Hmmmm....
ATM RELATIONSHIP
How do I tell a my guy nicely that I am not an ATM machine.? His constant and stylish asking for money from me is killing what I feel for him, I am gradually getting fed up and avoiding him.
He didn’t still go to the hospital but told me prayers was working for him. Since then I thought he would use the 10k to fuel his car and relocate it to his new compound.
Only for me to ask him about it and he said the car is still at his former compound. Asking me to give him 2k, I gave him the 2k. I want the best way to tell him to go look for better work and stop asking me for money.
I also want to find out what he has done with that 10k I gave him on Monday.
I am about pulling out from this relationship but I don’t want us to fight, I dont want him to think that it is because of his constant asking me for money. Should In case things pick up for him tomorrow ,so that he will not be mad at me.
I am about pulling out from this relationship but I don’t want us to fight, I dont want him to think that it is because of his constant asking me for money. Should In case things pick up for him tomorrow ,so that he will not be mad at me.
Just trying to be on a safer side before someone use me to enrich himself and girls around him.
One cannot trust humans any more especially broke ass guys.
Hmmmm wow!
How did you end up dating someone without a Job and think he wont turn you into an ATM? Ask him what efforts he has put into looking for a Job and ask for his CV so that you can pass it on so that you check that CV very well to see if he is qualified for anything...If he remains non challant about getting a Job then please just ghost him straight...If he becomes rich in fiture that would be his luck, pray that you never have to go abegging..
You read the Chronicle of the BV whose boyfriend used as ATM until he printed his wedding invitation and even moved into the flat she rented with the woman he married...
I just know say the guy no get any future plans for you, you're just his ATM, guys don't truly love who's spending on them
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Any man who is comfortable taking money from a woman doesn't love her. Men are wired to be providers and so they find it extremely difficult accepting financial help from a woman they really care about but if they don't see you in their future, they use you by fleecing you dry...
DeleteIf he can stylishly and boldly ask you for money, you have every right to inquire about anything. It’s time you end that ATMship because the only feeling he has for you is all about your money. The moment you stop giving or having extra to give, he will dump you so fast.
DeleteNot true that guys don't truly love who's spending on them or that Men are wired to be providers and so they find it extremely difficult accepting financial help from a woman they really care.
DeleteWho was present when God was wiring men and women?
Most of the wires we tie men and women with today were made by us and our different societies.
Men have been known to reciprocate good deeds done for them by their girlfriends who later became wives, or by their wives. In some cases, it is not uncommon for men who later made it to benefit girlfriends who went away on good terms, or their children or families.
As a younger man, women football was a novelty at school inter house sports. The women who played, did as almost clownish entertainment. They kicked the ball with their heels anyhow and anywhere. Today, we have a female world cup and women playing with gusto and as maestros. What changed? The women pulled out the society's wire that women cannot play football.
By the way, why is it always easy to trace and accept the money provider wire in men but never acceptable when men trace, plug in, and use their "polygamous wire"?
Any woman who is uncomfortable about giving a man money as charity only should stop. Nobody should give anybody money because of tomorrow. Who knows or owns tomorrow?
There are people (male and female) who are users. Any gift or help to them is taken as a right by association, family and or friendship. Whatever is done for them is done.
Poster,
Stop giving the man money if you cannot part with your money for free. Do not continue to give him money as an investment in your tomorrow. What makes you think your betterment tomorrow is tied to his getting up then? Continue your relationship with him if you find him worthy. if you do not find him worthy of being your friend or husband, as a total package, please leave him. If that makes him to stand up financially to become rich or financially independent in life, good. That may be your best gift to him. Life will count it for you and reward you accordingly if he refuses to reciprocate if and when that happens.
Very sensible comment !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Delete“Should Incase things pick up for him tomorrow, so he won’t be angry” lmao.
ReplyDeleteSluttychic.
I follow you laugh
DeleteShe’s still living in limbo. Eye go soon clear am when she sees her money is being spent on another girl 🤣.
DeleteIt is laughable really.........
DeleteToday's episode on how to you meet these men!! Another one bites the dust....There are guys that prefer to be leeches...Please help him from afar like suggested by Stella...Use your head and stop enabling lazy attitude...Don't like what you hate..
