Hmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
HOW TO CONFRONT A SWINGER
Good day Stella, pls post for me.
I am the first daughter of my family and I have a kid sis who confided in me … she wedded last year November and currently pregnant, prior to her wedding her husband is always with guys they even sleep in his house sometimes .
she had access to her husband phone .
The husband always locks his phone but she had access to the phone and went through his chats and what she saw shocked her.. She saw where the husband is calling his follow guys babe” all the romantic names , she saw how he books appointment with them i hotels .
He always travels even to occasions that they did not invite him , so one of the wedding he went to a far state and said he was going alone he actually stopped by and went with one of the guy that visits them and she got to know from the bigger phone he always leave at home and the facebook messenger is on his main phone so all his messages enter the phone…
The last time the same guy wanted to visit them, she told the husband she does not want to see him in their house again, although he later came and they had a big quarrel and since then the guy never came again..
Another time she caught her husband doing video call in the parlor and showing the guy he is calling his manhood , when she opened the door he quickly closed his body and the video call was still on and she asked what he was doing and he said nothing .
He also awalys goes into the bathroom with his phone and she has caught him several times there...
Sometimes when she is lucky to have access to his phone she sees where the husband is sending his nude pics and calling his follow guys baby and all sorts of sweet names….
So currently she is confused became she don’t know if the husband is a g#y ....
Note that the husband does not know that she has seen all these and she has known all these for over 5months now and has been keeping it to her self and not confronted him about it,.. pls how does she stop this? Pls how does she relate it or talk to her husband about it ?
I don’t know what to advice her.....
Note:
-The husband provides everything for the family...
- The husband carry church for head, he even call himself a pastor and is even a leader in one of the untis..
- he is gentle and you can never believe he does such ...
-since they married he has not gained weight , and he is eating well and people are saying that he does not look like a married man
- She is currently 6months pregnant..
Sometimes she will be thinking and almost hate the husband but he will start complaining so she will just forget her thoughts because of marriage …
Pls I need the best advice.
HOW TO CONFRONT A SWINGER
Good day Stella, pls post for me.
I am the first daughter of my family and I have a kid sis who confided in me … she wedded last year November and currently pregnant, prior to her wedding her husband is always with guys they even sleep in his house sometimes .
she had access to her husband phone .
The husband always locks his phone but she had access to the phone and went through his chats and what she saw shocked her.. She saw where the husband is calling his follow guys babe” all the romantic names , she saw how he books appointment with them i hotels .
He always travels even to occasions that they did not invite him , so one of the wedding he went to a far state and said he was going alone he actually stopped by and went with one of the guy that visits them and she got to know from the bigger phone he always leave at home and the facebook messenger is on his main phone so all his messages enter the phone…
The last time the same guy wanted to visit them, she told the husband she does not want to see him in their house again, although he later came and they had a big quarrel and since then the guy never came again..
Another time she caught her husband doing video call in the parlor and showing the guy he is calling his manhood , when she opened the door he quickly closed his body and the video call was still on and she asked what he was doing and he said nothing .
He also awalys goes into the bathroom with his phone and she has caught him several times there...
Sometimes when she is lucky to have access to his phone she sees where the husband is sending his nude pics and calling his follow guys baby and all sorts of sweet names….
So currently she is confused became she don’t know if the husband is a g#y ....
Note that the husband does not know that she has seen all these and she has known all these for over 5months now and has been keeping it to her self and not confronted him about it,.. pls how does she stop this? Pls how does she relate it or talk to her husband about it ?
I don’t know what to advice her.....
Note:
-The husband provides everything for the family...
- The husband carry church for head, he even call himself a pastor and is even a leader in one of the untis..
- he is gentle and you can never believe he does such ...
-since they married he has not gained weight , and he is eating well and people are saying that he does not look like a married man
- She is currently 6months pregnant..
Sometimes she will be thinking and almost hate the husband but he will start complaining so she will just forget her thoughts because of marriage …
Pls I need the best advice.
It is so easy to see that he swings both ways, he should have confessed to his wife so that she will know what she is signing up for...Na wah...
Let her close door, sit him down and ask him and promise that she wont leave, he will confess.
A BV found herself in the same situation years back, she was pregnant and in school and left when she was pregnant.She eventually went back to him after he promised he would stop but i dont think they ever stop, they just cool down for a while and change tactics...
She can't stop it. He has to be the one to stop, and if he doesn't want to change his ways, is she willing to walk away, or endure the marriage?
ReplyDeleteshe and her family are already enduring for 5 months. I doubt she will walk away as His the provider to her and her family most likely.
DeleteIf she peradventure wants to leave the marriage. Call both family meeting via your own family without intimating his family and most respected person.
Speak when everyone is settled than ask him to call his password out for his father to see evidence then una return bride price because he and family will promise he will stop but your mind is already made.
