Hmmmm.....
A SAD TALE ABOUT IN LAWS
FORGIVE ME FOR THE LOOOONG POST.
No right thinking man goes into marriage with a plan to have animosity with his in-laws. However, certain occurrences can render that relationship toxic that for sanity's sake, distance is imperative. Yes, I am a husband that has chosen to go no contact with my in-laws, my mother-in-law inclusive. I did make a chronicle last year narrating the events in my marriage. For lack of space, I won't go into those details now. A future chronicle will handle that.
Now the essence of my post is this. I do not relate with my mom-in-law not because I desire to. It was a situation forced upon me. From the first day I went to see her to let her know that I wanted to marry her daughter, and that was my first time of seeing her and even speaking with her, the first thing she told me was that she HATES my tribe! (I am Idoma from Benue state) and that she didn't know why out of everyone her daughter saw, it was an Idoma man she is bringing home. I was taken aback by that rather shocking welcome. I contemplated walking away there and then moreso that my then fiancee(now wife), simply sat in silence without uttering a word. Later in my marriage, I understood why.
When my mom-in-law came for Omugwo, I related nicely with her. Even before our wedding and after, I made it a point of duty to call her at least once a month. A week into her Omugwo, I sat her down and poured out my heart regarding the issues I was having in the marriage. I felt since it was her daughter, she'd be in the best position to straighten her daughter. I taught she took every thing I said with a desire to see change in the marriage. That was not to be.
A few days later, on an unrelated incident, she still vehemently mentioned how she hates my people. There was a time she went as far as threatening my mom. Simply because she felt that my mom did not give her and her guests a warmer of food during our wedding. However, it was the considered decision between me and my wife that we should hire a caterer for the wedding so that no family person will be involved in the cooking and everyone will be served. Of course the caterer was told to make a warmer of food available to my mom and that of my wife. In the heat of the day, I can't really say if that was done.
The period my wife gave birth was during corona. My business was down and I was living on debt. My wife stepped up with her resources. That was the root of my problem. Whether it was post partum depression or something else, the relationship between me and my wife kept deteriorating to the point that I was staying out and returning home just to make sure they have all slept(my sister-in-law was also around). Certain times, if I return and find out that they are still awake, I would simply go and sit on the fence around the compound. A number of times, I slept off, waking up around 11 or so. A particular day, I actually fell off the fence in my sleep. How I survived that night was a miracle.
Before our wedding, I had told my wife that I will not have my family nor her family coming to stay with us and she agreed. I made sure that I informed my family of my decision and they respected it. A few months into our marriage, my wifes sisters(2) moved in with us. I was just a young man struggling with business while also building a family(I knew my finances were not optimal and I kept pushing up the wedding date until my wife gave an ultimatum that if we are not wedded by a particular date, she will call off the relationship). She was of the opinion that God will come through for us.
For someone I love, I took the bold step. Yes, God came through. We single handedly funded our wedding. Few months later, corona set in and my business took a hit. I didn't see wisdom in feeding additional mouths in my home by way of in-laws. This became a crisis point between me and my wife. Ofcourse she told her sisters and her mom and the matter escalated. Few days later, her mom left without my knowledge. She left earlier than planned. I had even gone and borrowed money to give her for omugwuo thinking she was around. That period, I was learning an alternate business.
No right thinking man goes into marriage with a plan to have animosity with his in-laws. However, certain occurrences can render that relationship toxic that for sanity's sake, distance is imperative. Yes, I am a husband that has chosen to go no contact with my in-laws, my mother-in-law inclusive. I did make a chronicle last year narrating the events in my marriage. For lack of space, I won't go into those details now. A future chronicle will handle that.
Now the essence of my post is this. I do not relate with my mom-in-law not because I desire to. It was a situation forced upon me. From the first day I went to see her to let her know that I wanted to marry her daughter, and that was my first time of seeing her and even speaking with her, the first thing she told me was that she HATES my tribe! (I am Idoma from Benue state) and that she didn't know why out of everyone her daughter saw, it was an Idoma man she is bringing home. I was taken aback by that rather shocking welcome. I contemplated walking away there and then moreso that my then fiancee(now wife), simply sat in silence without uttering a word. Later in my marriage, I understood why.
When my mom-in-law came for Omugwo, I related nicely with her. Even before our wedding and after, I made it a point of duty to call her at least once a month. A week into her Omugwo, I sat her down and poured out my heart regarding the issues I was having in the marriage. I felt since it was her daughter, she'd be in the best position to straighten her daughter. I taught she took every thing I said with a desire to see change in the marriage. That was not to be.
