RED FLAGS
Is it okay for a lady to be dating a guy in a long distance relationship, for over 1 year and he has never given her anything not even 1naira or let’s say data money?
Hmmm so many red flags... Whether you need his money or not, if hes not giving the little he has then its a redflag..
Is it okay for a lady to be dating a guy in a long distance relationship, for over 1 year and he has never given her anything not even 1naira or let’s say data money?
Since we both are always on call, he lives in abroad but he has never sent anything, don’t get me wrong I work and have a side business.
I have asked too not because I am broke but to see his response, and the same guy is beginning to ask for freaky freaky pictures, ladies is this situation the norms now…. thanks
Hmmm so many red flags... Whether you need his money or not, if hes not giving the little he has then its a redflag..
Asking you for nood photos?definitely a red flag, please move from this thing you think is a relationship
Your man should be willing to spend on you. You don't need to ask him. As per freaky freaky pic, let him use his imagination. Do not send any pic to him, even if it's your pinky finger.
ReplyDeleteLol..
DeleteHe should be willing..
She should also be willing..
Haba.. men didn't come to suffer oh
It goes both ways
DeleteLol @ Shady..
DeleteABI oh..
See candy saying he should use his imagination, let her also use her imagination for the money too nah😂😂
Like say we no dey meet babes wey them sef dry willingly tease person, cos them understand as e dey go.. the shy ones go use scope wear sexy stuff call you for video call so you go come whine them to take it off, or the ones wey go call no gree on light or lie under duvet come talk say dem no won on the light or conot for duvet cos dem dey naked.. as a sharp guy, you don grab say na understanding babe be this..
No be the ones wey want make you cure their greed but want make konji finish you🙄
Make Una kuku kill abroad guys o.some of Una need to come the abroad first before Una go understand something
DeletePoster, in whatever you do, don't forward your nude photos to him. Later na blackmail we go dey hear.
DeleteBy the way is this guy providing the type of leadership you desire in a partner?
If not tell him you expected more rather than participating in every single degrading demand he lays on the table. Most times you need to be sure that he isn't sabotaging what you guys have so that the relationship becomes a toxic one.
Mention your expectation once and move on , never nag. See if he would step up and do better by you or not.
Sope otilo
ReplyDeleteSha don't be unfortunate to send any freaky freaky picture, that's all I have to say.
DeleteYou is funny😁😁😁😁
DeleteHe shouldn’t be asking you for stupid pictures and you shouldn’t be asking him for money too or complaining about him not sending you anything.y’all need to change your mindset
ReplyDelete💯
DeleteDon't mind her.. and her colleagues here won't say the truth cos they want to be collecting without giving Lol..
Gbam shikena
DeleteAnon 15… help me tell poster and others. Na hand go hand come. Poster, you can also send him a gift.
DeleteHe wants to use your pics to cure konji.
ReplyDeleteABI oh..
DeleteShe want make conji kill Baba..
She's saying Baba is stingy, when she also is stingy to Baba's plight
Poster, When it comes to men and their willingness to spend on women they do so when they know and believe that there’s something (genuine affection, sexual intimacy, your commitment and submission) in there for them.
Deleteall of them do it.
For men in long distance relationships, you have to do more to prove your commitment to them. They don’t want to be your mugu.
Now, if they don’t have any interest in you, and it’s just platonic, he wouldn’t mind spending on you, but the moment he has more than a platonic interest in you he would want more confirmation and investment from you before he gives you anything.
Just like you, He is being transactional by asking for nudes. He doesn’t want to be your mugu.
Besides that, the truth in many long distance relationships is that; it involves a lot of phone sex. Some people would not admit that they did that but I’m telling you a lot of people, a very very high percentage of people who were at one point in time involved in long-distance relationship Had to do phone sex and send nudes.
unless you believe that you’re dealing with somebody that if you guys were in the same town, you wouldn’t have been intimate.
So long as he would’ve been sexually active with you if you were both in same town, then expect that, alternative (phone and nudes) would suffice.
It comes with the long-distance package. Don’t let anybody lie to you and don’t let anybody come here forming and pretending that is not what they would’ve done.
