THE OVER APPRECIATIVE COLLEAGUE
Stella howdy?
I need your red pen and beevees input too (it's always fun reading through).
One of my colleagues had accommodation issues last year and I accommodated till she sorted herself out in May 2023.
One of my colleagues had accommodation issues last year and I accommodated till she sorted herself out in May 2023.
The thing is that in my office, they see me as this strict no nonsense person because I don't engage in office gossips and the fact that I'm selective of invites I accept and colleague's functions I attend. I don't invite everyone when I do things too so I think it shouldn't be any big deal but I realised some people make an issue out of it.
I have someone that comes to cook for me every weekend. She cooks basically moi moi, soups, stews and some other meals depending on what I want; enough to last the week and store in the freezer. I also have someone who comes to clean and wash the clothes I dont take to laundry. Two of my cousins also stay with me. One just finished service and the other just relocated to the country.
So my colleague didn't have to do much when she was around.
Around February, my cook travelled for an exam/vacation and didn't come for like three Saturday's. My colleague decided to cook even though I told her not to as I ordered in food and cook sometimes when I'm around.
So she cooked this moi moi that really tasted nice and I complimented her for it. But I still genuinely don't want her in the kitchen not for anything special, it's just that I like the way I do my things. She will still do as a sweet girl that she is
Let me just go straight to the point jare...
I have two problems now:
One, because I told her that her moimoi was fantastic and about the best I've eaten; she has made it a point of duty to always cook moimoi and bring to me.
The first time she brought it, I told her that she doesn't have to bother herself but she said it was just an appreciation gesture as I refused to take anything from her for the help I offered her.
Now, she brings it every other day and it's becoming annoying and I might just loose it one day.
Now, she brings it every other day and it's becoming annoying and I might just loose it one day.
Please, you guys should help me. Give me ideas on the nicest way to let her know that I don't want this anymore.
Number 2: most of the time, my prayer point is asking God to remove anyone that would play god in my life or to call me back when I start seeing someone as a god in my life. You know, sometimes, we could be carried away by some person's help to us and we start seeing them differently.
Now, it seems the reverse is the case. This lady sees me differently now, like I can actually do no wrong in her eyes.
According to her, before she came to my house, she thought I'm one of those single wicked frustrated aunties because of office gossips but she saw me in a different light after staying with me for almost one year. And the fact that her plan before moving in was just to stay less than a month but ended up that long and I still welcomed her with no complaints.
She said that people she expected would welcome her with open arms without even thinking twice almost didn't mind her being thrown to the streets.
Please, how do I lessen this hold I seem to have on her. Sincerely, I just did what I did to help and I empathized with her.
I don't want to play a god on someone and I feel embarrassed already. I have told her to ignore that I helped and see me as her regular colleague but this girl get coconut head.
True true, I be very soft somebody putting on a hard exterior cos of my experiences. Few more of this and I might just break down cos I don't know how to handle it. Help me before I loose it.
*Hahahahahahahahahahhaha I am sorry, let me laugh small..
Hhahahahahahahahahahaha..
If you dont handle this well she will hate you cos love and hate walk hand in hand... Just tell her that your bowels are reacting from too much beans and that she should stop sending...Also tell her that you want to what you eat and she should not bother with any food again for now..
You can be pososned this way also so be careful abeg.
Tell her and squeeze your face if she attempts to bombard you with any food again.
Can you afford with straight face reject the moi moi? She wants to be in your good books in case of future needs. Invoke that office face they know you with when next she comes bearing moi moi.The poisoning Stella talked about is another angle. Your security over her feelings.
ReplyDeleteNa wah o. Some people do good just because they appreciate you. I have someone that linked me to the course I ran to get the good job I have now. Hear me, she only advised I run that course and I went to look for the particular program. I will never forget her. There's nothing she's asked of me that I have said no even when it wasn't convenient for me. Even her siblings enjoy the benefit of my gratitude. I earn more than her now but still give her maximum respect. We don't all always show gratitude so we can get more assistance.
