Woman Narrates Shocking Tale About Her Marriage...

WHAT!!!!

This is a long story but worth the read.

Things are happening!

TAKE SOME TOME TO READ THIS.
#longread #marriage #family #verbalabuse

''For some reason known only to Kelechi; he married me…but he never had plans to be my husband and he never regarded me as his wife.
One thing he insisted on was that we wouldn’t post our wedding pictures for ‘security reasons’…but that was just a ploy to keep living a double life. I will explain.

A few weeks after our wedding; an estranged Facebook lover of his confronted him about his wedding; he denied being married until she sent him the picture my dad had posted.

Not long after that too; he reconnected with another ex of his and even insulted me because of her. When I reminded him that he had taken vows before God and man to ‘forsake all others,’ he clearly told me; “The problem I have with you is that you think that I can be held down by any laws.”
As if that was not enough; he asked me out of the blue one night, “What do you think about me getting an ‘opportunity’ for a contract marriage abroad?” I was taken aback but I kept my cool as I asked him how I and the baby on the way would fit into that plan.

That conversation quickly deteriorated and ended up with him telling me how I got married and decided to just get pregnant when he had already told me to write IELTS and look for admission abroad. He told me without mincing words that he will ‘do anything’ including a contract marriage to make money for his family; I told him to count me out of that family.

While he kept at his shenanigans; I reminded him of this scripture. He clearly told me that he had not obtained any favor because he hadn’t made money. I asked him about everything else and he said that as long as he didn’t have money, he cannot see any favor.

I asked him how much money would be enough to make him believe he was favored and he had no answers.
These chain of events opened my eyes to the depth of this scripture; you have to first of all ‘find a wife’…and to find something or someone means to recognize it for what it truly is.

As long as you as a man do not recognize the woman by your side as ‘a wife’, don’t expect any favor from God.
And oh; did I mention that he falsified his signature on our marriage certificate??? He claimed to have forgotten his signature, but the day he decided to look for our marriage certificate, he told me, “I hope you know that without the sworn affidavit for the change in signature, that marriage certificate is null and void?”

I almost had a heart attack when he said that…so it’s no wonder he didn’t see any favor from God; he never recognized me as his wife and God actually doesn’t force anything on anyone.
This is still a portion of my story…pray for your spouse today as you fellowship and make sure that you regard them as your spouse.
Happy Sunday.
Continuation
This is one of the many pictures that never got posted because he wanted to maintain his single status on Facebook but claimed that it was for security reasons and he wanted us to maintain our privacy.
I am a very private person; so I believed him until I realized that we were not on the same page.
Besides marrying me for selfish reasons; he was ashamed of me…a whole spec like me 
He constantly told me how his exes looked and would randomly post their pictures and talk about their skin and how he wanted me to look better so when they see me, they’d know that he upgraded.

He ridiculed my dressing and wanted me to wear makeup for every outing; no matter how brief. In his words, ‘I don’t want you to give me any reason to look at another woman.’

He didn’t care that I was struggling with a new pregnancy. Even when I made effort; he will ‘forget’ to tell me that I looked beautiful.
One time; he came to the bank to meet me and we went to the supermarket to get groceries. Dude tried so hard to act like he didn’t know me and we were not together.

When I introduced him to the manager, he had a scowl on his face. I didn’t notice initially until I called him ‘baby’ and he ignored me. I called him ‘baby’ again and he scolded me…”see how you’re just saying baby baby.”
All the other places we went to, he stayed very far from me and was on the phone the whole time, I still haven’t found the words to describe how I felt that day.
I survived…

But the night he woke me up at 4am (I was more than 6 months pregnant) to cuss me out for telling my sister in law how he was treating me; he made sure to tell me how I was nothing and didn’t measure up to the women in his life.
He said, “do you know the kind of women I left to marry you, you this thing.” He went on to call me many more unprintable names and added my sister in law to the insults.

Then he said, “my mother warned me about marrying an Umuahia woman (at this point I want to state that his mother died when he was 16), but I didn’t listen. I have asked questions and they told me that Umuahia women are domineering and evil.”

Umuahia people, come and collect your sub…because the insults he gave Umuahia people is immense; yet he worships Nnamdi Kanu of IPOB who is from Umuahia and happens to be my second cousin.
The following night; I woke from sleep to hear him on the phone with someone and he was telling this person how he doesn’t know how he married me because nothing about it made sense. He claimed that I held him down with some form of supernatural whatever and now that his eyes have cleared I had become repulsive to him and he couldn’t stand the sight of me.

No wonder he had in a spate of abuse told me, ‘you can go and burn more bay leaves to tie my legs.’ I burn bay leaves occasionally to get rid of mosquitoes and pesky fruit flies instead of using insecticide. And burning bay leaves relaxes my nerves and makes me sleep better, so I didn’t understand what he said until I overheard that phone conversation.

