THE THREAT
Hi Stella,
I am dating this guy in UK and he is an over protective guy, he prevents me from talking to my friends or going out with my colleagues and if he notices any suspicious movement he will call the entire world to make his investigations. I have never cheated on him since we started dating.
He is always on video call with me 24/7 to the extent that my boss threatened to sack me. I tried talking to him and he told me that it is because he is not keeping other girls .....
My problem now is I found out that he is keeping other girls and I confronted him and instead of him to apologise or explain, he got angry and, I stopped picking his calls thinking he will come to his senses but he called me to tell me to return everything he gave me if not he will post the nude videos he took when I was bathing when he called me ...
Hi Stella,
I am dating this guy in UK and he is an over protective guy, he prevents me from talking to my friends or going out with my colleagues and if he notices any suspicious movement he will call the entire world to make his investigations. I have never cheated on him since we started dating.
He is always on video call with me 24/7 to the extent that my boss threatened to sack me. I tried talking to him and he told me that it is because he is not keeping other girls .....
My problem now is I found out that he is keeping other girls and I confronted him and instead of him to apologise or explain, he got angry and, I stopped picking his calls thinking he will come to his senses but he called me to tell me to return everything he gave me if not he will post the nude videos he took when I was bathing when he called me ...
He calls ,most times when I am about to bath and he will insist on watching me bath but i did not know he was recording...
it would not be a bad deed for me to give him back the laptop and phone he bought for me but my problem is that i am selling books i write Online and I have three books in that laptop that took me months to write and and they are all at the ending part and I can't let go of them that easily ..
About the phone I was using a much better phone before we started dating but because of his over suspicious natire, the police broke that phone as I was on video call with him and was about to cross police check point, I told him I will call him back but he refused and the solder thought I was videoing him and broke the phone, that's why he bought me the one i am using now, he wants me to give it back and is threatening me with posting my nood videos online.
Please what should I do? I am a single mom and would not want anything that will affect my child, what should I do?.please help me.
Please what should I do? I am a single mom and would not want anything that will affect my child, what should I do?.please help me.
This story is somehow... He gifted you things and he wants them back? There is no guarantee that if you return the things,, he still wont carry out his threat....What i will advice you to do is play careful with him...Reporting to the police is not a solution ....
I dont even know what to advice in this situation...
Sorrows, sorrows, prayers
ReplyDeleteQueen Charlotte. The queen and her kids 😂😂😂.
DeleteDo you know how many tons of nude pictures or videos online? I understand you want to protect your child but... your child will be fine. We need to deweaponize nude pictures or videos in the hands of blackmailers.
DeleteCall his bluff and tell him that's how Kim take blow. If he does, be sure to report him through the relevant authorities in the UK.
Meanwhile, why would you stay dating a pycho whose obsession almost cost you your safety with the soldier and your job? Person wey you for don find way of making him reject you by himself since.
Since he is in the UK, make sure you find out where he works and let him know that you've informed your family and he will be reported to his employers and the MET police for revenge porn if he does posts your nude without your consent. Make sure you record the conversation of him threatening to post your nudes or take screenshots if he sent the threat via text/chat. He has more to lose because it's a crime to post your ex's nudes in UK. Don't return any laptop or phone. He caused your old phone to be broken because of his insecurity and your giving in to his requests. How and why you decided to be in a relationship with a mad man because you heard he is in the UK is beyond me. Nigerian parents really need to teach their girls to have some self respect and know their worth.
DeletePoster threatening peoople with release intimate photos and videos is outdated. Call his bluff.
DeleteTell him to release it that he is helping you blow and earn in dollars sef.
You can call your children and interrogate them to find out if they know about deepfake. If not teach them. So that if they see the videos they will immediate shout deepfake or catfish and won't easily believe.
Same to ur family members (if they know him, if not bone, no one clicks on useless video links nowadays).
Dont worry if he knows your coworkers, Ignore your coworkers they will move on to the next gossip. And I am referring to the few who click links anyhow not the majority (at least in a standard work environment where time is money)
Keep those things he is asking you to return using blackmail.
If I know anything about the mindset of a wicked ex it is this: they would rather walk through coals of hot nails inside fire than to do anything that will translate to earnings for their victims.