A few days later, on an unrelated incident, she still vehemently mentioned how she hates my people. There was a time she went as far as threatening my mom. Simply because she felt that my mom did not give her and her guests a warmer of food during our wedding. However, it was the considered decision between me and my wife that we should hire a caterer for the wedding so that no family person will be involved in the cooking and everyone will be served. Of course the caterer was told to make a warmer of food available to my mom and that of my wife. In the heat of the day, I can't really say if that was done.
The period my wife gave birth was during corona. My business was down and I was living on debt. My wife stepped up with her resources. That was the root of my problem. Whether it was post partum depression or something else, the relationship between me and my wife kept deteriorating to the point that I was staying out and returning home just to make sure they have all slept(my sister-in-law was also around). Certain times, if I return and find out that they are still awake, I would simply go and sit on the fence around the compound. A number of times, I slept off, waking up around 11 or so. A particular day, I actually fell off the fence in my sleep. How I survived that night was a miracle.
Before our wedding, I had told my wife that I will not have my family nor her family coming to stay with us and she agreed. I made sure that I informed my family of my decision and they respected it. A few months into our marriage, my wifes sisters(2) moved in with us. I was just a young man struggling with business while also building a family(I knew my finances were not optimal and I kept pushing up the wedding date until my wife gave an ultimatum that if we are not wedded by a particular date, she will call off the relationship). She was of the opinion that God will come through for us.
For someone I love, I took the bold step. Yes, God came through. We single handedly funded our wedding. Few months later, corona set in and my business took a hit. I didn't see wisdom in feeding additional mouths in my home by way of in-laws. This became a crisis point between me and my wife. Ofcourse she told her sisters and her mom and the matter escalated. Few days later, her mom left without my knowledge. She left earlier than planned. I had even gone and borrowed money to give her for omugwuo thinking she was around. That period, I was learning an alternate business.
Since I don't believe that a man should be static and he should find alternate means of providing for his home when challenges arise. I would leave home early in the morning and return late at night because while my boss then didn't charge money for training, he demanded my utmost commitment in time and dedication. He starts teaching(catfish fingerlings breeding) by 6am. I put in my best and he was impressed with my progress. My wife raised initial seed money and we started production there at home.
During one of those classes, my wife's second brother called me and summoned me to Makurdi to come and see him. This is someone I am older than. I was wondering what the issue was until he said his mom called him and narrated things going on in my home. I was shocked and taken aback because I kept every event going on in my home away from the ears of family. I returned home that afternoon and met my wife, her sister and her mom discussing me right there in my living room.
During one of those classes, my wife's second brother called me and summoned me to Makurdi to come and see him. This is someone I am older than. I was wondering what the issue was until he said his mom called him and narrated things going on in my home. I was shocked and taken aback because I kept every event going on in my home away from the ears of family. I returned home that afternoon and met my wife, her sister and her mom discussing me right there in my living room.
I asked my wife if she was the one that called her brother and told him our issues and then her mom flared up on me. I simply told my mom-in-law that my issue was not with her but I do not appreciate matters in my home going to outside ears. She kept unloading on me telling me that she wants to have issues with me. I simply left the living room and went to take my bath. That's when my wife barged into the bathroom rained endless insults on me and said if not that she had pitied me and married me from a family of paupers, where will I have guts to be talking to her mom.
Her mom heard all these. I certainly am not from a family of paupers. I just choose to be a young man who is self reliant(My uncle is one of the top lawyers in this country and he represents Peter Obi right now, My aunty is a past deputy governors wife of Benue state, plus other well to do relatives. My family name is well known in Benue state; these are people I call regularly but I have never asked any of them for money and I don't need to).
Now, like I said, I didn't know my mom-in-law had left the home until the next morning I went to knock the door to appreciate her and give her a little sum but I found the room empty. I asked my wife of her mom and she said she had left. I called my wifes mom severally that day without her response. It was three days later that she picked.
Now, like I said, I didn't know my mom-in-law had left the home until the next morning I went to knock the door to appreciate her and give her a little sum but I found the room empty. I asked my wife of her mom and she said she had left. I called my wifes mom severally that day without her response. It was three days later that she picked.
She rained hell on me saying all manner of unprintable words. She even went as far as saying that her son's have houses and I who has no hope of ever building a house in my life, is telling my wife that I do not want her sisters around. Of course I knew I was wrong not noticing her absence right away. All my apologies fell on deaf ears. For months I kept pleading with this woman to no avail. I tried sending her money for Christmas, she rejected it. I never knew there was a plan in motion.
