STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SERIOUS ADVICE NEEDED
Good day my SDK family, … Stella please post it for me, you will not understand….my EX girlfriend called me yesterday that she is coming to the state I base, for interview and she will spend just 5 days according to her, and she don’t have any place to stay and i am her only hope…
Why am I posting?
• Am single and staying alone
• She is in a very serious relationship, they have done introduction…
She is a very good person to me , when we were dating…I don’t regret dating her and its same to her
…..WHAT SHOULD I DO……….
Can you get someone to stay with you for the period of when she will be around so that there will be no temptations?
Otherwise book her a hotel to stay if you can afford it...Or you just say no outrightly.
Just say no. You have really valid reasons which you can list out to her. Abeg, just say no.
ReplyDeleteGoat and yam no dey stay together.
DeleteYou can leave your house for her to stay, squat with someone (guy).
Or
You can bring in a friend, your sister/cousin or church member to come stay in the house during that period.
High tension temptation and weather dey cold this season.
Flee from temptation.
Tell her your mother is around for a while and will be here for like three months. Don’t even book any hotel for her because temptation will come a calling that you abandoned her. Please stay clear of Temptation 🙏
DeleteThis is very simple, Poster, let her rent or book a hotel or Air B N B. Abi una don discuss how you go lash her otele **side eyes at Kevin** abi na Okafor's law.
ReplyDeleteTalk true do you want to scratch the long itch...This is not about good girl... The bible says ''Flee from all forms of temptation.''
All the best..
A lady who is engaged to be married is begging to stay in a single man's house?! She must be very mad.
ReplyDeleteInform her to tell her fiance to call you to make this request. If the fiance calls you and confirms he's fine, go ahead.
Do you have another place for her
DeleteJob is not easy to find
She can’t just turn it down
15:43 if the Ex was not in that town what would she have done? She shud do it now.
Delete16:54 he’s in town
DeleteAnon 15:10👏🏾great advice.. have her tell the fiancé to call. Flee temptation. You sound like a Gidfearing person, don’t allow her pull you into her scheme.
DeleteLet her speak to her fiancée and let them pull resources together for her to lodge on a hotel.
ReplyDeleteExactly!
DeleteIt’s pool
DeletePoster don't oh. She's already married with that introduction.
ReplyDeleteWhy must it be the place of her ex?
You truly cannot shame the shameless and some women have no shame.
Poster she’s the one engaged, not you. Allow her to come and if any nonsense you chop her and clean mouth. I’m your Gee for life!
DeleteFan Emmanuel
The best advice so far. If she is willing to come and stay, why are you worrying yourself. Guy do the needful abeg
DeleteNa kpekus trap you dey call chop 'clean mouth'? She knows eggzactly what she is looking for. My guy, you dodge a bullet by not wedding her. Please continue dodging the trap.
DeleteSince u said she was very good to you when u dated, if u have friends u can perch with while she’s there, u can take that option. If u can lodge her in a hotel comfortably, that’s another option. The third option is to say ‘no’ and believe me, this also does not make u a bad person. For no reason should you stay in the house with her for the 5 days she will be there.
ReplyDeleteIf u are going to let her use her place, kindly have her inform her fiancé about what is going on.
This is my thought
DeleteThank you
Hide private things and give her the key to stay while she’s around. You go stay with friends or family
I wouldn’t refuse to help her because the job market is very tight right now
Get someone to stay with you through out her stay,it's not even because of temptation alone anything can happen.
ReplyDeleteThen ask her if she informed her fiancee that she will be staying at your place,if she said no, please don't accept.
But if you can afford to pay for her hotel bills that would have been the best.
She has done introductions, her fiance cannot give her money to stay in a hotel if she has broke.
ReplyDeleteWould she permit the person she intends to marry to stay at his ex girlfriends place.
If she has block head, must you also have as well?
Afi, what should I do ', you be smoh pikin??
You had better call her and tell her that it is not possible.
Simple.
He may not have money pls
DeleteDon't mind her.
Delete@ poster,na set up be dat ooo.. After the five days of ovulation and nackadamus now,she go carry your seed go give her husby as him first child.
Nor agree biko.
15:45, he has no business getting married if he can't afford ordinary hotel bill
DeleteYou can sleep over at a friend's place until she takes her leave.. Give her long rope.
ReplyDeleteMy brother to avoid temptation pls book hotel for her if you have money but if you don’t,allow her to stay in your apartment and look for somewhere else to stay.