DeleteThen you don't know what it is to be so appreciative of someone that you feel like giving them the world to make up for those times they helped you. I'm like that, do something tiny for me, e don do be that, I will so find a way of paying them back. Poster just tell her that you're reacting to those things, that you feel bloated.
Delete16.06: is you me? I don't usually get favors frin people, so if I get one, am so grateful and appreciative, that I do all I can, to show it....I know so many ppl get paranoid or 'wise' thinking our gratefulness get agenda lass appreciation. I pray the world is balanced between agenda pipu and grateful pipu
DeleteWell poster, my advice to you is that you form fasting (you or you and household) to reduce the pressure. Then during the fake fasting, plix solve whatever issues madam moimoi came to table to you that brought her to you in the first place.
If na housing, find her a place and pay for 6mths or a year (as it applies) and tell her you appreciate her during the handover key of rented place) that you know she will soar higher and higher.
Do it gently bcos you see these grateful people are getting harder to find.
Wow!!!
ReplyDeleteTo your first statement I would love you to advise her that you are the type that don't normally take moi moi all the time, that you randomly takes it when you have the urge and secondly you won't want to waste the food whenever she brings it that anytime you need it that you will tell her to prepare it.
From your second statement; you don't need to be harsh on her cos she is probably seeing someone like you for the first time with so much love and care.
Just take it easy with her and let her know that you don't joke with your privacy Atimes.
DOZZYBEST 🇳🇬
Poster take this advice. Tell her to make a cooler for a friend or relatives party. Give her the money to prepare it, money you are ok to loose o. After that, tell her to bring moi moi only when you ask for it. Say it sweetly.
DeleteYou're an angel in human form Poster. May God grant your utmost desires ❤️
DeleteSince she has refused to stop bringing you moi moi after several attempts to make her understand she doesn’t have to, when next she brings them, throw them in the bin.
ReplyDeleteThe whole thing is even irritating.
Sluttychic.
Nawa o
DeletePoster, please do not throw the Moi-moi away..
DeleteIf you can call her aside as a younger sister and tell her the truth, that you appreciate the Moi-moi but you begin to feel uncomfortable/guilty
as you feel like you are talking advantage of her and she is paying back for what you did for her.
Just let her know that you helped her out of love and the goodness of your heart.
Poster, here you have it all said.
DeleteThank you @16:05
Poster pls sorry for my 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 this is funniest chronicle I've read this year.O.k.back to the issue at hand. I'm of the opinion you should come out straight with her that you've had enough of her moimoi and you won't take it again after the last one she brought.Keep a straight face while addressing her. Let her know you're damn serious.
DeleteHaba this isn't nice na
DeleteWhich Kain wahala be this on top food, the geh get coconut head true true😂
ReplyDeleteSome people can show appreciation eh, you are even lucky she didn't share your phone number to her family members so they can call and say thanks too🤣🤣
If she carry her wahala come again, tell her say make she carry the food dash those security men on your behalf😂😂😂
👍
Delete🤣😅 I did this o. Chai! Some of us just want to keep showing gratitude. We can't help it.
DeleteGifty you echoed my thoughts
DeleteWhat's wrong with her offering you some yummy moi moi consistently?
ReplyDeleteLol
It looks as though you are too sensitive a person
Be calming down abeg
This is a non-issue
Tell her you are not comfortable with it anymore. Be kind but firm while saying it.
ReplyDeleteTell her you don't feel like eating moi-moi, why not give it to someone else. After that, thank her with a straight face.
ReplyDeleteMao Akuh
Okay safe by telling her you are going on lean protein and fruit diet due to health reasons. Tell her before she brings another batch, don’t wait. Also let her know how you really appreciate her meals and kindness because the stress to cook is much. Don’t forget to compliment her cooking o. Praise it o.
