Hmmm......
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TO DO OR NOT TO DO?
Please is it normal for me to request for the contact of a girlfriend to the guy I am trying to consider for a relationship? I just want to have her contact so that we can talk from time to time, let me be sure the guy is actually what he said he is before I will say yes.
Cookies is not involved yet, my head is still thinking straight but I want to get more information from his brother's girlfriend who happens to click with me from the first day we met.
She is the only person I can get certain information from as his brother is not out spoken or cannot hold a conversation.
Say Yes to dating him or say Yes to marriage? I dont get why you want to go around asking questions about him? Is not better if you get to know him by yourself? Do you think that his brothers girlfriend would do the work you are trying to recruit her for? Please its either you say Yes or say No
Study him by yourself.
ReplyDeleteHumans have different personalities they relate with different people.
Moreover, she can give false information base on her cordiality with him.
And I know we ought to ber careful, but being a rigorous detective isn't the best route.
If its marriage proposal, you need to spend time praying for God to make everything you need to know exposed to you.
Tell him to give you time. Observe him during that period and decide if your spirit is at peace with what you've experienced and observed
DeleteWhy not go to his parents if they are alive I think they will be in a better position to tell you about their son ?better be serious with your life , people are asking God through holy spirit and prayer,anyway many of you are sinners I doubt whether you even know the God ,that is why you people keep getting breakfast in issues that God himself is the originator .
ReplyDeleteboth parents are late.
DeleteAnon 16:06, goke was being sarcastic. He/she doesn't mean that you should go and ask his parents..
DeleteI agree with Stella get to know him yourself before you complicate things for yourself
DeleteSister, pack ya load if you can't date him without going to ask his ex questions about him. You need to check yourself, you have issues bothering on insecurity.
ReplyDeleteNot his ex
DeleteHis brothers girlfriend
You omitted a word or 2 from your first sentence. The way you structured your sentence, one would wonder why you're getting into a relationship with someone who already has a girlfriend.
ReplyDeleteAs to your question...To be honest, I think you're running before you can walk. Stop thinking - relationship - and just go for dating him. The dating stage is when you get to know someone, and decide whether or not you want to enter into a committed relationship with them. Date him, and then you can get close to his "SIL". If what you hear from her doesn't please you, and aligns with what you've already observed, then end things and move on with your life.
U must be a baby, why not try to know him yourself, get to see things with ur own eyes..
ReplyDeleteYou might not really get the answer you are looking for through her.
ReplyDeleteMost people will not disclose something's to you about a guy that's just approaching you because in the end they get roped in especially when you decide to give it a try .
Get into the relationship if you feel he is someone you can be with,do your check and balances with your leg closed.
All the best.
This one you are looking for information about him, are you seeing subtle red flags already?
ReplyDeleteMost times our gut feelings are right as women. What I think is, wait till you are one on one with the lady and collect her number personally. Don't go through third parties.
Also, be subtle in asking her questions. As for the guy, open your eyes, PRAY and ask God for direction and BE WISE. Don't trust blindly.
Cheers..
Collect her number and talk to her
ReplyDeleteAs you said, your head is still clear. This is the time to fish for info.
Hmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteToo many advice bayii..just follow ur mind
What if the guy tries to do same with you.
ReplyDeleteMao Akuh
So?
DeleteContributing to Stellas red pen.
ReplyDeleteNo two persons are the same, the way he treated his ex girlfriend might be different from the way he will treat you. You know he is growing and learning. He may have not treated his ex right but may treat you right. Besides I don't see his ex girlfriend telling you anything good about him, could be out of resentment or jealousy.
I want to get more information from his brother's girlfriend who happens to click with me from the first day we met.
DeletePoster, just be friends with her and keep your eyes and ears open. Unless you are very good at asking deep drawing questions, don't try to interrogate her. As you flow, what you seek may flow from her.
DeleteAgain, know that as you dey find info, your prospective man fit find info too by the same person. And the middle woman will not throw her relationship away because of you.