That is what some of them are doing in fact, most of them are doing, I’ll just tell you that when taking the nudes just take some precautions, do not show your face don’t show any notable birth marks don’t show any notable tattoos or anything in the background that can be identified with you.
Be smart about it you’re going to need that even when your relationship gets more serious and when you get married. Konji na bastard. Incase… you’re still interested in the relationship.
A serious partner in a long distance relationship who is not celibate would ask for nudes. It’s common practice in long distance relationships.
DeleteBut, Poster do your due diligence on him before, you proceed any further. He may be broke. Abroad life ain’t easy nor cheap. So, they wouldn’t bother with you if you show iota of Miss Independent.. I make my own money.
Deletewhat rubbish. which common practice... stop that habit ASAP if you do that shit...only a tacky ill mannered guy who has no sense will ask for a ladys nude.....poster run away from the he goat, he has no respect for you
DeleteLolll, 1 full year, you are dating a nothing.
ReplyDeleteAnd you had better not send any intimate pictures.
The nothing will use it to blackmail you later.
Count on it.
Probably has a longsuffering wife and kids somewhere and has the general dirty Nigerian male mindset that only when he is getting coochie, that is when he is in a relationship.
Na dem dem na, smellos.com.
Most Nigerian male gutter mentality.
DeleteIt's actually a farce. It's just their assumption to make the lady succumb even though she isn't ready for sex at that early stage of the relationship.
At the end of the day, you as a lady will not consider yourself but the guy's request for sex just bcz he's made you believe that that's when you are in a working relationship, whosai!🤣😅
You only end up being a sex donor/ boots call bcz you sef no dey ready and you engage in wetin no satisfy you. Babes, don't degrade yourself by adopting this gutter mentality.
Poster he is not genuine.
ReplyDeleteFree am.
Look forward you will meet a better somebody
Na wa oh. Are you a learner? He is asking for nude pictures, and you think anything good will come out of this? Poster bounce along. I am not a fan of Long distance relationship but see how he has exposed himself. Thank God
ReplyDeleteYou don’t know his financial situation where he is.A lot of people abroad don’t even have 1$ left after they’ve paid their bills and they live like that for years till things get better.you guys deserve each other sef,one is asking for porn and the other is asking for money.lol
ReplyDeleteDon't waste your time there.
ReplyDeleteA serious partner should not be asking for nudes. You'll get someone better, don't worry.
I believe any man/woman who are in a good relationship, should be able to help each other in times of need, If that doesn't happen, then it's not cool, I mean, What is love without sharing?
ReplyDeleteAnd whether he gives you money or not, Do not send him your freaky freaky pictures.
Lol..
DeleteBut as she needs help, the guy also needs help too..
Why Una come dey do like day the man needs no Matter
You don’t owe anyone anything until you are married.As a woman,don’t ask for money and men,no let your prick stand too till you say I do.
DeleteLol..
ReplyDeleteIf I talk name Una go chop me..
It is what it is tho..
But just know that one person cannot be sacrificing alone in a relationship, it makes the other person misbehave most times,. Na that time dem go dey do like ogbanje..
As KJV talk, if the sacrificing cannot be both ways, make Una hide your nakedness and make him self hide him wallat to avoid one person feeling used by the other..
But he hasn’t given anything na
Delete👍
Delete17.08
DeleteShe too hasn't given anything, but she's coming here to complain..
What exactly is the complaint for?🙄
Dante he can at least give a gift
DeleteHe would be the one to give first then she reciprocates after some time and if she doesn't he has the right to pull back so as not to be taken for a fool. Even my friends when I realise I am the only one giving gifts all the time I pull back
DeleteIn romantic situation the man made the first move, right? So let him lead first and she follows
You must be young.
ReplyDeleteits the norm of man (needs segz) meet woman (needs protection,money,kids)
all the rest in between those goals na serenre to get what they mostly want.
I needed soft loan to pay for penalty, my longdistancefriend helped, the next thing na to ask if my nyansh still big&send memes of bigbackside like a hormonal teenager, I quickly repaid the 40k when salad landed! Mind you, I lean towards asexual so such disgusts me, alsohe is married with a boatload of kids.