If you know deep down you ain't leaving then keep enduring as you have been doing.
Gay guys CAN KILL TO KEEP THEIR SECRET. She mustn't let him know she knows. Leave him under any excuse and tell your family the truth after you are SAFE, AWAY FROM HIM.
DeleteHe won’t stop, he will never stop.
ReplyDeleteSince your sister won’t leave the marriage, it’s a matter of her conditioning her mind to accept that she’s sharing her husband with other men and is likely to contract STI’s from it.
You people try , so she’s ok knowing her husband sticks his jons in another man’s hole for a whole 5 months! Wow
Add HIV to the mix. Crazy ass marriage. If she’s willing to leave, she needs to start saving as much as she can if she doesn’t work. How long will she be in this type of deceitful marriage? These last days Na wa oo. People no dey think about afterlife anymore. Lord help your children.
DeleteMaybe he is a bottom...they insert in his bum bum🤔
DeleteI’m sorry
ReplyDeleteEzigbote I'm sorry!
DeleteFor over 5 months she has kept it wowwwww. She needs to let the husband know she is aware of his double life style. He will not change that is for sure. Is either she leave with it or move on.
ReplyDeleteA lot of men are into it. Some are bi, some are pure homosexuals. They just marry for society’s sake. Some don’t even touch their wives except for procreation purposes. All those PA/ Oga errand boys I dey usually look them with side eyes.
ReplyDeleteUna sabi faya stray bullets o. Two do reach PA and Oga errand men just na na. Lol.
DeleteA whole five months she knew and still kept calm. The sight of the husband doesn't irritate her ni. Ewwwwwww 🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮 even fear of STDs no move her
ReplyDeleteA lot of that shit is going on these days.men that like men but are forced to marry women because of societal pressure and perspectives.
ReplyDeleteFor this particular case, hope she has screenshot of all the evidence o. I hope she is not reading and telling you and then not keeping track of anything. Keep all the evidence and call all the family members from both husband and wife side. Seat them down and table it all out. Anybody that shame wants to catch should catch shame. There is no need talking to the man about it bcos he will not change. Let the families in immediately and then let him sign an undertaking which you will get from your lawyer that he will be paying all the bills and upkeep for the house and ask him to move out for the sake of your condition. When this is done, change all the locks in the house. Some might say this is nijia hmmmm put your leg down and watch everyone obey you. Then take it one day at a time. The day Nigerians will start understanding that they probably have more gay men among them is the day the day our women will start making better decisions
ReplyDeleteShe should move out of that house in stead and find a new location.
DeletePractically, she still allows her dogband make love to her 🤢🤢🤢
ReplyDelete5 whole months??? God abeg oo
I'll advice she confront him and let him know she's totally in the full the knowledge of his dirty act(s) and see his reaction. See if he'll be remorseful and willing to change
Madam poster, that man will NEVER change, they hardly do except by the grace of God
Upon the heaps of evidence, she's still asking if the husband is gay? He calls fellow men baby, sends his nude pix to men, does video calls with men which she has seen on more than 2 occasions and she's asking if he's gay? Same reason some women are given hotel addresses for one on one meeting with a toaster or crush and she thinks the man is going to tell her that Nigeria is made up of 36 states and Abuja.
ReplyDeleteDecision is hers. If she's looking for who to tell her to leave her marriage, she will get it here likewise those that will tell her to sit him down and talk over it as if sitting a man down and telling him to quit cigarette smoking will make him quit if he's not yet ready to quit.
HIV is still real.
At middle age, he might be having challenges with erection.
Tomorrow is Sunday over here but if she wishes another person to tell her tomorrow is another day other than Sunday with a straight face, she has the right to believe.
There is no question...the man is gay. The question is can she manage like that?. Diseases will be a problem
DeleteI would leave him but she’s not me
ReplyDeleteNa wa ooo, your sister is in the know for 5months and she's quite about it? please is time to ask him questions
ReplyDeleteMy sister opened a bathroom door in her house one day and right there was her husband having sex doggy style with one of the boys living with them.
ReplyDelete😱😱😱
DeleteHian 😲😲😂😂😂.
DeleteIt's the shock on both faces for me
Pls come bck n tell us what happened afterwards
DeleteHe's obviously bisexual, no need to fight him, since he is a good guy as she said, let her leave after she gives birth and propose a Non Disclosure Agreement (post nuptial), not to disclose to anybody about his perversions, on the condition that he will continue to provide for the child and for her as well until she gets back on her feet. He will agree as he is happy to have a baby and his secret is safe.
ReplyDeleteGbam. She shd sha be safe because that guy can do anything to keep his secret especially if he’s a church boy. God is patient sha. Very patient
DeleteYour sister is pretending, all you have described shows that he is Homo, The Ball is however in her court. It's better to let him know though so that they can define their lives and way forward. So pathetic what the world has become.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteI can read from here that you're not a violent type.
