Hmmm.....
REGRET OVER TWIN PREGNANCY
Bvs I need your advice.
I earn 250k monthly working from home while hubby earns 100k. We plan to have just 2 kids because of the economy.
We already have a 4 year old boy and decided to try for another child before sealing the place permanently.
I am currently pregnant. I went to do scan only to find out that I am carrying twins.
I was so devastated cos we didn't plan for double.
I need Bvs to advice me on how to cope with the expenses of 3 kids in this hard economy.
Secondly, How do I stop envying people with 2 kids and blaming God for adding extra for me.
We already have a 4 year old boy and decided to try for another child before sealing the place permanently.
I am currently pregnant. I went to do scan only to find out that I am carrying twins.
I was so devastated cos we didn't plan for double.
I need Bvs to advice me on how to cope with the expenses of 3 kids in this hard economy.
Secondly, How do I stop envying people with 2 kids and blaming God for adding extra for me.
Between you both there is N350k every month....can a 3rd child not fit in?You are pregnant with twins and dont know the Blessing you carry so i will not be pissed.......Be content with what God has blessed you with and stop complaining. I dont live in Nigeria and dont know how to give you the managing advice but the money you mentioned up there is enough to takecare of a family of 5 every month...manage it,some dont have at all::::
Madam, stop being ungrateful, there are families that earn less than 100k a month and they cope with their lives, though, I don't envy them. You work from home and still earn 250k, let your husband add side hustle to his job, cut down on buying unnecessary things and you will cope very well.
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Abeg allow her, some ppl want to give their kids the best and not just bare minimum. You heard 350k do you know where they live, do you know other dynamics of her family?
DeleteMadam u can survive. U have an elder child,so some of the clothes that one used can still be used,if u kept it well. Be thankful in all situations.
Delete@16:30,
DeleteShe for no kuku do again as e no be food.
Some Chronicles just put more pains on others and when comments like yours is added, it is like adding salt on a raw wound.
Stella that money is far from being enough in this economy, especially if she lives in one of the more expensive states, and consider the fact that she is the one earning over 60% of that money, any little pregnancy wahala that makes her go out of that job like this o pari. Nevertheless poster, there's nothing you can do right now than accept the free gift you've been bequeathed.
DeleteContinue to work on developing your portfolio career wise and hopefully you'll be able to land a better paying job in the next 1-2 years when the kids are ready to start schooling.
Your husband needs to do the same, start thinking of ways to increase that money he's earning.
Hmmm, ẹni lórí oni fìlà. Please be grateful some us are seeking for money to have this wonderful gift, some even have the money yet couldn't have them.
DeleteJust be thanking God
DeleteThe lord is your strength... I understand your fears cos milk and pampers no be your mate but I know twins usually bring in favors from God . You and your hubby might be promoted before they arrive . There are somethings that don't happen the way I want but years later when I look back, I can literally see it was the hand of God. You will be fine dear
ReplyDeleteAmen I claim it for myself as I’m currently pregnant with twins too
DeleteThere's absolutely no manual on how to cope with the present economy in this country but the truth is that, we'll surely make it through all these. Stop worrying about how you'll cope, stop feeling bad and blaming God for giving you double. These babies might bring you good luck and open doors. Just take it a day at a time. It's not that bad
ReplyDeletePoster y are u overreacting? Am sure u don't mean wat u said up there.walk in d shoes of those TTCing and u would forever remain silent God does not make mistakes u berra collect ur blessings in peace.harsh economy indeed.honestly u vex me.
ReplyDeleteThat she has not experienced The pain of those TTC does not invalidate her own pain. Both scenarios are two different struggles and neither should be dismissed.
DeletePoster instead of focusing on your potential struggles why not trust in God for provision. He brought this blessing would he not make provision for them??
Do not be anxious for anything rather through prayer and supplication make your desires known to God and the peace that surpasses all human understanding will guard your heart.
Thanks Yvonne for your first paragraph.
DeleteI do not like how we invalidate other's concerns because we somehow think they have it better.
Her concerns are very very valid Lyrix, she is not overreacting.
The fact that a lot of people live on 100k does not mean she shouldn't and can't aspire for more please.
Dear poster, stop whining and get used to the idea you are having twins. Change your attitude pls.
ReplyDeleteWhy should you envy those with two kids? The good thing is you are not them and they are not you. Your path and purpose on earth is different. And God who gives children has just shown you that.
In Proverbs 16, you will find a verse that says the preparation of the heart belongs to man but the answer of the tongue belongs to God. You planned for one, God says two . End of story.
You will be fine.
