STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SERIOPUS ADVICE NEEDED
I have been married for four years now and I'm currently trying to conceive. I recently had an IVF that failed and I'm still emotionally down from it. My uncle who is a pastor came into my location and visited me. He didn't like the way he met me and said we he would like to hold a prayer vigil with me and my husband.
Stella,pls keep me anonymous. I need some input from you and BV's on a matter that is really disturbing me.
I work and live in a different state from hubby,though not too far. I was actually living in his location but I moved to a neighbouring state when I had got a good job offer. I rented an apartment and we alternate weekend visits between our two locations-
I have been married for four years now and I'm currently trying to conceive. I recently had an IVF that failed and I'm still emotionally down from it. My uncle who is a pastor came into my location and visited me. He didn't like the way he met me and said we he would like to hold a prayer vigil with me and my husband.
I informed my husband but he said he couldn't come down to my location that weekend cos he was busy. So my uncle and I held the vigil and it was really what I needed. Towards the end of it,my uncle said God told him we should extend to three day prayer vigil instead of the initial one night we had planned. That meant that my uncle would have to spend the weekend in my house .
I Informed my husband of the new plan the next and all hell broke lose! He vehemently objected without any good reason that my uncle had no right to extend the prayer vigil to three days without his consent,especially as he wasn't there. That it was not proper for a pastor to hold vigil for that period without the husband's consent.
He called my uncle and told him to cancel the vigil ,though he had no objection to my uncle staying the weekend at my place. My uncle had to plead with him to let us continue the vigil as the Holy spirit directed so as not to truncate the blessings God wanted to release to us. My husband didn't say yes or no,so we continued with and concluded the vigil.
I was not happy with my hubby about the whole thing and we ended up quarelling. He says I am too authoritative and do what I want without caring that he as the head of the family should be the one taking such decisions. And that if he says no,then that will be final.
Mind you this pastor is my dad's younger brother who just pitied my condition. So what was inappropriate about him holding a 3day vigil in my house without my husband being there? I felt he is being extra and have refused to apologies cos I didn't do anything wrong here.
Pls,I need the opinion of my matured BV's here. Am I wrong? Is he right?
Hmmm.... Your husband over played it but if he said No, then your Uncle should have dropped it..I dont know why he would say no to prayers but if one party is saying no and one saying Yes, who will God answer? such prayers should be when the couple is bon in mind and spirit... I am with your husband on this, I am not saying you are authoritative oh, just saying next time, let him play his role...You dont have to apoligise but will your teeth fall down if you do? if you are quarelling what time will both have to gbensh and make the baby? Make peace before it spirals into a bigger quarrel...
Good luck.
I agree that the moment ur husband objected, you should have either done everything within you to convince him or told ur uncle to postpone it till he’s around.
ReplyDeleteI also understand ur need to ignore and continue with ur prayer, only a wicked being will not understand the pain and desperation a TTC woman goes through and how they will explore every viable option to conceive and urs is even one of the good options sef.
Brings me to the question of why ur husband objected. Why did he object? Have u all carried out tests to know if everything is okay with both of you? Is ur husband worried that if the prayer continues, it may be revealed that the issue is from him? I’m really confused as to why he would object to prayers. This is not even a random stranger or pastor but ur own uncle.
I believe he is inconsiderate and his desperation to act as the lord and personal savior whose opinion is final and who doesn’t let his wife’s be considered does not look good at all
Trying to conceive but living apart from your husband is a bad decision. Choose your career or your marriage because you are exposing your home to strange women who might play on your absence and get pregnant for your husband. What is priority to you? Higher pay or children? Choose accordingly.
DeleteWord. Marriage is not for living apart, living together is the key. Look for a job in husband's base and all will work together for your Good.
Delete16:11 you don’t know their situation
DeleteDo you want to frustrate the man
What if he can’t provide
Thanks for your input,Eka. My husband has been certified perfectly okay and I'm the one who has the issues. Hormonal/tubal issues hence the IVF. The funny thing is that my husband is pretty religious himself and that's why I was very surprised at his reaction. He is usually a very chill person and we have never had problems over this kind of issues. I don't know if it's disspaointment from the failed IVF or something else but we will be fine. Maybe we just need some time out. Kisses to Alex and Vanessa.
DeletePoster, your husband is right. Apologise and beg him period. Next time, travel to your hubby's base and do it but inform him.
DeleteStaying apart is not gonna help the situation. Its called temporary divorce and anything can always happen. Why not start looking for a job in the city where your hubby stays secretly, pray about it genuinely and see God in action.