Some things are best addressed with violence, but you can't. If you confront him, he might get angry and be violent at you. If you return it to him violently, he will fear small; then re-strategize. and he might even stop it. But if you can't, It will be too much for you.
However, if you know that you can't live with such dirty lifestyle:
1. Be working for your Plan B
2. Make sure you visit the hospital regularly for checks against infections.
3. Change your prayer styles; violently pray (mostly when he's at home) against any evil that is set to scatter your joy of marriage.
4. Report him to Christ.
5. Keep reporting him to Christ
6. Don't stop disturbing Jesus on the matter.
May God come to your rescue in Jesus name. Amen.
@KSB Truth
Her husband is bisexual or fully gay but got married to her for cover. On top of it he appears to be a hyersexual person. She has no power to make anything stop, he is who he is. Even if he promises to stop he would go right back because ppl are who they are and if he goes as far as inviting these men over to the marital home it means he neither respects nor loves his wife.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I could not stay because he has no morals and no integrity. He is without decorum and is making a mockery of marriage and your sister. Both you and your sister appear to be very naive ppl. There is no love or respect in the marriage and there is nothing worth fighting for here. If she went for the money, then she is going to have to earn every penny of it in this marriage because this will be an enduranceship. I feel bad for the unborn.
Ladies, can you please stop rushing to get pregnant as soon as you marry. The only people who should be rushing are those who the biological clock is ready to expire. If you have time please wait at least two years to see that the marriage is made of before bringing a child into the mix. Wait! wait to also learn each other and bond as new spouses. Imagine dealing with all this fckry with a baby coming. Nobody deserves this madness.
Thank you oh. People should stop rushing to get pregnant. Let's first get to know each other
DeleteShe should start gathering evidence,but never give hint she knows what is going on so they don’t harm her.they are desperate like that expecially when they portray a clean image outside and have a lot to loose….she has just to option stay or leave….it’s up to her…plan a quiet exit.she should quietly plan her exit and go very far from that man.
ReplyDelete*especially
DeleteMen who sleep with me are at greater risk for syphilis, hpv, hiv, hepatitis, etc.
ReplyDeleteHpv is a risk factor for cervical cancer in women.
Syphilis can cross the placenta and infect the baby in the womb. Other STIs, like gonorrhea, chlamydia, hepatitis B, and genital herpes, can pass from the mother to the baby as the baby passes through the birth canal. HIV can cross the placenta during pregnancy and infect the baby during delivery.
Your sister is playing Russian roulette with her health and that of her unborn child because her man is a provider and is gentle and goes to church.
Sorry to this woman.
Men who sleep with men* biko. Which kin typo be that?
DeleteAnyway, poster, like our principal used to say in sec schl then-- it will be too late to cry when the head is cut off.
Pray all you want, but the same Bible admonishes us to be wise. God will not come down from heaven and physically stop your husband from sleeping with me. You have the responsibility to protect yourself and your child, to be safeguard your mental and physical health, and to walk away when you see red flags glaring at you.
Do a complete STD screening immediately, and another in 3 months, so that you are aware of your current health situation.
Be wise.
As in I don't understand some families o ,na the next day I dey come house there are some things you don't hide why is still there with belle, thinking,crying if she witch out emotionally he will now tell her to come around ,then as a woman wey no dey chop doe I'm papa house before she go cooperate. Things like this na this pregnancy she go take do excuse come Sitdown for her papa house, man wey you marry na sanctimonious devil and you re still there chopping bp nne if anything happen to you his partner fo dey climb am dey tell am sorry , abeg I no fit dey inside this mix like whatdahell.tjere are some things you can't condone let him marry and stay with his partners, while your sis dey una house alive no be go die ND you come tell my mama sorry if I hear
DeleteWetin pornography dey cause. People are now practicing what they watch in porn movies
ReplyDeleteThe issue is more complex than pornography. In my mother’s village there was a known homosexual man, this was from 70+ years ago. No pornography existed and the culture was extremely modest sexually, plus he lived in a very rural place with very little exposure to outside influences. Most ppl didn’t even have a radio and a Bible was the only book in most homes. These ppl have always existed, history tells us this. Just like intersex and asexual ppl have always existed.
DeleteSocieties either need to accept them or make an anti-deception law so these fake marriages can stop.
I definitely agree. Pornography is a pandemic right now. People literally practice what they see in porn. It robs a human being of his brain. Especially the frontal lobe. Guys need to read more on porn addiction.
DeletePoster is the husband's name Samuel?
ReplyDeleteI have a brother like this, everything you described up there is what he does too.we found out about him when he was a teenager.Your sister has married the wrong man, she should better walk away.let me tell you something, you know that disease with 3 letters? it’s common among those people.She should better run and move on with her life.That one nor be husband at all.
