Hmmm...
We live in Nigeria and my husband lost his job 3years after our wedding and he has refused to work and even when I gave him money for business he squandered it-
We have 4 children (the last 2 are twins) I am not earning much but I do private practice hustle which the company I work with must not know,I am the woman who posted Chronicles of confused pregnant woman in 2020.
The worst part is that he would vanish for weeks and when he returns he complains of malaria and I pay for his treatment at the order of his elder sister who complains I frustrated him out of the house, and nothing must happen to him-
I have finished making plans to move out but he keeps Coming home constantly to monitor my movements, what do I do please? He is frustrated because I no longer feed him since 1 month ago-
I stopped because the financial load is breaking me down..
Will he try to stop you if you want to move out?
Well get someone to be visitng you anytime he vanishes and be packing your things away little by little, you may not be able to park everything so take all what you need most.....
This does not make sense abeg and his sister is talking like she can take what her brother is doing from her own husband. It's your decision to make whether to stay or leave.
ReplyDeleteMadam you got pregnant 3 times in this situation? Yes, children are a gift from God but that was the first mistake you made. When you leave how will you cater for 4 kids? Are you that successful? I don't think leaving is the answer unless you earn well. I suggest you make him earn his keep in the house. Let him stay at home as the nanny and househelp while you run around and provide. Give him money for foodstuff and all that and let him do the cooking and taking care of the home so at least you are not that stressed out doing everything. By the way of you really want to leave you won't seek advice. When you get to your threshold you will move out quietly without asking Anyone. Above all seek the face of God in all you do.
DeleteAnon16:57 God bless you for this your comment! Dem no dey tell woman when to leave a useless husband! Even blind person knows when to run when there is trouble. Madam pack your load and vanish. But with 4 children in this economy na wah oo.
DeleteIs this even marriage?
DeleteIt’s like you people do not take advice even when given to other people
Get mopol people to follow you and get your things out of that house, because his family supporting his antics is wild
Push up (original)
16:57, She made a mistake of getting pregnant three times, yeah but your suggestion won't work because it's very obvious the man is very lazy, if he can squandered money given to him for business, qhicw other money can he not squander. Besides, the woman has been the one taking responsibility for everything in the house.
DeleteAnne K
Anon 16.47 will he do it? How will she force him to do it?
DeleteEvil spirit mr vanisher
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you just tell him you are tired and need a break?
ReplyDeleteIt’s so sad to read that nothing has changed in your life after your first chronicle. I get the feeling that your husband may have a mental illness, I wonder if his family knows and that is why his sister made that statement.
ReplyDeleteDo like Stella says, leave piece by piece and only focus on taking the necessities. Whatever you do keep your intentions to yourself. Too bad you do not have the financial means to move to a new state completely.
God help some men. How can you be comfortable that a woman is feeding you? God abegii help me keep my pride abi self confidence oh. 🤦🤦
ReplyDeleteIf you truly want to move out, it won't take you less than 3 days to pack your properties out of that house.
ReplyDeleteFirstly, get plenty empty rice bags and few Ghana must go bags. The Ghana must go should be for you and your children's clothes and other important stuff.
Rice bags should be for kitchen utensils and the rest.
By now, you should have made plans with trusted people who'll look after your children and also those who'll help you pack.
By now, you should have also made plans with the truck driver that will carry your load at once.
if you are planning to carry your load small small...poster abort that mission. You will be caught! Unless your husband eye no reach ground.
Whenever your husband vanishes as usual.. poster pack at once.
Hope this helps.
Good afternoon my yard people 😊
Poster pack at once,the next time he vanishes as usual pack everything at once and leave.
DeleteUpvote
DeleteMy dear she isn’t ready to move out, someone who is ready won’t even have the time for opinions, the exact reply she sick, someone has helped her comment it, that’s asking her not to move out yet because she can’t handle 4 kids all alone 😂😂😂 is she not already handling the 4 kids alone??? Women and suffer head, to be honest she wants us to tell her he will get better with time. Third chronicles loading
DeleteSimple
DeleteHe vanishes, returns back with malaria, and you pay for his treatment. 🤦♀️. My dear, look for how to move out, cos he's not going to change anytime soon. Your peace of mind, and your kids should be important to you.
ReplyDeleteYou need to speak and stand up for yourself. That his sister is a witch, call your family too, let them harass both him and his family, let them inform him that nothing must happen to you.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, people need a dose of their medicine, fire for fire.