Dear Poster! Your husband is just trying to protect you, God forbids, we have read cases of rape from trusted pastors/ family members, though he over reacted but apologize to him. Sometimes when blessing is coming, the enemy is always looking for a way to divert it, issues like unnecessary anger can destroy everything, just apologize to him and make peace.
ReplyDeleteI wish you the best.
Another angle. Thank you
DeleteLol he was fine with the uncle staying
DeleteJust no vigil
Dear Poster pls what was the result of the 3 day night vigil. Hope God answered your prayers. This should be your focus because if not you just wasted your time
DeleteZendaya
Is this your husband’s hand clean
ReplyDeleteCome pray he refused
Okay God said pray more he’s upset
Why? They didn’t ask him to participate
Dear poster, I sympathize with your condition but honestly honestly, I'll side with your hubby here o.
ReplyDelete1. Your Pastor uncle doesn't have a Church where you both could hold the vigil?
2. Is he a family man? If yes, why didn't you guys make use of his family house?
3. Was the vigil that urgent that you couldn't wait for your husband to clear his schedule to attend and join his faith with yours as a couple?
I'm sure alot went through hubby's mind but he held himself from speaking and maybe, just maybe he now sees you in a different way. TTC is challenging but please be considerate of your hubby's opinions, you're both in this together.
All the best.
These questions need answers
DeleteValid questions you have asked. My Uncle actually doesn't live in my location. He came for a burial in the village and paid me a visit as it's been long he saw us. He really didn't even have to do what he did for me but he was moved by the emotional state I was in. I'm not someone who let's others see my pain on a normal day. I will just be smiling and tell you I'm fine. But to see me crying and questioning my faith and God,that's why the prayer/vigil issue came up. He had to go back to his base(Lagos ) right after. It is well.
DeleteHi. I hope you see this. I know that pain of IVF failing. I have been there. 1st one, I was 7 months pregnant and lost twin boys, second one didn't take. Third one I got pregnant with quadruplets. I just want to encourage you, keep trying. I am also the one with the issues, but God took charge. Wipe your tears. Discuss with the embryologist and the obstetrician. Encourage yourself... I've met couples who tried 11 times. Still no baby, but they haven't given up. Apologize to your husband, when you are the one with the issues, the man is like that. You don't know what he's facing outside too, people saying he can't impregnate you. Feed his ego, for now. Sorry. It's a painful journey, but God will see you through.
DeleteHe has his own issues,but YOU?? You are really looking down on your husband for reasons best known to you..
ReplyDeleteIf you had any atom of respect for him;you won’t allow any man whosoever be with you all alone in the name of prayers for three straight days..
If the prayers meant much to you;you would have done it on a weekend(Friday to Sunday) together with him at his base;that way he won’t have an excuse to say “No”..
Don’t tell me about trust;even the Bible said “lead us not into temptation”..
You don’t respect him clearly;and you see no wrong in disrespecting his authority..
Not saying all he did is right either;but you sound more like the “EzeOnyeAgwalam” type of wife..
You can’t respect your husband;but you can respect what your pastor said?
It is well..
@MARTINS
Eggactly.
Delete@Martins, the man is jer father's younger brother who is a pastor. Not every pastor is bad ooo
DeleteThank you Martins
DeleteMartins,
DeleteYou saved the stress of typing. God bless you. Even from her writings, I can still sense the authoritativeness in her.
My woman dare not take decision(s) in the family without letting me know. I don't tolerate that in a relationship how much more in a marriage.
When two people going into prayers aren't aligned in spirit, how then do you expect the prayer to work?
Woman abeg try apologise to your husband for that behaviour you exhibited. It wasn't a good one. Or you think he doesn't need the baby as well. Make una no dey use una hand cause problem for unaself.
Women are more under pressure to conceive when a family is ttc. It did not get to that stage of respecting her pastor and disobeying her husband. The pastor is her uncle, father's younger brother. Oga did not object to uncle sleeping over but to prayer he was not participating. That came off as surprising. Is oga dodging something? Could be oga did not want to be busted through prayer.
DeleteMartins is right please..This lady is married,and she ought to listen to her hubby.
DeleteMadam,please apologize to your hubby. Don't let this issue linger more than it already has.
No dear Martin's. The woman just had a failed IVF. She is TTC. She is emotionally drained. . I know the husband is also going through a lot emotionally as a TTC man but the weight is heavier on the woman. Going through the process of an IVF and getting a negative result is frausturating.
