TIPS TO KICK OUT HUSBAND
Hmmmm.
I'm tired of what I've had to endure in the name of marriage. Been married for 21 years. Can't boast of much from hubby but I've Committed so much.
We actually live in a house that I built (uncompleted though) cos I got tired of paying rents for over 13years. We have 2 kids (I insisted that I would not birth more until our situation changes) and I've been paying school fees for 17 years.
My hubby can't seem to hold down a job cos he's always leaving or being sacked after going against management. Can't even say how long I had to feed the family cos it's depressing.
Less than 2 years ago, he started to provide a little in terms of feeding and I'm grateful to God for that.I've been hoping, praying to God that things will surely change so I can also know what it feels like to be a married woman in the real sense of the word.
I have tried to assist and support him in various ideas and business but nothing yet. When Naira was still strong, there was a time I gave him N500, 000 to start a business he was enthusiastic about but he only setup an office and sat back at home. It was painful but then, what could I do.
Need I say that isn't the only time?
Anyway, my major challenge right now arose after I caught my hubby cheating Even though he confessed that he hasn't slept the the woman and stopped the relationship, I have caught him on two more occasions doing same.
Anyway, my major challenge right now arose after I caught my hubby cheating Even though he confessed that he hasn't slept the the woman and stopped the relationship, I have caught him on two more occasions doing same.
Now, I no longer trust him and have lost all s#xual attractions for him. I told him that I need a separation but how do I get him to leave the house for me`?. He doesn't have money to get an apartment and I would not want people to say I treated him bad cos he's poor.
Broke and cheating`? what a shameless behaviour!
Please give him money to go and rent somewhere and throw him out....Let people say whatever they want to say!
Let people talk,kick his ass out.
ReplyDeleteSo he has “change” to even use to cheat.
DeleteNext time don’t bother opening a business for someone who lacks the zeal to work, it’s even better you open a business or 10 businesses for yourself.
Your husband is not motivated to work, there are people like that, if you can’t continue then kindly take a walk, I can’t advise you to stay cus I myself will never stay.
17whole years????
Push up (original)
Push up, it's possible that he has sweet mouth and told her stories and dreams so that she can reason with him like all those Abuja slay Kings into government consulting Athan one is unfortunate to keep meeting. Lol
Delete@ Flawless, dear Kings no dey ever believe say dem fit send hubby back to I'm papa house, na so so send wife to papa house he dey chant.
We may not see him commenting here sef
At anon 16:10, Dear kings avoids chronicles like this. Wonder why he doesn't call his fellow king's out when they're messing up. 🤦🤦🤦
DeleteCan't keep a job, too lazy to run a business, cheats, repeatedly...Madam do as you like - vengeance is yours...
DeleteInteresting chronicle. Here today for the comments.
DeleteHmmmmmm
DeleteBeing broke does not stop men having erection when they see a new woman. Women will not like this but that's the truth.
ReplyDeleteYou are right that women will not like this. In them dey do polygamy abi side chick side concubine, for this economy?
DeleteAbi he no sabi erect for sugar mummy to assist the hardworking wife?
Anon 16:13 😂😂😂
DeleteSDK has pulled the words out of my mouth already
ReplyDeleteLol. It's really funny reading those comments.
DeleteLegally speaking, the house belongs to both of them. One can't "kick" the other out of the house like that. This is real life, not Nollywood.
Under the Marriage Act and recent judgments of the court, any property acquired during the pendency of a marriage, belongs to the couple. It doesn't matter if the property is registered in only one person's name.
Furthermore, any sale of such property without the consent of the other party will be a ground for nullification of the sale.
To make matters interesting, they have now been married for 21 years.
No court will kick him out of the house.
As a man oh, learn digital skills as back up to your job. Hmmn.....this is very deep.
ReplyDeleteYour wife is breaking her back to provide but instead of you to join her to move the family forward but its to follow another woman that is is your priority. Evil wicked man!
ReplyDeleteWhy did you settle for a man that couldn’t pay “rent”
ReplyDeleteWas he jobless when you met and got married to him? I’m not saying it is wrong to support your husband but paying rent continuously for 13 years is WRONG.