He's doing drugs. That's their M.O
DeleteBlock the sister
DeleteGo , before he comes and strangles you and the children to death one day
Block the sister
DeleteGo , before he comes and strangles you and the children to death one day
All these lazy men seff they need to be taught great lesson, I mean how can someone be lazy and depends totally on someone in this Nigeria of today?
ReplyDelete"how can someone"
DeleteSo both male and female are included in your question right?
I am sorry that you are going through all this.
ReplyDeleteDo you have siblings, relatives or any support system?
The elder sister ordered what?
Is his family nor yours aware of the situation?
I hope and pray you get clarity soonest.
Please if and when we have friends, sisters and/or relatives going through circumstances like this, let's endeavor to help/support them in any way we can.
May God ease your burden
No.
DeleteNo non-family should help a married woman pack out of her matrimonial home especially when her life is no in danger.
Even when a woman's life is in danger in her matrimonial home, the proper steps is to report to her family and or the appropriate State agency. Most States now have agencies for such matters. In the worse case, go to the local welfare office in the Local Government Councils.
Any woman living with a man who is dissatisfied should take responsibility for her life with the man or by leaving by herself.
If this man hammer tomorrow, Poster will turn around to blame the people who help her move.
There is also something spiritually off when non -family members (especially men) help a woman leave her marriage. Decades ago, a prominent police officer helped a woman leave her marriage in Benin City. She came to Lagos State, rolled with drugs dealers and eventually pulled the man down from his exalted office. Those in their 50s+, know this story.
No need to tell a person living near the market that it is morning on market day.
If you really wanted to move, you would move when he disappears, not wait for him to come and monitor you.
ReplyDeleteYou never ready.
Thank you
DeleteMadam, he has involved his sister, have you involved any of your family? Make your decision, but get your own support system.
ReplyDeleteYou knew the kind of husband you married and didn't stop at 2 kids? God abegggg, some of you just like wahala in this life.
ReplyDeleteYou will know what to do when you are completely pushed to the wall, no be the advise you get here go help you based on the fact that you're still in that union 3 years after you sent in the first chronicle.
Somebody please help post the link to her first chronicle.
nawaoh...
ReplyDeleteSister sorry..this is a foundational problem from his side or yours..you people were never meant to be together.. did you seek God's face before marrying him? That going out in a week and coming back ain't ordinary..what wise couple do is to seek spiritual help together but theses days everyone just parts and thr priblem is not solved...you both are one now in flesh..you jabe done the deeds by getting married..you both should desperately seek solutions
ReplyDeleteWhere are you going when you leave?
ReplyDeleteIf you have a good destination carry non. If not stay put for now
Also you stopped feeding him a month ago. I would wait and see if he changes now. Stop all things that pertain to spending money on him. Some men think you’re their mother. If a mother gets tired of feeding her grown son, she stops feeding him and waits to see what happens next
You married wrong. The family is equally wicked.
ReplyDeleteI will ask you to leave the marriage but not without notice. Inform your family to call him and tell him outrightly that you need a break.
For your sanity and posterity, let him be aware. He can't stop you from leaving in one piece.
I wish you strength to be able to take care of your children in good health.
Inform him that what ? So he can come kill her abi?
DeleteIs he stopping you from moving on or out of the house? You really need to make a decision and stick to it
ReplyDeleteWhen a woman makes up her mind to leave a marriage or relationship, she does not seek advice nor second guess. She leaves.
ReplyDeleteGbam. As in, she’s not ready at alllll. Poster, separation is allowed until things get better. You have 4 kids to care for! Be very wise.
DeleteWhen she’s ready to leave she will. A man is like this and you keep birthing
ReplyDeleteYou’re not even ready to leave . Be there till you turn 50yrs looking like a 90yr old woman and celebrating 60yrs of marriage to pepper people. All this situation and you’re still asking JAMB questions?
ReplyDeleteThe part where the sis in-law said you frustrated the man out of the house got me thinking something different from the narrative you gave here. I won't judge you and I won't judge your husband for I am not sure if you filtered these complaints or not
ReplyDeleteOf course, she nags the man or shame him. No woman will tell that part. That does not mean what the man is doing is right if all she said is true. But certainly, the house is not a comfortable place for the man.
DeleteI would love to meet the woman who would not say pim if her husband has not worked for three years with no known medical issues, and she was shouldering all the financial needs on a low income. Yes, she could have said something, it could have been harsh, but is she unjustified in speaking up, even in anger at times. Three years is a long time to tap out, especially with young children.
Delete