Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative - RIGHT OF REPLY

Hmmm...

Good afternoon Stella,
I hope this meets you well. I apologise for whatever reaction this right of reply may incite, kindly allow me air my disagreement.

My attention was drawn to this publication HERE as posted on your blog last Wednesday. I could be wrong and might as well be right, I believe that the post has something to do with my person. Because the narrated episodes were too much of a coincidence with a casual associate. 

This might be long, please do bear with me and forgive my typo's.
I believe the writer wasn't sincere in her judgement. Let me start with the invite because that was the last of the episodes. I was ill, and was in the hospital for 4 days and discharged to recuperate at home. I work remotely, and hadn't checked in for 2 weeks due to being sick. 

She reached out to me in the morning of the 6th, which was on a Wednesday, the last week of my 2nd week of recuperation. To invite me "as a friend" according to her, to an "exclusive party" billed for the 16th. And I told her I would turn up except if work happens otherwise I should be available. She went ahead to explain that it's quite exclusive and arrangements are made prior, that I shouldn't let work hold me back and if it will I should let her know early. 

To which I told her that I will let her know by Monday when I report to work, other than that I am available. By afternoon of same 6th she sent the invite, which I acknowledged. On Monday I reminded her that I will let her know about "the 16th" later that night, when I get back after evaluating the work schedule I would be handed. I didn’t get the direction of work until Tuesday morning, as I was told that I would travel outside Lagos for work on Thursday, I argued that it be shifted till the next Monday that I'm not sure I am strong enough to travel. 

But was told it had been pending for a week prior and that since I am back we need to look into it ASAP. Immediately I notified her and apologised. Travelled as schedule, we interacted and I returned Monday afternoon to the glory of God.

On the issue of never seen an image of me and never met, I believe it was our personal choice, we could have requested a video call at the others acceptance if we were in anyway serious about that. But we were both playing safe. Although I have continuously told her that I do use my pictures as my dp a few times, other times it could be anything but most times it is blank.

 That it is either she hadn’t been observing it or she didn’t think it could be me. And it's not my fault, you can't dictate to an individual how they use should their platform. I even used my picture 2 days later after the last discussion on the issue. At no time did we suggest the issue of picture exchange, I needed to respect the boundaries that existed between us and not jump. 

It was apparent we were being careful. I still can't recall if she sent me her picture and I didn’t return the favour, which will be very much unlike me. Knowing her she would have brought that up. Nor did I intiate that. I don't have a personal social media handle, only work and business handles. It's my choice. And I believe there are many people like that.

I don't understand how I have become a scammer, over issues and pain I don't even know I caused or was causing. We don't even have a friendship not to talk of a relationship, yes we talked about what we want out of being friends but the same friendship we did not even develop. I am not married neither do I have any ongoing relationship I could be accused of, I have been out of that game far too long to start jumping right straight into one without having a good understanding of the character and attitude of the individual I want that with - short term relationship is not the road I want to pass into marriage.

 I think I made that clear in our crispy conversations, on how I will like to take my time. We don't even relate well most of the times, our messages are mechanized greetings. From the exchange we could see that we forced ourselves to stay in the conversation. Yes she is beautiful, and a working class. But that is not a criteria for anything meaningful, even for an association. 

We are both single parents, so it has nothing to do with her being a single mom. That is manipulative sympathy. Our communication skills have been poor, which made it difficult for us to have that connection needed to establish and consolidate friendship. We ought to have noticed and address this, but we were both comfortable playing it safe. For something to happen we must flow jointly and be in it, in this case we are terribly outside it. Most of the posts I share or make, she criticises while sounding bossy and combative in a way, that's a turn off already. I never realise there was a likeness from her towards me to the extent of me ticking most of her boxes, that was a strange read in her post. We have never had this conversations. I couldn't have become a mind reader overnight, to the extent of knowing the mind of someone I know almost next to nothing about. How am I suppose to know all these, when we are communicatively distance apart?

I don't even realise our in-frequent online interactions has this much root of anger and pain in her. Honestly we haven't particularly gone deep in conversations other than the basics, very formal majority of the times. So how did I disgrace her to the extent of being disappointed in herself. How was I acting like a prize, when I don't even have an idea that there was a prize nor what the said prize is? If at all anyone was acting the prized, it was her. How do we know how we felt, if our conversations have never crossed the line of emotional interactions, interpretations or innuendos. 

Why condemn yourself that much, on issues and things the other person is totally unaware of but which we could have talked over like adults should? Did I turn her down? Hell no, I honestly don't even know what we have. Honestly if she was a quarter as open to me as expressed in her mail, I would have understood the direction we are going. 

It was in this her mail I was able to read how she felt, and how much she rated me and all emotions she housed on herself about me. How does one deal-in on what they have absolute no knowledge about? We did talk about what we wanted in the beginning, and she made it clear she was comfortable being friends until she finds reasons to be a relationship. And at the same time, at the same will only be in q relationship with someone she's comfortable with. Ever since we never weaved any of our discussions in that circle again until July, when we again touched it. But ended up arguing over nothing concrete but our individualism. We failed to establish that we both want a relationship, because she has a disposition towards me which she can't seem to navigate past. But how do people jump into relationships when they don't have the foundation of good friendship? It might work for some but not me.

To say she regretted reaching out and that her pride was hurt, is manipulative for a crime and hurt I did know nor realise I had caused nor committed. Please life is not this difficult, we come from different backgrounds and the ways we treat, handle or process or even manage issues can't be the same. I have always pointed this out to her, whenever she starts her usual comparisons of her physical friendships to our online friendship which we both have failed to developed. Because I am wary of online association, and she is scared of individuals she doesn't know physically. 

So why are we in it and what are we doing? People who have a clear idea of what they are onto must establish a modicum of likeness in their interaction, to germinate and bridge existing differences. This also was non-existent. How do I jump into a motion I don't understand it coordinates at my age? That's a disaster in the making.

Sister,the society is literally already rigged in a mans favour, so I needed to respect your boundaries, until it becomes comfortable like you have admitted to at various times. So as not to cause you to start thinking I am entitled to whatever it is you feared losing. I wasn't raised that way, I wouldn't want any individual to disrespect my sister's boundaries too. I have always being guided by that truth, I don't have any exploitation in mind towards you. All I have ever done was wish you well. 

We both have similar understanding but can't seem to break the ice between us to be friends, we are both being careful too. All I can say is that I am sorry. Forgive me for all you wrote that I did to you or caused you, all you accused me of are things I didn’t realise I did. I am not in any way aware of them. 

Since I was directed to this post, I haven't reached out to check up on you as I often do neither have. I rated you higher than this low and you know it but never rated me in any of our exchanges nor have you ever gave an inkling to it. You just want things done and established in your way, and I want same things defined in my way. Yet you could have communicated this to me in a million other ways than bringing it here, to sound like I stole something precious from you dubiously albeit not even little.

 Inasmuch as I want a relationship that will lead to marriage, I can't jump into waters I have no clue of it composition. Good character conduct and attitude are core to my choice for associating with others, and I acknowledge to have failed you for everything you wrote as posted and you have failed me also for holding all these inside you without relating. How do you sleep with such heaviness in your heart, on someone who was naive to all these hurts they are causing you?

I am sorry for the pains our association has cause you, may God heal your brokenness in Jesus name. As you find it in your heart to forgive me.

EWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

So she did this chronicle and sent you the link anonymously? hahahahahaahhahaha

Please life goes on oh, it is not by force to do this...