CLOCKING 30 AND SCARED
Good day Stella, thanks for this wonderful platform where I believe I can get the best advice and I believe God for change. God bless you.
Now to my story, I'm going to clock 30 in few months time I call it the 'Almighty 30' and I feel scared, sad and deeply unfulfilled. Honestly I don't know how the time flew, I was a young naive teen few years ago and now I look at myself and have no story to tell. I look so small for my age too small and also I am lonely no friends, close relative and the only family I have is my younger sister as we were raised alone by our single mom who passed a few years ago.
I feel so unfulfilled, I'm currently working at a job I never envisioned for my life despite the fact that I worked hard in school. I thought been serious and focus was the pathway to success but life happened to me. I'm currently doing my professional course but I'm not practicing and it scares me that I'm late. I know I'm to motivate myself but I just need advice, words of encouragement that I'm not late in life, that I can still have the future I want.
I feel once I'm 30, alot has passed me by. I need to know I'm not late. I feel so low, lonely I have nobody except God and my sister. I'm extremely awkward socially, can barely look people in the face. I just can't do anything.
I don't even know how to start to change my story but I just need encouragement. Thank you very much and Stella thank you.
I don't even know how to start to change my story but I just need encouragement. Thank you very much and Stella thank you.
*Just 30 and you feel this horrible? Please get up and dust your shoulders,you are more than enough and nothing has passed you by..its all still in front of you.....shake off this horrible feeling!
Hmmm 🤔
ReplyDeleteFor you to say such means you are ungrateful to God that has kept you this far. So many of us close the door for a new thing in our life just because we are never appreciative of the life and things he has done for us but instead we choose to complain.
My dear continue to trust in God and pray without ceasing and he will come through for you at your own season.
DOZZYBEST 🇳🇬
Lol you guys can like to victim blame
DeleteHelp her
Leave God to say whether she’s grateful or not
Poster, I can understand how you feel, but just know that it is never to late to press the reset button.
DeleteStart looking at the big 30 from an entirely different perspective, see it as another chance to start afresh, 30 is still young believe me.
Sit down and make a plan on things you need to change about yourself, get that your certification and push yourself into the market you want, ask your friends/acquintances/ex classmates who are already in that market for help and referal, make it a habit to be more outgoing, go for parties and events you are invited to, be genuinely happy for how far you've come.
Trust God for a better future poster.
Join Koinonia poster, either in person or remotely, your story will change!
DeleteScared? Do you really know the God whom you serve?
DeleteNa waa for this first comment o. Poster please ignore, jump and pass this first comment. Any thing that is discouraging, and accusing, back to sender.
DeleteStart by planning a birthday party
ReplyDeleteYou may not feel like it but do it anyway
Invite your friends. If you say you don’t have, then invite your coworkers. Invite your sisters friends. It could be a small parkour party. Dress up. Look good. Take pics. Post them. Put yourself out there and enjoy Turning 30. Don’t hide yourself inside. Have fun.
"I am lonely; no friends, no relative/s" abi did you moss this part?
DeleteYou are right. Love yourself and do what makes you happy. Don't make life hard for yourself.
DeleteYou are right. Love yourself and do what makes you happy. Don't make life hard for yourself.
DeleteMadam 15:36 did you miss the part where if she has no friends, she should invite her coworkers and her sisters friends?
DeleteUna Too dey rush to criticize
@16:34, how you talk know say na woman comment? Mtcheew
DeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteYour fears are valid and understandable but know one thing about life. Some people found their bearing in life at their 30's and even early 40's.
Don't be despair. Remove any timeline you set on yourself and take life as it is. Things will always fall in place at the right and appointed time.
Poster Let me give you a big E-hugs. First off, Welcome to the 30s club. While I understand your concerns about where you are, I think you should relax and enjoy life. Life is about phases and there is a whole lot to learn. So ask yourself, what have I learnt in my teens, my 20s e.t.c? I also have those future nostalgia days. But hey! Why worry yourself when you can live in the moment.
ReplyDeleteYour life is in your hands so decide what picture you decide to paint on it? Never despise your humble beginnings; Soon you will be grateful for doing the job you have in your hands, you are there to learn, grow and build resilience. That professional course you are doing; make sure you write it and pass in flying color; that is your mind discouraging you by saying ''You are not gonna practice''. Trust me no knowledge is a waste; in the course of your life you will be amazed where it will be applicable.