DeleteI feel the most traumatizing experience in life is TTC. A woman that is not emotionally strong and firm in God can do anything to get result. God please come through for her
Na wa o
DeleteMy mother’s brother can stay with me by myself pls
Sho. Not all are same Abeg
Martins I don’t agree at all. Seems like it’s only a woman who has passed through TTC will understand poster. She did not do anything wrong or risky. It’s her uncle staying in her house for Christ sake, and if the man hasn’t given any reason for them to be suspicious of him, why will the husband act this way?
DeletePoster, the mistake you made was telling your husband that the prayer will continue for three days since he’s not joining you for the prayers anyways. You would have just continued the prayers and told him later. A lot of men don’t take prayer matter serious, they think plenty prayers equals fanaticism. When I started serious prayers for TTC I did not tell my husband anything because I didn’t have strength for argument of do this and don’t do that. He would just come back from work everyday and meet me on the floor weeping and praying, the look in my eyes then did not even let him object to anything, he would just be begging me to take it easy.
Poster, you may apologize for the sake of peace (though if I was the one I wouldn’t apologize for this type of thing, but I know my husband and how we relate). Continue to pray to God by yourself, if you do fasting do it by yourself, since your husband doesn’t see how important this is to you. your prayer is enough for God to answer you both.
Yes I support martin once a man is not around, if a man is coming to visit he shld not stay overnight ,my husband stays abroad he has tons of friends once he is not around nobody visits ,it's respect as far as the man of the house is not around a man shld understand as respect to the head of the house, be it family or not they will even be saying no I'm not staying cos hubby is not around, I know it's about your condition but sometimes make prayer no dey make us do some mistakes, pls advice your husband for you guys to stay together bearing the condition of this country but marriage first
DeleteMartin and Teejay...pls take it easy on me. You don't know what I am or have gone through oh. It is well with all women TTC. Sometimes a woman has to be selfish for her own mental health sake. I won't go as far as saying I was suicidal but I was in a pretty bad state emotionally. I guess I expected hubby to understand that that was what I needed at that point to be able to regain some semblance of emotional stability. But I guess men see things differently.
DeleteIt's okay. I have heard and learnt. I really don't want any problems in my marriage right now as it's not even worth fighting over. So yes,I will apologize. She stoops to conquer.
Poster, it is well with you. May God give u double for ur trouble
DeleteSo sorry dear if I sounded hard on you. I pray God grant your heart desire. Amen
Delete"Except two agree..." If there's no agreement to that prayer, my dear no result.
DeleteThe prayer has to be between you and hubby in obedience to God's Word. Do away with stress, ask him for forgiveness & apologise.
Poster make peace with ur hubby
ReplyDeleteBeg him, massage his ego but pls go for more prayers without his awareness since he acted this way.
It might not be ur uncle, u can aswell start conducting midnight prayers on ur own, or get a vibrant sister to help u in prayer bcoz him flaring up is somehow, u need more prayers.
Abi
DeleteI would have done the vigil without telling him
16:14
DeleteAre you married?
Are you living with neighbours in the same building?
You think a married woman can live with a man who is not her husband for four days and the husband will not hear story about it one day in a way he would never believe the man was not her uncle? This same man who objected despite being told?
Flip it. How many women (wives) would believe if told that their niece-in-law was the young lady who spent three nights with their husband because of prayers for business success while they were away at their work station.
Make we dey sofri, sofri advise o!
Some of us here think marriage is boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, and advise on that basis. (No insult intended and pardon any so interpreted).
Mr. Mann
Mr Mann
DeleteShe already told you the man staying there is not the issue for her husband
Thank you Martins for this comment. You typed exactly what I would have typed too. Poster please let peace reign.
ReplyDeletePoster, apologize to your husband and get your peace back. No need quarreling over prayer and uncle visit.
ReplyDeleteNext time if your husband object to any thing, stand with him especially when it has to do with spiritual matters.
Sometimes when you apologize it is not because you are wrong. It is because you want peace to reign. And it won't take anything from you.
ReplyDeletePls apologize.
Next time you pray with someone, even if oga is not in support you can still go on and do your prayers alone or through whatsapp or any other means. He doesn't have to be there.
Tell him you were desperate to hear something and you are sorry.
Poster I am with your husband...Yes prayer is key, but you should keep your husband abreast in everything even when a family member comes in. How would you accommodate him without letting your husband know. What if something happened to you. He should have sought permission to extend his stay. He is a visitor first before he is a Pastor. Yes, he should not have called the Pastor to cancel because he was angry.