My wife arranged with her brothers close to 8 months later to come and carry her property from my home. They came and vandalized things in my home. One of the things they vandalized is an expensive equipment someone gave me to test run. I'm on the hook for over 400k for that machine at the moment.. This was after another woman convinced my wife to leave my home, that same woman snuck behind my wifes back to come and try to sleep with me. Luckily she never met me at home.
My wife arranged with her brothers close to 8 months later to come and carry her property from my home. They came and vandalized things in my home. One of the things they vandalized is an expensive equipment someone gave me to test run. I'm on the hook for over 400k for that machine at the moment.. This was after another woman convinced my wife to leave my home, that same woman snuck behind my wifes back to come and try to sleep with me. Luckily she never met me at home.
My wife painted a narrative to her brothers that I was a monster. She actually asked them to come and do what they did. Now here is the catch. The same woman who convinced my wife to leave the home, came and told me that what was the thing I saw in my wife? That why did I marry a half man/half woman? This same woman at a time told me to my face and my wife was there, that she is more beautiful than my wife and that my wife doesn't fulfill my s#xual needs. My wife was there smiling.
In conclusion, my wife and her brothers were standing on their grounds that I must go to Jos with my people to apologize to her mom and to redo marital rites again. I called my mom-in-law severally to intervene. She ignored my calls. My family were aghast at what kind of family I married into. They threatened to disown me if I ever stepped foot in Jos. I sat down after some months and I asked myself deep questions. Yes, my marriage was not perfect. None is. But nothing warrants the kind of drastic action my wife and her people took. My mom had even called my wife to find out what the issue was, my wife said I was staying out late. All my mom said was this is a matter that can be addressed. She asked my wife to always keep her in the loop.
In conclusion, my wife and her brothers were standing on their grounds that I must go to Jos with my people to apologize to her mom and to redo marital rites again. I called my mom-in-law severally to intervene. She ignored my calls. My family were aghast at what kind of family I married into. They threatened to disown me if I ever stepped foot in Jos. I sat down after some months and I asked myself deep questions. Yes, my marriage was not perfect. None is. But nothing warrants the kind of drastic action my wife and her people took. My mom had even called my wife to find out what the issue was, my wife said I was staying out late. All my mom said was this is a matter that can be addressed. She asked my wife to always keep her in the loop.
However, my wife in strong fear of her brothers, took the action she did. One of the brothers even threatened to come and kill my wife and I if she ever comes back to the house. I had never assaulted my wife, neither have I ever cheated on her. Yes, depression gets to a man and I stay out late. On occasion, I know I have used strong language on my wife in response to her untoward actions towards me. Actions I later got to know where engineered by her friends.
My wife is back home now. We have two kids and she is pregnant with the third. Upon her return, I told her I wanted a traditional home. I provide as the man, you play your part as the woman. It has remained a tall task for her and thats why I still prefer to spend my time outside, alone mostly. My business has picked up, I foot practically every bill in my home, any money I ask from her, I consider it a loan and I pay back. I don't ask her what she does with her money and I don't care. I do not call my inlaws. There will forever remain no need to. She doesn't call my mom either, I am fine with that.
My wife is back home now. We have two kids and she is pregnant with the third. Upon her return, I told her I wanted a traditional home. I provide as the man, you play your part as the woman. It has remained a tall task for her and thats why I still prefer to spend my time outside, alone mostly. My business has picked up, I foot practically every bill in my home, any money I ask from her, I consider it a loan and I pay back. I don't ask her what she does with her money and I don't care. I do not call my inlaws. There will forever remain no need to. She doesn't call my mom either, I am fine with that.
My mom was the one always calling her, until a time she deliberately refused to return my moms calls. This was after my mom had called me 2 weeks later to complain that my wife was ignoring her calls. I asked my wife why and she said was waiting for my mom to call her and explain why she was calling. I wanted to flare up but kept my cool. This was even when everything in the home was still fine and I was in good relationship with my inlaws.
My marriage is still not perfect, I'm 37, she is 32. We are 4 years in marriage. We are practically just together now for the kids. Do I still love my wife, yes I still do. However, only one party cannot keep working on a marriage. I am spent! I'm struggling to heal from all the trauma and I lose my cool at times. But if it is in-laws, HELL NO!
