Hmmmm
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SERIOUS SITUATION
I have not had s#x with my husband for a little over a year now. We are so incompatible that we just try to tolerate ourselves peacefully, we are more like siblings than spouses. Please is this normal in some homes?
I have not had s#x with my husband for a little over a year now. We are so incompatible that we just try to tolerate ourselves peacefully, we are more like siblings than spouses. Please is this normal in some homes?
Hmmm, nah wah oh...How did you get to this stage? Have you talked about the problems? some couples still gbensh even if they have problems oh....
So how do you guys survive? I mean without sex😳 it’s not normal please
ReplyDeleteFan Emmanuel
I think a lot more couples are in these roommate marriages than we know.
DeleteI believe our current diet and all the technology distractions contribute to couples losing that connection with each other. Laying good pipe on an Indomie diet is just not possible, neither is getting moist. The pandemic and global money woes did not help the situation either. I think sexless marriages will continue to rise. And with the many growing diseases ppl will likely eventually turn to AI or robots as an outlet, even those who have a spouse.
Hahaha what an analogy
DeleteIt's not normal, both of you should seek help. Please try and get marriage counselor involved
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
It's not normal o... You guys should sort it out quickly. One thing that scatters marriage faster than anything is sex. Please work it out together. Sex way too important in marriage.
ReplyDeletePoster you guys need to engage a professional counselor or therapist. I understand that you don't want to divulge some sensitive information. Not having sex is just the symptom, you need to find the root cause and make sure you resolve it immediately.
DeleteLack of Sex is not something you leave to chance or allow fester for long.. It is so important and can be a wrong tool if not handled well.
All the best
Serious counselling.
DeleteHow do you gbensh in the midst of problems?
ReplyDeleteCan never be me! Gbensh fire. We must sort everything out first.
DeleteSluttychic 😪
As you don't want to write Sluttychic under na🥱
In a dark room with closed eyes...
DeleteYour husband is getting it outside as you may be boring and not adventurous enough.
ReplyDeleteWhy is it only the man that is getting it outside,the woman might be getting it double outside sef.Na man Una like to Dey accuse for everything
DeleteTrue talk. He’s getting it outside. It’s what it is
DeleteZendaya
Mercifully, the Poster did not say she is not getting outside. So, it can be speculated too that she is getting it outside.
DeleteVery funny how most of the female Bvs appear to know so much about men. Yet...
Madam. Stella I still dey laugh🤣😂😂😂 😃 .cos na us go still ask how them dey take gbensh when them dey quarrell gbas gbos.
ReplyDeletePoster e no dey normal o.
You both are just tolerating eachothe cos of the children(I guess).
Marriage no easy. But I will advice you both separate now that you are still young else later you start regretting an blaming your kids for being the reason you stayed in a loveless marriage when you should have gone ahead and enjoyed your youth with someone that cares.
I have seen a woman who is in her Kate sixties complaining at every given opportunity about how she remained in a loveless marriage because of her kids, she nags about it any time any of her adult children does anything she doesn't like.
Hmm
Better choose to either repair the marriage and repair it for real or leave the marriage ASAP.
Lol @ your first paragraph.
DeleteTruly, if a poster says that she and her husband had sex while they were quarrelling, na still us go tell dem say dem never serious yet 😂
It's not normal.
ReplyDeleteIt's been 11 years without it too in my home, he has heart Issues, we more like friends now. The body tends to adapt, it's not like we'd fall sick and die due to no sex, hehehe. We been married for over 26yrs anyway, and more to go. We don't cope, we adapt.
ReplyDeleteBut are there not other forms of intimacy that you could both indulge in even with his heart problems? It doesn’t have to be penetration or strenuous to still enjoy something. I understand adapting, but just giving up on the one thing that separates a marriage relationship from all others. Even ppl in wheelchair still have a sex life, it may take a little bit more work and adjusting but it is possible. I remember asking my professor about sex toys for ppl in wheelchair and she told me they existed. She has been in a wheelchair all her life and is married and we had to do a section on sexuality in the disabled community.
DeleteIt’s not normal oh. What????
ReplyDeleteIt's not normal,both of you,should try and resolve your differences.
ReplyDeleteMy oga and me are compatible, we are the most vulgar couple, but overtime we lost the sex spark. He's getting it outside steadily but since I'm not fighting him over it, he is overcompensating at the home front with cash and trips. I don't like him sexually anymore and I think he feels the same, but we cannot divorce coz of sex naa, he said it's too inconsequential and I agree. He's 55 and I'm 40 with 3 kids. Pls, let's dey our dey. He doesn't ask me how I get by without sex, but I'm sure he's dying to know😆😆 he's my ride or die ojare. I've told him, he shouldn't carry older women, he should stick with 20s. One tried to bully her way into my home, me and him combine pursue her. No time, we ill like that.
ReplyDeleteBut madam at Anon15:49 how do you handle your sexual urge? Your last line make me laugh sha😂😂 @pursue.
Delete"He doesn't ask me how I get by without sex, but I'm sure he's dying to know"
DeleteEven we, we don't mind to know. The poster too would like to know how to employ your tactics.
You said he is getting it outside, what about you?
Your story is not complete👀
Interesting. And here I am thinking even in my 80s I want to still be a sexual person. Everyone find their own groove and existence that makes them happy.
DeleteAnon 15:48👀😱🫢😲
DeleteEvery couple set their own normal. If you do better as roommates and that satisfies both your needs for companionship and both of you are contented with this arrangement then who am I to say it’s wrong. However, if one of you desire to have a sexual relationship or you are both unhappy with the way things are then it has to be addressed. If you are unable to resolve this situation on your own then get professional help through a marriage counsellor.