He doesn’t bring much to the table, so why did you remain in the marriage?
He is not the first man that can’t hold a job down, there are so many others like him out there but they still struggle to meet up with their responsibilities.
Do whatever pleases you.
Most of these issues, some of you women encourage it.
Sluttychic.
There is something she has been gaining. Women stay so long in marriages they say is not sweet because of something. She has gotten the fill of it. Women ususlly want the man out or move when they have had that fill.
DeleteNot always true. My dad was doing great until his business packed up. Mum said we were little… 5yrs,3yrs and baby. That’s how he kept saying he wouldn’t work for anybody and continued to stay at home, spending his savings for himself until it got exhausted when the eldest was in JSS3. Mum was responsible for school fees until our graduation from universities. She gave him little capital to start business but Dad said he couldn’t sit in a shop as an FCA or drive Uber or keke and would prefer to sit at home until the shop rent expires or sells off the assets and spend it for himself only. Till this day, he didn’t get himself as he refused to work for anyone. Kids are all grown and successful. Mum is at the peak of her career and doing great as well. She stayed despite not getting anything from him. I even caught him cheating one time but mum forgave him. She kept saying that God was blessing her for blessing another human, and she wouldn’t stop taking care of him. He even sold a car she gave him 2 years ago. Now he drives her old jeep and she is thinking of giving him her 2012 Camry as soon as she gets a new car in July.
DeleteUse to tell her that her type was not born in my generation 😂 cos I can’t even bear a little of what she bore.
Lack of growth coupled with selfishness is the limit for her it seems. Stupid man
Delete18:02, you mom is gaining companionship if nothing else. She doesn’t want to be alone. Your mom’s self esteem is literally on the floor and she’s not willing to work on herself. Feel so sorry for her sha and hope you won’t toll this path because you’ve been in the environment throughout your formative years.
DeleteYour husband appears to be a very irresponsible person. Your greatest mistake was staying in the marriage as long as you have. After the first five years you should have walked.
ReplyDeletePlease file for divorce and have the condition that he leaves the family home. He should return to his parents home. There is nothing more annoying that a man who will comfortably sit and watch his family suffer or lacking basic needs. He is a directionless and uninvolved person, he is best returning home and letting his parents cater to his needs, since he has not matured. There did not prepare his for life as a man, let them take him back. Pushing peen is not what makes a man.
The same God that allowed you to start the house will allow you to finish it. Keep all your receipts and paperwork.
You think the man did not contribute to the house?
DeleteFlip the facts stated. Would you say the man is entitled to just push her out of the house even if she was a dependent wife just as the man has been a dependent husband?
What is sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. That is the new standard women are pushing. Isn't it?
Anon 17:32, there are men exactly like the poster’s husband who provide not one thing to a household. All across the world men earn more than women in almost every sector, when a man chooses not to contribute financially to the household he deprives the family significantly because the family now has to depend on the lower income of the woman to maintain them.
DeleteA woman is still working at home, at least 60 hours a week if not more if she is not going into a workplace. If there is a newborn in the household a woman could easily work 100 hours per week performing household duties. Caring for young children, household chores, laundry, cooking is ALL work and labour intensive work, some even have to haul water daily on top their other duties. A woman never gets the opportunity to just be idle at home. A man sitting at home is most times 100% idle. He is not doing household chores, he is not doing school runs, he is not washing clothes or doing grocery shopping. He is not even doing home repairs, painting or anything to enhance the beauty or comfort of the surroundings. So, comparing a man at home to a woman at home is not even worth it, because non- working men at home are essentially figurines, especially if they have not worked steadily for decades.
Being a breadwinner for years is not easy for a woman. It causes depression and hate for the man. Maybe it's time to force responsibilities on him. When gas finishes. Tell him there is no gas and insist he fills the gas without caring how he gets the money. Eat out with your children for days and stand your ground. Maybe responsibility will reset his brain.
ReplyDeleteHmmm
ReplyDeleteNa you go kukuma do wetin you like o
I no get advice for this one o
Poster abeg kick him out.
ReplyDeleteI hope your house doesn't carry his name o?
Would you advise a man to do same to a dependent wife?
