaa
🤣🤣🤣 this post is so hilarious! Poster you have yourself to blame. How can you live with a man for 2 good years and date him for full 6 years???? During that time I can bet one of your friends told you to break up with him but you no listen! You kept thinking marriage is coming. Girl if I was the judge listening to your case, I would throw it out. As a woman you have to hold yourself in the highest self esteem! Even if the man pays you millions now, you still won’t have closure. Because deep in your heart, it’s marriage and companionship that you want. My advice is let it go, vengeance makes one very angry and bitter. You will find an amazing person to love you and those wasted 6 years won’t even mean anything then. 🤗
ReplyDeleteThe first response to this chronicle was "very Nigerian". I don't blame the commenter because that's what we have been accustomed to. Move on. Move on like nothing happened and then the next person will repeat the same thing. Someone will loose a relative to clear case of medical negligence and you would say move on. That Dr Ovaire that died now, if the family doesn't try to keep it in the front burner somehow, that's the end. Some people will even say that investigation is still going on but when report comes out, if you don't follow up, they will say shebi person don die and she no fit comeback. That's how we continue until everyone is consumed by Nigeria. Let me not digress too much.
ReplyDeleteIn the writ of law, I don't think you can sue for time wasted and all that western stuff. If e dey, people would have been using it. But you see those funds you transferred and anything that you can legally claim, you can get it back 100%, with interest sef. The thing is that you just have to be steadfast and focused on it. Not that you would give up along the line, let's say you meet a new guy and he sweeps you off your feet and makes you forget all the pain. That's the thing. If you can be sure you wouldn't be distracted if it takes 3yrs, then yes you can.
Secondly you need to look for a lawyer that's interested in this type of case. That lawyer in the US Camille Vasquez that defended Johnny Depp in his defamation case. If you look at her career, that's the type of cases she takes and she's good at it. She's defended Ben Affleck, Leonardo DiCaprio etc and she devours the case with one kind of precision that you think it's a personal vendetta. What I am trying to say is that there are lawyers good at certain areas. There are also some judges that especially female judges that if this kind of case lands on their desk and a good lawyer is prosecuting, Omo, that guy will cry and his wife will call you to beg. So yes you can.
Or try these court cases on TV like the one Ebuka anchors. Just be ready to ignore the jeers that people will throw at you. They will call you names and some will even politely try to discourage you from continuing. But if you are firm, that guy go pay and he will even pay with interest in this Nigeria. Just make it clear that you are over him, you are not interested or a bitter jilted ex. Focus on the money and make it clear that you are dealing with a fraud and a liar. Just know he will defend himself and come with what he did for you. If his case is strong too, the dynamics may swing.
Guys and girls go the extra mile when in love. We understand. A time of vulnerability. It's not supposed to be and sets you up for being used. Why can't people just keep their word to their supposed lovers. Once they get what they want, they just move on. If one or two people pay for it, everyone will sit up. That's how society is built. So go for it if you know you will see it to the end. But don't start if you know you are just bitter. Bitterness will go away. But if it's fraud, like it's what this looks like. Sue please.
The comment above that talked about the tuition and other big ticket expenses, did she have proof? If she did, I hope she realises and gets back her money.
What's the difference in EFCC collecting money from yahoo boys that scammed people in the name of love? It's the same thing. Report him to the feds and let his company just hear, Omo the guy will pay. Just that many times they exaggerate. You pay school fees in US? Its not by cash as we have here. So please she has evidence and should get back her money. Same applies for men and women before it looks like I am being sexist.
Redacted Identity
I think something can be done. I read something like this in a group. The head lawyer said something can be done about it.
ReplyDeleteWhen will Ladies ever learn? STOP spending your money on Men who have not put a ring on your finger!
ReplyDeleteLadies only?
DeleteGentlemen do it too.
That's why things are generally hard this side. No social security. But when you (male or female) help out of love, or as interest free loan, or interest based loan, you lose all and gain nothing.