I still understand the woman's needs as the weaker sex&kids are expensive but I cant explain why men needs sex sooo much.
Lol..
DeletePlease, next time ask your female friends for the soft loans and leave men alone..
After all what does women supporting women represent?
Una go use bottom power collect money from man come dey pretend like say you no know why Baba drop the funds.. yahoo yahoo scope 😁
Which one be bottom power? You call it so bcz she has communicated clear a genuine need but that not enough for you you need to attach bumbum power to it b4 you get an understanding.
DeleteHow difficult is it for you to see and relate to the financial needs that every single adult has to uphold? Only money can solve them, not sex. Brothel full outside but no. SMH
This mindset needs to shift bcz it's sunken.
Original sugar girl
DeletePlease, be asking your fellow ladies okay? It's not only in insulting and bringing great men downfall that women should be supporting themselves in.. when e reach financial help, Una go run come meet men, why? If not because you want to use bottom power..
Dey play
Twisted mindset.
DeleteStop thinking that 100% women who genuinely need financial aid connect it with bottom power.
Or you are saying they should die in silence? Be human for once no be everything be gender war. Be realistic, you go get at least a daughter someday and you will leave her behind in this wicked world. That's where I an coming from. No community excels or achieves growth when they constantly take advantage of the vulnerable [women and kids].
This girls is not a prostitute for asking to see that this man is going to make a good provider.
Dante I disagree with you on this. I have lent money to male friends and I have borrowed too from male friends. I would be aghast if any of them made bumbum comments to me due to that, that's disgusting and will probably end the friendship. But that can never happen in my circle. When I borrowed though, I told him date of payback and it was less than a month. I paid immediately cos I hate owing. We're still friends...
DeleteAre you minding him? I took my male friend out to a restaurant. He has never given a dime before. Another time I dashed another money so the next day I am supposed to call them both to come and warm my bed?
DeleteThis dante even gave an instance when his female friend wanted to give him money because she found out he was broke. This guy refused her on the pretext that in the future she would brag about it and try to emasculate him. Can you see how he reasons? You don't give him money? Wahala.
you try to give him money wahala? He Justs want to nag and nag and argue
End whatever this thing is and redirect your energy to more productive pursuits. This is as dead as a cemetery and you know it. Forget gifts, you are wasting precious time. This is an illusion, move on while you are still young enough and have some attractiveness left in you. Don’t waste your time on dead end street when you could be meeting someone meaningful. Satan will use time wasting endeavours to steal your future. Be wise.
ReplyDeleteBest comment ever!!! Poster, can't you read people's body language in relationships. Just reduce contact, if and when he asks why, tell him you don't see a future with him and keep it moving. May the best man for you locate you soonest.
DeletePlease move on. You're dating yourself
ReplyDeleteWith the way the economy is in Naija right now, you have a boyfriend abroad who has never sent you anything, and when you asked, he's asking for freaky pictures in return?
ReplyDeleteGirl, block that guy
This is not a relationship please! A guy that loves you will be willing to spend for you whether you requested or not,
ReplyDeleteI've dated both the generous and & the stingy type, so I can tell you that love is giving. End this shit you call date & look for a real man that's ready to spoil you silly. Remember "his money is our money" right? Ok bye...
Yes love is giving meaning both ways.
DeleteLol..
Delete"Her kpekus is our kpekus" too..
I don laff tire for the comments for this post.. ladies, you people need to tell yourselves the truth sometimes mahn
There wasn’t a relationship to start with. Please move on! He isn’t serious 🧐
ReplyDeleteAll I know is, never you send your nude pictures to anyone, not even your own shadow
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Leave all those "abroad" guys. They have nothing to offer. They live from hand to mouth claiming taxes.
ReplyDeleteI just came back from a trip abroad. Got in touch with 2 abroad guys I met on SDK Sn M. They expect me to spend my money on transport to see them. All they ask for is pictures. I had to deactivate my whatsapp to avoid picture requests
and seeing rubbish. I blocked them after constant request for nude.Bunch of liers. I spent my money on vacation, reached out to you, you can't offer anything other than Sx.