Just gather yourself and plan. Pls love the babies before they arrive.
Best wishes.
Poster be grateful to God. God has blessed you so much you don't know it. Just be thankful.
ReplyDelete350k is considerably okay for a family with 3 kids na
ReplyDeleteDo you know that there are people who cope with your exact number of kids and still do all of that with far less pay within the range of 80k-200k?
You just be hopeful
true
DeleteStandards are different
DeleteSome families will be willing and gratefully adopt one of the twins if you decide to change your mind since you're obsessed with having two children. Wait till your twins come out all boys and see if your husband will keep his own side of the agreement and won't want a female child
ReplyDeleteLife truly no balance.
Mr man , not all men are like those that surround you. There are responsible men who keep to agreement no matter the sex of the child.
DeleteLol @ envying people with 2 kids and blaming God for adding extra one 😂😂😂
ReplyDeleteI think you're having pregnancy related depression due to the fact that things didn't go your way.
Just focus on thanking God for good health and praying for a safe delivery without any complications. When the babies arrive, you'll feel better.
My dear please don't be ungrateful .
ReplyDeleteThe blessing of the lord makes one rich and added no sorrow with it.
You will be surprised how God will bless you through the twins.
Please give thanks to God for this divine blessing and stop complaining.
Sorry your chronicle is damn annoying! See me fasting and praying uncontrollably..waiting for 5pm to join Koinonia and here you are with absolutely no problem..wow
ReplyDeleteGod would come through for you don’t lose faith
DeleteYou would have reasons to be grateful 😇
Thank you Anon. Even when there is no hope, I am still hoping on God that one day, I will carry my child. It is well.
DeleteI join my faith with yours for answers to your prayers 🙏
DeleteShe's expressing her feelings. Cause you are expectant does not mean someone else is not depressed over same blessing. God will answer your prayers. Now to the poster. 350k is small considering Nigeria economy but its not terrible as well compared to alot of people. My advice is to get a side hustle that will pay you more daily. Salary should never be relied upon. What if they downsize. You and hubby should also look for other jobs that pays more. I myself got pregnant after 7 years in a foreign country. I don't have money issues but mentally I was depressed. I mean my last is 7 and here I am carrying pregnancy at almost 40. But in any case I thank God and I have learnt to love and grow with it and thank fullly my kids too her eager to help. I can assure you that you will love it at the end of the day. Just ask God for better opportunities and long life and great health for you and every member of your household and too anyone looking for the fruit of the womb may God grant your desires. Amen.
DeleteRejoice and be happy.
ReplyDeleteYour twins will bring forth good news.
Your husband can get a vasectomy after this one .
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Haba na 😣🤣🤣🤣. Don't they want a third child 🙄🙄 in the future?
DeleteSeemed like I skipped "we already have a 4year old". So yes Xoxo, it's time for the man to get the vasectomy. If not a mistake again even when using condom, could lead to another baby.
Delete*seems
DeleteHmmmmmm you're complaining about twins God have given you? On a lighter note you can put one up for legal adoption after birth.
ReplyDeleteThe most complex B
350k isn’t enough for a family of 5 so they man has to put in more work and have a few side hustles.
ReplyDeleteI have an 8 year old son & 4 year old twin sons so I know.
Pls what’s your job
ReplyDelete😪😪😪😪 this life !
ReplyDeleteI've had multiple pregnancies and lost all.
Carried one to term and lost the rest
Done ivfs right after and it still didn't stay.
Can I come have the extra twin so I can have peace from my sister in law who hates me so much cuz I refused to follow through with her solution to "my problems " ...this life!!!!
May the Lord come through for you and silence our enemies. Keep holding on. God keeps His promises.
DeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteSometimes in fact many times we see see our plans blowing up in our faces,I think God has a sense of humour. You are blessed. Many will give a tooth and eye to be in your shoes so accept your good fate and begin to plan. Imagine an extra baby to love and cuddle,I don't think that sounds so bad,does it? You sound like an organised and efficient family so discuss with hubby and make the necessary adjustments. Everything happens for a reason,the twins are your silver lining. I wish you the best.
The poster is afraid because she is basically the breadwinner of the home. It's a huge responsibility.
ReplyDeleteMadam, your husband has to STEP UP and remain up in responsibilities
DeletePoster,rest abeg. You are just whining like an ungrateful person. Maybe if you had to spend million on IVF looking for just one baby,you will learn to count your blessings and stop questioning God unnecessarily. How much does a baby eat per month that you are complaining this much about an extra mouth to feed on 350k? Won't you and your husband grow in life and your income increase over time? Pls,can you can allow the extra baby be adopted when it's born since you don't want?