ReplyDeleteAll the best
You gave a man 10k and 2k now he has turned you to atm machine ? Broke girls ! But if it was the other way round you no turn am to atm machine ? Funny women
Delete*how do you **
DeleteLol @15:14
DeleteBut the amounts mentioned are actually good amount per salary of some people.
Life na one by each.
Please, arrange this chronicle well for my kindergarten mind to understand.
ReplyDelete1. This dude just moved to another apartment. Who paid for the apartment? Broke@$$ person dey pay rent? Where he see money abi na you epp am?
2. This same broke dude has a car that be cannot fuel with 2k nor can he afford 10k to treat himself? Na you dey send am urgent 2k and 10k.
3. Now to the most important matter, what was he doing when you first met him? Did he lose his job at some point? How long have you dated? Has he always asked you for money like this abi he just recently fell on hard times? When he had, if he ever did, was he nice to you?
4. Does he have a skill? What's his academic qualification? What efforts is he making to make a living?
Na only y@hoo boys dey get car wey dem no fit fuel but refuse to sell it or use it for uber whilst begging for urgent 2k. A responsible man would use that car to sustain himself for a while till he gets back on his feet. E be like this one dey wait for the next maga to drop and you sef dey wait to be "settled". I'm sorry if it's not so but that's the vibe that this chronicle is giving.
Spot on!
DeletePoster you are dating a jobless person what do you expect.
ReplyDeleteAbeg dump him and move on. Cos you see this whole scam behavior will continue till he dumps you and moves to the next atm.
All these men that are comfortable in collecting money from women,how do they do it?
ReplyDeleteProbably watched dad collect from mom
DeleteAlso men that collect usually don’t marry the one they collected from. I feel like if a stand up guy is begging me for money, he won’t marry me
He’ll go marry someone that hasn’t seen him in bad times
Don't start what you can not finish.Even in marriage it will continue.Love with your head not your heart.
ReplyDeleteBut ladies do this and it's fine, and can't take a shot?
ReplyDeleteWell it's not about dating someone who is jobless, it is being a relationship with someone that has a concrete purpose. This guy here has no vision nor has he found any purpose. What was the attraction? Oh I forgot: he is single, calls you well into the night, drives a car, lives alone, has his and your pictures all over his social media handles, tall and dark, and God fearing.
Mtchewwwwwwwwww! 🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️🚶🏽♂️
Sister o. Since it appears that you are doing give away, let me send my account details abi? Before you will receive sense and close your wallet.
ReplyDeleteFinancial accountability is a MUST PASS requirement any man worth dating must posses. You gave a man 10k, he couldn't give you an explanation of what the money was used for and he's going ahead to ask for 2k. If a man feels he owes you no explanation for money he's received from you, then let him be man enough and make that money on his own so that you won't need to ask questions!
Don't date anyone that can't be accountable to you. It is these seemingly trifle matters that escalate to serious issues in marriage. Look clearly before you keep throwing money away.
Sis2, i will say you should be careful with guys who are jobless or don't have money cos most of them will turn you into a sugar mummy just by milking you. No better way to tell him than to apply wisdom just like Stella has said to request for his CV and make sure he even went to school or has a certificate to get himself something meaningful in life.
ReplyDeleteI understand that not all people who are educated are rich but at least someone should have a paper to use and help their life. It could be halfway education or full way whichever one person no dey ever finish school. Hope is not abuja fine guys that are looking for ladies to feed them.
just take time and find out what he is up to, and see how you can help him out. Do the one you and leave the rest for the one that is above. You cannot help a person who has made up their mind on billing another. Some people prefer to get help from others than make their own money.
" Should it incase things pick up for him tomorrow,he will not be mad at me".
ReplyDeletePoster the line up there?? Hope he is making an effort not just a lazy guy.
🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmm.....God will help u in Jesus name
ReplyDeleteNO MAN loves a woman that spends on them! If he ask you for money constantly he doesn’t love you..he just sees you as his cash bag!!! And why would you be okay giving a man your money??? Do I smell desperation? Hmmm
ReplyDelete“Should In case things pick up for him tomorrow ,so that he will not be mad at me. ” so you’re spending on him so he’ll remember you when he picks up??? Lmao! Girl..receive sense. He only sees you as a cash bag and when he makes money he’ll dump you and follow the girl he sent that 10k you sent to him!
