Hmmm.....
HELP NEEDED
How do I cope with an arrogant, stubborn, taciturn husband who is down with partial stroke yet behaves as if he owns the world. Never appreciates help from people but always wants to have his way in terms of medication etc.
I have to manage home and business. I have imbibed scriptures and music into my daily activities.
What other coping mechanisms can I adopt for my mental and physical health? I need help.
What other coping mechanisms can I adopt for my mental and physical health? I need help.
WOW.... I am so so sorry about this, you need the grace of God to scale through this....Please try to understand that he is like this because he is afriad to lose his grip on things.....Just pet him and he will change...You need to stablize yourself emotionally or this kind of situation can break you and send you into depression.
All you need is grace. No sick person is happy. He too is going through a lot emotionally. Keep talking to him on the need to make this phase easy of all of you by having a change of attitude.
ReplyDeleteAlways invite the help of the holy spirit.
I listened to Nene leakes on her husbands journey to recovery before he died from cancer, she said sick people are bitter people, they become bitter and angry about everything. She said that was the toughest time in their marriage.
DeleteI think they become selfish because they always want you around and feel alone most of the time, please bear with your husband it’s not easy to do but try, remember your vows and do it cus that’s the godly thing to do, forgive him for all he does and says
May God give you the strength to hold on amen
Push up (original)
Sick people needs lots of love,it can be depressing when they start throwing tantrums.Their situation always makes them bitter.🤗🤗🤗
Delete@Poster, 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗, the Lord will strengthen you, don't be mad at him cos he's not happy being in that condition.
DeleteMay God help you.
DeleteMassage his ego. He's scared and still trying not to feel hopeless, he still wanna exert his stance as the man of the house despite his condition, hence the arrogance. So don't treat him like an invalid.
ReplyDeleteVery emotionally unintelligent man
DeleteStella has said it all! E-hugs to you just reminisce in the good times you both share and don't be too hard on yourself.
ReplyDeleteWas he like this before
ReplyDeleteCause some of these men treat one like sheet and then fall sick and want to use strong face to cause you to serve them hand and foot
Say no
If he was good to you and sickness has made him difft then by all means it’s wsickness and in health
But if he was always rude to you and wants to use this sickness to continue his crazy, then tell him off quick
In fact where is your mother. Ask her to come stay for a week and see if he continues that rubbish in her presence
Some of us hide too much forgetting evil thrives in the dark. Sometimes you need a third party to stand up for you
Not only that you can get some relief from the work
That said get some help. While you’re attending to him get some help with the home. Does he have family sisters brothers etc. encourage them to come visit and hang out with him. Sometimes someone that’s limited physically like they just needs a day when their sickness is not all they think about
Let people come by to visit and cheer him up
Na was o
DeleteShe didn't complain about yesterday.
She talked about the challenges of today.
You choose to sow seeds of discord.
Bring her mother to police her husband to behave?
Generally, relatives who were always wanted away are always wanted around when the husband falls terminally ill.
Is that your suggestion?
Poster, may Almighty God reward your labour of love.
Madam 16:34 she said said arrogant and taciturn. Does that sound like someone that thinks her husband just became like this
DeleteYes I would call my mother to come help me. Not because she will yell at him for me but because it’s harder to treat the chick bad in the presence of the hen lol. Let your mothers help you on this marriage journey.
Let relatives come. All This we take care of our problems helps no one
Lol. Tell him nicely but clearly that a lil appreciation will go a long way
ReplyDeleteYes, he is in his selfish phase, tell him it isn't easy for you too
DeleteYes, he is in his selfish phase, tell him it isn't easy for you too
DeleteSending hug your way, you need to be more patient with him cos he is afraid that he is not what he used to be before now. Please ask the Holy Spirit to direct you, pet, and more love is all that he needs at this point. Never speak ill of him or said he is a burden to you at all.