ReplyDeleteYou see why people say Woman respect their pastors more than their husbands. Go and apologize to him; if you want to conceive; it takes both of you to make it happen. This is your home and you must guard it, stop being emotional and think this thing well.
Learn to be logical and work on your communication
All the best
Make una dey read with understanding na. He didn't object to him sleeping over, just to the prayers. Only God knows why
DeleteThank you Eka
DeleteI can’t be too mad at them cause me sef just misread something and I’m here worried that I’m in trouble so we dey same group lol
Eka I read it and it is still wrong. The man should have even called the husband that he wants to extend his stay or she speaks with her husband. The husband was not home, what if something happened. If he says he does not want the prayer nko does it make him a bad person? The prayer can be done another time.
DeleteShe should just pipe down and apologize. Na peace she dey find
Phoenix you’re just standing your ground for no reason
DeleteYour husband objected to prayers he won't participate in but did not object to your uncle sleeping over. Is he at fault? What's he scared of? That might set off alarms in some women.
ReplyDeleteE reach to ask oh
DeleteHe's objecting the prayers as a means to object his staying..
DeleteIf they're not praying for more days, wetin uncle go stay the house dey do..
You know, saying it point blank that he doesn't want the uncle in the house for more days would really sound somehow, so he took a more diplomatic approach
The prayer need not be said in the woman's room for God to give any answer implicating the man if his hands are not clean in any or all ways.
DeleteSomebody has suggested that the prayer can be done by whatsapp (video or audio) even or by agreement in the spirit from different places physically.
Is God no longer omnipresent, omniscient and omnipotent?
The husband was not comfortable with the arrangement. And the discussion of it may have gone awry to the point of releasing pent up feelings and family headship assertion.
The couple who have done IVF must already know their respective fertility state. So what could the man be hiding?
When you get married. After God your spouse is the next Chief commanding officer of your life. Their instructions and command supperceeds every other person's instructions including that of your parents or pastor.
ReplyDeleteThe deed has been done. Apologize to your husband. Hold firmly to the holy spirit. Do not allow.anger and strife steal what you have collected from God.
TTC is not for the faint hearted. The Lord has heard you. Receive your children in Jesus name. Amen
Please Channel every energy you have now in making sure there is peace in your home. Devil strives on strife. Resist him. You are in my prayers dear
When it comes to issues like this, it's best that you both agree to do this together to achieve a positive result. Please settle with your husband. I pray the Lord will settle you both soon. Amen.
ReplyDeleteIn case of next time, a zoom meeting should be suggested to connect with him.
Poster both of you are right but you need to be a fool for things to move well in your marriage. How long do you intend to keep malice or long face with your own husband? remember you are in the waiting room and babies do not grow in a place where there is no peace.
ReplyDeleteJust calm down and apologize to your husband, and allow him to feel that he is the man and should be respected. Next time he tells you, nope please do not go ahead no matter how you needed that thing. Make sure you know your husband's mumu button so that you can always use it to get him to do things. Please apologize to him on this one cos you disobeyed him even thou it was for your own good but once a man said nope and you disobeyed him i don't think you have covered your head.
Thanks for the advice. You are quite right...babies do not go where there is strife. God bless you.
DeleteAbeg babies go everywhere
DeleteShe has enough pressure. Stop this you need to create perfect environment bla bla
You and that your uncle no serious well well..
ReplyDeleteYou go visit person wife without her husband around and think it's convenient to spend 3 whole nights with her alone, whether na uncle or not, e no bam.. and to your husband it didn't look like it's for a serious reason cos which prayers him won pray wey Una no pray finish for one night, and why can't he leave and allow you do the rest nights prayers on your own, plus the right thing to do was for him to have called your husband for his permission not telling you and expecting you to make the decision of him staying or not, the fact that maybe you paid for the house doesn't mean your husband doesn't have right on who should stay or not.. especially an opposite gender..
If you like continue disrespecting your husband oh.. na you sabi
You can’t call my husband for permission na
DeleteThat’s my place
As for the husband being worried about uncle sleeping with his wife, that would be silly to me sha
Dante...your blood too dey hot oh. No,we both paid for the house so it's not about that. I actually meant no disrespect. I just expected him to be more understanding,especially with him being my Uncle and not a stranger. You think I would have let any pastor into my house for such when my husband is not there? But I get your point. My uncle should have called hubby himself to inform him,right? Now even my uncle is angry that my husband disrespected him by asking to stop the vigil. Wo,I don tire abeg. Make them just leave me make I see road first. But,yeah...I will be apologizing. Thanks for your usual candour.
