UNGRATEFUL PARENT
Good day SDK and lovely Bvs.
If I sent money to my mom in the morning as early as 6:00am,and I waited till night expecting she will call me to acknowledge it,she wouldn't. If I should call her in the night to ask,it's either she will say she is about calling me or the alert just entered whereas she has already spend the money.
I know this because that's what she says everytime, that was then I suspected it's not true.After I had noticed that, I started sending money to my sister's account (the one living with her),that one will withdraw and give it to her.
My sister 's account got hacked, anytime money enters the account she won't know how the money will disappear,to the extent someone use her number to collect loan from loan apps. I return sending money to my mum's account,but when I send I will ask my sister to check if she has received it and that one will confirm the money has enter, but my mum won't call me until after 3-5 days and she will be saying she is just seeing the money.
The one giving me concerns is that she has extended the attitude to my husband, I will be the one to cover up for her, telling my husband that she has called me to acknowledge the money,that she called my husband's phone but it wasn't going through,which is a lie.My husband's parents are not like this,when I send them anything,infact they they will go as far as telling their other children and those ones will call me to thank me .
Seriously, I'm fed up of this my mum attitude.
Hmmmmmm...
Why must your mum call to thank you?Cant you bless her without waiting for thank you? why is this an issue? I am sorry if i dont agree with you but when my dad was alive, I didnt encourage him to always call and thank me , i just told him ''PAPA WHEN YOU RECEIVE THE MONEY PLEASE PRAY FOR ME AND I AM FINE''... So i converted the thank yous to prayers...
And even if she does not pray, God will still bless you!
Try this and stop this attitude!
My two cents please!
Poster I understand that you want to be acknowledged for sending money to your mom. However, if this is how she is, then let it slide. The most important thing is you don your part by honoring her, if your husband sends his just thank him on her behalf.
ReplyDeleteWith your tone, I see that you are not very close with your mom or you might be having some challenges. Also asides from sending her mommy, call her from time to time to know how she is faring then you tell her about her not acknowledging when money is sent to her..
All the best and God bless you
It’s actually rude not to show appreciation, someone like me I won’t bother myself, sometimes I send money and when they are calling to show appreciation I cut the call cus I know what the call is about.
DeleteBut since you are bothered about it, speak to your mum, let her know you don’t like it, especially towards your husband, it’s just one kind
Push up (original)
Stella please that's you, poster's mum is just an ungrateful woman.
DeleteIt's not hustle about the saying 'thank you', what about at least acknowledging she has received the money?
And she even extends the attitude to her son in law, o wrong nau.
Poster tell her to at least acknowledge when she receives money from either you or your husband, that is the adult thing to do.
It's very rude of her mum not to show appreciation. A simple text of,have seen the alert or a 1min call goes a long way. My mum acknowledges any money sent to her account. Her gratefulness, makes us give her more. Just because she appreciates our efforts towards her.
DeleteI agree with you Stella 💯
ReplyDeleteI told my Mom too ( keep resting 🙏) that I don't need the thank you, that her HAPPINESS is my priority. She resorted to announcing to the whole world. I never knew till she passed, everybody was asking who is O........
I stand with Stella on this one, I don't need my mother to call me anytime I sent money to her or send card to her. I will only tell her that I sent something so so and so so day, and then she will say thank you. Sometimes my mum self no dey know when money enters her account self. You are just making a mountain out of a mole hole. What's wrong if you send money then you call and inform her will that make you a lesser person or reduce your money?? Our parents have given so much for us but whenever we do any little thing for them we start counting them. Ungrateful daughter or proud daughter should have been the caption. I hate what I don't like
DeleteIt’s always good to acknowledge anything sent to you so as to let that person know you have received it, it’s not just about gratitude. These days you never know if they received it or not
DeletePoster, be patient.
DeleteIn those days, parents will receive gift items from their kids through someone, and what the children were after was... thank God Mama/Papa received the gifts.
So far the person delivered it to them, the children were okay.
Poster dose not want the thank you. You guys should read and understand, her mum always feels reluctant to acknowledge anything done for her. Her daughter can stomach that,but not the husband, since his own parents are appreciative of same gesture done to his parents.
DeleteIf she doesn't have any issue with her health like forgetting things,I think that her attitude is a bad one.
ReplyDeleteDespite the fact that I stay close to my parents they would always acknowledge not turning a blind eye.Its an ungrateful attitude, probably she feels what you are sending is not enough or small.
When my late grandma was alive,you would send her card,she will almost finish the card on prayers and thanking you,one will be happy to send more next time.