So we see people suffering needlessly.
Don't move on, please sue this guy and let him pay for every damn money he has collected from you.
ReplyDeleteI can give guy petty money like biscuits and chewing gum money,but immediately I notice he wants to turn me to his ATM by always asking me for money, I will know that he's a f**l, no man with integrity will be happy collecting from woman without feeling shame.
That's how I dated one f**lish man named S*MUEL, the hediot didn't give me any money while I dated him but had no shame to be asking me for money, I just told him off and last last, I left the situationship because the guy had nothing upstairs, for good six months I dated him, we didn't discuss anything apart from sex, no any intelligent discussion apart from sex and gossip about other people, nobody knew us together, our relationship was scritly secret without my consent.
It was even after one year that I left him I got to discover that he had impregnated his junior colleague before he asked me out, the m*m* was actually asking me for money to rent another house.
You people always see the red flag but always blind by st*paid love.
Yes you can.
ReplyDeleteBreach of Promise to marry. You will be awarded damages.
Make sure you have evidence of the proposal or ring. Keep all evidences. It will fly.
Meet a lawyer and go to court.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Some people when you see them go mad I don't even feel pity for them cos alot are paying for their evil deed. If you can go spiritual on him to reach him a lesson please do but if you can forgive him please forgive him.
ReplyDeleteIf you can sue him for damages please go ahead. I dislike when people treat others terrible but will forget that one can get angry with them and play same game.
In a democracy anyone can file a lawsuit. I actually like to see unconventional legal stories. I know some ppl have filed such suits in other nations, some were successful and some were not. If the lady has the means to retain a lawyer and there is a lawyer willing to take the case then I do not see any reason not to file if there is a strong case.
ReplyDeleteNo matter what you do to him,it won't heal the pain neither will it be sufficient enough for what the has done for you
ReplyDeleteHave you read in the biblehere God says, "vengeance is mine?". What do you think you can do to a man that will equate what God would have done to him on your behalf?
I don't know how close you are to Gif, but I will advice you get close eto Him to seek solace, healing and comfort. Then table the matter to Him, referencing the above scripture and many in that regard.
Then, you have to trust Him to be sufficient, wise and knowing enough to deal with the matter in your best interest, without intervening/assisting, or instructing Him on what or how to do in any way.
But dropping it at the Lord's feet and walk away
It's the hardest thing to do, but my darling, in years to come, you will be grateful for it
Listen! God is d owner of time. And restorer of time. He is the best compensator and the rewarded of men.
Dedicate your life to Him,ask for forgiveness in your shirt coming,work mote eon yourself and live each day at a time.
The said man was never worthy of you or deserving. You dodged a lifetime bullet.
PS: Have you heard of married spouses who have done worst? Isn't it here a man went out to purposely impregnate a side chick claiming he has to father children (,they were TTC ing for 10 years) and dosen't love his wife anymore? And want her to still be wasting her time while he keeps breeding with another. Hmmmm.
How about the woman who after 19 years of marriage (same story as yours. He was broke when they started. Both sleeping on the floor with mat. She got blessed had opportunity to travel abroad and took him too,) they were supposedly living in peace and love in her mind. One day he told her he was going to travel home. They didn't have any querrel or issues. As a matter of fact, they had celebrate d their wedding anniversary days back. No querrel or anything. He said he wants to visit homeland only for her to see his wedding pics with another on social media. (I watched it myself and I wept on her behalf. I felt her pain and agony..).
There are worst cases than yours. Count your blessings in this and move on.
Carrying him in your heart and plotting vengeance is wasting more years. Don't tie yourself down further.
*Done to you
Delete*Bible where
*God
*Short
*Work more
Well, you have been rightly told you can sue him for breach of promise to marry.
ReplyDeleteLook for a Lawyer. Even if you don't have the fee, some Lawyers work on contingency fee basis.