Best bet, learn by observing the man and listen for confirmation from the woman without overtly seeking such confirmation.
It better to know him yourself than finding out through third party. Open your mind in knowing him more and dont be scared to back out if you sense any red flag not that anyone is perfect. If it leads to marriage then allow your parent to do their findings as they are way smarter than us and can see the unseen.
ReplyDelete🤨🤨
ReplyDeleteI just collected her contact from him yesterday, i did that after i spoke to her via his phone. I told her i would like to have her contact which she said okay. I have not called her yet to ask her anything.
ReplyDeleteI think no need to call her or ask her any questions. Will just do my findings myself, i don't know why i don't believe all he has been saying to me. Let me revert to God for direction, will put him on hold till i get clear confirmation from God.
Awesome. You have made the best decision 👍👍
DeleteLol Er confirmation from God
DeleteYour mind will tell you what you want you to hear
If you like him, date him. If you friend zone hun and he goes with someone else, okay ohh. Dating is not marriage. Get to know him while praying
Let me tell you what we girls do is that we take dating too seriously. Dating as the word goes is getting to know a person. If while dating he isn't what he said he is, you go your way. Forget all this Holy Spirit thing. The holy spirit can help you when you have gathered info based on time spent and information from conversations with him and then help you decide if he aligns. First of all, do you like him, is he honest, kind etc. All those calling the holy spirit like he is a Dibia that will just tell you if he is the one or not are lying to you. One thing is certain: God gave man the gift of choice but will guide you. Although God created Eve, Adam confirmed that she was his wife. You can not stay outside and assess this guy. spend time knowing him and see for yourself, the truth cannot be hidden for long
DeleteDon’t mind the comments here oo. Stylishly ask her questions well well. Haaaa. No dey play oo
DeleteI feel your gut is on to something......... Just be very observant and prayerful poster. Don't fully throw yourself in until you have confirmation to do so. That way, if you want to japa you can do so with ease, or if everything is okay then you go ahead.
DeleteBetter
DeleteMao Akuh
Nothing beats you studying him yourself.
ReplyDeleteThat babe may not want to give you the correct information you are looking for since she too is not even married to his brother. That your guy may spoil her show if she spills anything dirty to you, one way or the other he will get to find out that his brother's gf was the one who told you certain things about him. That will break him or make him deal with her.
ReplyDeleteYou can also think about it this way, what if she discusses you with him? She may tell him you are asking questions and what to say to you. The babe will prefer to save her own relationship than help you. Use your head and do not go asking someone questions about someone you want to date.
Spend some time dating him, then you can get answers to your questions.
ReplyDeleteWhat's the need for. Can't you study and get the necessary info from him.if believe he isn't sincere enough with the you and the relationship then bounce.Abeg leave the ex alone
ReplyDeleteWhy so fast..... Be in the relationship and know this person enough yourself before saying i do, you want information about him at hand before you can agree to his advances This life trust and risk it o, if God showed us what lies ahead before we entered marriage , people who will stay unmarried go plenty.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, you should know him yourself and the best advice I can give is to know the errors you can tolerate in a relationship as no one is perfect. If he ticks the boxes then by all means go for it.
ReplyDeleteDon't judge somebody on another person account/word
ReplyDeleteYou must be pretty naive to think that she will give you real info about this guy, when she’s just a girlfriend too. And why are you stressing yourself over what is not?
ReplyDeleteFirst, I don’t know your age and maturity, but if you’re considering a relationship then you should be mature enough to judge people’s character. Why do you think he will relate with you both on the same frequency?
Me as a friend or acquaintance is different from me as a lover. Trying to find information from this girl will make you seem immature and silly. Don’t ignore the Holy Spirit like someone was saying up there! The Holy Spirit is in us to guide us in ALL things, and yes it is okay to be intentional with dating. Also, behaviors /character is like smoke, there is only so much of hiding you can do.