I always advise people who come to meet me for career advice: Always keep an open mind, don't limit it; you will be shocked about your capabilities and strength. Smile, stay healthy, speak words of affirmation everyday. Leave the future and tomorrow for the one who knows the end from the beginning...You are more than enough, pray to God. You will get there, the most important thing is where you are now is not where you were 10, 12 years ago.
All the best. I am rooting for you 👌
@ Phoenix, so on point, I remember when I clocked 30, I was struggling on my job, no clear career direction, no serious relationship, things were just somehow. I went to the fast food near my office and ordered a nice cake, shared cake and drinks in the office , took pics, posted and thanked God for everything He had done so far.
DeleteA few years later, I blame myself for ever feeling bad cos almost everything I wished for has come to pass in God's own time. Poster, thank God for where you are and celebrate your life, run in your own tracks at your own pace. I eventually concluded the certification I was doing back then about 2 years later and it's been a big blessing to me, just keep putting one foot in front of the other, none of us can see the full picture, that's what we all do. Keep that faith.
If only you knew that some folks will give almost all they have to be your age. There's so much ahead. Try to be calm and take each day as it comes. You're life story has just started being written.
ReplyDeleteI know when you look around, you see your mates doing better, that's life. 15 minutes ago, notification from my Class WhatsApp Forum popped up notifying of the death of a classmate. Life. Cheer up. Life's everything.
Good luck.
Nothing has passed you by. Dont believe that lie the devil is selling to your mind. Your best days are ahead of you.
ReplyDeleteGoogle affirmations, and pick out the ones you want to see in your life. Stick on your mirror look at it everyday and say it.
E. G.
I am beautiful
I am strong
I am bold.
I am happy.
I am smart.
I am strong.
God loves me.
God has a plan for me.
I am good at what i do
I am loved
I find favor with God and man. Etc.
Poster the most important part of life is that you are alive and healthy.
ReplyDeleteEvery other thing will fall into shape.
You even have a job, you have your proffessional thing going, all you need is high doses of positivity and confidence as you keep on your grind.
You will pick up when not expecting it, just keep calling on God.
Lol..
ReplyDeleteI see myself like I haven't started living yet sef, as they say life begins at 40..
I so much look to becoming 40 so I can start living
You have written yourself off. why.? Getting old is not a disease but a grace. You didn't mention being sick or struggling with life, enough reason to be thankful.
ReplyDeleteAt 30, you still have more years ahead. I have seen 50'', 60'....etc.
looking fresh and fabulous.
As long as you still have air in your lung, do your best and leave the rest for God.
You have written yourself off. why.? Getting old is not a disease but a grace. You didn't mention being sick or struggling with life, enough reason to be thankful.
ReplyDeleteAt 30, you still have more years ahead. I have seen 50'', 60'....etc.
looking fresh and fabulous.
As long as you still have air in your lung, do your best and leave the rest for God.
You have written yourself off. why.? Getting old is not a disease but a grace. You didn't mention being sick or struggling with life, enough reason to be thankful.
ReplyDeleteAt 30, you still have more years ahead. I have seen 50'', 60'....etc.
looking fresh and fabulous.
As long as you still have air in your lung, do your best and leave the rest for God.
You are 30
ReplyDeleteYou are not late at all. God will restore all the years you lost.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
This is the same thing one guy asked a deacon in my church and the deacon asked him if he wanted God to take away everything he has right now(which includes his life) and give him only the things he thought he lacked ?he saw through the question and became thankful.Poster pls allow your gratitude to God exceed your requests and things will be better.There’s no late comer in the things of life.some people will become rich before 30 and die at 35 while others will become rich at 40 and enjoy it till they are 90.Some will get married at 25 and divorce at 30 while some marry at 43 and live happily ever after.Nothing is too late for God.
ReplyDelete🤗🤗🤗,you will be fine. Your break through is near.
ReplyDeleteCheer up sister, all will be well.
ReplyDeleteI will be 30 in few months with the smallest body size you can ever think of, try to pick yourself up and enjoy life as it comes, this is what has kept me in sane for a while.
So many times I feel life was unfair to me but when I remember God's faithfulness, I snap out of that feeling.
Your story is similar to mine just that my mum is still alive, if you're in Lagos and would need a friend to socialise together try reaching out, I cannot comment with my blog Id, I don't want anyone to make mockery of me now or later.
May your soul find joy in God and strength for the journey ahead, God is still interested in you and your future, keep your head high.
There are free and beautiful events you can attend all you need is your transport free
Thank you for this.