But don't put your emotions in the case to avoid further trauma. Give the Lawyer all evidence you have. Let the Lawyer do the job. Your part is to attend court and give oral evidence. It is also possible the matter may not get to court. We read here of the Bvs who paid off claimed relationship "debt" when the one demanded it from the other. So, the man may even pay something depending on how your Lawyer handles the matter and the self-worth of the man after being called to his actions.
A law case is decided on law and on facts supported by legally permissible credible evidence. If you have evidence as described, your case is 50% done. This is why it is good practice to keep verifiable receipts.
Your small challenge is how to manage the fact of having the case and its details with your next man. The typical man, on this side, may be uncomfortable with a woman suing her Ex on the subject of marriage. promise. Please note the qualifying word "typical" because some men may not mind.
Good luck.
#theLegalTrainee
Sweetheart, breach of promise to marry is not as easy to prove in a court of law as in the court of public opinion. You must have evidence that there was actually a contractual promise to marry. It can be in form of a written agreement, a mini or quasi introduction with family and friends as witnesses a la formal or informal engagement. It can even be an oral promise but you must have evidence of said oral promise. Secondly, you must prove that he breached that promise, either explicitly or by conduct.
ReplyDeleteYou can sue for damages for pain and suffering in form of liquidated money demands. You can also sue to recover money spent in preparation for the marriage. You can't ask for money you voluntarily lavished on him or his family, though. That's all on you. In a recent case, the Supreme Court , per Ariwoola JSC, the present chief judge of Nigeria, held that the marriage that was to take place must be a marriage under the Act. So traditional marriage wouldn't suffice.
As for the years wasted, you were a willing participant because waiting 6 years for a man to wed you, reflects poorly on your character more than it does his. I'm sorry my darling but I can't sugarcoat the facts.
Proving specific damages will be a tall order. You have to show receipts and other documentary evidence. You have to show what you have suffered as a result of the broken engagement. If you had already paid for certain items in preparation for the wedding and you have the documentary evidence, that will come in handy. That other suitors left is a moot point that can't be successfully argued because there's no evidence that any of them really meant to marry you, unless you can call one or more of them to testify to that fact. How plausible is that? Ever heard of that peskily mischievous emotion call schadenfreude? I bet that's what a lot of them will be feeling when they hear you were spectacularly dumped unceremoniously by the same man you chose over them.
In theory, it may seem like a walk in the park but the practical is a whole different animal. You don't even want to face the trauma of cross-examination on such a sensitive matter. You will feel victimized. Darling, my sincere advice is, count this as a loss, a painful lesson from the university of hard knocks and try to pick up the pieces and move on. I can't imagine the pains and humiliation you must be feeling but let it go, don't be motivated by anger. If you can be honest with yourself and do an internal debrief, you will realise the role you played that led to this mess. The red flags you ignored et al. Dating for 6 years and cohabiting for 2 years? Come on now! Do better next time. Never make the same mistake twice.
e-hugs and kisses.
Ronaldo well done. Where have you been? There was a burning matter I wanted to read your legal opinion on but one BV was asking me why I needed your attention on the matter.
DeleteThe most complex B
Contact Justice court headed by Judge Funmi or Judging matters
ReplyDeleteThis was my story some years ago, l supported him in so many ways. I bought some of the gadgets that was in his house..the apartment both of us contributed money for, another lady wsa brought in, thou we are not leaving together. then l spent my hard earned money on him, 'both his family also enjoyy my money. He did introduction and was planning to collect the marriage list .his family now said that my place is too far, both of us are from the north. Each time l visit his elder sister l will cook and wash her children's cloths l will run errands like house made, becos l took them like my family. l not fit type again..... it's well. I cried like a baby to the extent one of his friends was asking me why am I crying as if l lost someone. I didn't utter a word. After sometime he called to apologise. I had to forgive him because he wanted me but his family was no longer interested in him marrying me
ReplyDelete