How do couples settle differences?
Some couples keep malice for days, weeks, months, oh Lord! I can't keep malice no matter how hard I try to and it irks me that I cannot match her energy for once, at least, let me show her that me too can do it.
My wife can keep malice for Africa but I don't give her the space to do it with me.Sometimes, we argue or quarrel, the next thing she will start carrying face for me even if she started the fight. I would be forced to speak to her. I would apologize for talking and saying things I shouldn't have said to her, she too will apologize, fight will finish..
I talk a lot, I'm the kind of person that says his mind when angry, I can't bottle it in, I let it all out and say hurtful things sometimes in the process. Then it's finished. I have never hit a woman but only talk... which I understand is more painful sometimes.
When I am done talking and my eyes don clear, I would want us to settle and continue like we were before. Not minding the fact that the things I said had hurt the other party so much.
My wife on the other hand doesn't talk much, more of actions. She will tell you one or two lines that will hurt you for years to come and then lock up, give you the silent treatment till you hate yourself.
She loves her space, she is enough alone, she can lock herself in the house without TV or Android phone for days without feeling lonely as long as there is food, she would cook, eat, clean, . So, malice is not a big deal to her. We are different.
Overtime, I started learning to control my mouth when angry so I don't say what will make me to start begging like a mumu after some hours.
Nowadays, my mouth has developed a cover, when we have misunderstanding, I would just talk to her without hurtful words, tell her she did wrong and we will settle without too much begging.
We both love writing. So sometimes, when we quarrel, we write our grievances and exchange via messages, settle our fight via phone calls and you won't know we fought few hours ago.
Marriage is a school.
Malice destroys marriages or relationship.it destroyed my marriage because no one wants to be the bigger person.
ReplyDeleteNow that we are both divorced,we still have issues but we settle it immediately infact no space for malice and there is peace.
Poster well done. You have done well.
DeleteMarriage na real school for real.
ReplyDeleteSome things go shock you,humble you,make you scatter your dada,make you understand life better etc.Above all marry a kind person.
I've understood marriage to be about 2 mature beings knowing when to apply breaks, reset and move forward.
ReplyDeleteSettling differences has been with ease so long as you know how to explain your feelings without using hurtful words that will make you to start dropping apologies that could have been avoided.
I hate apologizing for what I should be receiving apologies for just because I acted anyhow or didn't handle a situation well.
💯💯
DeleteNo,you aren't mumu but a matured man who knows he's at fault because of the words of his mouth and his matured to admit his wrong doings. Na man you be, not a SIMP like Dante says!
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmm, that's great.
ReplyDeleteHow do I settle dispute with my wife?🤦
We have our morning devolution together and do most things together, it becomes so difficult for us to keep malice because it will surely affect things we do together. This gives no room for days battle, all we do is, state or identify the cause and get to know who is at fault and we apologize and after that, we seal it with👅👅👅👅👅👅👅👅
DEVOTION
DeleteI like your format
DeleteThank God you took your time to discover this. Some will be forming "I'm the head of the family" and marriage will scatter.
ReplyDeleteMay God keep teaching you two.
Oga say 'begging like a mumu' 😆😆
ReplyDeleteMalice is not good for any marriage o.
Also let's learn to guide our tongue 👅
Words can be really hurtful.
But me I still believe silence treatment is the worst, that thing kills joor.
Atleast if you talk I can know exactly what is in your mind and what you feel about me or situations.
Above all proper communication is key 🔑
💯💯💯 on point.
DeleteSilent treatment is not it at all. Poor communication and an immature way of handling things. Imagine if the two are like that?
DeleteGood that both of you have learnt to
ReplyDeleteThe most complex B
I hate malice and dislike men that keep malice with their patners.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is indeed a school.
SWEET
ReplyDelete