ReplyDeleteKpele, I pray the Lord heals both of you. Assure him things will get better being on wheels is not easy most especially if you are the type that likes doing things urself. Continue to endure him and pray with him, encourage him and help him belief I himself that there's going to be a turn around for him. Do things that will motivate his spirit. My sister I know it isn't easy but with God all things are possible.
ReplyDeleteEyaa,Iam so sorry you are going through this,may The Lord engrace you🙏 it is not easy caring for a sick spouse,please show him more love, sometimes when people are sick,they tend to be aggressive,I remember when I came out of coma early this year...I was a little bit aggressive because I couldn't walk for a long time,cook,I couldn't even bathe my kids,I was incapacitated till March this year,but thank God for a caring and understanding husband,the love and care he showed ,made me love him more and respect him than ever.
ReplyDeleteMay God strengthen you,Iam sending you🤗🤗🤗
My dear this life is too short to be going through such emotional trauma..
ReplyDeletePlease divorce him ASAP let me see if he'll exhibit same attitude with the next person . How can you be sick and still be giving attitude instead of him to be humble?
Abeg move on with your life find one sweet guy to be giving you premium knacks
Listen to yourself!!! Omo, I just lost the respect I had for you.
DeleteNawaoo 🙆
DeleteIt seems you don't understand the writer.
U are really exhibiting the real meaning of ur name.
DeleteNot a nice thing to comment. 🤧
Delete@ Ekperima nga..You are very heartless.
DeleteTake breaks from him. Do not feel that he needs to have all of you when you are home. Hire help if you can afford it, for even the times when you’re home. When he gets into one of his moods walk away. Yes, he may be depressed and suffering but that doesn’t mean he gets to torment everyone. Give him sunshine therapy. If he can get outside let him sit outside for a bit sometimes. You did not say if the stroke affected his mobility or speech, but sunshine helps the spirits and also provides vitamin D which is very healing, so get him outdoors if possible.
ReplyDeleteVery true
DeletePele poster 🤗🤗🤗,God will continue to give you strenght and speed up your husband's healing,he is frustrated. You do not know the mental torture to depend on others.
ReplyDeleteHoly spirit will strengthen you. I pray for grace upon you.. 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗 🤗.
ReplyDeleteIt's a scary phase in marriage I pray never to experience.
Dear Poster, please first of all collect these hugs from me abeg 🤗🤗🤗🤗. It is well with you. I have heard of and personally seen a few people who make a hundred percent recovery from partial stroke and I sincerely pray your husband joins the statistics.
ReplyDeleteCaregiving is a physically, mentally and emotionally draining job which is why caregivers are always in high demand all around the world. Even for those who are strangers to their "patients", it could be tasking not to mention someone who is a spouse. It's not easy on you but please know that it's not easy on him either. To not be able to do the things that were a breeze to you or to depend on someone/people for the basics can be a torture, so please cut him some slack especially if he wasn't like this before the affliction.
The best bet is to get a live-in caregiver if you can afford one and depending on your location or ask him (if you live abroad) if he'd prefer to be in a nursing/care home so you can concentrate fully on the children and business while you visit him regularly and by regularly, I mean at least once a week and call him everyday to check on him. This may be a difficult situation if you both live in Nigeria as it will be termed abandonment by your inlaws.
Getting a resident caregiver if you have the means is the best option before things degenerate further between you two as you are obviously overworked and drained and he doesn't seem to appreciate your efforts.
Take care of yourself too and try to keep a happy disposition. Leave him sweet love notes before you leave in the mornings, kiss his lips and forehead before bed, keep telling him you love and appreciate him and that you've heard that people made full recoveries from his condition and that God will do it for him (use "us") too. Tell him how his "bad/nasty" mood is affecting your mental and emotional health and that things would be easier if he smiled and laughed more. Tell him it's not the end of the world and that you can't wait to go on a vacation with him when he is better. Call from work sometimes and ask him if he'd like a special treat like Chinese takeout or a particular ice-cream flavour. Lay hands on the affected part and pray for healing every time. Lay beside him and massage his neck gently while telling him how your day went and how you are recording how many massages he is owing you when he is better. Dear daughter of God, even Putin is not immune to the power of our purposeful sexiness and romance. He will "defrost and thaw" laslas. He may even shock you by weeping uncontrollably. Gather him in your arms and smother him with kisses. The man needs reassurance that he is not "useless" and he needs it from you most of all. Teach the children to be gentle and patient with him as well and God will come through for your family. That is, if he was a good husband and father before now.