God bless you.Our parents are mostly entitled these days and it’s very bad.some will force you to marry who they want,try to control your life,want you to buy them a car before you buy for ur wife and all these nonsense reeks of entitlement and is disgusting.Poster just do what you want to do jare.I have one that will only call you when she needs money,doesn’t check up on you,doesn’t care what happens to your life but will call you 100 times when she needs money.We need to emancipate ourselves from parental slavery and manipulation.
DeleteThank you o, my mum will send a message every SINGLE time she receives money from either myself or husband and shower us with prayers.
DeleteMy God what sort of irritating chronicle is this??? So every Time she must call you?? She is tiredddddd. Do it from your damn heart and stop waiting on thank you!! You’re annoying abeg.
ReplyDeleteI am the chronicle poster. It's not about the 'thank you'. It's just for me to be sure she receive it.You know how bank network can be sometimes. You will send money ,you will be debited and the receiver will not get it.
DeleteDear BV's what the poster is asking for is not too much, acknowledge you have received the money not even a thank you, since her mother has turned it to habit ,the poster should ignore her mummy and move on.
DeleteI do not think,she is annoying,she only wants to be acknowledged.
DeleteI think after sending someone anything,the recipient should acknowledge,which is only fair. Appreciation is a beautiful trait.
DeletePoster I understand your point quite well.
DeleteIf it's something you do monthly that she is sure you will send. Hold it on and maybe for two or three months and know if she will ask why you don't send money to her again. If she does then explain yourself to her and reason why you want her to alert you when she gets tired the money.
In the other hand if she does ask please send all the money with the present month to her and keep doing the calling later to confirm.
Good idea @agoro. Let me add that she shouldn't bother asking for acknowledgment for like two months; then the next month she should withhold sending anything to the mum and if the mum complains that she hasn't received the money the poster should tell her that the money has been sent and maybe it was credited to the wrong account. She should put the blame on her mum that assuming she acknowledges money sent to her, it would have been confirmed within 5minues of sending the money to the wrong account.... Wo, I don't know what to say again.😴 If you have another sensible idea to this approach please add.
DeleteYou guys don't understand,thank God the poster has replied she is not craving for the thank you ,it's cos of network at least if you were debited and the receiver did not receive it you can at least know how you go about it. Besides the end product of any communication is feedback, courtesy demands you acknowledge coming g from parents everybody knows how theri own function is just to find a way around it ,poster since you re using your sister to confirm just leave it like that , everybody can't be the same see how your in laws are reciprocating if your is not like that leave am, you no go kill am.
DeleteMy dad own you ll send sometimes he will spend cos we normally send money to him other times he will acknowledge with prayers, so what we did was we LL send a message that we ve sent money , it's cos there was a day I sent money via pos he said he did not see it madam pos abeg check the woman said she has sent it show me everything from her bank app, I now told him oya go your bank only for him to call back my daughter I withdrew money in the evening I said and dad you allowed me to be running up and down , so once we send money we LL send a message ,that way he acknowledged and say received.
Poster leave her that's her life as far as your sister is confirming the receipt no problem
Sometimes is not the thank you, sometimes banks fail but you are debited, how do you know the person got alert? Acknowledging you got money is not the same, Stella she didn't insist on thank you
ReplyDeleteLol..
ReplyDeleteBig Stellz, I think it's not actually the "thank you" she wants, but just an acknowledgement that she has received the money..
For this country wey you fit transfer money give person and the person no go receive am..
But I believe she's not supposed to wait for her mom to call for confirmation.. nothing stops you from calling your mom to confirm that the money has entered her account..
No go dey form boss dey wait make she call cos na you send funds..
Na your Mama, see it as her weakness, you should also tell your husband so he'll understand too.. this one for be big ish if na outsider, but as na your momsi, na samll thing abeg.. lock up the matter
I like this (see it as her weakness) Dante. 👍🏽
DeleteHow person go do na? She's your Momma. Take her as you see her cos if you wait from now till tomorrow, she won't change if she doesn't want to.
Call her after sending to confirm she has seen it and lock up. Well done, poster.
God bless you, poster for doing right by her. Don't stop please.
Fully well said @Dante. Nothing to add.
DeleteThe mom is expected to call to confirm she received the money. Even if she won't say thank you just let her daughter know she received it.
ReplyDeleteExactly!!!!!
DeleteWhy do you refer to you sister as, “that one”? I do not know if it was a cultural terminology, but to me it is strange. Perhaps there are deeper issues in your family of far greater importance needing to be addressed. There seems to be some contempt between you and your mother and I doubt it started with this money business. Until you get to the root of the issue nothing will get truly resolved.