ReplyDeleteShe needs to stay five days for an interview? And what if you were dead or out of the country, she wouldn’t have no other place to stay? See how ppl knowingly play with fire and use all kind of excuses as cover, then they send all kinds of chronicles lamenting their “shock” and “they don’t know how it happened” Mtsscchhwww
ReplyDeleteThe interview may be more than one day
Delete5 days for interview? Ok o😄 Some women sha. Bro, you owe her nothing, don't even book hotel for her. You can vacate your apartment so she can stay, but then... Why all the stress over an Ex? If you had a GF, would she be happy that you're catering for your ex?
ReplyDeleteClearly you are not comfortable with the idea, ask her how her boyfriend feels about her spending 5 days with her ex, tell her since she is in a serious relationship you don't think it's okay for her to stay with you.
ReplyDeleteNa from clap e dey enter dance
This is all shades of wrong
ReplyDeleteBook a hotel for her instead
Ok bye!
Let her stay with your female neighbor or friend.
ReplyDeleteFelicity
Allow her after all she was good to you when you were both dating. Hook her up with a female friend or leave your apartment while she stays there for 5 days. One good turn deserves another. If u guys were not intimate when u were dating I see no reason y u should not allow her.
ReplyDeleteI stayed at an ex's when I went to Lagos for my ICAN introduction. It was cordial, just like staying with a cousin. It's all in the mind.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, I could afford a hotel; however, it was more cost effective for me at the time.
If his intentions (and hers) are pure, he shouldn't read meaning to it.
I was there for about a week, I never wore any provocative outfit, no bum short , no tank top, nothing body hugging nor revealing.
**induction (auto correct)
DeleteYou strong o.
DeleteMe I can't.
Even if I wear mary amaka.
Ok if I trust myself not to do the seducing I don't trust my ex, infact the ex I'm cordial with is a no go area cos you know why....
It will just be like starting from where we stopped
I once went to an ex house to pass few days cos I was attending an interview.
DeleteIt didn't matter that his mom was in the flat we still gbenshed.
And yes that time he was dating his gf who he married.
This ex is the only guy I can't trust myself around, even now that he is married whenever he starts gisting toward us hanging out I always decline with a resounding NO.
Saying it won't happen is story story.
And if I hated you as an ex I can't be in your house for any reaso
Aunty! Are you about to get married or are you married. Please call a spade a spade. If your man does the same it's your kind that'll go online and rant men are scum.
Delete15:58, u r not him, he is not u. Since he wrote in about it, it means it is an issue for him. The fact that it wasn’t for u doesn’t mean that it is nothing. Afterall the post is about him not you.
Delete16:41; 16:59
DeleteYou don't have to be uncultured with your response.
I gave my narrative. You can give yours politely.
The poster knows his strengths and level of morality. He'd definitely do what's best for himself and his peace of mind.
18:00, i’m 16:59, read what u wrote that if his intentions are pure, he ‘shouldn’t read meaning to it’, yet u went ahead to say ‘he knows his level of strength and morality.’
DeleteSo what m saying is, it is because he ‘knows his level of strength and morality’ that is why he wrote in for ADVICE, not ur narrative or how you wore unprovocative clothes to stay in ur ex bf’s house.
Brother this na temptation.
ReplyDeleteDid you ask her if her man is aware of her plans? I bet she didn't tell.
Cos no man will allow it.
Maybe you can get a female friend/sister she can stay with.
As much as we would all like to believe in our self control, there's always the tendency of a victorious temptation. It all depends on you really. Seems like in your mind, you've already made a decision but you're seeking validation and trying to play devils advocate with whatever advice you'll receive here.
ReplyDelete1. You can say no because I've never heard of a 5 day interview.
2. If she's such a good friend to you, rather than stay with you, you can search for affordable hotels so she can stay for the 5dys. She pays or her man pays .
3. You can make her let you speak with her man to be sure he's ok with the whole arrangement. Of course he wouldn't. It's absurd
4. You can stay with your friend for the week while she uses your apartment and then return after you're sure she's done. While returning go with your friend so you don't fall into any trap
Whatever you do sha just make sure you're not alone with her because it seems to me there's still feelings and sparks between you two. Don't be a victim of goodbye sex.
You once dated her and there's every possibility of you being tempted. Do you have a fiancee or can you get a female friend or your sister who can stay with you till when she leaves,this will prevent you from being tempted.
ReplyDeleteAbeg, it is not only about temptation.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the husband to be position.
Some men will not agree.
And if done behind them, will not be happy about it if they ever get to know. Or will Poster's ex lie she stayed in an hotel if asked? What if that lie will provoke more questions and issues over money. Will there be more lies?
