Hmmmmm... This is serious!
She is replying to this POST HERE
Good day Stella I just came online to read about what my husband said. I don't want to start going into detail of what has happened three years ago because I choose not to leave in the past but I will reply to some of the thing my husband has said here.
He said my mum told him she hates his tribe, yes she said that because of her experience with people from his tribe and what she went through with them. I am not saying she was right because I spoke to her about it . And concerning my mother in-law he said my mother was mad at his mother because if cooler of food? That is a big lie after our wedding which we did at his place my mother In law never called my family or any one to even ask if the arrived safely, she has never called my mum even once she called my mother after one year of marriage, that is when I gave birth. And as humans my mum was cold towards her because she was like which kind of family did I marry Into that can't even call Thier in-laws to even check on them to even ask if the arrived safely from the wedding until after a year.
He said my mother came for omugou and started causing trouble in the home? But that is also another lie when my mother came for omugou she just left my elder brothers house that his wife gave birth a month before I did to help her since her own mother was late.when my mum came she noticed my husband was never around and he never calls to check up on me or the baby so she said she doesn't understand this love we both claim to have because she is not seeing it.
I told her that is how my husband is he doesn't really call much so it's not an issues but she wasn't happy about that because she felt as a new mother I should have all the attention and care from my husband, so she stayed for two weeks and wanted to leave. she called my elder brother and told him she was leaving he was surprised because it's too early and she told him she can't stay in a place where there is no love.
So my brother called my husband to ask him what is happening why is my mother leaving So soon. But because my husband is very temperamental he came back and started shouting at me which is a normal thing anyways so my mother heard and asked what the issue was he told her I called my brothers to report to them and she told him she made the call with out regard he started shouting at my mother and I told him you can't do that to my mum.i know you do that to your mother and she doesn't correct you but you have no right to talk to my mother with disrespect. Because of that my mother left the next day.
He has painted my family to be the bad guys I have 2 kids and not even one of my in-laws have ever called me to even say congratulations after I give birth. His mother supports everything he does. And he said I always report him to my family but it's actually the other way around. After my mother left he started staying out late, he leaves the house before I wake up and comes back after I have slept this is two weeks after I just gave birth as a new mother with no help from anyone.
I couldn't continue like this and my sister's were serving in the same town I was in so I asked them to move In And stay with me. But it was one complain or the other so I asked them to leave. After the left he didn't changed the late night still continued I couldn't continue like that so I called my brother and that is the 1st time I am calling my brothers to tell them what is happening In My marriage even my mum I never told her anything she saw everything herself .
I told my brother I don't t want to be married anymore the should come and take me out of the marriage and they did. So I left but he kept coming to beg that he will change and things will get better after two months I came back to the house against my family wish. He changed for a while and that is how I got pregnant for the 2nd child . But did I have peace no. He goes out drinks, comes back late calls me a prostitute all kind of terrible names you can think of telling me I am just a dumb bitch he regrets getting married to me and all.of cause I won't just sit and get insulted I also give him back to back we end up keeping malice and start talking after few days and my brothers didn't vandalise anything as he said. Because the thing he claimed they vandalised I asked him to show me he refused.
Tell me what it is he has refused.but he claims I support my family so he calls me a traitor The truth is he didn't bring me back I came back on my own because I felt we can make it work.but it's not working I can't continue like this. it's not as if I nag him or anything anything he proves we eat it with thanks and I also support the family. I don't ask him for even money to make hair talk more of up keep I understand our situation and I keep hoping for things to get better i have tried everything to make it work but it's not enough.
Every day it's one insult or the other. I am not saying I don't have my faults but there is a way to talk to an adult but my husband talks to me as if I am a ten years old child because as far as he is concerned that is what I am. I have had enough I told him we should go our separate ways because we both need to be happy I am not happy in this marriage.its not working I can't keep getting insulted everyday he doesn't even care how I am or how I am coping with two boys and pregnancy he comes home 11-12 I don't even complain anymore because it has become a normal thing. Anytime I complain he will tell me he doesn't cheat on me so what am I complaining about any little thing I do he remains me of how I left the house and he didn't go to bring me back I came back out of shame I can still go back again.
Telling his friends he is not even sure he is the father of our second child and the all sit and talk about me . He has painted me to his family to be a monster his friends see me as one and from what he wrote here alot of people already see me and my family as monsters. I don't have friends my only friends are my two younger sisters and me relating with them makes him angry because he doesn't want me to associate with my family he hates my family because he thinks the are the cause of his problem. I am even shocked seeing this hear he sent this last year and he is sending it again that is how he remains me of it everyday. I am not a lazy woman and he knows that.
My second pregnancy I worked till the day I gave birth and I have birth on Monday Mt and went to the office on Tuesday morning to work. Me and my husband do the same work but he didn't feel the need to help me out with that so I had to go and do it myself he was at home hosting with his mother since he said my mother is the problem he said his mother will be the one to come for omugou I didn't say anything. The day she came the 1st thing she told me is that she knows I am not happy that she is here but this is her son's house I didn't say anything.she didn't come to take care if me she came to take care of her son.
she cooked the day she came and helped me bath and the second day that was it on Wednesday which is 3days after I gave birth I carried my baby and trekked to the hospital while my mother in-law that came for omugou was at home with her son. She stayed for 1 week and left.
