Some house helps are end time.....
When we were little, my mum was working, she hired a maid who took care of us from morning till she comes home in the evening. We were three kids, the last was a baby of less than a year.
Let's call her Aby.
Aby was 18yrs or above, very hardworking. She would bathe us, take us to school and pick us up. She would wash our clothes and clean the house.
Mum did the market run and cooking.
After mum leaves for work, Aby would reduce our own food by half and keep it in a plate to eat later. She would scoop the baby's milk into a cup, add water and sugar and drink. Sometimes, she would scoop it and pour in her palms and lick it like that.
Baby's milk that should last for one week or more would not be up to a week. She threatened us not to say a word to anyone or else, she would put poison in our food and kill all of us including our parents.
Our mouths were sealed.
We all looked very thin, including the baby as we were not having enough to eat except on weekends when mum would be around. Mum was worried, bought multivitamin for us, Aby would give us one teaspoon each and drink two tablespoons. Multivitamin would make us extremely hungry but no enough food to quench the hunger, we were miserable in our ordeal. Our condition was bad.
We slept in the same room with Aby, only the baby slept with mum. Some nights, she would bedwet, then switch the mattresses and bedspreads and make us take the blame.
Aby had many vices o, while bathing us, she would grab our manhoods and fondle them. This made us dread her bathing us. We would cry every morning as our mum leaves for work.
One kind neighbor called my mum and told her to investigate why we started crying when she leaves for work, as we were not doing so before. She said the maid must be maltreating us.
One day, mum pretended to go to work, then sneaked back into the compound and hid behind the window and peeped. That was how she saw Aby reducing the food she dished for us in the kitchen.
Well, she left our house the following day after we were forced to open up on other things she did to us.
I have not had any maid in my home since I got married.
We all looked very thin, including the baby as we were not having enough to eat except on weekends when mum would be around. Mum was worried, bought multivitamin for us, Aby would give us one teaspoon each and drink two tablespoons. Multivitamin would make us extremely hungry but no enough food to quench the hunger, we were miserable in our ordeal. Our condition was bad.
We slept in the same room with Aby, only the baby slept with mum. Some nights, she would bedwet, then switch the mattresses and bedspreads and make us take the blame.
Aby had many vices o, while bathing us, she would grab our manhoods and fondle them. This made us dread her bathing us. We would cry every morning as our mum leaves for work.
One kind neighbor called my mum and told her to investigate why we started crying when she leaves for work, as we were not doing so before. She said the maid must be maltreating us.
One day, mum pretended to go to work, then sneaked back into the compound and hid behind the window and peeped. That was how she saw Aby reducing the food she dished for us in the kitchen.
Well, she left our house the following day after we were forced to open up on other things she did to us.
I have not had any maid in my home since I got married.
I have seen first hand the damage some house helps can do to kids, reason why I don't have one. I rather get a cleaner come and do some cleaning and leave.
ReplyDeleteReason I don't want one too,my neighbor's son at the shop was always pulling his p*enis and showing my girls,I called the mum's attention to it and she picked offence. I jejely used my last cash then to buy small tv that keeps my girls busy when they come back from school.this is just a child of 2 years 6 months. I'm suspecting the house maids her mum keeps bringing . I laugh at people like my neighbor that thinks is only girls that gets molested
Delete@flawless, WHAT!!! 😳😳😳. How is the mom not concerned? Abi mom is the one participating in it. Oga oh. God help us
DeleteI think the last thing I’d have in my home is a maid.
ReplyDeleteKai,what a wicked soul.
ReplyDeleteMy sister was foolish to leave her kids with house help. Mothers be careful with your kids no one is too busy. Install CCTV
ReplyDeleteCCTV or not, I'm not interested. I'll give birth to the number of kids I can cater to. I no fit make noise abeg. Will the harm not be done before you get to the CCTV? This is my point.