ReplyDeleteIt’s just English no harm intended
Delete@stella and those that don’t agree with poster everyone can’t do things the way you do so this is who she is and she’s not happy with it, so rather than berate her empathise with her. My mum is like this too nothing is ever enough for her even if you cut your head for her so I’ve resorted to facing my front when I’ve done my bit
ReplyDeleteSome people have this horrible sense of entitlement, asides the acknowledgement, poster deserves a thank you please.
DeleteI do not have a right to my child's money, she did not ask to be born, na me want mini me, and since I decided to shook my head in to born then I should be aware that I will be fully responsible for that child with no expectations of getting back from her like it's my right.
We all just pray to have children who will be kind enough to acknowledge all the struggles over them in the past years and reciprocate all that we showered on them.
We all are humans and like to be appreciated once in a while, so I do not see it as a problem if this poster wants a thank you once in a while from her mum.
Do we even know the struggle this poster goes through to send her that money everything she does? Abeg o.
Anon 15.21, please continue to face your front, Jesus already died for us all, you are not Jesus.
Well said dainty t. When our parents were giving us we must say thank Ma/sir if not na heavy beating so why won’t we want thank you when it’s our turn? My mil was like this till I borrowed myself sense and stopped sending I just lock up. Her son too complains I just side eye him.
DeleteDear poster, I suggest you call your mum like an hour after sending her money just to confirm receipt. Don't try to make her appear ungrateful.
ReplyDeleteMy mother would call to thank me,my dad too,all my siblings will hear about it. It makes me happy and fulfilled,not that it look forward to it but that my little giving is acknowledged I grew up like this.
ReplyDeletePoster it's painful to not hear thank you but this shouldn't breed resentment for your mom,love you through it and receive grace to ignore
Your write up has undertones of little confusion ,do you think your mom attacked your sisters account or is behind it?
Just asking no offense intended
I think poster jst want to be sure if the mum has received the money or not so she can be sure.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can pay her a visit and spend some quality time with her, jst maybe dats wat she needs .
Some people quality time is their love language not money.
Parents or not, it is always good to appreciate when someone does something for u, no matter how little.
ReplyDeleteMy parents will use calls to disturb me to thank and pray for me anytime alert enters.
My MIL’s own is the worst, she will thank u a hundred times and I will keep telling her it’s enough that this is normal na but she will say lai lai, appreciation makes one even want to do more when required (this is very true).
Poster, maybe u need to speak with ur mum and be very straight about what she’s doing. Even if she doesn’t call to thank u her child, what about her Inlaw that actually doesn’t have such responsibility towards her but sends money all the same.
She also knows she is wrong and that’s why she covers up by saying she was just about to call
Thank you jare!!!
DeleteEven the Lord our saviour who has everything under his capacity still wants we his beloved children to thank him and show appreciation in the little and large things, to not talk of we mere flesh.
Make everybody dey do like say thank you nor dey make dem happy na. Omo me, I will tell you o. Shebi when we were growing up, they wanted to kill us with training on how to say thank you? You will carry your food, "thank you mummy, diwo", drop your plate, "thank you mummy Diwo", give mummy cup of water, "diwo", collect the cup to return, "diwo", mistakenly take one second to forget to say thank you, "you see how you nor sabi greet?"... Then after all the training to love appreciation, you go come nor sabi show am too? Never!
DeleteYou are all kind of misunderstanding poster....the acknowledgement she means is not thank you, but just to say oh I received what you sent, thank you and prayers can follow.
ReplyDeleteMy mother in-law is exactly like your mum...if I like let me call her after 2 days, she will still claim she hasn't checked her phone...so in my 8 years of being married to her son, I've understood her person, so I always call each time I send money to her no matter how many times in a month.
She extends this attitude to even foodstuffs, she will never call me to tell me they have picked up the waybill of stockfish and crayfish I buy and send to her, until I call. So I stopped wasting my time and efforts in sending the foodstuff, I now send only money, if she likes let her claim she hasn't seen it when she has, that one concern her, so long as the money dey her account.
It’s not the thank you
ReplyDeleteIt’s cause with Nigerian systems not being reliable you can’t even be sure the person got it. If mama said oh I got it and forgot to tell you it’s one thing
But mama will now lie that it just came through.
Poster was initially wondering what’s wrong until she finally figured out the mother knew what she was doing
Poster knows her mother and problem about thinks her mother is shading the money as not being plenty or worthy of acknowledging
All these 'window dressing love' people display these days is very irritating. When both of them were sacrificing for you, did they ask for thank you? We can never thank our parents enough. And it's a privilege to be able to reciprocate that love as adults quietly. The prayers in their heart even without uttering it goes a long way. And even if they did not care for you, be grateful to God for the grace to be able to send something to them.