Delete17:33, yes that's what when do all the time to women. Stop the pretence
DeleteA dependent woman is not the same as a dependent man. One is housewife( stay at home wife, nurturing and caring for the home) the other is a nuisance/liability who still feels as head of house contributing nothing but overexposed prick and ungrateful behavior
DeleteJust follow Stella's advice abeg. Dunno Wats wrong with some men.
ReplyDeleteomo guys dey f most times. I am a guy. if i see f up. I dey talk am as e be
ReplyDeleteI'm telling you. This is real fuck up. How's he comfortable that someone (wife) is feeding him? My ego can't even deal abegii 😪
DeleteAnd he's still cheating on top of that o
DeleteSome men are irredeemable walahi
Madam. You never ready. If you are tired of the marriage like you say, kicking your husband out is not what you should even be thinking about now. Go and rent a place and move out! Move with every valid document you have showing ownership of that house.
ReplyDeleteYou need a clear environment to think and get your mind in order. You do not need to be in an environment that reminds you of the familiar. If someone says she's divorcing after 21 years in marriage it means that woman has had enough. Ma I support you 100% The fool is even cheating on top of it? Abeg, where i fit hire thunder sharply?
Men have no reason to cheat. Enough of all this rubbish we guys use to justify cheating in Nigeria. It is wrong, sickening and so demeaning. God knows I can never forgive my wife if she cheats. So why will i even think of cheating on her?
Madam, you owe no one an explanation. Do yourself a favor. Leave that space. When hunger fire your husband, no be person go tell am.
God bless you 😌
Delete📌📌📌
DeleteMen don suffer sha..men go through a lot to a point that they mentally give up.naija ladies are not understnding and inpatient..if the table was to be reverse you would see people begging the man to be patient and all.poster he is your husband, act anyhow you want to, but I hope other guys should be learning everyday!
ReplyDeleteI just feel men are easily disrespected for things that requires understnding and communications...so the men that understnds these new women behaviours prepare ahead snd they are called mean and unromantic.
As a man please be ready for any thing and hold your ground so if a day comes and nature's is not smiling at thr moment you can be able to forge ahead and still atleast provide for yourself.
I think these complains are too becoming amongst naija married folks..maybe thr men need to try other breeds of ladies
Lmao! I wish men like you and poster's husband will try other 'breeds' of ladies and leave nigerian women alone for responsible men. See the way he's saying 'breed' as if talking about a dog, shows how low your level of thinking. God abeg!
DeleteDid he remember he was her husband when chasing other women. So, she wasn’t patient and understanding when she was paying school fees and feeding the household, investing in different businesses for him or paying 13years worth of rent? Abeg, getout
DeleteOther breeds of ladies can have their lazy as**s. There's no justification for another person to be carrying responsibilities for a able bodied adult for 17 years!!! It's on this blog we have been motivating our fellow young ladies not to rush into marriage but build themselves financially first and married women to find something doing to assist their husbands, come remain man, for how long kwanu?
DeleteI think we need to do better in raising the male child, we are too focused on women, do this, do that, what hasn't this poster done that women are advised to do in their marriages? No matter how much you fetch water, if you are pouring it into a basket, you are wasting your time. Poster, find your level abeg.
Did we read the same chronicle?
Delete21 years is what you are calling easily disrespected?
DeleteI hope you have 1500 years to live so that you have enough room to play tuobuo with some of your years.
While at it, you and your group of men should up their attitude towards life and women.
So you didn't read where the poster said he cheated? If you wife cheats or almost cheat you won't feel bad right?
DeleteThank you. But some will say you hate women.
DeleteIn most Nigerian marriages,
Property bought decades before you marry a woman is our property.
Property bought for the woman in marriage is her property,
Property bought by the husband in husband and wife joint names is our property
Property the wife buys after being married and while being married sometimes with money ferreted from her husband under different guises and maybe with her savings added after marriage is her property
Any kobo a wife adds to husband's life he pays for in Nairafold or multiple guilt triping or value striping.
What is it to be " a proper married woman". A married woman is a married woman.