DeleteI nor dey even reason to bring in a maid when I'm married not even a live-in nanny b/cus I had a first hand experience of one soulless maid my mum brought in one time.
ReplyDeleteMy story:
He was way older than us...
My parents were always busy, my mum had a kiosk (now a big shop) while my dad drives hence he's always on the road besides he married two wives, so, if he's not in PH he'd be with his other wife in villa.
Let's call the maid Y, the fact that my parents were always busy gave Y an edge to do whatever pleases him with me especially when I'm sleeping.
Y usually use this excel cream to apply on his d#ck for easy penetration.
Growing up, I resented my parents because they were never there for me. It was always MONEY MONEY MONEY that was all they cared about and at the time, business was really booming for my mum.
I had hatred for men too, I find every man that woo me in my Uni days as 'one of his(Y) kind', that made me stay away from men. At some point my roomie thought I was a lesbian.
When I eventually accepted to date in my early twenties, Bobo suggested that I should see a therapist, which I obliged and through the session I attended I felt a bit healed (not wholly) because I could finally talk to someone about it.
Did I later tell my parents about it? No!
The only people that know is my ex and my ex and my fiance
Am I still hurting?
Yes! He robbed me of my virginity. To think I was just 5 ðŸ˜. I've lost count of how many times he forced himself on me. It's being years now but it still hurt hence I vowed never to take my unborn children for granted
I couldn't even voice out because my dad was this hard type. A no-nonsense person, he flogs us whenever we do something wrong with belt then without minding.
Sometime, I'll wake up only to find out that the pant I wore is longer on me ðŸ˜
I was really molested...
Honestly, I shouldn't have opened this post. It brought back ugly memories
So so sorry about your experience.
DeleteI suffered the same thing too growing up, it was my uncle that was molesting/molested me and my sister, he did things to us/with us that I can't mention here.
He started with me, then moved to my sister. When we found out he was doing the same thing to both of us, we cried ehhhhhhhhh. We planned to poison him but we didn't know how to go about it.
When he knew we knew he was molesting both of us, he made us start touching each other. He used us to satisfy his sexual desires. I was 9 when he started with me, he started with my sister when she was 8(i am 2 years older than her.
It lasted for 5 years, the duration of his stay with us.
We informed our mum but all we got was deliverance in different churches, she said we were possessed, all she cared about was herself. My dad is not an approchable man, so we didn't even think to report to him.
I think my experience has affected me in a nagative way because i only get turned on by taboo S*x videos or i create a taboo scene in my head before everywhere go wet.
I have thought of molesting a neighbor's daughter before but i prayed and fasted against the thought, the fact that it was done to me doesn't mean i should continue the trend.
It's well oOoOO
I've never shared this with anyone, only my sister, uncle and i know.
My uncle is in the U.K, he never apologized or brought it up, we don't talk to him, i don't even regard him as an uncle.
Hmmmmmmm
DeleteSo sorry for this Evil experience. 😥 😩
May holy spirit heal you.
Forgive your uncle and see how free you will become.
Anon 16:00, I am so sorry you and your sister went through this horror and were let down by your mom too. That is one of the reasons I don’t subscribe to the idol worship of moms for carrying out their biological function of all female mammals to carry & duck their young. I’m a woman and a mom so it’s not gender hostility.
DeleteMany moms are so wicked only God can punish them adequately. I didn’t realize my own was very wicked until in my 40s! If your molester is in the UK, if you and your sister do not mind testifying against him (I don’t know if there is a statute of limitation or if jurisdiction matters) you may be able to remove him from circulation into jail. Imagine how many innocent children he has victimized and how he almost turned you into a molester ( hurt people hurt people in a vicious circle). That is why it’s important to see if you can bring him to justice or take justice to him as his career will be over if you both can corroborate his wickedness. Find an attorney online in the UK with a passion for bringing molesters to justice or an NGO to work with. Evil triumphs because many like your mom look away while many just shrug and move on but bringing them to book is to save society. May God heal you and all victims of this horrendous scourge in Jesus name.