That your calm confidence that you will blow without him but by his wicked actions will make him find another method
Poster e get why hilda, nengi even tiwa mega-blow after their nudes trended.
Even empress use am blow.
Calm down and finish your books. Remain focused as you have responsibilities now
All that said: please u didn't let us know what caused you guys to argue to this extent t so I will just say work on yourself to know how to handle conflicts
and confrontations, silent treatment by ignoring calls doesn't seem to be your strength. Work on yourself and be a brand new you for your Next Man
Poster, upload a copy of all your files to Google Drive and then save a copy on a flash drive. You are playing with the devil, your guy reminds me of Empress’s Liberian fiancé. Return everything and block him everywhere, he’s a 👹
DeleteIf he sent you those gadgets from Uk, chances are he hacked them and spies on you. Sell or swap both items and transfer your documents to the replacements. Stop using them. Chances are he hacked them and can remotely shut them down. Please sell or swap.
DeleteHmmmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteOrisirisi nsele oooooo..which kind man be this sef..
Short of words ooo
The kind the Poster deserves?
DeleteBro, read the story again. And go read Amos 3 v. 3
Stop encouraging one gender wrong behaviour.
Anon na Haba, no matter what, no one deserves this kind of man, even God forgives…
DeleteDear poster, record him making those threats, report him to the police
Also let him know you’d be getting in touch with the embassy, make it sound real, if you know the email to his place of work, also threaten to get him fired.
If you know his family members go and report to them, no one can blackmail you into a relationship.
Returning the items is not the issue, he may still release the nudes to show you he is in control, I keep warning people against making videos, not even for your husband.
How do you people date control freaks, from the very first video call you force me to make, is when ild have disappeared.
Push up (original)
How do you give someone else,so much power over your life? When they are not your God or parents? 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteI wonder
DeleteTell him that you will report his threats to the authorities in whatever country he's in. In a lot of developed countries, it's a crime to post someone's nudes.
ReplyDeleteAnd do everything to leave this man and his relationship, he's an evil person
Thank you very much. Poster follow this advice. And please stop this nude sharing thing; it does not make sense
DeleteDon't tell him yet, if reporting to the UK authorities can help just do so immediately and follow up with whoever you have there filing it for you. Make them investigate, jail and the deport deranged imp.
DeleteIf you have evidence of his threats to release your nudes,find someone in the UK to help you file a report.He’s in a country where there are laws unless he wants to ruin his life.revenge porn is a crime in those countries.He’s crazy
ReplyDeleteYou became a slave to him coz he's in the UK, phone and laptop. Video call while bathing... Kai... Some women sha. Your eye did not clear when you almost enter police wahala coz of video call. Dedicated VC with a cheat too 😆😆. Whether you return it or not, this relationship is toxic, he will hold you captive with your "noods". He's gonna deal with you at last, unless you use wisdom, but you don't have it.
ReplyDeleteSo what’s your advice cause that’s what she asked for
DeleteIt’s easy to blame. The real gift is in providing solutions and it seems you don’t have that
Sorrows sorrows.....
DeleteCopy your book into a usb drive or email to yourself
ReplyDeleteSave all the emails or texts where he has threatened to expose your pics. Or record calls where he said that
Then give him all his stuff back and thank God for freeing you from this crazy nut job
Save the evidence cause one day you may want to go to the police
Exactly! She should lodge a complaint today, not tomorrow. One of the reasons why people lose these cases is that they never filed the case when it happened. My dear, I don't know where you are. But wherever it is, report his threats and what not. Call the police in his place and report too because this is international blackmail. Sometimes fire for fire is the best solution. Do not let your fear of your child's future stop you from protecting yourself today. He is counting on that.
DeleteIn Nigeria someone does a video call at military checkpoint 😳😳😳.
ReplyDeleteI salute your boldness sister. Mere earpiece I couldn't use at the military checkpoint. This country's military men abuse power a lot.
Return his things..
ReplyDeleteAll those excuses your are giving are not worth it.
Then report the matter to his family and friends, they'll handle the nude ish.. he isn't in Nigeria, so there's little you can do.
He is a fvck boy.. who babes never send nudes before.. ode..
Una sef, you go just hear abroad begin wet, come dey ask for gifts and money, not minding if the boy has sense or not.. person wey you for don dump since as him dey behave like mental patient, calling you on video even when you're at work.. but as na abroad guy, you can manage nah..