DeletePoster yes apologize him
DeleteBut I don’t regret that you did it
You needed the prayers for your mind to relax and that’s what you got
Meanwhile try ivf some more
It doesn’t always work at first
Your hubby is the head of the home and you must pls accord him that. Apologize to him and make peace. Blessings come to homes where there is peace, mutual respect and love.
ReplyDeleteApologize to him but I think it’s good you did the prayers
ReplyDeleteWaiting is not easy and you would then be wondering if not doing the prayers is why
In all your wonderful decisions. May God see you through!!! Both of you should join hands together and Pray 🙏
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, You were emotionally drained and from what I read, Your heart and Soul yearned for the prayers, And I'm glad you followed and obeyed your spirit.
ReplyDeleteWhy would your hubby agree to your Uncle sleeping over? , but objecting for the vigil to continue, Does he have anything to hide?
The deed is done already, Apologize to him, and most importantly, Keep yourself happy, Your happiness doesn't depend on any man but God. I pray God Almighty answers all your prayers.
Amen. Thank you. I definitely will. God bless you for your kind words.
DeleteI shall be straight forward with you. YOU ARE A DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN,YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS TO ACT FAST… may God help men from women who respect pastors of any kind over their husband’s wish - they are DISASTER WAITING TO HAPPEN
ReplyDeleteOgbeni,take it easy oh.
DeleteYou are a disaster waiting to happen.
DeleteAs country dey do us like this, na this kind thing be the problem wey some people dey quarrel about...o ga o. poster, with due and utmost respect, channel your energy to something else.
ReplyDeleteJust falling in love with my husband more. The guy will just say "My brain needs peace" and he's off. That's the end of it, never to mention it again
Unless you painted yourself as an atheist before marriage and your hubby only then learned of you having a vigil, then his reaction is wayyyy overboard. If he knew you were a spiritual/religious person then why the objection? The vigil is in an apartment, not your personal home and the person with you is an elder family member that you feel safe around and trust. This is bizarre. Spiritual practice is personal and for many ppl a core part of their lives. Trying to control someone’s spirituality is a red flag.
ReplyDeleteDo not jump to any sudden conclusions about why he objected, but be prayerful and watchful.
Quite bizarre indeed! As is the constant need for men in this clime to lord it over their wives as authoritarian heads of the home. If he was such a head of the home, his wife wouldn’t need to take up a job in another state to supplement his income.
Delete19:42
DeleteHmmm, we truly learned by the day.
It is by providing all of a woman's financial needs that a husband becomes the head of his home?
So the wives whose needs and wants are provided for who do not see their husbands as lords are what?
Every man who fully provide for his wife has an automatic right to lord over his wife?
A man IS only if he has a money beyond what his wife can spend?
God no shame your sons.
@20:51
DeleteGo away with your nonsense gaslighting. When you have daughters, give them away to men who let them have no say in their home even when it comes to their own family, all because they are ‘head of home’.
God no go shame your daughters.
Whether Dad younger brother or not, it is wrong. Very wrong.
ReplyDeleteI hope he didn't drug you and have carnal knowledge knowing fully well you are living all alone. God will answer the prayer regardless of the location it was made.
I agree with your husband. You are wrong.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
😳. I know the world is pretty crazy right now, but really,? Drug and have carnal knowledge of me ke? This is my uncle oh and a pastor too. Anyway,my nephew was in the house with us though he slept all through as any 8 year old would. I grew up with my male cousins and relatives and never for once did any one of them behave inappropriately towards me. How did we get here?
DeleteMadam, if this is you, and this has been your experience, that is one way to look at this situation. You don’t see anything wrong in our uncle staying over at your house when your husband is not around.
DeleteYour husband is not seeing it the way you are. And I guess that was his issue with the whole set up.
From what I read, the husband was not angry that the uncle was staying 3 nights, he was only angry with the prayer.
ReplyDeleteFirst, he made an excuse not to be there for the prayer, next he doesn't want the prayers to last 3 nights even though he didn't mind your uncle staying 3 nights.
I smell a rat.
Note that, there are some evil people who have covered themselves very well and it will take lots of prayers to fish them out. Your prayers might affect their coven, but you still may not be able to find out what they are capable of unless they start acting erratically. If not that I have witnessed it happen before, I wouldn't have believed it.