It is wrong for any able man or woman to refuse to work. But the summing up a man in marriage on the basis of provision is the bane of most Nigerian marriages. Yesterday, the chronicle was essentially on a family looking for a sponsor-in-law. The family was not keen on helping the young woman find a complementing life partner. When a woman gets a load bearer who thinks only at that level, she still turn and complain. This may explain why most very capable load bearers do not regard their wives and those who appear to do may just be so by nature.
A big pity for a man who has nobody to tell him what being married to a typical Nigerian woman is before marriage. Often times, sons get alienated from their fathers before marriage. And other men do not counsel intending grooms. It is after marriage it dawns that "Oh, maybe this was what mother did to father too". Then ashamed, they cannot go back to their fathers. Worse is if the father is dead.
After reading this blog for sometime and observing events in life, it did not take long to realize that the safe way for any married man to go is to insure self outside marriage while doing the best in marriage. So, there was no need to be told that after the first property solely bought but in joint names, the subsequent ones should be in personal name. As per say: "Dem no dey tell deaf man wey dey see say market get closing time".
When a man is broke all of a sudden it’s “mental health” yet a woman doesn’t think of any mental health
DeleteA woman will do anything to make sure her kids eat, a mother can never just let her kids starve, she will sell akara and carry firewood
But a man would just give up.
No one has monopoly of mental health, we just keep pushing, this one has mental health issue and still finds a way to cheat.
He gets jobs but can’t hold it due to misconduct, in this same Nigeria people don’t even have jobs
Please leave mental health out of it
He is simply a lazy man
Push up (original)
Anon 18:24, according to your logic, if this poster's husband bought property in his name, it makes things easier for her na, let him pack in there and be frolicking with his side hens and side mamas so this woman can flex her life with her hard earned money. Inukwa!!! You better advise your sisters/daughters to stay away from lazy, unmotivated men before they frustrate her life.
Delete21:26
DeleteThank God my sisters did not marry lazy men and they are not lazy themselves.
But a man should not be summed only as a pocket of money in marriage.
The marriage could not have lasted 21 years if the man was not of any value to the Poster. It is the same logic that is used to argue against a man who wants to send a woman away from marriage empty handed.
Clearly, Poster has used her husband for all he is needed hence it is time to dispose of him as she wants to do and you guys are urging her to do. It is the same thing some men do. But then you guys know all the advice to give to help frustrate such men. Fortunately for poster, society does no support men who drags a woman's property with her. So she is likely to have her way.
If a property bought by a husband before and during marriage is matrimonial property why should that bought by the wife during marriage be her sole property.
Under the law, the property in question is matrimonial property. It is society that calls it Poster's property
The end of my message is that a man should look out for himself in marriage as Poster did and should also do his best in the marriage. But you obviously miss that in your haste to gender support and criticize. If Poster's husband looked out for himself in the marriage this chronicle would not have been written. And if written, it would not have been in such condescending tone eliciting all the kick him outs here
This is crazy!
ReplyDeleteNa only you lazy, dey cheat, no like work. Na wa!
Poster, please do whatever you like.
May Jesus fix this.
ReplyDeleteIn as much as I pity this woman but the truth had to be told.
ReplyDeleteThat man is not doing well at all. Why will you cheat when in the right sense, you own nothing..No job and the house you stay in belongs to your woman. I hate nonsense..
Sending him away is the best to do except if love has made you change the land receipt to Mr and Mrs...
I don't support rubbish
Whether you divorce him or not, stop giving him money for business
ReplyDeleteHe doesn’t have drive for it
Just do your business and take care of him and your kids
You were desperate to be called Mrs abi? Because it doesn’t look like your husband’s irresponsible behavior started today and yet you stayed just to be called married !
ReplyDeleteNo advise for you , after all that you’ve been through in 21yrs you’re still thinking what will people say then continue being in it for the rest of your life . Mrs I must be someone’s wife , anyone .
"Be patient, build, help him "
DeleteNot knowing she was bathing stone hoping it will become diamond
Don't blame her, she supported the man who didn't love himself
"Be patient, build, help him "
DeleteNot knowing she was bathing stone hoping it will become diamond
Don't blame her, she supported the man who didn't love himself
You need to learn to talk with respect. This woman should be almost 50 . If you want to advice, do it with respect. 21 years ago (if you were even born then) do you know how most people got married?