Return his Greek gifts
You met the devil and did not know. Go to the police and inform them of the threats of revenge porn that he is making. He may already even have a criminal record. Yes, do not delay one minute more, you are ion no position to trust him. Get the police involved. You can even add harassment to the list since his incessant calling is threatening your job.
ReplyDeleteBad behaviour is not cute. And any man willing to jeopardize your livelihood does not love, like or respect you.
What's all these now?
ReplyDeleteYou were in a situationship with a demon all along.
ReplyDeleteYou didn't trust your intuition when it nudges you not to do or continue with this maggot. Now your life is under so much control and suffocation by a reptile far away in the UK living its life one its own terms.
Women, be in control of your body, life, mind, time, space and resources.
He may still release them videos as he has shown to be inherently wicked. Apologise, and tell him that you still want the relationship (not true) but don't tell him how much you truly need the laptop and phone. Stop showing all about you, he will use it against you, period. Narcissistic
But ask him for only one thing, to allow you be in charge of your time and when you can take calls conveniently.
Or you know what, point out his bluff by ignoring him. Life will go on. Learn you lesson either by wisdom or the hard way. Sorry dear.
Since he lives in the UK, revenge porn is a crime. Call the police from your Nigeria line and report him. What rubbish. Anyone that is monitored you that closely likely has skeletons in their closet. Don’t give anyone Agency over your life!
ReplyDeleteRevenge porn is a crime in UK. He can go to jail for it and also face deportation.
ReplyDeleteHere is what to do:
1. Get evidence. Go on watsapp and export your chat with him and save in a secure email he isn’t aware of.
2. Download a call recorder app.
When speaking with him ask him why he threatened to post your nudes online. Make sure you use his name: e.g Tunde why are you threatening..,,,,
Record this call and save in an email he doesn’t have access to.
3. Find out his full name and address in UK. (House number, street name, city, phone number)
4. Read up about revenge porn laws in UK. Use google to find out about the police station close to his house. I mean the name and address of the police station. Use google!
5. When you have all of these, send him COPIES of your evidence, and let him know about your intention to report him to the police in his area (give him the address).
Send this through an email and watsapp message to him.
Make it clear that the laptop and phones are GIFTS and you won’t be returning them to him.
Except he has any evidence to share with you that they aren’t GIFTS, then you won’t be returning them.
Lastly, end the relationship via watsapp and email (in the same message about REVENGE PORN)
CAUTION!
Please STOP being desperate for marriage and a man. You should know better about a man keeping you hostage in the name of relationships.
DO NOT EVER ENGAGE WITH HIM AGAIN!
Upvote!! Poster please follow this. RUN AWAY FROM THAT GUY. HE IS BAD NEWS. Stop taking his calls; he is a manipulative fool and you would hate your life if you setlle down with him.
DeleteStupid sadistic predator
Poster come and read this and take action ASAP. He doesn't have a monopoly on madness, he has been threatening you because he sees you as weak and assume you can't do Jack, surprise him and beat him to his game.
DeleteGbam. Is this poster stupid or what?? Return wetin. It’s. Gift and if you have evidence of the what’s app chat about this items, save them. Do NOT return your gift. And once you make necessary arrangement and call his bluff, let this guy go completely. UK is not heaven, if you have enough money, Uk is somewhere you can easily plan and go by yourself. You don’t need a craze man like this one because if you end up with him, you will see shege. No be the same Uk and their tiny roads and ancient buildings. Mtscheww 🙄
DeleteEverything here!!!!! A man sent bullying messages to a girl today on twitter. The girl is in Nigeria. People kept warning him but whom the gods wants to kill they first make mad. Another girl took screenshots of his messages and is filing a complaint with the police. The fool stays in the UK, Luton to be precise. Guess what's? He has deleted all his tweets and has changed his tune. Don't have mercy on that man! He stays in the UK for goodness sake. Send everything to the police. If you don't know how to proceed check twitter
DeleteDo not return those things. He didn’t buy them for himself, he bought them for you so they belong to you.
ReplyDeleteGet evidence of his threatening to release ur nudes and then find a way to report him. I’m sure there are ways to report people in the Uk online.