ReplyDeleteNo need to lie, they are in the same office, she might see her eating such and feel bad. Poster, just tell her to stop nicely and if she insists, dash any cleaner or security you rapport with. I actually understand where she's coming from but don't eat if you don't want to.
DeleteThe Boss that gave me a juicy job free of charge got a cake from me every year on his birthday, no matter how many times he told me to stop. I know he doesn't eat it but shares it out, it's nice to know someone cares and appreciates so much.
I would have called her aside and tell her to understand that I only was an instrument from God to help her in her times of need. She should move on and save her food for people who needs it.
ReplyDeleteBut if she insist, next time tell her to give the Moimoi to security for lunch.
That was how one Aboki Mai flower almost finished me with Rose plants every Saturday. I got tired, he won't stop until las las I relocated. Just find a way to kindly tell her to only bring on request. 😁
ReplyDelete😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteYou're such nice person
ReplyDeleteIn fact I was thinking of the poisoning aspect too. Too much of everything is truly bad, she is overdoing the appreciation part
Follow Stella's advice I pray it works. Please bring feedback here
Why can't she just get the message? Some people don trust know when to draw the line.
ReplyDeleteEven while you were at her place I'm sure she has noticed your kind of life and she knows how self sufficient you want to be so why don't she just get the message na.
Anyway maybe it's time you sit her down and caution her with care, maybe explain a little to her and you both will be fine even if it might bring a little strain but with time she will understand its your life.
You really tried for her o. You housed her for 1yr.
I don't even blame her for over doing self lol.
In this naija ??
One of the times I agree with Stella’s red pen. Please don’t wait till you lose it on her, tell her that you can’t eat moimoi for a while because of stomach reaction and that you still have the previous ones in the fridge, so she should stop bringing it. Say it matter of fact, not in a playful way and not in an angry way. Hopefully she’s wise enough to get the message. Some people don’t know when to stop
ReplyDeleteAbeg make i laugh small😂😂😂
ReplyDeletePls tell her to stop ! and be stern about it. Your Priority over her feelings o.
Madam, I actually feel for you. Hmmm...what kind of rough experiences have you had in your past that has led you to raise so high a wall against all love? I wish I can reach you and tell you that you truly deserve all the love, kindness, devotion, loyalty, admiration, support, warmth, generosity, true friendship and true accolades. Why would you isolate yourself? Because people continue to emphasize that humans are terrible? Because you had a few bad experiences with a few people? Haba! Relax and believe in the law of attraction that it's the energy you put out there that will attract it's like to you. There are many good and genuine people and you will be doing yourself a lot of injustice turning them away from your life. No one is an island. That God you have talked so much about depending on does not dwell in a vacuum. He lives in people.
ReplyDeleteFor the avalanche of moimoi, tell her to to make the fewer and farther apart so they don't pile up and spoil.
If
It's the Love/God in that girl that is showering you with generosity and you must not meet it with ingratitude. It will tell on you later.
Best comment.
DeleteI wish I go see who appreciate me laidis walai will be so pleased the one I helped blocked me sef 🤣🤣
ReplyDeletewhether na by force lol
ReplyDeletePoster,you have to insist ni oooo. I dont like,what I hate 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteNa appreciation she dey show, she no kill person abeg.
ReplyDeleteSome people are like that, it doesn't make them evil or however way you want to put it. She just doesn't know how to thank you whom she least expected help from. You don't need to make her feel bad for being overly appreciative. You can just tell her something like you're going on a weight loss journey or that you're trying to watch what you eat as you're reacting to something and you're trying to find out what exactly it is by watching what you eat.
Poster, tell her you really appreciate her show of gratitude and care but going forward,she should give all the glory and honor to God. Tell her you feel guilty of sharing God's glory whenever she comes with the extra gestures like bringing moi moi. Tell her you already have enough stocked in your freezer.
ReplyDeleteSome people can't just remove their mouth from someone's ass😩! Lick members 😁.