ReplyDeleteHer complaints are valid. That you or some others are TTC does not stop people from complaining, to each his own. Our problems are different.
DeleteAs for those shouting about 350k, this amount is not enough for a family of five that had set a certain standard, like a good school, good diet, house expenses, etc. Even the school will not be that good because very good schools cost from 200k upwards per month, depending on the City. So don't compare them with those that earn 100k, we all have our own set standards. Let her be
See wetin I de pray for!!! Currently pregnant with my first. Will be grateful for a twin pregnancy after my first so I close shop. 3 is my number. Me I can’t do 2 kids o!!! Too few biko.
ReplyDeleteThis chronicle took me back to the day I found out I was having twin, it’s one day I will never forget in my life; just like this poster, I was shocked and broke down in tears, how could God give me two?
ReplyDeleteI’m a newly wed who prayed to God for a son, i didn’t ask for two. with these my tiny boobs, how would I make enough milk for two babies?
I hear twins always come through CS, I don’t want CS cos I had a mapped out plan on how I will “snap back”.
Will my tummy ever return to shape… so many questions I asked myself but looking at my sons now, i feel like turning back the hands of time, so I could give myself a slap for all my vain thoughts and imaginations. How could I ever shed a tear over these blessings???
Poster, please submit everything into God’s hands and watch him work wonders for you, stop worrying about tomorrow.
My prayer for you is that God who opened the doors of heaven to shower his blessings on my household will do same for you 🙏🏾 may you look back and laugh in thanksgiving. Amen!
Ps. Twin pregnancy is nothing like carrying singleton, it’s not easy but your God is capable. Congratulations
I thank God for you.
DeleteIt seems like the poster is acting under the control of her emotions.
She is running faster than her shadow. She is thinking about a future when she is not yet out of the present.
Poster, can you appreciate God for his blessings.. God doesn't make mistake. He will make everything work together for your good. Trust Jesus wholeheartedly for he shall supply all you need at the right time.
These things happens a lot to married people, don't be too hard on yourself ok.
ReplyDeleteJust enjoy your pregnancy and have a safe delivery
My family earns 300k and we live very ok, family of 5,we save nothing less than 100k every month.
ReplyDeleteWhich state do you live in? Which school does your children go to? What is the quality of your meals not quantity ooooo! Which house do you live in? So many persons may survive with 300k per month but are not comfortable.
DeleteI am someone who does not want to leave a manage life so I am doing all I can to come out of the manage life. Maybe you should have newer goals that may help you amp up your salary. Also you should get a new side hustle that can also help you. Please don’t blame God because he has seen a blessing coming to you in the form of twins.
ReplyDeleteWhy re you complaining? Dash one out to the orphanage home after birthing simple.
ReplyDeletePoster, please be grateful for the pregnancy. I pray God bless me with twins in my next pregnancy. Few years from now,you will look back and laugh at your naivety. Cheer up
ReplyDeleteYour fears are valid however this is not the time to sound ungrateful. Some people are TTCing so you need to be sensitive about what you say or think. Congratulations you are expecting twin babies💐. How about diversifying your incomes. You and your husband can start side hustles to fetch extra income.
ReplyDeleteSaying you are jealous of parents with 2 kids. Remove such thoughts from your mind. All the best.
Why should she be sensitive? She is pregnant for crying out loud, hormones all over the place.
DeleteWe are discussing her. pplliigggh
I never even type finish, thing just publish
DeletePoster a lot of us can relate to your plight.
@Gifty I am sure you didn't read my comment well. Yes she should be sensitive and let's stop giving excuse about hormones.
DeleteWhen are you blessed with something: you should be grateful: why say you are envious of people with 2 kids.
Please read well before you reply with emotions.
Complaints and jealous of people with 2 kids? Simple solution: give birth and send one to an orphanage, or ask God to take one twin, since you have decided to be ungratefully vocal.
ReplyDeleteMtcheeeeewwwww
This chronicle is TONE DEAF in a country with 30k minimum wage with 80% living on less than $5/day! “Devastated” you are having twins and “blaming God”? “Envying those with two kids”? As someone with singleton & multiple, I was excited just like all my doctors were once the scan showed two even though I had a ONE year old at home so they were like triplets & I was just “adulting” in my mid 20s with a great career. Gratitude is an attitude. It’s nothing to do with hormones. What if you were expecting triplets?