And desiring her stay she saw all what her son was doing but she never corrected him instead she joined him to say I am the problem I am refusing to contribute to the house the way her son told her. There is alot to say but I won't finish if I start I am tired of the back and forth nobody wants to stay with a monster and if I am as bad as he paints me to be why is he still in the marriage becaues he will say love please show me were there is love here next I am not seeing it.
Thank you madam Stella please forgive my errors...
*I just this as pettiness from you both...Has the love that joined you both together so damaged? gone? This is a toxic marriage and I am shocked that you are both BVs...Please i hope both of you have never commented in any Chronicle? make una no try am oh..
My advice is that both of you should try and sort out this una brouhaha.....
Its amazing how you both can write looooooooooooong chronicles...
Your hubby says that after you respond he will now tell his side of the story...Oga please try to reduce the length when sending me a mail....
I think you guys should go your seperate ways. To be honest, it doesn't look like your marriage is going to work. There's a lot of bitterness between both families.
ReplyDeleteThe other day I wrote this was an abusive marriage and not healthy for kids but someone responded back to my comment and asked what is "abusive in the man's chronicle". See I really pity people that grew up in abusive families. When you see a manner repeating itself in your life you won't even know. Am glad this woman responded. You both clearly don't respect each other. No love nothing. Please for now separate but don't divorce till both of you know what you want. Stop raising kids in unhealthy environment so we can have a safe environment for our children future. If separation is not working then divorce. Your marriage cannot work without the support from inlaws on both side. All parties are so petty
DeleteI said it na
DeleteRead my comment from the last post, I dint buy the market he tried to sell.
You complained about her sisters coming over, yet she has no maid, I don’t blame him, it’s some single men giving advice he is listening to
Dear poster, you too get am for body, you both lack proper means of communication and nobody is willing to learn, how you both have a 3rd child is a what I can’t understand cus you sound like you don’t like each other.
Your husband is set in his ways and isn’t willing to learn, this is why I tell people to marry open minded people who are willing to learn.
Great communication makes a beautiful home, you can talk about anything and be respectful when you both speak.
If he calls his wife a bitch why did he then marry her?
How do you call your spouses names? no matter the anger, scream and shout but calling someone out of their names is so wrong.
I think y’all need to take a break, but that would be a lot with three kids, you both should have sort counseling before coming back together. If he is open seek counseling, work on your problems, do the therapy required if he isn’t, it’s time to go your ways.
Marriage is not the only way to make heaven
Push up (original)
The problem in the marriage is the mother of your husband
DeleteMummy's boy Nawa oooooo A man that can't take of his own family
Lizzy
@push up unfortunately, those single men giving him advice, don't even know their left foot from their anus.
DeleteIf the 'head of house' is behaving like a toddler, I can assure you that nothing good will come out of the union.
Madam better leave now o, not after 6 kids and then you will say you dont know what happened while this dude has abandoned you for one IG baddie.
They shouldn't go their separate ways. I got it now. If I had posted something bad about you poster, I'm sorry.
DeleteA woman alone can't build a home. Oga, have you ever bought her a gift after she gave birth just to appreciate her? I guess No. Emotional trauma is also worse, oga, you have touched where you shouldn't have touched i.e. insulting/bad mouthing her. Do you know what, only a beast/low self-esteemed /stupid/no proper home training man abuses/insults women.
Madam try and add spices to your home, dress/cook well, make it a lively place, initiate conversation, attend women fellowship, revival. I can't type the things in my head/mind now.
Look for that person that you guys respect, get counselled from him/her, All the best.
Mao Akuh
Oga you need to grow up both mentally, spiritually and emotionally, no be everything ear hear, mouth dey talk as man. Take correction even you 'madam" and amend. With this APC regime, you are still drinking and smoking, Madam stop bad mouthing him and start praying for him, the kids are watching.
DeleteMao Akuh
Shebi I said we should hear the lady’s side of the story?? Everyone paints themselves clean when telling their own. Tho even from his write up I could notice that he was childish and narcissistic. And from her own write up she is childish as well. Anyway he has created a monster. Make dem separate so he can marry his mom.
DeleteAnon 17:59. I was the one that commented under your post. Well, now that the wife has responded, it is obvious that he was lying.
DeleteAfter reading his chronicle, I did believe his story and made another comment about him being more understanding with the wife, children and marriage.
After hearing from his wife, it is very obvious that he is the one that has been misbehaving. It is quite unfortunate.
After reading this, I am honestly inclined to believe her, don’t ask me why but a man that cannot be available for his wife after childbirth no matter what, is not a good man, Period!
ReplyDeleteIf my future mother in law
Deletehad told me on the first day i met her that she hated my tribe, I would have ended that relationship there and then.
That is the genesis of this whole thing.
This marriage will never work. Sorry.
i totally agree with you, the wife may not be perfect, but being unavailable to your wife after child birth, speaks volume of the man.
DeleteTrue @16:15
DeleteThat is why the Muslim man in the second chronicle of today quickly took a walk. Yet people are blaming him that he walked away too quick.
People who have married their spouses despite being disliked by their spouses' parents or family know what it takes to stay in such marriages especially when the disliking person(s) refuse to change or reconsider their position, or even give the person disliked open/fair opportunity to prove themselves good
16:15 why so pained by the woman’s hating tribe comment? Did she say she hates him
DeleteVery worthless man
DeleteWhy will someone's mother say she doesn't like people from her boyfriend's tribe, in front of the boy. My mum used to tell me that if anyone from two parilticular tribes ask me out, I should run. The funny part is, my childhood friends are both from these tribes and they never hurt me while growing up. As a matter of fact, they are still my friends till date. I just feel it's wrong to say that to someone. If I were the boy, nothing will make me go into that marriage, especially if the wife didn't tell her mum what she said was wrong.