DeleteI am certain being desperate to answer Mrs wasn't her reason
If u have made up ur mind to leave, kindly do so, u can rent an apartment for him and kick him out through court case, divorce him in court and have ur peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteBut remember mama pls hold God strong and focus on ur children and God's work
Some women are really going through a lot in the name of marriage, please poster do whatsoever your mind pleases you to do.
ReplyDeleteMadam, since you have been enduring for 21 years, just stay and keep praying for him. Try and also make yourself happy and stop living for him but yourself. Pls don’t pay back evil for evil oo. Channel all your love and attention to your kids until he change. I pray for peace in your marriage.
ReplyDeleteNothing like any evil
DeleteShe can even help him with his rent
“I no do again no mean say I dey fight you”
She has wasted her years, she needs love too na
"Build with a man", na so most of them dey end. The women are left to handle the financial responsibilities and the man cheats on top. If the reverse was the case, the man will throw her out and society will support him. But if the woman throws him out, society will shame her.
ReplyDeleteSingle ladies, don't allow anyone slut shame you for looking out for a man that is financially responsible. It's better you are single and taking care of yourself. Avoid all these stories that touch.
Exactly oh. No shame in looking for a financially responsible man oh. This stress is too much.
DeleteGive him money to pay the first rent, it will be easier that way to get him out of the house with that. Subsequent rents should be paid by him. They no dey tell person to start being responsible
ReplyDeleteShe should sell the house cus when his first rent expires he will come back again
DeleteHe told you he has not slept with her and you believed. You think the day you caught him was the day he started it?
ReplyDeleteMadam, sell the house and use the proceed to buy or build and house if you can.
It is a pity that he has been using all the money you give to him to start up a business to sponsor side chicks.
Sell the house and separate from him, what will people say has led many to death, depression and bitterness outcomes. Ask GOD for help
DeleteAnd make sure you let his family know about this so that when you react tomorrow nobody will blame you
ReplyDeleteStella is very funny. Is this abroad you can wake up one morning and throw a man out of his house? Is it easy? If she does not take time, she will be the one to leave the house for the man.
ReplyDeleteIt’s not his house! Read!
DeleteLol. It's really funny reading those comments.
DeleteLegally speaking, the house belongs to both of them. One can't "kick" the other out of the house like that. This is real life, not Nollywood.
Under the Marriage Act and recent judgments of the court, any property acquired during the pendency of a marriage, belongs to the couple. It doesn't matter if the property is registered in only one person's name.
Furthermore, any sale of such property without the consent of the other party will be a ground for nullification of the sale.
To make matters interesting, they have now been married for 21 years.
No court will kick him out of the house.
Anon 8:48, interesting...so all the women that have been kicked out of houses their husbands built when they were together because they cheated on him, nko?
DeleteYou so badly want to be on this man's side but the odds are against him, if you can't hustle, be loyal and helpful so the person that is carrying you so they will be encouraged to keep doing so. This is simple common sense.
Except you apply some force here (not physical) he is not going to move. Even if you give him money for apartment, he will squander and come back.
ReplyDeleteHe has become too lazy and comfortable...
So it's either you divorce him and by that he has no choice but to leave or you put up with this sadness for the rest of your life; while diverting your time and attention to other things for happiness and fulfilment in life
Dfgvvhhvvbnkjjgfcvhkkihcbn... Chase that man out of that house now and plan it well so it won't backfire on you please, this is Nigeria.
ReplyDeleteWhy is what people will say be your major concern rather than your happiness? A man who is not ready to be a man is still cheating on you with the money you give him, feed him and pay bills with and you are still thinking of what will people say.
ReplyDeleteSame people that will abuse you when you finally die before your time, you better give him money and ask him to get a place for himself. In fact for not give him the cash till he find a place and you see it, pay directly to the agent or landlord and kick him out of your house. You can help him search for a self con , pay for it and ask him to pack out. Let him go and continue with those women he prefers than you.
Your husband will never change as he is a lazy man plus a cheat. You have done so well.