DeleteMy sister tried for years, died TTC & I’m still pained till date years later. Do you think most people plan for twins unless they set it up via IVF? To those defending her as not being insensitive on this very public blog where TTCs comment everyday, I’m sorry, putting this on a public blog is not the best. Nobody hopes to remain stagnant in life after birthing kids is so it’s ok & socially polite to care about your audience before using words like “devastated”, “Blame God”, “envying those with two kids”🤔
Let me write a fictional chronicle as tone deaf but equally valid for someone somewhere …. “I’m so upset that I’m getting a Maserati because I wanted either a Ferrari or Lamborghini. I mean how on earth would I cope with driving a car like Maserati…it’s like getting a Porsche. I envy people with Ferraris, I always wanted one. It’s much cuter! I’m afraid I may not meet the standards we set for ourselves” … that’s also a valid concern but totally tone deaf, dumb even in the US with 22million or 8.8% of the population as millionaires & >30% of global $ millionaires! US Yahoo news commenters will shred such a post as seriously tone deaf because a society is as good as the “least of these”.
The truth is not politically correct. If some wrote some stuff as chronicles, it will seem like bragging, making some people question their God or cry to sleep!
God will help you deliver safely and if you still don’t want them, I know someone who had 10 IVFs (costing your annual household income plus more) before getting one & some who will gladly take care of one of them with love, the most important ingredient you need with to raise your kids as your income grows.
Can we normalize not acting/talking like women just started getting pregnant a few years ago, (it’s as old as Adam & Eve), hormones did not prompt this “chronicle”, the musings yes but writing this, no as she could have talked over with close friends, or family? Do you know how many TTCs will cry hot tears of pain to God upon reading this? I don’t mean any offense as an older mom (made ultra sensitive to TTC by my sister & many TTCs, their very deep pain & constant tears)…..she wanted hers so bad, like Rachel in the Bible. I was sensitive to not rub in what she was waiting for. It’s deep. Same way some of us women only talk about husbands with our single friends. It’s just polite not to open a wallet full of $ bills in front of someone you can’t or won’t give who is needy!
This chronicle is symptomatic of a deeper issue, we don’t care about each other’s feelings or the impact of what we do or say. It’s good to pause to think of the impact of what you write publicly on the mental health of some others. It’s not about validity alone. Poster be thankful you got 3 for 2 pregnancies without coughing out N10m for one. A salary of N4m+ in today’s Nigeria will not be your salary in 3 years time. Pray for progress, get your mom/MIL to help babysit, move temporarily to a cheaper but safe area before they are old enough to start school etc so your finances will be better. It’s a matter of reordering your priorities & gratitude. Your glass is half full.
To all the TTCs, God will wipe away your tears in Jesus name, God has not forgotten you. Poster, be grateful. “Devastated” isn’t a grateful response to such news by a married woman, it’s not rape or incest. Kids grow so fast & life gets much better if you keep working hard & praying. God never orders what he will not pay for. Love & peace✌🏾
Please don't be devastated, those twins may even bring promotion for your husband, just cut your coat according to your size, learn to manage and save money, God is faithful, some will give anything to have that twins you are depressed about, please be cheerful, God will open doors for you 🙏
ReplyDeleteDear Poster. Congratulations!!!
ReplyDeleteEverything is going to be okay.
Everything is going to be okay.
Everything is going to be okay.
You have a journey ahead of you. You need to be in a good state of mind for it. So, you need to brush off this sorrow. Brush it off. Those kids are yours. They are yours. And they need their mama. Accept them with all of your heart, and love them.
Start now to pray for them, to come out whole and complete with no defects. Start now to proclaim with your mouth, that they are both blessings.
As for the financial part, encourage your husband to step up the career ladder, if it means retraining for a higher paying career. Or seeking a higher paying opportunity, he can begin now.
Do not forget to discuss with your husband on how to tie your tubs after this.
Poster I understand your worries, but in everything give thanks to God, I know you want to give your kids the best and God willing you will, you just have to work with budget and your family will be fine.
ReplyDeletePoster you and your husband should not use your own hands to spoil what God has done for you people o.
ReplyDeleteHmmm!
You have 350k to work with. Learn how to manage this fund and pray for additions, supernatural supply.
This life 🚶🚶🚶
ReplyDeleteIt is important to appreciate God's blessings always.There are some people earning less than what you and your hubby are earning yet they fast day and night waiting patiently for a miracle of child birth.
ReplyDeletePoster,the money you described up there, will be more than enough to take care of them as long as you are content with whatever you have. Congrats as you await your great bundle of joy.
Madam, u don't have a problem, u are just stressing ur brain
ReplyDelete300k won't be enough for the five of you? Your kids are not even big enough that one would assume that they consume too much food. They are not even mature enough to make choice of their own so you won't be compelled to meet up with their constant request of buying clothes to compete with their peers.