My marriage is still not perfect, I'm 37, she is 32. We are 4 years in marriage. We are practically just together now for the kids. Do I still love my wife, yes I still do. However, only one party cannot keep working on a marriage. I am spent! I'm struggling to heal from all the trauma and I lose my cool at times. But if it is in-laws, HELL NO!
WOW I pray you find healing..I am so shocked by what I am reading..My mum in law was not a saint but she would do everything to kake sure all her kids are happily married and stay so, she made extra efforts to intervene in everything and talk sense into everyone..So these kinds of stories about in law is shocking to me...
With everything that happened, why did you guys get back together?
ReplyDeleteWhy is there a third child in the mix? God help 🙏
DeleteGood question. Marriage is not by force.
DeleteThere is no marriage in heaven. No need to manage the way you are going.
Your wife is very immature. I'm not sure she was ready for marriage at the time you got married.
You need to walk away or get counselors to work on you people.
I wonder.
DeleteHe stated it in the Chronicle. They are back because of the kids.
DeleteCause he loves her and she can change
DeleteShe didn’t cheat or beat him
He loves her, even with all her fault
DeleteVery exhausting for one person to be making efforts to make sure a relationship works.
This made me sad, I just pray your wife grows up.
God abeg make my brothers no carry one ogbanje come house biko
Your wife is not ready for marriage. As for her family, all of them must not set foot in your house. As for mother-in-law forgerrit you are right on this account. You are not her child she should stay clear am so mad. If your wife no want to marry again let her go na cos she does not know what marriage is.
DeleteAnd in all thus you were still steadily procreating lolll.
Delete4 years marriage. 3 children.
Anyways, every story no matter how well written, always has 2 (or more) sides.
Me too I wonder. Why keep getting pregnant with such a shaky marriage. Very irresponsible
DeleteStory is disjointed. Can’t deal. Waiting for your wife’s side of story
DeleteZendaya
Why are you still having more kids to grow up in an abusive home thereby creating more monsters. 4 years and 3 kids already. How do you guys even enjoy love making. You both are immature and clearly have no respect for each other. In this case I only pity the kids. From day 1 once her mother made that statement you ought to have paused and after 1 kid you both should properly sort out issues before more kids.
DeleteI have slowly come to a conclusion about people; WHEN PEOPLE SHOW YOU WHO THEY ARE, THE FIRST TIME, BELIEVE THEM! I no longer give second chances, once is enough, you have seen all you need to see. From your first visit to her home and the Mum's hostile comment and her silence, you should have known you were walking into a toxic family and run away. 3 children in 4 years in this unhappy union, Oga but why???
DeleteWhere is the “abuse” in this story now??
DeleteThank you for your comment anonymous 16:31. Despite all that happened, including a threat to life. They still got back together and brought another child into this world. This story doesn't add up, but what do I know, and there are more than one side to it. Although you subtly accepted you played a role in the wahala that happened. Like someone said above, I really wish the children well and hope they get the love and care they deserve. Poster, you and your wife are the author of you problem. It's obvious someone doesn't want to be in the marriage. In addition to the fact that it's a marriage of 4 years with 3 children already. If you suspected your wife may have had Postpartum depression as you have mentioned. It means she didn't get a chance to heal from this or get help before she gave birth to another child. You two didn't resolve your marital issues as well. This is a tough one, no matter how good you like to paint it. Please know that it takes two to tango. More so, create a moment of genuine happiness for yourself and wife, no matter what it takes to do so. At least for the sake of your children. May God help you, your wife, your children and other members of your family.
DeleteHian! God abeg oh make we no jam agbako
ReplyDeleteSorry poster if all you have listed is the truth, but a part of me still feels you both handled things in a childish manner, so I am going to advice you on how you should have handled things…
DeleteFirstly, you said she gave birth and you don’t know if she fell into depression, well let me break it to you that not every woman recovers mentally from giving birth.
Yes her mother is very tribalistic but I expected you to understand that she may have had her own personal issue with your tribe which turned her to who she is.
Patience should have been employed in most of this situations, you mentioned your sister in-laws coming over, yes your wife was silly of bringing her sisters without confirming from the man of the house, but I never heard you make mention of getting her a help after giving birth, she probably brought in her sisters for extra help (I am not making excuses)
Your in-laws handled the issue poorly, and seem very terrible but you all lacked, patience, understanding and proper communication.
Rather than talk to your better half, you stayed out late giving the barrier for her to seek solace in the midst of “outsiders” who don’t have your best interest at heart.