ReplyDeleteBut it's their responsibility to sacrifice for the kids they brought into life
DeleteActually they did ask and we also thanked them
DeleteI don’t know how you were raised but my parents trained us to say thank you
I am not the poster
If they don't sacrifice for her, who will? Did she ask to be born? Pleaseee.
DeleteIf I don't want to sacrifice for my child, why did I bring her to this world ehn?
So who else will sacrifice for the child? Is is Maimunat selling kparaga down the road? Did the children ask to be born?
DeleteNigerian parents always acting as if you are doing their children the greatest favours by raising them.
Who una wan leave to raise them before??? Who suppose sacrificefor them
Always moving ferociously from the pendulum to the next. If they're not viciously beating up their children based on frivolous stories they hear outside, they are counting every morsel that passes down their throat so they can rack up their you-owe-me-sheet. Mtshewww
"And even if they did not care for you, be grateful to God for yadi yadu yagu". Hogwash. Trauma is that you screeching???
Your feelings are valid poster. I feel what you are asking for is acknowledgement of money received and not just the thank yous. She lies about when the money is received so you feel hurt.
ReplyDeleteSince you know how she is please just ignore her, thank God your inlaws show you the right way it is done.
Keep covering for her with your husband and please let go for your own peace sake.
If we teach our kids how to make use of the magic word ‘Thank you’ I wonder why the grown ups can’t imbibe it.Its just good manners ,forget about the relationship.
ReplyDeleteGratitude is a powerful emotion that has to be expressed when one receives a gift. It does not matter if they are your parents or siblings. I have cut people off my life because of it. Speak to your Mom and let her know the importance of gratitude. Eto dike na nke omelu omekwaya ozo (Igbo proverb)
ReplyDeleteIf you send money to your parent,the right thing to do from the parent is to acknowledge and say thank you.The Bible says honor your parents,it didnt ask them to be entitled,so it says more about the parent than the child if they refuse to show appreciation.
ReplyDeletePoster why you dey manufacture trouble like this na?
ReplyDeleteIf you send your mama money you suppose call & be like mama I just send uou money now, you don see the alert?
You shouldn't expect her to kneel down & Greet you.
Even if she feels what you sent is not enough you should pray to have more so you can do more.
Don't bother about all those things again.
Na wa
DeleteHian which kain ,so if what you sent it's not enough you ll go and rob a bank to send more, thank God for where I came from the tiniest of the minutest is appreciated,.
DeleteThere's nothing wrong in parents thanking their children when money is sent to them. Acknowledging the money is appreciation on it's own. Some families are like that, the parents thank and pray for their children upon receiving money.
ReplyDeleteIt's good to call to acknowledge the money because of the things happening in the country.
Even God likes a grateful heart.
She should acknowledge that she has received the money so that the senders will be sure that the money is not mistakenly transferred to another person.
ReplyDeletePoster please you should talk to her on this. If airtime to call you with is the problem,she should flash you anytime she receives the money
Dear poster, I can understand the importance of your mom acknowledging that she received the money you sent. I would want my parents to do that the few times I send them money too. In my case, I send money through someone, and it’s a relief to know they got it. I would rather their souls bless me rather than their mouth say thank you to me. Although, I get prayers and thank you sometimes. Don’t be bothered by this, it’s not mandatory she confirms receipt of the money immediately.
ReplyDeleteYou may want to inform her of the importance of telling you she receives the money on time. Which can be to stop you from worrying that something may have happened and she didn’t get the cash. I had to check severally if the money I sent to vendors got delivered while I was home, recently. More so, please don’t compare your parent reaction to the money you sent to that of your in-laws: people are different and act differently. This is your mother we are talking about, except there’s more to this matter, I see no reason why you should take it too seriously.
Though she is your mom, but she seems entitled. And probably feel she deserves more from what she's getting.
ReplyDeleteMy advice. Just ignore and continue because you owe her as your mom.
Whenever you send. Assume she has received it and face front.
Talked with someone recently who was reporting her son and I had to blame her...
She had a need of 200k, d don sent 50k saying that's what he has for now. coincidentally she received the money on her birthday.
She was then expecting the son to send another money for "happy birthday" when he didn't and only wished her, she became angry and said why couldn't he send something for her birthday.
Honestly, it didn't make sense to me. Because he is also a family man with kids with an average income. I had to tell her my mind ooo.
Meanwhile, my mom even if it's 5k or airtime you send her, she will call and take several minutes praying for you. The prayers no be here ooo.