If i were you Ignore him. You will realise he did not mean well for for.
Una no Dey shame sef.Man must do everything for you abi.you no fit pay your own transport because hole Dey between your legs.
DeleteThere are good ones abroad o
Delete16:58 you are wrong
DeleteIt’s normal behavior to pay to see the person that travelled to your town
If they want her to now spend money to come see them then they are useless
Who is that one shaming?
DeleteGod will if He hasn't already given you DAUGHTERS. Teach them to take your money and give to someone else's son in the name of supporting them in a situationship. Infact tell them that they must spend their hard earned money on men they are dating
What you will not teach your daughters quit shaming others for taking same stand, it is dumb.
Abort mission with immediate effect!
ReplyDeleteDon't give any nude photo o. Don't let anyone use abroad to lick all the stew from your plate.
ReplyDeleteThat was how my ex was forming long distance, i should send breast picture.
My mother's home training, no gree me send, even though the relationship was so serious and both families knew each other at that time.
Relationship sha pack up and i have been married to someone else for 2 years now. But i can't help but thank God i did not send yeye picture when love dey shack me that time.
Thank God for grace.
My sister you are right
DeleteYou don’t want had I known
you are certainly not in a relationship!dust yourself and quickly move on.best of luck!
ReplyDeleteMove on please
ReplyDeleteDelete everything about him from your life now my sister. Are you taking all this shitnbecause he is in abroad?
ReplyDelete*Are you taking all this shit because he is in the abroad?
ReplyDeleteBecause he's a married man and that 's on period.
ReplyDeleteAnon 16:38 what information in the chronicle suggested he’s a married man? Stop projecting your trauma of a married man deceiving you on her!
DeleteNude pictures 👎.
ReplyDeleteDo not just run oh, FLEE 🏃🏃🏃🏃🏃
ReplyDeleteRubbish! You are not in a relationship. Is he that broke? I send my friends data money from time to time because I understand times are tough especially in naija. Confront him please. If you continue like this, it will follow you into marriage and you won't like yourself. The guts to ask for nudes. I made this your mistake with my exes and I'm never doing that again.
ReplyDeleteHave you read the recent case of revenge porn between a woman and a business man?
ReplyDeletethat guy is not into you or he is only there to get your nude pictures. No matter how little the money, data or gift maybe your man need to gift you something. Just do not place all your eggs in his basket cos this one will chop and clean mouth. Never you share your nude pictures with him, do not call him when you are bathing or naked.
ReplyDeleteU are not in a relationship but situationship,what does he need freaky freaky pictures for? To avoid blackmail in the future,run for your life
ReplyDeleteLol .
ReplyDeleteLet me ask a honest question from those above who have dropped comments..
How many of you here haven't sent nudes or isn't still sending nudes.. make Una talk truth..
If you're doing it sha, no let your face show,send it in a way it can be used against you, and lastly, don't do such with fvck boys.. you people would share nudes with yahoo and immature boys because of cash and then now come and start complaining of revenge porn..
Mtcheew🚶🚶🚶
Never asked never sent NEVER
DeleteI have never sent a nude picture, not even to my husband, there you have it.
DeleteNot everyone is morally bankrupt or foolish in the name of lust.
DeleteAbroad guys don’t necessarily think of sending you money cause that’s not something g that’s done here where I am
ReplyDeleteIf you want to test him, ask him to send something to you through someone that’s coming. Like a perfume you like etc. if he can’t do that, then you can say he’s stingy but I don’t see stingy in not sending money
I don’t expect a u.s guy for example to think of that and I know many of them here. I’d consider a bit weird for him to just give me money
However don’t send nudes oh. People get too comfortable online. I won’t say block him I’ll just say tell him no
If he refuses to continue cause of that then move on. My friend saw the guys nudes on video call and showed hers and they got married . But just know you are playing with fire if you do it
Thanks for pointing out the cultural differences. Firstly NEVER take pics of yourself nude and NEVER send such to anyone. Never. As to money, was he born or raised abroad? American kids do not understand why anyone should send money to another unless it’s a fundraiser for something. They gift though. I can’t count how many times I’m asked “why” when I sent stuff or money to Nigeria. It’s not a culture of “handouts” and some women will feel insulted if you just dash them money unless it’s like “I’m going to gift you free utility by paying for it this month” or buying perfumes and gifts. Just a cultural difference that plays itself out in many multigenerational households here and why some will never give relatives their grown up’s phone numbers. Naijas will be offended while they will be outraged at any monetary request.