Poster please run for your life ooh
ReplyDeleteIf he is truly what you described above then both of you need to sit down for a serious discussion and ask him what are his plans towards getting a job cos am not sure he has one.
ReplyDeleteSome men have no shame this days..one of them that we just started talking it was not even up to a week,the next thing he is asking me to borrow him 5k that he will pay me back..I just jejely blocked him .just run and dont look back..
ReplyDeleteMy problem is he asked for money for hospital and then kept it and didn’t go
ReplyDeleteThat’s dishonest. He knew you’d give him if he claims sickness
Don’t you have things to do with money. When he asks , tell him you don’t have
Why stop when you can keep giving him until you exhaust yourself?
ReplyDeleteKnow the difference between helping someone and enabling someone.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Tell him how you feel immediately.you can not continue spending,its quite draining and makes the relationship boring.
ReplyDeleteI don’t even know where some of you ladies meet such men as this! Is it that you don’t even love yourself and your self esteem is that abysmal that you think it’s okay to ‘baby’ a grown man?
ReplyDeleteThis is why when people are shouting ‘marriage is hard up and down’, I just look at them that they made their beds and now laying in it. I’ve been married for 6 years, and it’s been the easiest decision I ever made and lived with. Sisters, always look before you leap. Last last, all those aunties and friends pressuring you will not help you live in the marriage o. Ask for God’s help, and know what you want o! I rest my case
Na wa o. Is it the desperation for the title of Mrs that has led women to be enablers of men who shamelessly and conveniently abandon their God assigned responsibility of providing for their family? True, you are not married and someone on this blog will argue you are not his wife, but it's from courtship that you advance or graduate to marriage. So if he can't provide for you now, handle his own personal responsibilities, is it when he marries you he will do? my sister, if you continue with him you are simply "sitting on a long thing".
ReplyDeleteFirst, your man is unemployed is because he wants to be jobless. For a car owner, he could have simply registered with a hailing company to become a rider. Masters degree holders do this, there is no shame in a honest hustle. After all, Mike Adenuga, owner of Glo was a cabdriver in the US at one time, but look at where he is today.
That you are hurting by his constant monetary demands only shows that you already know the answer to the dilemma you seek it's solution on SDK Blog.
Drop, the guy, widen your circle, avoid looking and sounding desperate, look beautiful, get your priorities right, work on your self worth and self esteem and the best man for you will come around.
Ah ah? There are lots of things to give as excuse na? Next time he asks, tell him that either your mum, dad, sis, cousin etc collects money from you to pay for someone's money that they misplaced. That you can't help but support them to remove shame from your family. Tell him that as it stands now, you don't mind spending only 20k on yourself every month, you just have to manage for the debt to be completely paid. 5million naira debt. You can even add more to it. When you finish paying the debt look for another thing to lie with
ReplyDeleteAlso tell him to support you from time to time
ReplyDeleteSisterly, How long have you been on this blog ? You're still looking for. nice way ba? I sure say the guy go get sweet mouth dieeeee. You're not yet ready to stop ooh if not you no go dey ask this kindergarten question.
ReplyDeleteWomen make it sound that helping a man is a taboo. Good for men to learn and wise up.
ReplyDeleteIf indeed the man makes it tomorrow as Poster prays for him and she comes back here to cry as that other Bv, hope we would not say we did not tell her to run. That other Poster categorically accused women are advised here not to help boyfriends at all. Her accusation was roundly denied that day. But...
So, Poster, read all in context.
The problem is not your giving.
The real challenge with the man from your story are: not using the money for purpose given (he should have returned the money to you); maybe lying (about his health to get the money), and maybe not being serious with his life and finances (because the amounts asked for are too small based on all you wrote). A man with all three listed character flaws will give a woman problem in marriage whether or not he is rich or makes enough money regularly.
A lying husband is a wife's worse nightmare. Ask married women whether that is a lie.