Do with this information whatever you wish.
Let me say what I think as a man..
DeleteFirst, the husband already feel disrespected by the whole prayer set up.. you can't come from nowhere to come and be making decisions in another man's home without seeking his consent first.. it's insulting, no real/reasonable would accept or is okay with such..but makes the husband look like a third party is having a say/controlling his home.
The husband overlooked this part, then this man now decided to push the disrespect further by now wanting to stay more days and still not giving the husband his regards by asking him first.. the stopping of the prayers is just to establish his authority in his home,. That's if really he doesn't care about the man staying for more days..
But I feel it serves both purposes to establish his authority and indirectly send him back to his house..
What nonsense, even women don't like when one aunty from her husband family is coming to make decisions or put her mouth in their home without first discussion it with her to show she regards her as the woman of the house
@Dante Go and read the chronicle again, this time slowly.
Delete@Poster, I would apologize this once to let peace. But do not relent in your prayer life.
Do more vigils on your own, also reconcile with God and live a Christlike life.
Keep praying.
Na wa oh Dante
DeleteJust to pray I will also ask husband for permission
Shey it’s not too much like this
Men they require their wives to ask for permission don’t y’all feel weird. I don’t even want kids always asking me for permission not to talk of a grown woman
Ok oh..
DeleteI have kuku said it some days back that you guys are not willing to understand men..
Now I'm telling you how we process things, you no gree..
Go ahead and do what you like🙏
You are not yet pregnant because you live apart. You do not fit the medical definition for infertility. You have to live together for a whole year and have sex every alternate day.
ReplyDeleteThey have been TTC for four years, they have lived apart for less than that, so they most probably fit the medical diagnosis.
Delete...apologize to your husband! What you're praying for will be hard to manifest if you and your spouse's energy are in the negative!
ReplyDeleteThe world has gone bonkers, in your most vulnerable state is when you should be highly alert, there's nothing we haven't read or seen in the news...father's brother or not! Your husband just wasn't comfortable with the impromptus elongation of the visit, I don't think he has anything against the prayers.
May your deepest heart desires be granted. Cheers!
Leo Inspired!
Poster, first of all your husband is not your lord and personal savior , so forget all this crap everyone is saying. You also deserve to be heard in your marriage. When you object to certain things in your marriage does your husband listen to you? so because he says he doesn't want prayer to continue, prayer should not continue. Let me ask you so if your husband comes and says jump off the roof , you will because he is your husband? Abeg DO NOT RELENT in your prayer. Tell God to open your eyes to whatever, relax and just believe he has answered your prayer ok. Your marriage will not break but learn to stand your ground too thats all I am saying......GoodLuck and very soon you will carry your babies.AMEN
ReplyDeleteI will personally not allow any man sleep in my home if my husband is away unless the person is my own brother, and my husband must always be aware. I always let my husband know and if he says no, then it is no.
ReplyDeleteBased on my own personal experiences while growing up, I do not trust men. No matter how friendly we have been or how much of a family you are. I don see am.
From my point of view madam, your hubby is right to be annoyed. He is not near you. And you arranged all this behind him.
I do pray for you, I pray that you both resolve this issue and move on. I pray that the Lord almighty blesses you and your husband with your own child. I have been through TTC and I do not wish it on my enemy.
About living in another town away from your husband, I think you’d need to make a decision about which one you want - family/child or career. Women often have to make this hard decisions or should I call it sacrifice. Pray and think about this okay? Because even after having a baby, your child still needs their father’s presence.
The first years of marriage is also a time of bonding for the couple. And I would not recommend living apart. You can do it 10-15 years after - but in early marriage, you need to enjoy each other, know each other and bond.
Most responses here are in support of the woman - based on the fact that the prayer is more important than her husband. That is how we have so been brain washed in Nigeria. Pastor, an external entity, has more respect in the home than the husband.
ReplyDeleteShame.
These days, vigils can be held via WhatsApp, and other online mediums. I guess ur husband was just concerned over ur safety as no one can be trusted in these times.
ReplyDeleteHow will there be an answer to prayers when the two concerned have issues. It is there problem and it there prayer to agree. The so called uncle though with good intentions is actually going to tear them apart.
ReplyDeleteWhy would you even be there without the husband or his consent. There are boundaries we must respect even when we will good for people. God does not force His will on us. Without the Vigil, the two couples can pray by themselves and for themselves. The uncle is a busy body