This propels me to want to do more. Bend over for her.
.
Poster,I beg you, this is a woman who risked her life to bring you into the world. Yes, she always fail to acknowledge money sent to her.she may have her reason for this unpleasant act. Why don't you discuss it with her?pls don't be tired of calling her. You are sowing a seed, your children will also take care of you when you are old. As a mother, our prayers is for us to eat the fruit of our labour.it is well.
ReplyDeleteSorry, they cannot say, thank u sef is a problem and some people are saying it’s not necessary because they are ur parents. You people are really great at encouraging bad behavior.
ReplyDelete👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
DeleteO su mi o Eka, I taya.
DeleteEvery Time you send her money please call her and tell her you did before they'll eat you raw here. If your husband sends her money, call her and remind her to call your husband and acknowledge receipt of the money. Shikena
ReplyDeleteI can never agree that it’s ok for a parent not to acknowledge you’ve sent them money and it’s simply this African parent entitlement thingy.
ReplyDeletePoster don’t send your mum money for the next 2 months, and see if she won’t call to ask ! Even ordinary airtime I’ll send to my mom she’ll almost exhaust everything praying for me when she calls to thank me
By now you should understood your Mum. Don't bother your little head
ReplyDeletePoster,
ReplyDeleteI can see how you feel. It really touches.
In as much as you're not actually expecting a gratification, I want to agree with you that it shouldn't be too much for her to acknowledge the receipt (taking clue on the experience of your Sister even.)
I have a Boy in Boarding School, whenever I send his upkeep money to his Guardian, with Whatsapp Screenshot, even with reasonable extra on top, yet he won't acknowledge.
What I just did was to send the money to my wife. So, my wife takes care of the sending.
It's not easy to get money please. People should appreciate any little gesture extended towards them. It will ginger the person to even do more.
Poster, she's your Mum, just keep doing it. You'll get the reward.
Take care.
@KSB Truth.
Dear poster, it's actually sweet and fulfilling when your Mom calls to acknowledge receipt of the money and pray for you but seeing the way things are, tell her how you feel especially towards her in-law so she can change and let it be.
ReplyDeleteIf she doesn't change, do your part and follow-up with a call, then face you front. God will keep blessing you, dear. No worry yourself. It's sad but you can't keep feeling this way, it's not the best place to be, I must say. Cheers.
I’m so surprised at these comments.
ReplyDeleteMy son is just 6yrs old and I make sure to be verbally appreciative of every of his thoughtful gestures both small n big.
That was how I was raised too. My parents always acknowledge and appreciate whatever little things I do for them from time to time even with them not really needing anything from us, but they would still call or text to express gratitude.
It’s a virtue.
It’s actually a stinking attitude to not appreciate or even acknowledge such gestures just because she’s a daughter and the parents has invested in her.
Ah tor! You will always know those who were raised with entitlement mentality or lack of basic manners.
DeleteAs in thank you, ordinary THANK YOU is too heavy for a mouth to say? Because ehn is your parents, because kpe they took care of you, awon doweetforgurd, shior kelebe throwaway
Indeed wisdom is not by age.
Poster since you understand that this is her attitude I think you and your husband should ignore her. Just make sure the money is sent to her account, ignore if she doesn't acknowledge it. Any day she calls you just respond normal and stop waiting for her call to acknowledge money you sent to her.
ReplyDeleteIf I send my mum money I don't even expect her calls, some times she will be telling me after weeks that she got the money I sent to her. I know she is always praying for me cos she knows that if she doesn't nothing will come in from my angle.
What about me, na go send money to my mum, na me go still call ask her weather she don see am. I no even take am as anything.
ReplyDeleteLet me send you money and you don't thank me I'll cut that person the fuck off. I hate ingratitude
ReplyDeleteMe too I cut off with very sharp cutlass sef🤣🤣Thank you doesn’t kill
DeleteI'm done! You can't be making me feel small, like "is this what other kids do for their parents? How much you send me when you take dey find thank you?"
DeleteNah, I don't like stress in life abeg. Imagine not being appreciative when growing up. My mama go so flog your life 😁
Don’t bother your pretty head poster, continue to do your best and God will bless you. You can also adopt Stella’s approach for your peace of mind.
ReplyDelete...whether you are an adult or child, parent or sibling, old or young...if someone gifts you something and you cannot say "thank you" you are badly behaved. Know this and know peace! I do not know your financial status but clearly your mother is expecting more, what you are giving her right now is not worth her appreciation. Keep doing what is within your means. Your concerns are very valid!
ReplyDeleteLeo inspired!
Gbam!
Delete