DeletePS: I'm not the poster
You mentioned being lonely, do you stay alone??If you have time to go out or join a meaningful group where you can meet and interact with people
ReplyDeleteYou are emotional down maybe due to work stress or the fear you won't achieve more. Get rid of that pressure you are giving yourself. Your present situation may be part of a story to tell, fear no more.
Hey sis…you are more than enough…you said you worked hard in school… continue to look for that job opportunity…apply as much as you can even if you think you are not qualified…join a youth church like daystar and enrol for membership class…go for cell meetings…you will meet lots of people…participate in activities….volunteer…continue to upskill…if you had a good result apply for scholarships … you will be surprised
ReplyDeleteYou mentioned being lonely, do you stay alone??If you have time to go out or join a meaningful group where you can meet and interact with people
ReplyDeleteYou are emotional down maybe due to work stress or the fear you won't achieve more. Get rid of that pressure you are giving yourself. Your present situation may be part of a story to tell, fear no more.
Pls change your mindset sweet heart.you can be whatever you wanna be,if only you work hard, have faith and walk towards the direction of your faith.you can still achieve all your heart desires if you believe and trust God more.
ReplyDeletePoster be grateful to God for seeing you this far. And deliberately try to make friends. Go out to cinemas, weddings and mingle. Join a group in church and be active. And most importantly, pray to God to guide you.
ReplyDeleteWho made 30 the hallmark for achievements? You see ladies rushing to get married before 30. Men trying to have a house, car, etc before 30. Who said you can’t achieve anything after 30? Who said if you don’t “achieve” things before 30, you’re a failure?
ReplyDeleteOmo..better change this sick mentality you have
You Dey mind her… too much pressure in naija. Poster if you can leave naija, please leave with your sister and start afresh somewhere. I live abroad and the pressure is not crazy bad like naija own.
DeleteIf not for a few differences, I would have thought I sent this story, the Lord is your strength my sister, keep striving and praying, better opportunities are on the way
ReplyDeleteSending you hugs, plenty of hugs 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗.
ReplyDeleteYou are not late, keep working hard,hold on to God and try to make friends, just take one day at a time.
I pray everything falls in place for you amen.
Poster, let my life be a testimony for you:
ReplyDeleteAt 30, life was bleak. i could not even boast of N10,000 in my account. I didn't even celebrate my birthday. But that day, I made a vow that I'll make it or die trying.
So i started going on a journey of self development. I read many books (i used to buy under bridge), attend many educative events (both free and paid when I can), met many people and kept in touch by only delivering value (without asking them for anything in return). It was awkward at first, but slowly i built my network.
Fast forward 8 years later...
Now - Last year, I did N250 Million in income! I am poised to do £500,000 (yes, Pounds) this year and I've done £250,000 already.
For the first time, I flew business class (i could afford first class - but fear dey catch me).
My social circle has changed. I now own properties (3) in the UK and i am looking to buy more. I own a duplex in Lagos as well (but I no send that).
I share this to let you know that your life can turn around. But you need to take action yourself. You need to paint a picture of where you want to be and carefully everyday engineer it to get there. You will fail on the road, you will stumble...but you will get result.
Fun fact: On my last trip, a fine lady kept checking me out on the flight. I approached and she said I like you! I just smiled and said...I like you too, but I am married :)
I know it's because i exude a confident, virbrant aura, i was properly dressed, I take care of myself, I have a nice perfume on, my dressing was really good too and all of these are due to me making more money than my eyes can sometimes imagine.
I know you are probably a lady, but nothing stops you from achieving the kind of success I have. Again, I share this to encourage you. I wish you the best
My dear it’s not easy but make the Lord your friend not just your Heavenly Father. Start finding joy in the little things e.g that you even have a younger sister, you have a job, you are healthy etc. read the Bible and inspirational books also listen to inspirational songs. Find or think of ways or things you can do to change things you are not happy with in your life and finally Take it one day at a time, never fret over the future.
ReplyDeleteI became a whole new person when I turned 37 I’m 41 now but I feel like a kid, I love God so much and at times my spirit gets down if I think I’m lonely or not fulfilled like my mates or meeting expectations by society but in general I’m so happy and full of life and ready to love and if it never happens I’m still going to be happy. Like you I have no friends and even family just my little daughter because I moved to the US 4years ago.