I’m so happy for u that u didn’t marry this obsessive, insecure fellow tho, you would have heard and seen wheeeeen
It’s not worth it to her to report him cause she doesn’t want it to be public knowledge that he has her nudes...that’s if he does cause he may be lying about they
DeleteAnon it is worth reporting the bastard to the police.
Delete16:05 it’s not
DeleteOur society is still very judgmental to young ladies and guys know it
She’s the one that will be valued a”hewo
Just give the hediot his things and move on
It is this culture of silence that enables lunatics like this to thrive. If they were both in Nigeria, I may agree with you that the police may not followup but since the guy is on the UK, your advice no follow abeg. This is why victims suffer in silence. He will go on to do it to other girls if not stopped.
DeleteNawaoooh
ReplyDeletePoster can't you involve the police on this matter?
Because I don't see any other way around this your story and I know he must carry out his threat for sure, try to discuss with him more about this and try to record him to get the evidence to use against him if he dare carry out the threat. What do I even know self🚶🚶🚶
Report him. Go on Twitter and send this your story to any influencer as anonymous post, you will get solution. Email address to report him to home office will be made available to you.
ReplyDeleteYou should still return the laptop to him.. Kindly SS the threat or record his calls as evidence. I hope you know his address or city over there.
Stay away from this so called man. He is a nut case. He is possessive and has displayed an obsessive behavior. You don't need him. You won't have peace. And this kind of person can kill.
ReplyDeleteWalk away pls.
Lol you heard UK and you lost all your senses especially as a single mother.
ReplyDeleteHow can you be on video call 24/7 with a man? Doesn’t he have any job to do?
So if he hadn’t called to demand for his stuff, you would have continued with the relationship? Na wa oo
He’s a WASTE MAN for sure! And tell him revenge porn is a crime in the UK so if he dares you will have him arrested, don’t be a mouse, fight back!
And please next time use discretion and discernment, relationship isn’t supposed to be hard like this. A man on a call with you 24/7 should have been the first red flag
This is very simple. Get evidence of his threat. Report him to the police and get a police statement. With that, get a lawyer and file official report against him through the UK embassy or any other route prefered by your lawyer. Make sure the report gets to UK government. It is very simple. Let them contact him and inform him that you have officially filed a complaint against him. If he does not take time, he will be deported. If he comes back, he can still face the music here if you have evidence of his threat. Don't return anything to him. You have invested emotionally in the relationship. If it doesn't work, the two parties move on peacefully. Nobody returns anything. He is a threat and will likely mess your life up. Dump him and move on . Most importantly, take official step to deal with him. I am a man and I hate nonsense.
ReplyDeleteGbam. This is it. And next time, he won’t try this nonsense with another woman. Idiot thinks because he’s in Uk and she’s in naija, she can’t do jack. Poster prove him wrong. Start recording his conversations moving forward. Stop doing nonsense mumu and know your self worth! I feel like shaking you so you can wake up!!
DeleteSome women never ever seem to learn.
ReplyDeleteWhy allow a video call with a man when you are totally nude?
I no just understand.
Because you get comfortable and think you’re dealing with a human being and not an animal
DeleteDon’t return anything… that’s ur relationship dividend… he should return the nakedness he has seen & the sex u guys have had… tell him dat…fire for fire…
ReplyDeleteAlso threaten to report him to the UK govt if he does anything funny with ur nudes..
Lastly, Abeg don’t see him as ur god/ savior cos he Dey UK …
Chronicles of all kinds are posted here daily. I am sure you are an active BV. What exactly have you been learning from these chronicles? Bvs do not fail to remind you that sending nude pix/videos is not wise cos most times, it ends in threats/blackmails like in your case.
ReplyDeleteYou gave up your freedom cos of what he gives you. If you had told him NO nudes from the beginning, he for behave.
I know some men can be persistent with stuff like this but saying NO continuously will eventually make him give up. If he decides to not speak with you or gift you anything afterwards, you face front.
For the fact that he was foolish enough to ask you to return the things he got you, make sure you return them.
You can still write and sell your books online without his laptop, that should not be an excuse. You just give man body see finish cos of money.
Sluttychic.
Most women make the nudes sent appear free. When in truth it was sent for feeding and or baby life money. Well, nothing is free. The earlier nudes givers get wiser the better for them
DeleteReturn them to where? Poster do NOT return your gifts!!! You’ve done enough mumu in this relationship. What if you had gotten fired from your work? You didn’t even consider that ehn. Na wa ooo. I repeat, you not return the laptop and phone!!