DeleteFunny enough that’s not the only problem, he went ahead cus he loved the girl but his lack of respect made him disrespect someone’s parent cus he doesn’t have respect for his own mum
DeleteHe also needs his family on his side cus he seems marriage as a battle field rather than a home.
His upbringing is fighting his heart.
Push up (original)
@16:41
DeleteA person who h8tes a tribe, will at least dislike any person from that tribe. And that person would think his/her disliking the other person is a favour since it is lesser than h8tred.
At the very least, Poster's mother dislike Poster's husband because of his tribe. It also appears her dislike begot dislike from Poster's husband and his family. And a younger person rarely respects a person he/she dislike. So Poster's husband does not respect his MIL.
The marriage has been overshadowed by H8tred, dislike, disrespect all round.
Road map is clear: forgiveness> mutual respect between couples> respect of each of the couple by their respective families> agreement between couple to keep their families out of their marriage> politeness for starters between both families.
Mama's boy! I knew it!
ReplyDeleteYou see them Mama's boy eh, It always - always - ALWAYS never ends well for them in Marriage. badly raised boys can never be Good husbands but their family after spoiling them will think getting them married will cure all the damages but deep down it is to transfer the headache to an unsuspecting lady to cure. How is that possible please?
DeleteHusband and Wife - Please where do we start from? It is well
Stella you still want them to finish us with another long ass epistle? Mba o.
DeletePoster and husband, you both need to go on a long separation and maybe later evaluate if the union is worth keeping because what in heaven's name is this??!
It is well.... Stella your red pen made me laugh. "Try and reduce the length"
ReplyDeleteYes oh. That was the funniest part for me. She told him to reduce the length. Hahaha.
DeleteMadam poster, you should have done family planning after baby no 2. How can you be pregnant a third time in this toxicity? Then you plan to leave. How will you maintain your job or business and take care of 3 children under 5 years old?
Not wise thinking on your part at all.
Bianca Bruno.
The funniest part for me was when she said make them no try comment for any chronicle
Delete18:45, don't mind her. She kept collecting raw and moaning, after they will fight and keep malice. Now she is pregnant for the third child in a shaky marriage. Nonsense couple
Deletetry and reduce the longness.... as in hahahahaha
DeleteMao Akuh
Lol@stella last paragraph.
ReplyDeleteToo many third parties will destroy the best of marriages let alone the one that is shaking.
If you both are ready for your marriage to work,a lot of genuine forgiveness as to come in play,mutual respect and understanding,effective communication and lastly prayers.
Let mothers, brothers, friends and so on stay away from your home,their interference is too much.....
That's it
DeleteLizzy baby
So xoxo mystery saw right through that chronicle.
ReplyDeleteMy own is may we not marry immature men IJN. What's my family business doing with family members not to talk of OUTSIDERS ?
Look at a whole mother fanning flames in the freaking house? Chaii 😪
You did not see the immature womEn in the story.
DeleteThe "E" is deliberate.
How many are in that marriage? 5 at least? Stop reporting your spouse to your parents! Leave & cleave. It can’t work between 2 people if it’s between 5. Many don’t know how to set boundaries for their relatives in their homes.
DeleteStop this myth of ALL moms are well wishers! If all moms are perfect, who are the wicked ones we read about everyday in the news or those portrayed by actors like Patience Ozokwo? Even the Bible says a woman CAN forget a suckling child & not have mercy on their child in Isaiah!
Read some of Dr Olukoya’s books about moms who do not want their sons or daughters to marry at all for wickedly selfish reasons until God intervened. May God give us a discerning spirit in Jesus name. Poster you should both repent, have a heart to heart communication, forgive each other, resolve never to involve your moms &siblings in your marriage. If you can’t or won’t, you won’t have a marriage and your next marriages will follow the exact pattern, no offense.
We use Isaac & Rebecca as one of the examples of biblical good marriages but it was a dysfunctional marriage and each spouse picked a child among their twins to replace the other spouse. Dad liked Esau but Rebecca loved Jacob & used feminine wiles to deceive her husband by teaching the son she substituted for her spouse. By not setting boundaries for outsiders including parents, you mess up your relationship & allow them “counsel” their favorite in a destructive way to the other based on their biased probably unreasonable experience.
Stop taking advice from many online who haven’t been on this journey. You cannot teach someone to drive if you don’t know how to drive. You may have an opinion everyone is entitled to their opinions but beware of counsels of “Ahithopel” online! Search the Bible for Ahithopel’s counsel. In 32 years, neither of us has ever reported the other to our relatives so some resent us for not being able to “see” what’s going on not knowing we sometimes have heated arguments like all normal couples but shut up once someone else, even relatives are around. “Never let them see you sweat” is a common 🇺🇸 saying applicable in marriage.