I think you should forgive your mother inlaw being that their child is still in your care, but let there be boundaries, (no visitations)
If you love your wife, seek counseling, and make it work, communicate, pour out your hearts… if you are however just staying for the kids then please go your separate ways… I don’t believe in managing a loveless marriage cus the kids you are trying to save do not learn how to love, they become cold and rigid adults whose partners end up suffering.
Go your ways and give yourselves chance to heal and love again also allow her work if you intend leaving her in the future, so she will have a means of income when she’s alone.
Please think deeply.
Shalom
Push up (original)
Hmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteThe most complex B
Guy it’s either you’re stupid or you’re not telling us the entire truth. Which is it?.
Delete3 children, 4 years married and your wife was away for a while …..time for family planning
ReplyDeleteI shock 🤯.. 3 children in 4 yrs with all the wahala happening in the marriage.
DeleteMay Jesus heal you.
You can manage a bad wife but bad in-laws is doom.
ReplyDeleteNa wah ooo.. How do one heal and move on from this sort of ordeal. Will the marriage ever be loving again. A lot of hurtful things said and done.
ReplyDeletePóster it is well with you.
I did not read everything you wrote but reading the few lines alone, all I can say is, you caused it.
ReplyDeleteBefore you got married on your first visit your future MIL told you to your face that she hates your tribe, yet you went ahead with the marriage.
Your tribe in this case involves not only you but your parents and relatives. She insulted every member of your family including your ancestors but you could not walk over so she can give her daughter to her tribe's people
The younger brother called you, someone you are way older than he wants to see you and you went over.
You and your wife both agreed not to bring your families over, you kept your promise but she did not keep to her side of the bargain.
I honestly do not think there would be a day that I will agree with Dante but on this one. You are a Simp!
Thank you. Even me as a woman if any in law had said that rubbish about my tribe I would have left immediately. Na you cause the disrespect and the fact that you are still together and have three more kids makes me suspect your story. All this nonsense from one person and you still stayed with her? Except you enjoy toxicity in your life I really don’t understand. Would love to hear from your wife too.
DeleteLast post, I was among those that said you should not allow her return, she has returned, you don give am belle, yet you are not happy, still sending chronicle, guy... You'd definitely burnout before your time. Will you send a future chronicle? With your last paragraph, I'd say HELL YES!
ReplyDeleteSo you remember the old chronicle? But why did he change the details?
DeleteKING XOXO MYSTERY
I think I commented that she shouldn't be allowed to return.
DeleteShe don even get belle again sef.
You guys should seek counsel.
Wow! What did I just read. Na life sentence marriage this one be. A pity you followed through on a marriage where the future mil told you she hated your people. Wisdom is profitable in all things, the moment you heard that, not just once and no apology, you should have bounced. Then someone saying your wife is basically an ogre, half man half woman, what a mess🤦🏾♀️
ReplyDeleteMay God give you peace.
I believe I read this same story on this blog sometime in 2021/22. So, you took her back and you two are even bringing more children into this hostility? Na couples wey dey live in love we dey jinja to have more kids, not those in a Russian-Ukrainian relationship.
ReplyDeleteLet me tell you for free that your inlaws and even your wife are not your problem; you are too SIMPle which is why they are all taking you for granted (if your narrative is totally honest, that is). You both agreed none of your relatives would live with you and your family complied but hers came and and you allowed 3 of them stay at once (minus her mom's Omugwo duties). Someone disses your ethnicity/tribe to your face and you didn't let them choose a suitable man from their own ethnicity for their "diamond" daughter? She quick see her tribal billionaire man marry na im she reach your hand? Make dem dey hype akara as corporate small-chops there😂🤣.
First lesson in relationships or marriage: nobody is doing you a favour by dating or marrying you. If they had a "better" choice, it wouldn't be you. Simple. Make una continue to dey in marriage "for the children" o. Advice ya kari because this chronicle be like e go still reach Season 8🙄. Peace be upon you and your home sir😒.
Dear Poster…I like the fact that you are committed to your marriage…please marriage is about compromise and forgiveness. Forgive your wife, your in laws and start all over with the experience you have had in the past. Please your stance on having a traditional home cannot be maintained. Assist your wife in raising the children (not just providing)…assist in the home also…if you have the money..pls see a marriage counsel. You need to have a loving home and this is very possible despite all that has happened.
ReplyDeleteMchewww! It's people like you that make people die in bad marriages. With their hope preaching.