ReplyDeletePlease be careful of the stories you tell yourself. Did you consciously get married to him as a brotherly figure or did you see him as a lover and envisioned yourself having a passionate, sexual marriage? Did you send in the chronicle because deep inside of you the present state of things does not fulfill you? Please be honest with yourself and do not lie to yourself in anything.
Have some real mature and raw conversations with your husband. Let him tell you exactly how he feels about you and the marriage and even if it hurts you to the core listen to everything he has to say without interrupting or arguing, you do the same. Hold no grudges or resentments after those conversations, you will then know what direction if any you need to take after you have both listened to each other.
Its normal in my home o. My husband is not a sex crazy person. He has always been like that. Now he is almost 60 now and doesn't wanto to hear anything about sex. We have been married for 20 years.
ReplyDeleteSo how do you satisfy your sexual urges? Don't tell us you don't have - not very true. All of you, women, would be giving us incomplete gists. We know how it rolls. Most couples don't get sexually attracted to each other, 15 - 20yrs into the marriage - na "see finish" phase of marriage. Individually, each spouse satisfies himself/herself codedly and there is relative peace.
DeleteWell, as long as you are the same way as him then you found your perfect fit. It is only when the partners have different levels of sexual needs that it becomes a problem. Asexuality is normal.
DeleteCommunication is key.poster,pray.the Devil knows marriage so interesting and was given to man by God not only for procreation but also to have a companion/friend whom you could share everything with.sit your partner down and have that discussion.its well.
ReplyDeleteIt is normal not to want s#x with a person found incompatible.
ReplyDeletePlenty of the chronicles here by or about cheating spouses arise from this issue of incompatibility. It is just that when some Bvs narrate the stories, they slant the stories to give the impression that the other person is naturally bent and that they did not contribute any part to the straying.
Poster, you have confirmed the lack of s#x is the result of something amiss. You both should solve that, and the s#x issue would be solved. Except one of you married the other for a purpose now found unachievable in the marriage. In that case, the story is longer o!
Do not necessarily believe your husband is having it outside and therefore go reckless too if you are not doing it outside already.
Contrary to popular views as expressed here, there are men who do not do outside at all for several reasons - financial, psychological, physiological, religious, spiritual, etc. When they do not have it home, they stay without s#x.
Best wishes.
Hmmmmmm.
ReplyDeleteNot normal but adaptation makes it inconsequential..
Are you both happy without sex?
Some of us are not crazy about sex 🤷
ReplyDeleteIf the both couple don't feel the urge for sex why allow yourselves get worried about it. I think so long as the lack of sexual urge is not coming from just one person there shouldn't be any need to fear because non is going to get the sex outside since the urge is not there, except they are trying to conceive. The only thing that needs to be done is to ensure that there is peace and love between them.
ReplyDeleteThere are three types of love. 1. Phileo (the love between siblings, real friends, brotherly love) 2. Eros (which is romantic live between couples) 3. Agape ( unconditional love, the type God has for us and godly unselfish parents should have for their children). Marriage is a combination of all 3 and once one is missing, unless there is a reason, there will be issues. If he used to do it 3 times weekly before, after about twenty five years of marriage, you may both find 3 times a month ok, by thirty years, twice a month may be ok for you sometimes once a month. It depends on each couple. Stress and certain medications can reduce libido. All these alcoholic bitters being sold in Nigeria can lower libido in the long run after initially appearing to increase desire. Is he on any meds? Check if loss of libido is a side effect. Some meds increase it while some decrease it.
ReplyDeleteI just think a monogamous marriage in today’s world going a year without intimacy needs looked into unless you both agree or one is unhealthy as it could be an indication of drifting apart which causes divorce in couples that have been married for decades. They can easily drift apart and leave outsiders wondering. Someone or both is getting it elsewhere if you are going one year off intimacy! I may be wrong please as some couples may be asexual or find each other unattractive after a long time or have money worries or work stress but a whole year just seems off to me? If mine doesn’t want in a few weeks I will give him side eyes o because I’ve known him for thirty three years and understand how his body and mind works! After more than three decades! Men and women can do till eighties if they want so why stop in your fifties if married?
Poster It is not the ideal for a married couple who are both able bodied and healthy to live as co-tenants.
How is your dressing, communication, the very things he liked when you met etc? Still on point? How about his? Men are more physical while women are more emotional. Play games like scrabble and chess and watch movies together? Do things that involve just two of you! Talk to him about it especially on a weekend when neither of you is going to work. Introduce some spark. Shower together, watch romantic movies (never porn please) together and avoid topics that lead to differing opinions like politics during those periods. Above all always pray. The enemy is on a mission against healthy marriages these days! I had a patient who married at 72 years old! I’m pretty sure he gets intimate with his wife! If he has erectile dysfunction visit the family physician together as he may not want to talk about it. Get the prescription and go fill it for him. Avoid sleeping in separate rooms like many do while I was growing up, it’s not good for a couple to use separate rooms in my opinion. Avoid living in unforgiveness and rekindle your love for each other by doing things you did when you first met, even calling some friends who you knew from way back as a young couple. May God grant your hearts desires and those of singles who desire good spouses in Jesus Name✌🏾
Madam this is not normal Abeg, and the fact that you are wondering if it is normal shows that even you are not happy and comfortable with the situation.
ReplyDelete