Poster, you are both petty no offense. No phone call only? You have just started o. My in-laws have never spent 5000 naira on me in 30 years, they just take, though they can afford to. I don’t sweat it, they aren’t my husband. They collected money from me even for the souvenirs they distributed at one of my parents funerals, as in I sent them money to pretend they didn’t anttend empty handed yet I spent millions of naira of my own hard earned money on their parents funerals? Yes but I forgave them as they are not my spouse. Learn to go to the market without the noise of the market else you will be distracted & diverted. Forgive each other 70 x 7 times so you can have a good marriage. It’s a marathon not a sprint. Lastly without love you cannot have a marriage so talk to each other & sort things out. Read & digest 1Cor 13. The love chapter.✌🏾
@10:04
DeleteAlways like reading your comments - experienced, practical, well grounded.
Me too! ..Anon 10:04 just know you've got a fan here.. specifically came back to look for your comment. Thank you so much for your input ma❤️
DeleteThanks Anon 14:59 and Anon 07:57🙏🏾
DeleteNawaoo. This Una story don tire me true true cos y’all are acting like kids. You 2 should sit down and have a heart to heart conversation and sort out ur marriage. All this back nd forth chronicles Una dey send is becoming annoying biko Mtcheeeews.
ReplyDeleteToo much insults have passed from one end to the other to think a happily ever after can ever occur in this home. Except they both give their lives to Christ.
DeleteBianca Bruno
Hmm na wa.
ReplyDeleteSo your husband lied almost about everything.
This must be some sorth of misunderstanding.
And a lot damage has been done.
May God lead you both.
But incase domestic violence enters pls you guys should separate o
Lol 😂😆 @ try to reduce the length when sending me a mail 💌
ReplyDelete@ posters, both of you need to sit down and really trash this out.
Sharing your issues on the blog may not solve the problem, bvs will only apportion blames and pitt you against each other. If you still want this marriage to work, then resolve your issues amicably through dialogue and honest communication.
Twins ♊ Squared
I understand Stella's position as a journalist.
DeleteBut truly, I was expecting Stella to tell the Husband not to send any more chronicle other than to thank her for the platform to air their grievances to themselves, and to tell Bvs that they are working their way back from where they are now to where they wanted to be when they agreed to be married.
Poster, best wishes to you and your Husband. Regards to your Children.
Stella, (Oniovo) no vex o.
#theIsokoMan
Honestly no solution will come from sharing it here. Do they even look like they want to settle? Apportioning blames here and there. "Na u do this one nai make I do like this"... Oh God!🤦
DeleteThank you isoko man. My sentiments exactly. Oga do not send anything here again. You are both wrong and you do not need to prove anything to us. Swallow your ego with sprite, separate and ask God to give you a forgiving spirit.
DeleteYou sef madam reporter. Weh done ma. You report your husband abi you no report?.
Both of you need to work on yourselves.
Hmmm Oga Please reply this chronicle abeg. But it does not take away the fact that you both are petty. It will only take God to intervene, starting off with I no like your tribe back and forth is the foundation of this wahala. There is no love at all between you two and your husband sounds like a narcissist going by your story.
ReplyDeleteBoth of you should decide your future going forward and with the children you both share. Jesus take the wheel..
Do you guys even know what petty means
DeleteSomeone is maltreating his wife you’re saying petty
The man is a narcissist.
DeleteAnonymous 16:43 Both of them are petty you hear. You can also define what pettiness mean if you cannot read through all the plenty chronicles. It takes two to tango..
Delete@Slim Shaddy He obviously is..Both of them should just decide what's best for them
Anon 16:43, Stella said "petty " so that means they are petty na. Mtshew !
Delete18:13 they just pick and repeat
DeleteSeems the two families have score to settle. What was the foundation of the marriage? Why can't you and your wife focus and build your own happiness and home. As for your in-laws , study them, use wisdom and follow them . No matter how good you are, you can never please everyone.
ReplyDeleteSeems the two families have score to settle. What was the foundation of the marriage? Why can't you and your wife focus and build your own happiness and home. As for your in-laws , study them, use wisdom and follow them . No matter how good you are, you can never please everyone.
ReplyDeleteThis marriage needs to be dissolved. It’s beyond redemption. The man is toxic
ReplyDeleteNo. Poster's mother should have stood her ground against the marriage because of her h8tred (okay, dislike) for the man's tribe. The relationship ended that day. Unfortunately, they went on with the marriage.
DeleteBoth of you have no business being together. No respect, no compatibility, no consideration from both sides.
ReplyDeleteIs it not shameful how you and your husband are doing this in public?
But oga, why did you treat your wife that way when she had your baby? Imagine having to return to work a day after childbirth.
Oga, why did you not fill in for your wife since you do same jobs?
Without wasting time, you guys got pregnant the third time.
How do you raise children in such a home filled with bitterness?
Y’all go your separate ways.
Sluttychic.
both of you have major work to do in this marriage, i am thinking both of you were never friends in the first place. No love abi you married so that you both can answer married people. You both sold yourself to your families, you discuss each other with your family. That is why each family member can insult or talk to each other anyhow.
ReplyDeleteMadam, you should always discuss issues with your husband before you accept any of your family members coming to stay with you. You are a married woman and should not first talk with your husband about your sisters before you ask them to come over. Your husband is feeling that you did not respect him by inviting them without discussing it with him. You knew your husband was not doing well with his attitude but you went ahead to involve your innocent sisters.
Your mum has no right to come over to your husband to speak to your husband anyhow, the same thing to your husband's mother. How can you allow your mother to speak to your wife anyhow? Men stop encouraging your mother to talk to your wife anyhow, please. Both of you don't have respect for yourself, those children are suffering and you are not teaching them good morals.