Poster, give her full or part hotel money or arrange for any of your female colleagues at work to help you accommodate her. Just remember to provide groceries support in cash or kind for your colleague who help out.
Some of the female Bvs saying let her stay in your apartment without you or with you and another person WILL not let their fiance try any of both options with an ex-lover.
What should she do
DeleteSkip the job and be a burden after the marriage?
That’s if he marries her
18:26
DeleteShe does not have to stay with an ex.
Her man should man up. I wan marry no be by mouth. Let him look for some money for hotel or ask his contact/town people/old school friends for safe accommodation help in a decent household the interview State. This type of matter never used to be a challenge in Nigeria of the 80s.
Poster also deliberately did not say if he is in a relationship. If he is, would he be free to ask his current partner to come stay with them?
Just say NO that it is not safe for the both of you. You can suggest safe and affordable guesthouses for her to choose from. Don't be that man that will father the first child of another man. Remember Nedu the AOP!
ReplyDeleteWhere is the money
DeleteDear poster, do I sense a tint of excitement from the tone of your writeup or am I projecting because I'm in an exceptionally good mood? I apologise if the latter is the case.
ReplyDeleteYou've already laid the foundation why this is an imprudent idea. You dated, you guys have history. I'm guessing you guys parted on good terms, hence the cordial relationship. She's spoken for, which makes this situation ripe for convoluted mess! An overnight sleepover is risky enough, let alone 5 days. Never underestimate the power of sexual attraction between exes. In all honesty, you may feel you can handle it but you may never really know how you would react to her being in close proximity with you for an extended period. The infamous dopamine rush has been responsible for many- a- bad decisions.
What if this is her way of having you one last time before the final "I do"? Have you thought about that? It's more common than you may realise. Some ladies who still have residual or potent feelings for an ex, would like to have one last "stint" as a final goodbye. One reason why a lot of firstborns have indistinct paternity issues.
Let's turn the tables, shall we? Would you be comfortable with your fiancée spending 5 days at her ex lover's? There you go...
You obviously still have a soft spot for her, that's why your thoughts made it here as a narrative. I wouldn't even advise you to let her in while you move out, unless you will not show up till she leaves. All it takes is an unguarded moment, you showing up to see if she's okay is enough for things to go awry. Seek an alternative accommodation for her or let her know that it's not a good idea and politely decline. I hope you do the right thing, even if it's not the easiest. Goodluck!
e-hugs.
Very BIG THANK you @Ronalda.
Delete👍👍👍
DeleteWell said! You said my mind: what if she wants him one last time before saying I do.
DeleteHow would she even be asking to stay with you? I never understand her plan o
ReplyDeleteWhat will her fiancé say about this type of plan?
Poster, you dey find trobo. Daz all.
ReplyDeleteSo Many And Woman no fit dey same house again ? na joke ooooo
ReplyDeletePoster to avoid had I known, like many have said here, get a 3rd party to stay with you guys or leave the place for her for that period.
Book a hotel for her hell NO !!!
Avoid all the avoidables👌
Poster I think you sayibg yes to her needs is been foolish .. see the stress ontop ex wey get husband again..this babe no rate you self..and you no wan wise..tell her no..you owe her nothing she should go meet her husband.
ReplyDeletePoster you said they have done introduction? Let's say she is married. Did she tell her husband that she is coming to your house to stay for days?
ReplyDeleteWhy’s everyone saying he should get a hotel or an alternative shelter for her? Why should he? Her husband-to-be should figure that out jor.. Poster, decline politely and firmly..
ReplyDeleteBv Yosola
You are a very good man, may God continually bless you. The Bible says we should flee from all appearance of the evil. Politely turn her down please.
ReplyDeleteI will assume that her fiancee is in the loop of this arrangement?
ReplyDeleteOr is it that our husband inview is impotent and have give our wife inview a go ahead to get our baby from anywhere
ReplyDeleteTell her your girlfriend is coming to visit you.
ReplyDeleteWHAT EVER YOU DO, DON'T ALLOW HER SET FOOT IN YOUR HOUSE. She knows exactly what she is doing. Be careful with her before you end up fathering a child/ children for another man
ReplyDeleteIf you don't have a bad intention why can't she stay? Why can't you render her the help she needs? Must everything in life about sex? Do you know how she can repay the kindness in future? Why must you destroy the little act of humanity left in you because of sex?
ReplyDeleteFor something far less, I forgot, many have sold their birth right and mortgage their destiny. Every female friend must not be tor sampling... Not every relationship leads to marriage... they all are opportunities to add value to your life....
Please control yourself now and reap the blessings later on in live... for whatever you sow you will reap a harvest..