Thank you anon 17:05
DeleteI don't think i want to go that route, it's going to bring up a lot of drama in the family. I decided a long time ago to let things be but i pray karma catches up with him because i still haven't forgiven him and i doubt if i ever will.
Since he left my sister has refused to say a word about it, brought it up one time like that, she said she'd appreciate it if i don't bring up the topic ever again.
Sometimes I wonder if she is as damaged as i am
So sorry for your ordeals @ the two anons
DeleteAnon, sorry for what your uncle subjected you to but are you sure he is not abusing another kid? Does he have a daughter? If he didn't know what he was doing to you and your sister was incest and abuse, what stops him from doing same with his daughter?
DeleteHmm wicked and heartless
ReplyDeleteI am not ready to die in the name of housework with a husband that does not assist .
ReplyDeleteI am pro maid .
Abroad it’s easier to live solo cos their society is made that way but Nigeria it’s not o.
I am a professional and career is also important to me .
I always have CCTV everywhere even in my kids rooms and it’s audio so I can even hear what is being said .
When I am home I am very very present .
I do most of the cooking and I am extremely close to the kids .
I bath the younger ones most morning and all thru weekend .
I also give my help time off so I can be with the kids alone .
I don’t look my age at all.
I definitely look younger . I can imagine doing all my house chores myself with my odogwu husband that can’t even carry his own plate .
I have driver , I have nanny , I have professional cleaner that comes every two weeks for major cleaning.
My kids are well grounded , husband is happy , everyone is happy
😊
Carry go!
DeleteSince you are close to your kids, they will open up on any bad thing happening in their lives, hopefully.
Teema it’s my hope as well . I am very observant . If I notice the kids don’t like being around the help anytime I am home or if they cry too much when she comes near them then that’s a big red flag o .
DeleteEven fear is very easy to read in the eyes of kids .
If you are close to your kids from when they are born it’s easy to notice any character or attitude change . I am pro maid always .
My helps are also professional from agencies . I make sure we do checks and they are well paid . I also do my best to treat them well.
God is in control .
Not everyone is happy to be a house wife or do a job that’s not time demanding .
I am an accountant and I work late sometimes .
I'll have a maid but a live out maid. And she won't be responsible for my kids either. My husband and I would take care of our kids.
ReplyDeleteThere are still some maids that are blessings to the families they serve. We still have contact with our childhood maid and both families visit each other.
Some of them steal food stuff like there is no tomorrow. They will steal it, hide it outside and take it on their way out. My sister saw shege pro max especially when she comes back from the market, she bulk buys. She didn't mind the rice, beans, garri etc but the ones that annoyed her were the kids snacks, milk, drinks. What broke the camels back was when she went to her room to pick something and came back to see the basin of meat she washed and covered had been depleted. She didn't have cctv so didn't have concrete evidence to accuse the lady but made up her mind that she should continue. It was later that she learnt that the lady was hiding the stolen items outside. I have used a live out nanny but her work was only focused on babysitting until I got home from work. She didn't clean, didn't even wash the baby clothes let alone cook. I paid her more to bring her own meals.
DeleteI wish I can get cctv,I don't have a house help but I want one. I know its my hubby that I will catch going to the help; its because of him I refuse getting a help.
ReplyDeleteI am the pro maid commenter with the audio cctv . With mine I can even talk to them through it but I don’t want them to know it’s audio so that I can hear if the nanny is using negative words on the kids or even the kids speaking rudely to themselves .
DeleteI got mine from Amazon .
Very cheap something .
A MUST have .
Na your comment funny pass 😆
DeleteThese randy men don't know they hurt their wives badly with their community di*ks. Imagine knowing your husband cheats and you are helpless about it.