Make una take a break from this toxic marriage before one person die on top of marriage. Is not by force, you bother are not happy or in love anymore. If you both cannot sort out your differences please end it.
Discuss which issues
DeleteHe won’t help her and he won’t let her sisters help her
Bloody
Good points
DeleteStella this is not pettiness on both sides
ReplyDeleteThe guy is a monster. The End
No be first to call Police dey win case oh.... From both stories. I feel oh, in my humble opinion the guy is a narcissist. Quite petty too. She has her faults but i think he constantly tries to bring her down which as we all know can be mentally and psychologically damaging.
ReplyDeleteI think the minute tribal sentiment was introduced into this relations, things started falling apart. Not everyone has the capacity entertain tribal criticism. I don't know he got wind of it, that was when this should have decelerated and brought to rest. Partners in whatever ramification, hardly survive it.
ReplyDeleteBecause in your case, that criticism had cascaded into the fabrics of family. Reason why the two families are cold towards each other, and it doesn't look like a healing that can be engineered by man.
Initially I had objected to dissolution, but with this petty toxicity, it's better to go your separate ways. I don't understand how you two are surviving in an unhappy intertwine. This situationship can only degenerate into an abusive interaction, whether provoked or not. The minute gesticulating impulse, will be an intolerable affront. So what the two famies should be discussing is how to deal with the welfare of children, the inherent resentment has eaten deep beyond redemption.
Both of you should please choose a path that is very tolerant of your peace of mind and happiness, without which there won't be love. Two children witg these atmosphere? Lord have mercy on us all.
Truly, the problem started from the point of her mother voicing out tribal hatred. There’s hardly any hope for this union except one or both parties decide to put all previous animosity aside and start afresh on a clean slate.
DeleteMtcheww 10,000 times. All of you are not serious.
ReplyDeletePoster,
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for the clarification. It's very rear for a woman to just grow madness against a man without a cause.
Yet a woman can keep all these for 3 good years without letting people know (what an enduring woman you are!).
Oga, let me just tell you, if this woman eventually leaves, your eye go clear.
Madam,
If separation will give you peace of mind for now, please plan it out. It is never a wrong idea please. E kpelle.
May God almighty grants you a perfect peace.
@KSB TRUTH
Thank you God for vindicating me. I saw the lies in his chronicle. I saw discrepancies in the first chronicle he sent last year and the one he sent this year.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, it is not true he is not cheating. He is heavily cheating. Someone somewhere is gassing him up. Your husband is a wicked man, mismanages funds and has no future plans. If he is not cheating, why will the thought of a second wife come from? It means he has a Relationship that he is nurturing.
A new mother need the husband by her side. But the way he is going, keep your sisters on the phone. Don't isolate your family. A closed mouth is usually a closed destiny. Speak up. You have two kids and one in the bun. Be alive for them.
There are marriages where both inlaws swore their children won't marry. Today, their kids are still married and doing well. For him to hold onto what your mother said million years ago makes him an extraordinary wicked person. Mothers of those days were not as exposed as us. They spoke based on their limited interactions and exposure.
A man that is planning to marry another wife when the wife is pregnant and he has two boys must be an extremely wicked man. Oga...repent.
When women make money, societ will demand humility and she should settle. When men make money, society will demand them to marry plenty women.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
If both of you want this to work. Then treat each other with respect. Then request for a marriage therapist.
DeleteMind you, most marriage therapist in Nigeria don't know what they are doing. At the end of the day, it is your husband who is the Head of the home that will lead and you will follow. Husband should love you. You should respect him.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Exactly
DeleteShe hates your tribe so what
Since how many years
Even people that in-laws hated are married and doing fine
I just wish she used good birth control if not after the 1st baby, definitely after the 2nd...how do you keep birthing I a shitty marriage😭
DeleteHis character alone validates her mums assertion. Sometimes our parents see what we can’t.
DeleteSo many people have put mouth in this marriage. Stella and her blog visitors have put mouth. No secret again.,
ReplyDeleteStay seperate for some years, perhaps......
ReplyDeleteThis marriage needs professional intervention through seeing a therapist. This is a full scale derailment with all cars off track. If you are both willing, it can be resolved, but you all need to be on the same page.
Somehow, your mother seems to be connected to a lot of the instigating occurrences that cause these conflicts. I am not saying she is a bad person or an instigator, but it is odd that everything seems to come back to her and make her the common denominator. You love your mother, but that does not mean she is perfect or even a likeable person. Continue to be a good daughter, but be observant and aware. For whatever reason under the sun you chose to marry this man and make your own family with him. If you need time apart, then do a trial separation for 3-6 months to both get some rest. If after the set time you both want it, work on your home together and if you get your train back on track, handle your marriage like it’s your business that you built from scratch after that, make it precious, put a value on it, and protect it.
👍
DeleteThese issues aren’t stopping you from gbenshing as no3 don follow come. Clearly, you cannot stay away from each other
ReplyDeleteThey should give each other chance for now. Separation is ok. Marriage is not do or die. May God come through for married couples. Satan fights marriages and will use everything to not let couples have peace and love
DeleteYou keep painting your hubby and his family as terrible people, yet absolving your mum of her wrongdoings!! Your mum is not a nice person!
ReplyDeleteHer first time of meeting someone, and she tells them she hates their tribe. 😡
After the wedding, what stopped your mum and family from calling his (the hosts) to say they've arrived home safely? Have you never seen a host telling their guest to let them know when they've gotten home? Once the attendee sends the message, it's common practice to tell them you're glad they got home safe, and also use the opportunity to thank them for coming!