ReplyDeleteGod please be giving these blessings to those who need them 🙏
Lol..
ReplyDeleteBeing that you earn more and probably spend more on the family, you now understand how men feel, when there's an agreement not to have more kids and the wife 'set him up' with pregnancy..
Irrelevant nigga
DeleteDante what you said is the most insensitive thing ever, you telling her to feel what men feel, besides the couple have only one child and plan to have only two and found out it's twins, where Iin God's name did you see she kinda disobeyed d man to get Bellw, I think this masculinity abi hater you re showing here will consume you one day .
DeleteShe is worried about d economy and the fact they planned to have two what is wrong with you. I don't know who you have fed,catered for or even trained that everytime it's whine and whine all day about gender issues breathe na wa for you and your mentality, may you find a version of you that fits you tufiakwa
Your worries are valid, poster.
ReplyDeleteI pray God comes through for your family in a way you never expected. 350k is not that much to meet some preferred standard of living for a family of five in some States in Nigeria.
Felicity
Start stocking up on things while they are cheaper now. Stick to a strict household budget. If you are not able to breastfeed twins investigate good and safe formula you can get at wholesale prices. Utilize your network and support group for help in your search. Places like Facebook marketplace will have baby items cheaper than in store.
ReplyDeleteHave a safe delivery. It’s only one more child. Pray for a promotion for your husband so he sees a pay increase. Most of all pray for good health for the babies. Having two healthy babies means half the battle is already over.
I don't think it is that hard poster, anything can happen overnight, God can bless your husband more than your expectations before the birth of the twins, just appreciate God for the present blessings He gave you presently. Ralax and enjoy your pregnancy journey. Best of luck.
ReplyDeleteYou're so ungrateful it hurts my heart, I'm a widow with 3 kids no job, I sell drinks and I'm taking care of my kids with overwhelming bills. I'm grateful to God please be.
ReplyDeletePlease your struggle does not invalidate her pain, but imagine someone reading your comment and saying at least you even carter for your children through drinks sales so you are ungrateful because she has no money to buy a pack of drinks to make sales for her kids to feed
DeleteThe God that put those twins in your womb is that the same God that will help you
ReplyDeleteLizzy baby
God's grace is multiplied unto you, Poster. By the way I desire a job like yours. Biko show me the way😊
ReplyDeleteAnd I am serious about this. Not joking ooo
ReplyDeleteSome are TTC begging God for just one child. Please don't be ungreatfull
ReplyDeleteI can understand her fears. They want the kids to have a good life, and they think they can cater for one "comfortably" (i.e. according to their capacity) at the moment. Poster just know that it is God that provides. Focus on the fact that God had mercy on you and gave you twins. you guys will be fine
ReplyDeletePoster truth is you can't help it ,that's why we can't understand God's plan you tried for one and got two I will still tell you be happy and grateful I understand your fears cos of the economy it's not easy on anybody. Start by buying small small from thrift add a little already made, you can't skip baby milk and pampers but I want you to believe God ,things turn around within a twinkle of an eye and pls don't think much you don't wanna get BP during pregnancy it's dangerous, just be happy God will show his mighty self.
ReplyDeleteIf there is anything hubby can do to assist let him I pray God provides in this season, as for food buy in bulk or wholesale stores, don't envy anybody that's why pple are telling you you re ungrateful that's some are ttc,some miscarried,.in all pregnancy need positive outlook and mindset fo your maternity wears source first grade
It's well with you just be happy save towards delivery and pack on time , I wish you safe delivery in advance pls be happy it will end in praise and I beg you don't think too much ok
She can even make pap and Tom Brown to support the baby formula. Stop feeling bad, just think positively and how best to manage and improve your resources. I'm yet to conceive as well and I lost my job but I refuse to be downcast. I know for sure that iyanu ma shele very soon. We are rooting for you Poster, waiting to read your update of a positive turnaround. Cheers.
DeleteSo are you now saying that you’ll forever be stuck with 350k as a family? Having twins will actually motivate you and hubby to do better financial wise. After having my kids, something in me woke up and just motivated me to go back to school, I changed major, added more to my certification, and got a better paying offer. Having twins will ignite a passion in you to do more for your kids if you’re the type that values a good wellbeing for your kids trust me. Aim for better financial security after having your kids and once you’ve settled well into your routine. I take God beg you, don’t abort those children oooo. Do NOT. They’ll be additional source of blessing to you and your husband. Congrats! 🎊🎉🎈🍾
ReplyDelete