However, if he'd always been a beast, a philanderer, STI distributor, callous, wicked, deadbeat, emotionally unavailable etc. and is now only home because his sidechicks have abandoned him to you and his fate, nne, go and dump him at a care home and damn side talks. Any member of his family that complains should take him in while you send upkeep allowance to them monthly. Let me see if they'd keep him for ordinary 3 months. If you take good care of your wife and family in the rain, they'd reciprocate when the heat of the sun comes down on you e.g. Olu and Joke Jacobs. Evil spouses should be taken to Old people's home when they become a liability or ask for their favourite sidechicks'/sidec*cks' contact so you can go and drop them there for further enjoyment. Na spouse wey calm down go enjoy good care and consideration when blues turn to reggae inside life. Those who know more about this kind of health situation will advise you further and may God come through for you.
I always look forward to your comments ♥️.
DeleteI never read finish, I had to pause to give 👍👍👍 to the commen
DeleteWisdom is not far from you
DeleteFor better (sidechicks, vultures)
DeleteFor sickness (long suffering, harassed and stressed wife)
Hypocrites where art thou dante
Mama ❤️ @Amebowork...you're a life saver. I learnt something from you today. Thank you 🙏
DeletePoster oga is scares and feels he shouldn't show his weakness even if its glaring.
ReplyDeleteHe still wants to feel like he is in control.
Life is hard already.
Take care of yourself, let him have his way sometimes, and other times make him feel he can do it and will be doing it very soon, also let him understand he needs to be taken care of and its not a bad thing
Madam pls keep talking to him and encouraging him with love and patience.
ReplyDeleteIf it's possible for u, try and take him out for sight seeing or comedy programs, anything outdoor to unwind. He is really stressed out mentally, but u are the most stressed out. Keep being positive and never giveup. God is ur muscle
Poster the lord is your strength.pls be patient with your husband, he is not happy to be in that state.its well.
ReplyDeleteMay God see you through
ReplyDeleteTELL HIS DOCTOR TO SPEAK VERY STERNLY WITH HIM, HOW DARE HE WANT TO DISTURB HIS MEDICATION PLAN? HE IS SICK NOT DAFT, NO EXCUSE FOR FOOLISHNESS AND UNGRATEFULNESS
DeleteWhen you see write-ups ,audios or videos that will educate him more on those things you are complaining about don't fail to share them to him so he could read and understand life better. Sometimes you may think that you have communicated effectively to him not knowing that your pattern of delivering the message wasn't effective until someone else come to pass the same message that you have been harping for years in just one day and he will accept them in delight just like a majic. These things sometimes are gifts or rather grcae and sometimes they are phycologicaly enabled.
ReplyDeleteWhat I would like to add to what everyone is saying is that you should consider him going for both Physiotherapy and psychotherapy.
ReplyDeletePhysiotherapy will help him a lot to regain physical function. If you can afford it, hire a private licensed physiotherapist to come work at home with him and also teach you some exercises you can do with him. YouTube can also help you figure out some exercises that will be helpful.
Psychotherapy for his behind because having a debilitating illness like stroke can wreck havoc on one’s mind.
I pray God helps you and your family
VERY GOOD ADVICE..Thank U.
DeleteYes, poster this
DeleteAww sorry dear, He's sick and angry that his body isn't his anymore, thereby lashing out at you.Its ain't easy, Just be patient with him yea, May God strengthen you.
ReplyDeleteYour observations about your husband is a common thing amongst people with paralysis. Just call down and give him more assurances that you love him more.
ReplyDeleteYou forger the most important thing.... PRAYER
ReplyDelete