You come to your daughter who just gave birth for the first time's house, and you tell her you're leaving because you don't feel love in her home. What a lame excuse!! If she claims your husband in never home, shouldn't that be more reason for her to stay and help you out in taking care of her grandchild?
👍
DeleteHer mother did not feel love or wanted in her home due to her husband's attitude. Her mother is a human being.
DeleteKING XOXO MYSTERY
Yes the mother is very wrong. She should never have uttered that statement. Didn't she tell her mother about him before he came?. Poster did your mum ever apologise for that?
DeleteHer mother is the problem..
DeleteNo need to be politically correct, her mother is not a nice (I would prefer using "Not a good") person..
She's connected to every issues they're facing.
People always talk about mommy's boy forgetting we have mommy's girl too..
The guy is a SIMP,.
Mother in-law telling me such on the first day and wife doesn't defend me.. or later speak to her and ask her to apologize to me, then we're done✌️
Eka, how did you husband resolve the ish you were having with your mom in-law on your wedding day? You see what he did, it's why his mom has maintained her boundary and not cross it since you got married. That was what this lady was supposed to do to her mom, but she sat there smiling, and she's here giving excuses that her mom had bad experience with his tribe people, how's that his fault??..
I hate people that are tribalistic.. I doubt you can see any comment from me saying one tribe is better than another.. that shii irritates me.. that's the mistake our fathers made, it's why this country is the way it is, and it's more irritating that some of us are making that same stupid mistake, just look at the last election..
I hate talks about one particular tribe or religion better than others.. Nonsense..
She's a mommy's girl, so your mom is telling you she doesn't see love and you can't tell her that she's not the wife here.. you have known your husband since, you know he isn't a call people, you understand him, and love him that way, you also have things about you he is managing as no one is perfect, but you allowed your mother to come and be telling you how your husband is supposed to act as a loving husband. Your mom is troublesome, she must have been giving the poor man attitude, that's why he started coming home late, he even said he was sleeping on top of the fence outside to avoid your mom, and you call yourself a good wife..
If you like listen to the ladies supporting you here and calling your husband names, many of them are very bitter, very very bitter ladies who feel women supporting women mean coming together to insult men..
Bye✌️
I just taya, no emotional intelligence from her mum whatsoever.
DeleteHow do you saw that to the face of someone you are giving your daughter to and expect the best from him?
It's a thing to think that way, it's another ball game entirely to actually say it to a prospective inlaw's face that's downright rude and nasty.
To me, both mothers are at fault though, I'm sure they low key hate each other.
Dante
DeleteDid you not read where she defended her husband?
Defending her husband means nothing when the woman has eyes.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
You both should take it easy and learn to forgive one another. Yes,he/she has offended you, can you pls let go and move on. There's no perfect human on earth,we all have to endure if we must live as couples in a home.
ReplyDeleteThe devil knows marriage is beautiful and it was ordained by God himself when he saw man was alone and decided to create a woman who will live with him.i encourage you pray daily with your hubby and keep the Devil out.Also give room for communication and reduce the interference of third party into your home.
Your mum came for omugwo and decided to leave after just two weeks beacause your husband was'nt calling you😏😏...instead of calling your husband to have a talk and advice like a good mother in law would do, she decided to call her son that she's leaving😔😔...is her son the father of the baby??
ReplyDeleteYou two have no business in getting married cos there's no love between the both families and your mum set the precedence. If your mother in law didnt call for a whole year, why didnt your mum call??
Any marriage with too many third party will never work. As long as your mum dont like your husband and you both can't sit as adult to sort things out, it won't work.
Husband and wife is fighting.. Families are also fighting. This marriage get as e be... Who will step in to ease the tension. Everybody is angry at something.
ReplyDeleteDear Posters, take it to the Lord in prayer and go for couples therapy. You both need someone who's not mad at something to talk to and provide better counsel.
One of the things I have learnt about husband and wife matter is that you shouldn't take sides. Some say don't put mouth but when they come to you, as these ones have, then you should tell them the truth without taking sides.
ReplyDeletePlease these people are still interested but just too angry. The number of comments saying go your separate ways, I don't know how many married folks will say that people with 3 kids should go their separate ways.
Oga, for your own self respect, resist the urge to reply to this Chronicle. You are loosing further respect and believe me the BVs here will not comment. If you doubt, just try it. Only 10 people will leave a comment and they will grumble at the fact that you no dey tire???
I want to ask is the level of exposure (not necessarily education) your mom has. What about her own mom? The comments from these two women are the triggers of the crises. Not like they are constantly talking but the little they say lingers long. Secondly, are you the first child of either parents to marry? I mean are you the first son to marry? Is she the first daughter to marry?
Marriage is a school, the in-laws are behaving as they don't know that inlaw relationship Na small small they dey do am. If you put too much pressure, it's your child in the marriage that will get the heat.
Lady, please listen to the people who give you negative feedback in this. Oga husband listen to the people who give you negative feedback. Negative feedback makes us better.
Your marriage can still work. Every body just need to be ready to start again and forgive and leave outsiders outside.