ReplyDeletePerson wey you for don change am for since. Mtcheewwwwww 😟
Ndi olacha Ike nsi.😁
All I saw is that you accommodated someone for one year?
ReplyDeleteFor free?
And you did not carry tambourine and vuvuzela to announce this???
Why won't she see you like mini god???
Do you know how difficult it is to see pepole who will do good and not ask for anything in return?
If it was a man, he would have been demanding nyansh before 24 hours under his roof is over sef.
So try to understand her gratitude.
Tell her you don't require her to make moi moi, and that if you do, you will tell her.
You still find a way to yab men!
DeleteAbeg, change your circle of men. Wetin be d word for man hate again?
But na true she talk..how many men will house a woman for free? Even for job sef dem go dey ask you for body shiooor
DeletePoster simply tell her that, she should hold on with bringing you food until you tell her. Let her know you are on some medication or you are attending a course that makes you eat out these days so she should hold on for now. She will understand.
ReplyDeleteI will just keep keeping in my fridge
ReplyDeleteOnce I’ve gathered a bunch, I’ll send her a picture and tell her to let me finish these ones first before she sends more
Also maybe she needs to start selling this moi moi if it’s that good
Hi poster. May God bless you for being kind to your colleague.
ReplyDeleteI do not see you as being her God. She is acting out of being grateful for what you did for her. You can tell her to bring you the moi moi once a month or every other month, that kind of thing. She wants to pay you back in her own little way - let her.
I know about your tough exterior and all, but this could the beginning of a lifetime of friendship/sisterhood.
I support Slutty on this one! Bin any moi moi she brings again! Don't even bother telling her anything. Use your discernment please.
ReplyDeletePls tell her with a strict face that she should not make any moi moi for you again. That what you did for her was out of the goodness of your heart.
ReplyDeleteYou're a really nice person. Keep being kind ♥️
ReplyDeleteAdvice her to start selling this moimoi like someone mentioned up there. If it is as good as you say it is, that is. Tell her firmly that until she makes it a side hustle, she should not bring any for you again. Then when she makes it a side hustle, please patronise her and let the other lady prepare the other foods. If after the advice, she no still hear word, then outrightly reject it. Make she no use moimoi wunjor you out of gratitude🤣🤣.
ReplyDeleteE be like una go need increase her workload for that office sef. This one wey she dey get plenty extra time to prepare moimoi for weekdays. Gratitude na serious virtue; some people for don use gossip, ingratitude and backbiting finish you for dat office if na dem. She is overdoing it, yeah, but still better than an ungrateful soul any day. Abeg no vex😘. God bless you both.
Use reverse psychology for her, that way she won’t feel unwanted by u. Tell her that if she continues bringing moimoi, u r beginning to think she is trying to pay u bck for wat u did for her, and you dnt like it. You did what u did for her becos of God.
ReplyDeleteTell her that you guys are family now, if u need it, u wud tell her.
You're a nice person 😘but you don't want to admit it. God bless your heart. Please gently tell her you don't want the moimoi by force she's bringing, as per seeing you as mini god,well you have to be diplomatic about that because she only appreciates you, and which she should,abi even a blood sis may not even do what you did freely
ReplyDeleteToday's chronicle is a breath of fresh air
ReplyDeleteI tell you. God bless you Poster, your type is rare.
DeleteShe get luck you no get longer throat neighbors na dem go dey finish d moi moi. Just tell her to bring when you want that's it's not all the time that you eat moi moi, her type of person she don already like and appry you . If you say no believe me her type will sulk before you know it she might start seeing you differently and join office to gossip. Tons of advice here will confuse you just pray about it on ways to handle it best. If she is not in the same office with you it would be been better some pple don't understand boundary
ReplyDeletePoster pls open up to love. Love gives room for offense and forgiveness. Tell her to reduce them, both quantity and time. Enjoy her good deeds.
ReplyDelete