DeleteHowever love gives. You can’t love & date without giving and love doesn’t make you do wrong like those pics. You don’t seem to be in a relationship. Read 1 Cor 13, the love chapter.
Poster I don't think he's ready for a serious relationship with you.its advisable not to rush into marriage with him.
ReplyDeleteYou are on a long thing and you are holding on because you are hoping for marriage. You should end that nonsense illusion.
ReplyDeleteAbeg forget this guy, he is not serious, abroad no bad reach like that. Move on.
ReplyDeleteI’m based abroad and dated a guy in naija I sent him a gift on Valentine’s Day through a random vendor on IG. Yes I took the risk for him. He sent me nothing throughout the 3 year relationship. The gift I sent was at the beginning of our relationship o so I too just matched his energy after that. Towards the end of the relationship he told me with his own mouth that he spends on his baby mother so basically his money goes on her and I got zero effort. I never ever asked him for nothing because I can buy myself anything I want and he knows it. The relationship sha ended and I have my peace back. He lives in Lekki and forms big boy but will tell me he can’t spend on me because I want to send him back to his village because of exchange rate.
ReplyDeleteDante won’t see this comment and I’m sure there are many of women who spend on men but won’t comment.
Aunty I see your comment clearly.. I no dey run from comment, unless na dumb comment..
DeleteWhat I won't agree with you is saying there are MANY women who spend one men blablabla....
Wrong..
Very wrong..
Even this poster in the one year sef no give anything too..
You ladies always exaggerate your stuff, a woman in 10 would feed her household, next thing is to start shouting that many women are now feeding their households, just cos one in 10 did it..
That's the same with this your scenerio
So that’s the only point you could address in my comment.
DeleteBye
You live abroad still dey date Naija man in Naija, I honestly don’t know what it is with some women and Naija men
Delete00:42 you can find love anywheee
DeleteLeave people alone
Anon 00:42 I’m Nigerian so what do you expect?
DeleteAnyway I no longer date men in Nigeria haaaaa abeg it’s an extreme sport
9:37 you noticed too -that was the only thing he focused on he ignored every other thing you said. That is why I don't engage him and I am hardly moved by his rants. He is selective with his replies.
DeleteHe tries to think his views are balanced but at the end he is as biased as those he drags
Don't ever send nood pix to anyone.
ReplyDeleteInfact don't take nood pix at all at all,
It will come back to hurt U
In life you must choose if you want worldly dating or Christian dating - there are no two ways, no lukewarmness, you must decide. If you are a Christian, know that you are in the world but not of the world ie do not be ignorant to what goes on around you.
ReplyDeleteWorldly dating is very transactional.. sex from woman = money from man. If you date someone with that mindset, his expectations from you involve sex, and where you are not around, nudes and phone sex. On the other hand, Christian dating is celibate, so no sexual expectations and correspondingly, no money expectations. There could be low cost/affordable gifts from both sides, but nothing expensive or over the top, cos that is not the purpose of dating. Being a Christian is a call to leave the world and self behind, so your provisions and fulfillment comes from God and not your partner. It requires a mindset change and most importantly you will need to date a fellow Christian who applies these principles, that way you won't throw pearls to pigs.
Thank yo!
DeleteThey want worldly dating from the guy and Christian dating for themselves.. they won dry collect money and gifts but no won do well..
Mbanu... Both can't mix,.
It's the same way I talk about the kind of marriage one want..
Either you want a 21st century marriage, biblical marriage or you want it to be guided by tradition..
All have their rules, you can't want to be a 21st century wife and want your husband to be a traditional husband..
You just dey whine yourself.. you go argue for SDK blog tire