To tell the truth, your (lady's) mom is wrong on several grounds
1. No need for tribal sentiments. 2. No need to come and be saying love, Na she go feel the love? 3. No need to expect call say hope you had a safe trip, even if you expect and they didn't , take it like that. Not to complain, it's just that she wants to still say they are not liked. That her observation is suspect and intentional. She's sowing seeds in your mind and that's what's the issue here. 4. You invited your sisters to come without asking your husband. You sef think am, its not proper and furthermore scary if money no too dey. You even had good grounds like loneliness and need for help. You'd Gould have used that instead of just deciding 5. Confronting your husband (or wife) in the presence of your mom Inside bathroom (when he naked,lol). You have taken sides oh. No let anyone deceive you oh, that's wrong. Even if a man do that, it's wrong. I mean Confronting spouse in the presence of outsiders. You don't know parents are outsiders? Ok, dey play.
Oga husband, good afternoon sir. How you go leave your wife wey just born. To go out next day. Ah, no let anyone hear that one o. People will not let their wife go to work, not to mention that you work in same place. Oga that's wickedness. And you dey house. No be say you dey somewhere. Even people who hate their wife will not let her go. You were probably annoyed but when quarell dey, try make if case is being settled, no harm will be found in you. A true test of love is being able to do things for the other person even if you are angry. Na wetin basket wife dey try tell us that time. Then few days after she go hospital, you balance for house.
2. How will you let your mom say that kind thing to your wife during omugbo. You suppose tell her say no oh. Mommy abeg. Na wetin make that girl for Instagram last week slap her mother in-law.
Oga you get better wife but una two need counselling and una need people wey una dey respect. Abeg which church una dey go. Who be una wedding sponsors. Please sir, don't think the tag of failed marriage is only on women oh. If your marriage pack up, Na una two oh. Behave well. 3. You no go come house until night. Comot for early morning. Who you dey do? If accident happen you go talk where you dey by that early or that late. Na she they go call o. Make we dey try do better both husband and wife. There's hope.
God, bless you for this comment🙏
DeleteYou finished work anon.
DeletePoster(s), this person has said it all
DeleteYou have said the absolute truth
DeleteWhat a chaotic family🤯😰
ReplyDeleteIn as much as the wife's mother was wrong to have made that statement about his tribe....from this chronicle now,she is right...if he had treated his wife better,I don't think it would get to this...
ReplyDeleteAbeg next time make una try put the tribe,so we go know😁😁😁
He just justified her initial thoughts
DeleteReading your chronicles I thought it was me. Am going through same thing and my husband is obsessed with painting me bad. If you have not been there you will never understand
ReplyDeleteSame here. People who haven’t been with narcissists will never understand. They fight you over everything, then try to turn it around on you. With those people, evil truly thrives in secrecy, so you have to speak up otherwise you’ll lose your mind! They push and push, withhold love and connection, are completely unforgiving and will insult and demean you constantly, but once you defend yourself, they say you’re evil. I’ve just separated from mine and my peace is back. They will frustrate you and until you speak up and leave, it won’t end. She made a mistake going back when he showed no remorse or real signs of change.
DeleteThis is so me!! I live in Canada and I have no joy or peace in marriage. The one who calls himself husband has a porous mouth and a wicked spirit but he lives in the church! He can go weeks to months without talking to me, he says I’m a rebel hence why he tortures me. The latest punishment is witholding sex and intimacy which almost killed me but I’m stronger now. If people say forgive how do you forgive a man who destroys you outside? Lies a lot, lives a dual life and punishes you in the home but is nice to people outside???? We also have 3 kids he is an only son who was spoilt and he believes you should take all the insults as that’s what makes you virtuous ( that’s the only verse he sees in the bible). He is a mommy boy and very unrepentant petulant child. So poster, I know you are saying the truth, it is my experience also.
DeleteGod I'm depressed from this back and forth 😫
ReplyDeleteHmmmm...why not defend ur husband immediately she made that statement in front of him?..that damage his self confidence and causes the dislikes for ur families...
ReplyDeleteUr mum was in his house and when she wants to leave she was calling her son,why?she saw what was going on why not call both of u and have a talk with u guys?why get ur brother involved?
Ur husband was also telling his mum mum everything that is happening in his home,why?...
If u guys want to work on ur marriage start with apologies and forgiveness,then visit each other mums together and apologize,stop getting ur families involved in ur marriage..
When I came home with my husband,my family doesn't like him,but u dare not say so to his face or mine because I will so defend him and remand u that he is my choice...now they respect him so much because of that act and knows how much he means to me..
Oh dear, I see lack of respect for each other hence the reason for this hitched marriage, husband wanting to dominate the wife by all means, wife wanting to prove her superiority. It's well.... 10%of respect can make a turn around for you guys.
ReplyDeleteThis is why I don't blame white people sometimes. They cannot come and kill themselves by themselves.
ReplyDeleteThe moment the partner's mother said I don't like you(people from your tribe includes your husband) they would dusted their slippers and never look back.
No matter the love blinding them, they still see clearly and unto the next they go. They breakup for things some would think inconsequential not matter how many years of dating or courtship because they suspect in the long run after marriage it will have a deadly effect. Even after marriage if they feel they married wrongly, they move on asap.
The foundation of your marriage was shaky from the start. The genesis of you marital issues started when your mother said she doesn't like your husband, his family without even waiting to meet them first. The husband would have told his family what she told him on his first visit because they knew he went to seek your hand in marriage. So they would have asked for feedback. Your mother sowed the seed of discord from that moment. After the wedding his family did not call to check if your parent had reached home because they couldn't be bothered to show care to someone who already made it known she doesn't like them so they didn't feel the need to show your family concern.