DeleteWell said 15:40, don't mind these tigbuo zogbu people commenting without knowing the meaning of marriage especially when children are involved. Poster you stated that you still love your wife. Please work on your marriage, communicate with each other, tell your spouse where you are hurting, get marriage counselling if you can. If after everything your wife refuses to change for better, which i believe she will change because she did not sound like a wicked person in the chronicle she sent in. Then get separated and co-parent peacefully and respectfully. Stop abusing your wife verbally as you stated above, it leaves a negative impact on the children. Your wife needs alot of growing up to do. Oh she's pregnant! Poster take care of her, she doesn't need all these back and forth chronicles at this stage, she needs tender love and care no matter what.
Delete@Tiana, it's people like you that break marriages that could have been worked on and have happy endings. Rubbish talk, like we all don't have misunderstanding/fight with our loved ones (siblings, mothers, fathers etc) and still make up. The truth is that most of you don't know the true meaning of love much more experiencing it. Love makes all things easy.
Delete*17:25 four years in marriage and 3 children. It simply means this woman has never been herself completely since she got married, she's been dealing with pregnancy hormones and postpartum depression back to back. Obviously she will not make good decisions on many matters regarding her marriage and poster does not sound like who really knows how to take care of a woman. If you have never experienced pregnancy hormones and post-partum depression don't judge this poster's wife, just give advice and move.
DeleteWow... sometimes I wonder if it the same marriage I'm into...like I have a very good relationship with all my in-laws...
ReplyDeleteWhy discuss ur marriage with ur families? it's always doesn't end well,
Lack of respect for each other always causes things like this..
I really pray both of u can heal and move on from all this pain and focus in building ur home,all these people will leave but u guys will remain together...
How many times will you send this chronicle?
ReplyDeleteYou will twist it different times but it is still the same.
I ask you, how many times will you send this chronicle? My wife this, my wife that.
Work on your character. Respect your inlaws but stop them from camping in your house. They visit and go. Stop chasing and flirting with women. Improve on yourself. Stop beating and insulting your wife and stop waiting for your wife to carry 90 percent responsibilities.
Let me look for the link for the old chronicle.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
You can just misyarn. Gosh, you just sit on you hypocritical and judgemental seat and accuse people of things you have assumed and hoped to be true.
DeleteYou are always doing this. Know it all. And you'll be speaking with confidence about what you are ignorant of.
I have read his comment about his marriage, he didn't change the content, he just gave details now.
Now that the woman is bad, nothing to say abi. Of course, the man is at fault
Na your way, the man must be wrong always.
DeleteAnonymous
DeleteMechionu iberibe
Read the first chronicle first. Why did he twist the narrative? He is telling lies.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
16:06 please tell, what makes the woman bad? The poster clearly is not matured enough to handle a woman, hence has no business getting married just yet. Yes, his wife has a lot of growing up to do but comon that woman has only been married for 4 years with 3 children. Basically she has been dealing with pregnancy hormones and postpartum depression back to back without help from her husband as can be seen in his chronicles. Obviously she will not make good decisions on matters regarding her marriage. Which real man leaves his home to sleep outside to the extent of falling over the fence. What a simp! See how he is sending chronicles back and forth with his pregnant wife. Poster i do feel sympathy for how you feel but that doesn't make you right, you and your wife need to have heart to heart talk, forgive each other and look for a way forward. No marriage is perfect but when it becomes toxic and both parties are not ready to respect one and another and fix it for better, then it's time to go your separate ways.
DeleteWhy are u people raising kids in this kind of dysfunctional union. This kind of mother in law ehn, I can only imagine the kind of shege her daughters in law are seeing if she can treat her son-in-law like this. The moment she left ur home, you should have been thankful except there’s something u are not saying. That union should have died that day. Don’t know why u went to bring her back.
ReplyDeletePoster, there's something you must be enjoying in that union you are yet to talk about and the result is glaring; 3 kids within 4 years even with the break.
ReplyDeleteHow long will you continue to manage a bad marriage for? do you have extra life kept somewhere which you will use to enjoy later on? you're living for her, love is meant to be mutual.
I doubt if you're doing the kids any good with the kind of marriage you described because you need to be on your toes to avoid her family wahala
Felicity
I don't have time to type too much but Mr Man I have a question for you. Why on earth did you get back with this woman and her family? God delivered you the first time but you were not grateful you went to bring back problem in to your life
ReplyDeleteIn all this, you guys are still having sex and bringing kids into a toxic home.