ReplyDeleteMy ex husband was gay. I will tell you the outcome of two years marriage and what happened when he realized I knew. He stopped hiding it and started throwing it at my first. His best man was the gay partner and he married me only to have kids. Eventually, he went back to his gay partner and I nearly ran mad. The fact is, he married you for cover up. If he knows she knows, he would get worst and stop been discreet. He never loved you
DeleteAnon 19:17, so sorry, as someone advised up there, no need to fight or confront. Poster just needs to tell him she's leaving and will keep her mouth shut as long as he provides. Know how to manage information to your families but reason yourself and your baby first.
Delete19:37 you adviced that she keeps it to herself so that people will not know and then he goes on recruiting more young and innocent people secretly into this despicable act?
DeleteMany are in bondage to the evil one. The evil one is out to snatch so many souls. May God deliver our generation from sexual perversion because we have already been set free by the sacrifice of Jesus🙏🏾
ReplyDeletePoster, be anxious for nothing. Find out if your marriage can be annulled cos it was based on deceit. His intention was not to have a true sacramental marriage.
Woow I have heard these stories. Do these guys have consciences. Why put someone’s child through this. Na wah ohhhh.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what advice to give you. For her health, let her leave the marriage.
ReplyDeleteI know of a brother inlaw whose wife spoke about him being a gay. He is a Pastor and each time i remember him I shake my head. God is indeed merciful.
ReplyDeleteI don't even understand your pregnant lovely sister is living with a swinger and for full five months she is still there, pls she should not confront the husband alone o her life ,BP too tell her to screenshot all the evidence and transfer to your phone , then she shld tell the husband that she wants to visit her family to rest for some time let her tell your mum or dad . Abeg what I cannot condone I can't live with it.my cousin married a full blown gay before he will sleep with her he will take Viagra all other months nothing , we sis not know all of. Sudden she came home one day that she wants to kill herself sis wetin happen she told us , ozugbo ozugbo kia kia family meeting to return bride price , their family came and collected it .
ReplyDeleteThe next month she went to a boutique,spa and bought things for orphanage sis what happened she said want to thank God for delivering me , that those months he will be on call they will be doing sexchat, all those lovebirds things and she will lie on the bed thinking what to do ,what people will say .you see this marriage your sister is in with this man na bondage, what is providing food when she dey house she no dey chop, she needs emotional support and reassurance from these nonsense sanctimonious pretentious lie of a marriage
Ask your sister if she is ready to take the truth from her husband, ask her if her shock absorber is working perfectly well before she confront him cos he is swinging both ways. She should ask herself if that is the kind of life, marriage she want for herself and then take the best decision.
ReplyDeletePeople like that will never change, you will be surprised he is doing it with people in church and still claim to be a pastor. People now use pastor to cover their evil deed and I have stopped expecting too much from anyone that goes by that name.
End time signs everywhere, one need to look very careful with the direction from God before picking who to spend forever with. If is not side chick story, it will side hen, if is not side hen it will so many pregnancy ontop one person. Is a both way thing sha.
Gays don’t change. They are naturally inclined towards same sex. There’s no need thinking you can make him stop.
ReplyDeleteYou are at full risk of being infected with several STDs. I have a brother who deceived his wife too. We were only able to confirm his sexual orientation after the marriage crumbled. Mind you, we suspected that the wife knew but was covering up for many years. Anyway, she left with a cocktail of diseases, HIV inclusive.
Gay men are highly deceptive and very secretive. They can go any length to hide their sexual orientation. So you need to handle this matter with tact.
Advice:
1. Go and run medical tests. This you MUST do as a matter of urgency.
2. You must get proof of his gay activities. You can do this surreptitiously since you have access to his phone. Use this info as a grounds to leave him. Many women have left cheating husbands. You won’t be the first.
3. Leave the marriage. I do not think any human being should be made to endure this kind of life.
4. Use legal means and make him pay child support. He may be willing to pay once you agree to a non disclosure agreement with him. He must have been working hard to hide his lifestyle from the general public including his church.
5. Seek counseling or therapy as theres a possibility that this may affect you in a way including mentally.
I wish you luck, Sis. Don’t stay in that marriage unless you are able to stand him because of your own selfish interests, socially or financially.
However, never have sex anymore with him no matter what. You will have to find a way to satisfy your sex life if you decide to stay.
Good luck as you make a decision on this.
Poster expose him. If I were you, I'll leave and expose him before an innocent woman enters this mess again. Even in the church I'll report him to the General overseer with proof.
ReplyDeleteEnough if this nonsense.
'Sometimes when she is lucky to have access to his phone she sees where the husband is sending his nude pics and calling his follow guys baby and all sorts of sweet names….
ReplyDeleteSo currently she is confused became she don’t know if the husband is a g#y ....'
Noooo, at all sister. They are just words of motivation.