If your MIL told you as a lady that she hates your tribe would you love her and her family? Would your parent love her? Both families do not love each other. Simple!
Your husband keep sending chronicles upon chronicles and he still plans to send the third one. Come on guys! I couldn't even read through to the end because it is so long same with your husband 's story.
If you are sure you want your marriage to work. It is not hard.
Firstly, let your family both stop interfering in your lives. Stop carrying inside matter outside. If you keep doing this then you guys are not ready to have a working marriage.
Both of you must jeep to your part of the bargain.
Second. Sit each down and write things you loved about each other before the family's interference. What made you to fall in love with each and decided that against all odds it must be her and it must be him or no one else.
Third, Write down things you want your wife and husband to work on. Things that displeases you. Please these things should not be about your in-laws. Try and move on from that. Don't mention them. It is your marriage not your inlaws marriage.
The in-laws on both sides don't mention them. Just focus on yourselves.
Fourth, Forgive and forgive and forgive. Bury past grudges and move ahead. Ask for the holy spirit to help you.
Fifth, Work on your Romance. Say nice things to each other, appreciate each other and be kind to each other. Block outside noises from friends
It is not going to be easy but be intentional. Like I said it takes two to tangi. If only one person is doing it right. Your marriage still won't work.
I wish you well.🙏
Lol it’s not true
DeleteWhite people are very tolerant of this in law stuff
It’s you guys they marry the whole family that care what your mother in law said ten years ago
This guy should grow up please
This is why I don't blame white people sometimes. They cannot come and kill themselves by themselves.
ReplyDeleteThe moment the partner's mother said I don't like you(people from your tribe includes your husband) they would dusted their slippers and never look back.
No matter the love blinding them, they still see clearly and unto the next they go. They breakup for things some would think inconsequential not matter how many years of dating or courtship because they suspect in the long run after marriage it will have a deadly effect. Even after marriage if they feel they married wrongly, they move on asap.
The foundation of your marriage was shaky from the start. The genesis of you marital issues started when your mother said she doesn't like your husband, his family without even waiting to meet them first. The husband would have told his family what she told him on his first visit because they knew he went to seek your hand in marriage. So they would have asked for feedback. Your mother sowed the seed of discord from that moment. After the wedding his family did not call to check if your parent had reached home because they couldn't be bothered to show care to someone who already made it known she doesn't like them so they didn't feel the need to show your family concern.
If your MIL told you as a lady that she hates your tribe would you love her and her family? Would your parent love her? Both families do not love each other. Simple!
Your husband keep sending chronicles upon chronicles and he still plans to send the third one. Come on guys! I couldn't even read through to the end because it is so long same with your husband 's story.
If you are sure you want your marriage to work. It is not hard.
Firstly, let your family both stop interfering in your lives. Stop carrying inside matter outside. If you keep doing this then you guys are not ready to have a working marriage.
Both of you must jeep to your part of the bargain.
Second. Sit each down and write things you loved about each other before the family's interference. What made you to fall in love with each and decided that against all odds it must be her and it must be him or no one else.
Third, Write down things you want your wife and husband to work on. Things that displeases you. Please these things should not be about your in-laws. Try and move on from that. Don't mention them. It is your marriage not your inlaws marriage.
The in-laws on both sides don't mention them. Just focus on yourselves.
Fourth, Forgive and forgive and forgive. Bury past grudges and move ahead. Ask for the holy spirit to help you.
Fifth, Work on your Romance. Say nice things to each other, appreciate each other and be kind to each other. Block outside noises from friends
It is not going to be easy but be intentional. Like I said it takes two to tangi. If only one person is doing it right. Your marriage still won't work.
I wish you well.🙏
You are a true husband,, sir if she is telling the truth.
ReplyDeleteWhat elder saw sitting, if a young person climb the tallest tree , he or she will never see it. My dear lady and to everyone else, whenever your parents have any reservations about who you are getting married to. Please don't ever go ahead with the wedding. The chronicles goes a long way to prove the lady's mom right. Shalom.
ReplyDeleteMadam, after what he and his family has been showing you since you had your first child(according to you), you kept opening legs for him to have second child, now third child? Can't you do family planning? Even with your financial situation, you still dey nack raw.
ReplyDeleteYou no get sense.
Your horseband sef na yeye man. A simp that cannot manage his home, his family and his wife's family are managing his home for him. Ewu
Both of you should just go your separate ways.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteAnon don vex, he say na ewu(goat) the man be.
I'm just angry that the woman allowed herself to get pregnant for the third time after the shege promax that the man and his family allegedly showed her especially after she delivered her baby. Madam you no try.
ReplyDeleteAs for the man, na later in life your punishment go locate you for what you put your wife through now. She is bad, she is a prostitute, she is not respectful, yet you kept sleeping with her without protection. Did she drug you to sleep with her? Thunder fire that your blokos.
Go and settle yourselves or you separate.
Don't bring any chronicle reply here again o. If not I will send a bigger thunder to you. Mtcheeeeeeeew
I said it in the last chronicle, that this man is not receptive and lacks communication. There was something about the way he described the situation that reminded me of my mother's younger sister's husband. He was such an evil man. That woman did not benefit anything from 22 years of marriage.
ReplyDeleteMadam, the same way i told my mother to advise her sister to leave, is the same way i will tell you ''LEAVE''. This kind of men have lost their confidence and they will take you down with them.