I wated a video sent on Whatsapp and I was really shocked by the happening..
Imagine a scenario where a 21-year old boy goes to live with his sugar mummy against his father's wish.
Imagine a scenario where a 21-year old boy goes to live with his sugar mummy against his father's wish.
He refused to go to school and the sugar mummy promised to open a Business for him....She insists the Business start up was already halfway through
The father Is terribly unhappy with the situation, goes to confront the sugar mummy and to remove his son from the situation. His efforts are in vain as his son refuses to leave the sugar mummy and the sugar mummy refuses to let him be dragged out of her house..
Both of them say they love each other..
The man says he did not go to school and wants his son to be educated...
The young man is 21 years old. an ADULT!
Why is it that Nigerian parents refuse to relaise when their kids have grown up and let them make their own decisions?
Most parents also stand in the way of the tribe their kids want to marry because they do not like the tribe...This is freaking wrong!
What do you think about these scenarios?
Would you interfere in your childs like even when they are already adults?
I know it is easier said than done but lets discuss this!
By 18 years, you should let your child start making decisions on their own. However, based on the above scenario, no parent would want their child/ward to make mistake that would affect their future. His parents concerns are genuine in the aspect of his education.
ReplyDeleteI don't agree it should be referred to as pokenosing but providing guidance and advice to your child. Even if you old sef, you are still their child. That is why it is important to instill all the right values before the age of 12yrs cos by 12yrs, the child's personality has been formed and cemented.
Is it right to ask our children maybe they have never had sex or maybe they are still virgins at such age? Though my parents never asked me.
ReplyDeleteIs there any parent who has done such here?
Well before they turned this age, I for don hammer the virginity talk with my kids so they’re comfortable enough to discuss anything with me even if it’s not 100%. I want a good relationship with my kids because it goes a long way in kids lives.
DeleteDon't make the mistake of asking them if they've had sex.
DeleteWait, if you ask them and they admit what would you do?
The best thing to do is not to ask them if they have tested the forbidden fruit or not; rather learn to prick their conscience with informations about consequences of sexual immorality.
Instill moral values in them because without the moral values they may find it difficult to adhere to the former.
Show them from the scriptures (if you are a christian) those passages in the bible that condemns fornication. It is very difficult to stay chaste if you don't have the fear of God.
Teach them to be wise so that no body will deceive them into giving in to their sexual advances inorder to prove their love for them.
Teach them to be contented with what they have because sometimes, it is the insatiable wants for material things that makes some people to sell off their pride for nonsense pleasures.
Make sure you are intentional about these things. Let them be to you as though they were your final year exam and if you fail to instill these things in the life of your kids you will be made to withdraw from the school and all your school fees from the first year would be a waste.
It's not easy to not get involved but at a certain age, I can only guide and allow them make their own decisions. Never stop praying for them. Na my motto be that.
ReplyDeletei will suggest the father leaves his son alone, it will be diificult for the father but he has no other chioce. Like they say, experience is the best teacher, whatever the 21yr old is doing, experience will teach him an unforgetable lesson. As for the SM, i have no words.
ReplyDeleteParents should let children make thier mistakes and learn from it, as a parents you only owe your kids parental advice and prayers.
I think a child should be allowed to take decisions for himself from the age of 18. At that age, his parents should give him freedom to be himself because he's now considered to be an adult. But they can guide him when it is obvious that he is going astray.
ReplyDeleteAt this age, they feel they are now in charge of their life and if you as a parent try to do otherwise, things May get wrong, all they need is the advice and prayers from the parents.
ReplyDeleteJewelu, this is really a problem especially with our African Parents .
ReplyDeleteMy Dad has handled several issues especially with regards to "marriage"
Parents especially Fathers dictating whom there Son should marry or not to marry and it's really disheartening.
Why not allow them make their choice. If it works out fine, if not ... experience they say is the best teacher. Honestly African Parents need to....
* their *
DeleteYea,*Their Thanks @ WINNER
DeleteIn as much as we should let our adult children live their lives and make their own mistakes...
ReplyDeleteWhen it comes to the issue of tribe....yes there are some tribes that I WONT let my kids marry into and I will drill it into them from the onset....call me tribalistic...DONT CARE... experience has thought me....
I think from 16,they leave home for the university. From there on,its prayer and trusting in their ability to make good decisions and judgements.
ReplyDeleteExperience is a good teacher not the best teacher. If we let our children learn by experience alone, the scars will be too much. They should learn to make informed decisions while taking advantage of their parents experience. That sugar mummy wants to damage the boy. As a mother, I will not watch my son sleep with my mate. I will pray, I will fight o.
ReplyDeleteIn this case, I honestly don't see what the father can do. The son is an adult. Also, if the reverse was the case, i.e. the daughter moving in with an older man who's doing the same thing sugar mummy is doing, will the father drag her out? Some parents these days will close their eyes and welcome the man sef as long as he marries her. It's because it's an older woman, hence the vexation.
ReplyDeleteIt's the older woman I'm even pitying. One day, the young man will tear eye and start chasing younger ladies. He won't remember what the older woman has done for him, and may even shame her using her age.
She doesn't know that ungratefulness and cruelty is follow come for most men, no matter how young . Madam is unaware that love cannot be bought
DeleteWhere are the children of the boy's older partner? If the young man cannot genuinely answer this question and reason deeply, the father should prayerfully watch him from a distance as there is nothing more he can do. May it not be too late before the son realizes he has volunteered his life as a teaching tool for the parents and children who know him or read this blog.
ReplyDelete