I was too numb to even cry…

He follows the likes of AllahKaduna who tell them that they’re alpha males and the prize…well, I was not in competition with anyone for anything so I removed myself from struggling for any prize biko.
He loves to insult women on social media but is always in women’s inboxes asking for money…I lost count of how many women kept sending him money for only God knows what; and when I complained, he would say that I’m just being insecure…he still won’t pay any bills or buy anything for me or the house.

The next time a random stranger told me I was beautiful; I was shocked to hear it. I had forgotten that I was beautiful because I was constantly belittled and demeaned by the one person who should have been praising me.
It has been one joy ride finding my way back to myself…and right now my voice is stronger than ever.
7 months of marriage that felt like 7 years of torture…

March 28, 2022; I was 28weeks and 5days pregnant…I was also traumatized from constant verbal, emotional, psychological, and financial abuse.
I had scars, but they were not physical for anyone to see. But on this day, I knew that I had reached the end of my rope and I needed some kind of help.
This was a Monday, and by Friday of the same week; news of Osinachi’s death broke the internet.

While I thanked God that I was still alive (even though I didn’t think I would be alive for much longer); I read the reactions that trailed the news of Osinachi’s death.
I read how most people kept asking why she didn’t speak up or leave; and I kept wondering how many of these same people would have been kind to her if she had indeed left that marriage.
They were only sounding kind now because hers resulted in death.
When Kelechi went full throttle with his abuse of me, I had hope that it was a phase that would pass and I mostly told myself that I would be a better wife so he wouldn’t abuse me.
But the more I tried, the worse he got. Nothing I ever did was enough and I was worn thin.

I watched a YouTube video recently in which the host said something profound; she said, “when they don’t treat you right, you don’t stop loving them, you stop loving yourself.”
I could totally relate because I was as in that exact situation a little over a year ago.

He would verbally assault me but won’t stop there; he would insult my parents, insult my brother and his wife, and insult my hometown.
Then he tried so hard to cut me off from my family; he claimed to have gotten a job in Abuja and wanted us to relocate immediately. I asked the salient questions about how the move would affect us, seeing as I was pregnant and already seeing an obstetrician here.

His answer was; “I’m the man and your head, you just have to follow me.” When I resisted such blind move, he said that I didn’t want him to make progress. I told him to go on without me and settle in but he refused.
He would ask me for money when he had finished emptying my purse; if I can’t provide, he would insult me and mention all the women he knows who are ‘holding their men down.’

Then he started borrowing money from people and making me pay…I was footing all the household expenses so I had no idea what that money was for, when I ask, he’d tell me, “I’m a man and a man cannot be telling his wife everything he does with money.”
I was working even with a difficult pregnancy while he hung out with friends and slept most of the day only to insult me for being pregnant when I know we don’t have money.

I never disrespected him because of his inability to provide; rather he insulted me for not being able to provide what he wanted.
I constantly funded his forex trading account and he constantly blew it…and would still tell me how a prophet told him that I was behind his downfall.

He will sleep all day and keep me awake all night, knowing I was pregnant and needed all the rest and care I could get. When I remind him about my condition; he would tell me, “my sister has 3 children and I never heard her complain about any of these things, you’re just pretending,” or “you’re pregnant, you’re not sick, you’ll be fine.”

When my brother’s wife made sure I was removed from that toxic environment; he continued abusing me via chats and started sending people to call me or my dad to blackmail me into going back.
My dad simply told everyone to let me give birth first before we discuss anything.
When his tricks didn’t work; he started telling everyone who cared to listen that the child I was carrying was not his.

My daughter’s first birthday is 10 days away and he has not set eyes on her; so help me ask him how he got the DNA samples for the test he carried out?
This is neither a sob post nor a joke; it is a post to remind family and friends to pay attention to their married friends.

Every scar is not visible, but is equally capable of great damage. If you choose to look away or hold on to certain ideologies more than you would hold on to that person; don’t come online to pretend that you care if anything happens.
I’m saying this because many people cut me off because of the lies Kelechi went on spreading about me and my family. It’s no wonder they never congratulated me on the birth of my daughter.

It is all good…I’m speaking out now because it has taken me a long time to get to this point where I can discuss this pain. I woke up every morning thinking it would be my last; but my family stayed by my side and I had a few good friends who reminded me of so many reasons to stay on and fight.

Help these people because we can’t even help ourselves; if my brother’s wife didn’t do anything; I wouldn’t have been able to do anything…I was that helpless and scared.
I’m grateful to my family who put me first and to the few friends who never left my side, because of you I am here and my daughter is here too.
We overcame because we got help, help others overcome too.''
From Facebook - By Hazel Ajuamiwe