The mindset is horribly wrong. Everybody's timetable is different. Nothing is wrong with you dear but phobia and comparison I assume. I Married at 34, got a job 38, multiple miscarriages in between, but 40.... everything opened up. 3 straight kids and financial blessings came calling. If I'll do anything differently, looking back, I'll like to go take back the years I worried for nothing . Cheers! You'll be ok
ReplyDeleteI thought I wrote this,but I am learning to trust God and love myself,in my own case I have a child,no husband or man in my life,but I am still grateful,so poster,your life is not over,just put everything in the hands of God and watch Him do wonders,cheers!
ReplyDeleteI used to have a lot of worries, self esteem issues, fear about what tomorrow will bring but following some people on social media shifted my mindset.
ReplyDeleteI let go of so many negative thoughts, feelings and now I hardly care or bother myself so much about what I can't change.
One of my prayers of thanksgiving to God is that social media was available in my day and time, I don't have to try and fail before I learn, I can learn from other people.
Please follow people whose view of life aligns with your personal beliefs, you'll build your confidence that way and realize that much better days are ahead.
Twins ♊ Squared
Social media can also be a downfall. There are so many ways people motivated themselves before social media. But good thing it’s been helping you out. Wishing you all the best.
DeleteAnon 16:06, being lonely does not equate alone. You can be with your friends and family and still have that lonely feeling. This is more mood related. Poster you mentioned you can’t look at people in the face. You might need to check out symptoms of anxiety and maybe get a prescription or supplements for that. You need to take care of your mental health first. Once you do that, things will start falling more into place, you’ll be able to step out of your comfort zone, mingle and network. Have a plan to start eating healthy and workout/go for a run, sweat it out, it’ll to increase your feel good hormones. (Working out the cheapest form of therapy), keep praying and praying for Gods and people’s favor. I’m saying this because this happened to me. Had to take care of my mental health first. I was also sleep deprived. Now I plan on going back to school and focus on other things in my life. I’m older than you by the way and I’m just starting to really improve my life. So cheer up please. Take things one step at a time. See a therapist if you need to. To help you process your mom’s death, childhood trauma, etc… good luck.
ReplyDeleteDo your best and trust God. Your life can change in less than a year. Just be prayerful and believe God. He is faithful. I am a living witness
ReplyDeleteHey sis.
ReplyDeleteFirst come and take a big hug *hug hug hug*
You know what? You are a strong girl, raised by a single mother, who watches you from heaven, smiling at how well you’re building a life without her.
I know the feeling. I was so depressed when so turned 30 and it was a changing point for me. It still is, until this very day and that was 5 years ago. I stopped making excuses for myself and others and started going for what I wanted. I’m not there yet, but I am way better than I were I was.
The truth is this: if you continue to play small, you will get small results. Better results come to those who take risks. You need to challenge yourself on ALL fronts. You need to challenge yourself to read for your professional exams. At the other side of that exam is a fatter pay check, that will make you happier.
You need to challenge yourself to be less socially awkward. At the other side are many amazing people who will support you to new beginnings and open doors.
You have to challenge yourself to pray more. At the other side is spiritual victories and open spiritual eyes to see and know the things that are not working for you - but you may not know in the moment.
You need to challenge yourself to see you better than you currently do. A better self image would improve your confidence. There are many petite women who have achieved a lot. Don’t let the enemy pull the wool over your eyes.
Lastly, enjoy the process. Growth comes differently for everyone. Be honest about your weak areas. Buy books and read up on how to improve in these areas. Read them, journal your feelings and be intentional about working on these aspects of your life. When you can afford to, see a therapist. Loss & grief affect us in more ways than we often know.
I celebrate you sis. Speaking up is the first Victory. Don’t ever let anyone shame you for how you feel. Most importantly, trust God with your feelings.
It is well
How do you measure lateness? what is your metric or yardstick. Even if Dangote is to compare himself with some his friends, he is also late too.
ReplyDeleteSending you love and positive vibes @poster. You should join twitter and LinkedIn, network with like minds… Go to events like expos, professional networking events et al where you are likely to meet people that are moving up in life. Get into tech, not too late to start! I started my tech career at age 36. Love yourself always, and stay positive!
ReplyDeleteIt’s such a terrible situation to have this feelings at any point in your life. What do you think you can change about yourself? What are the things you aspire to that you know are within your limits to achieve them?
ReplyDeleteStart small; change a bit of yourself everyday. Throw yourself a small party and invite the few persons you know including your sister’s friends. Improve on your self esteem and feel like you’re working towards being your best at all times.
What you have done by sending this chronicle is a good start. It shows you desire a change. I am positive that you will achieve that which you wish for.
Good luck and best wishes as you face life.