ReplyDeleteYour wife conveniently lied about a lot of things to gain sympathy.
Truth is this marriage is not working, make Una separate.
Your wife is not mature at all. Always running to her family, discussing issues that should not even go out.
Imagine the nerve of your brother Inlaw ordering you to go over to his....someone you are even older than. Oga, you are too soft honestly.
And as for your wife, she is a huge disappointment.
Clearly, her family wants to be in charge of your home and in a way, you have given them that power.
These in-laws of yours will someday poison you through your wife or send people to kill you. Your wife cannot be trusted, she is a wicked woman.
Your mates are protecting their homes, you are conniving with your family to ruin yours.
If you want to live long, better detach yourself from this family.
Sluttychic.
Oga read slutty's comment and follow.
Delete
Delete@ Sluttychic, That was one side of the story, till you hear from the wife.
@ Sluttychic, That was one side of the story, till you hear from the wife.
Delete@ Sluttychic, That was one side of the story, till you hear from the wife.
Delete@ Sluttychic, That was one side of the story, till you hear from the wife.
DeleteWhen the Post runs like this, we always need to hear the other side.
DeleteHonestly, having a partner who do not want to make a relationship work is the worst thing that can happen to anyone. They sit with their nose up high, feeling like royalty, the best thing to happen to you. You'll have to beg for everything, explain and sacrifice yourself yet it will still not be enough.
ReplyDeleteyyou see this inter tribal marriage where one party hates the other will drain you. I was in a relationship like that. Up to introduction my uncles said they didn't like my partner's tribe. I was hurt, and I intentionally kept it from my partner. They kept frustrating all our plans. We eventually parted ways, not necessarily because of that, but because of this same thing your wife is doing. I AM THE PRICE. Hello? We all are,we are a team.
See, your wife has this attitude that she's better than you. Truth is, I won't marry into a family where the immediate ones don't like me (my person, tribe, faith etc), they tell it to my face, my partner sits pretty smiling to such hate speech? God forbid.
Sometimes, this we have come a long way is our undoing. Long time and so? if your mother had heard about this from the start trust me, you wouldn't have been neck deep.
Bottom line: Get out. Before you kill yourself. No matter what you do, she'll never see your worth.
Omo, marry who fit defend you for this life Abeg.
Hmm this is too much na.
ReplyDeleteNa wa o.
May you heal, am day you both find your way back to a happy couple and home again.
Na Wah! Is it by force to be in this marriage? I see no love nor respect in it, this marriage be giving blood covenant vibes. Y'all cant live without each othe? Ride on. More chronicles loading in your forever to go.
ReplyDeleteIf you have good in-laws especially mother in-law you don’t know what God has done for you. My own mother in-law was constantly collecting money from my husband’s ex and promising her that her son must marry her. She told the lady never to mind me that I’m just wasting my time. One time she was on a call with this lady I walked in without her notice, if you hear the conversation you will cringe! Immediately she noticed my presence she ended the call and started showering me praises how I’m the best daughter in-law in the world. This woman told my husband to start beating me, that I’m messing up because he doesn’t beat me. I had to insist we move out of the family house even if it’s to go live a room apartment, that was my greatest crime and she came out in full force and promised to deal with me for taking away her son. This son of her was living alone before we met oo, it was relocation that made us go live with in a family house. I will never call her line in this life and that’s final.
ReplyDeletei think i have read this before
ReplyDelete"Her mum, my mum, Her mum ,my mum"..... What???
ReplyDeleteYou two are not mature to handle family issue. Just minor issue you guys will be contacting the whole family members.
Once disrespect sets in ,constant quarrel follows.
Man up, sit your wife down, have a serious talk with her and find out why she hates your people and what's actually her problem.
"Her mum, my mum, Her mum ,my mum"..... What???
ReplyDeleteYou two are not mature to handle family issue. Just minor issue you guys will be contacting the whole family members.
Once disrespect sets in ,constant quarrel follows.
Man up, sit your wife down, have a serious talk with her and find out why she hates your people and what's actually her problem.
You need God's help and wisdom when dealing with in-laws.They are the major reasons most marriages break up. But seriously, your wife needs to keep her family away for some time so both of you can rekindle the love again because of those innocent kids of yours.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteThis one tire me
This chronicle sounds very familiar but some details have been changed. I wonder what’s the actual truth.
ReplyDeleteThe wife relied that chronicle.
DeleteIf it is the same marriage, the wife will surely reply except she she has given in or given up on the marriage.