DeleteAby was 18 yrs old, while what she did was wrong, who in their right mind expects maturity from an 18 yr old. I would never leave three young children, one of whom was an infant with someone so young. I get that folks do what they have to do, but that carer was too young for three small children. Apart from the pulling of genitalia there is nothing truly awful that she did. I presume she took your food because she did not have enough to eat. Why didn’t she have enough to eat?
ReplyDeleteYou are truly sick and a predator for absolving the maid of any blame
DeleteShe took infant milk too because she didn't have enough to eat?
DeleteHmmm human heart is really wicked.
ReplyDeleteOur maids were not evil
The best you can do ia to tell the maid that there is a CCTV at home I don't even have the strength to endure rubbish I will see on it ,better be aware there is one in the house than me snooping to find nonsense cos I will kill you , if don't have tell the maid you do once in a while make a call in her presence to your husband to check activities for you, that way she will behave herself, overall na God, if you can't chest it maybe you have a randy husband don't even think about it, some maids are from pit of hell
ReplyDeleteWhile at it tell your child/ren to report everything to you by making them your friend, if you have a child that doesn't keep a secret your are safe
A randy horseband cannot be asked to check on maid o.
DeleteI'm a man married with 2 kids. All boys. The wife has been on my neck for us to get a maid. I've been hesitant. I've never really told her the reason why.
ReplyDeleteGrowing up, dad and mom were working and hardly at home. They hired a maid. I was what? six, seven then. The maid was well into her 20s. She was my first sexual encounter. It shaped my preference. I always prefer older women. I don't find younger girls attractive enough.
My wife is younger though and I believe I wasn't too negatively impacted by that childhood incident. I'll never allow a maid near my children.
This is really sad. Why are our parents not showing concern ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜ðŸ˜. This things damage the pysche of the kids.
DeleteIf you can't talk to your parents about childhood sex abuse, send them an email with all parties involved. Face your uncle, there are other young ones he would have molested.
ReplyDeleteWhen your parents acknowledge their flaw of turning deaf ears then, forgive, it is tough but doable for your health..
Mine was my neighbor's son, he started touching me when i was 7 years old, started penetrating me at 8. I started enjoying it at some point, I'd always rush to their house after lesson so we can do what we usually do.
ReplyDeleteHis maid introduced him to it because his parents were never home. He molested other kids too. I am a nympho now, i don't get tired of s*x. I am "bi" also.
I've never thought to molest any child but i have like 7 friends with benefits(both genders) I have never dated anyone, i hope when the time is right i meet someone with very high libido like me.
I blame him 💯 for what I've become.
If we do househelp chronicles, where would we start from and where would we end abeg? The stories are too much
ReplyDeleteMy abuser was my cousin who lived with us. I didn't consider what he did as abuse for a long time because it wasn't 'painful' and he was my 'friend', but I knew in my mind that it was wrong because I have never told a soul before this post. I eventually came to realize I was being abused as a kid but i just couldn't bring myself to tell anyone what happened with him. This experience created resentment in my mind for my Mom - how did she not notice I was being abused? Why did she not protect me? Why didn't i go to her for safety or to report?
ReplyDeleteMore than 30 years later and I still have a very vivid image of one encounter with him. I am still shocked at how vivid the memory is; I can recall the furniture in the room and time of day and even the weather.
My abuser died a few years ago and I didn't shed a single tear when I was told he died. I suspect he was also abused as a child because he was never quite right in the head and never got his life together.
The things that happen in families. Some families have a pattern of this repeating over and over again.
DeleteI encourage you to get counselling if you feel you need. Having an objective ear to listen to you can make the world of difference. The blind trust that some parents put into others when it comes to their children is mind boggling. I would not trust anyone but myself if I had children. I do not believe in sleep overs or children playing behind closed doors. I would prefer to be exhausted through vigilance than to get lazy and have to live with anything going wrong. One incident is too much.
Thank God he's dead. That's enough for closure if you ask me
DeleteHmmmmmm my own abuse by a relative nko?
ReplyDelete🤗
Delete