Marriage is not by force, it is not prudent to enter into a family where you are not accepted.,
ReplyDeleteI have seen people do this, and it never ended well.
There were signs you should not have gone ahead with this.
My inlaws treat me as their own son, they even think I am a vey good husband to their daughter....lol.
But when we were getting married they, brought up an issue, I repespecfully told them, I will be calling off the marriage, if they insist on their position. Na so we settle.
Madam, if you are reading this, grow up. See if you mess up, you see those your brothers, they will not help you take care of yourself and children. They will see you as a big burden, including your dear mother. You better pipe down and protect your husband. He is your crown. No one is perfect but your own too much. Na wa for you madam.
ReplyDeleteOga, you see that family, continue giving them space. Restrict them from coming to your house. And if she leaves again, divorce her. Let her go and marry her brothers and mom. Your only responsibilities should be your kids.
Gain your respect back.
Madam, continue misbehaving o, a lot single, and well respected ladies will take your place. No be say, your family na dangote.
Wow poster. What a story.
ReplyDeleteIt is never good to discuss your marital issues with anybody. It is hard not to, especially for women, I know. But most times, it is best resolved between husband and wife + God. When you start listening to other people and applying or comparing what they say, you are in for it because every single human being is different so is every marriage/union. What applies to one does not apply to the other.
I completely agree that a young marriage should not have interference from family members. No live-in in-laws. They should leave the young couple alone to enjoy their marriage, get to learn about and love each other, creat and form a bond. This is key.
I must commend you for your noble acts of taking charge of your responsibilities as the head of the household. May God bless your efforts, heal you and bring your wife to her senses.
I understand that by telling your wife that you want a traditional home, that must have been the condition you gave her. But I implore you to rethink this. I know you are still very much unhappy about the stunt her and her family pulled. Think of it from another angle: spending time with your children. Children grow up really fast.
I don’t want to just into any other conclusions since I am not 100% sure what you mean by “tall order” for your wife.
Would counselling help the both of you, to move forward and have a more balanced home?
No Comment till I hear from the other party. 🤐
ReplyDeleteLol..
ReplyDeleteShebi I gave example of my marriage friend and his in-law, about how from when he went to make his intentions known, of marrying their daughter, the parent, especially the father began to try frustrating his efforts, they billed him like crazy and they chop blocking after wedding Lol, my guy no get time..
The difference between his and yours was that his wife fought her family for him,. She was ready to cut off all her family just to be with him..
If she had acted like your wife, e sure me say my guy no go marry am..
There is this girl I liked, her momsi became is my friend, still is, so there was this time I visited the momsi and she was talking about how all her kids must marry close by, say she no want far place, like say na village the kids go live or na trek she go dey trek go see them before,. As she just said that, I don kukuma cancel every intentions and likeness I had for the daughter jeje.. as I no be Anambra boy😂 I no fit shout..
Funny thing she might be expecting me to make the move on her daughter, but I don already see her mindset.. I no want future problems..
So Bros, as regards this your wife and in-law, if I talk wetin dey my mind e go be like say I wicked.. but Bros, you no get wife oh..
Most of them that come here forming victims are actually the aggressors.. imagine her bringing her sisters to live with your guys after you already had an understanding not to.. me I go just bounce the two babes out of my house sharply.. no time for SIMPing.. if anyone ask, I go tell them say I no want make tomorrow one babe go dey talk say I attempt to touch am or say I dey peep am for bathroom as she dey baff..
You were SIMPing bro, and that's the truth of the matter
Oga you want to die of depression cos you have children with a particular woman? I don't know why you both came back together. You should have allowed her stay in her father's house while you look for someone to love you.
ReplyDeleteYour wife doesn't love you, her family should be far away from you. I pray you heal faster.
I am not sure, you have said the entire truth here. This story sounds incomplete. You and your wife, do not sound mature enough to be married. You sleeping outside, when you and your lover fights? Your wife reporting to everybody.
ReplyDeleteBoth of you need to sit down, apologize to each other genuinely and start over. No marriage is without occasional fight or problems. But the key to a successful union, is Communication, tolerance and forgiveness. May God help you o
Poster, your wife needs to stop discussing you with her family and start defending you to them, truth be say dem don see you finish, they know you didn't have money, she was wrong to bring her sisters when you guys were struggling financially. I'm happy you both want to work it out, as soon as she gives birth, do family planning and rediscover yourselves again, keep her family members away from you abeg, their own no good. All the best.
ReplyDelete