DeletePoster. It seemed you have cornered the market on mumu. I was afraid that mumu have become an endangered species until you surfaced.
ReplyDeleteI'm not going to sugarcoat nothing. You were extremely dumb. You showed little respect for your own person and in effect, you gave him permission to disrespect you. You sold your dignity for peanuts. When will ladies learn? There is no reason why your nudes should be on the phone in the first place. It is stupidity.
Except na hungry dey worry you, I believe you owe that guy nothing! Show yourself some respect goddamnit! You brought yourself low and he is taking you lower.
Ignore the bastard. He doesn't love you and never has. That's not the kind of person you need in your life right now. If he has nudes let him leak them. The only power he has over you is your fear of leaks. It is not like you are one super star that most people know. So who cares? Except of course he knows people in your circle.
Relax yourself. Let him frustrate himself. And going forward, record every call he makes to you so you have evidence because those kind of men can fight nasty so you have to also engage your bitch side. You have one don't you?
If you go back to that guy again, then I'll truly know you are a great mumu and I'll like to buy shares in the mumu you sell.
I don't think her nudes were in the phone. From what I read, she said he got the nudes from screen recording during the video call when she was bathing.
DeleteReport his threats to the police, return the things he gave you, go outside, take a deep breathe and say thank you Jesus for saving me from madness
ReplyDeleteChai poster this guy is evil sha.
ReplyDeletePlead with him why you cannot return the laptop. Returning these things won't guarantee anything.
Also expect the worse babe.
This mad guy might release your nude and you have to face it.
You will be fine babygirl.
Plead with who? An obsessive compulsive person? She'll only give him more power. She needs to report to the UK police ASAP. I'm sure the threat or reality of getting arrested and/or deported will reset his brain.
DeleteReport him to the nearest police station, you will be surprised at their prompt response.
ReplyDeleteposter you people do not listen or learn, always making the same mistake over and over again. How many times did you have a video call with him while he is taking his bath? if a man doe not show you his nude pictures or video never never never you show him yours. If he cannot call you while he is taking his birth please never you call him while you are taking your bath.
ReplyDeleteWhat kind of job do you do that you will be on video call during working hours? in my place of work when the workload is waiting for you, are you sure that your bf is not a yahoo guy cos how comes he has time on his hand to be on video call with you 24/7 even while you are at work?
I will tell you not to return any phone or laptop, you need to use your woman's power to work on him right now. How can he tell you to return a gift he gave to you cos you both had an issue? Tell him to be calming down, look for a way to talk things over with him but you have to stop the video call while bathing or at work. If he does not want you to work for anyone now that your boss has threatened you just give him a business plan of 7m and see if he can afford it. You should not leave your job cos of a boy till you have the business money, please.
The guy that is not even faithful is what you are taking so much risk for. Forget the nude if he has a mind let him put it on social media, make sure when you both settle you get his nude videos or pictures with sense oh so that in the future when you dump him and he threatens you, you too will do the same thing but no let love carry your brain away to tell him this story now oh.
Do not shout or start talking to everyone about it, just find a way to press his mumu botton while you find a solution. this kind of person na style person they take leave that relationship oh no be to tell am say i no do again. Just dey play along while you dey play your exit root.
@ excited courtesy, I've been in this kind of relationship before and I'll tell you for free that this doesn't work, they are always seeking for a way to lock you down. If she becomes closer to him, he can even ask her to get pregnant in order to pin her down. Poster, report oh, he is in the UK, action will be taken.
DeleteIf you need my details I can help you deal with the imp in uk I live there
ReplyDeleteDon't return shishi, he's a foolish man, find a way to report him to UK authority, let them treat his fuckup.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm why is it that marriage talk opens mumu button of a lot of women?
ReplyDeleteAs a mother and baby mama for that matter you ought to have more sense.
ReplyDeleteWe sing it here daily:DON'T SEND NUDES TO ANYONE. DONT PLACE YOURSELF IN A POSITION EHERE YOUR NUDES CAN BE TAKEN. Not even your husband. Much less one jobless juvenile psycho.
Imagine if you want to enter govt or the academia, this is how satan's sperm will come out to disgrace you.
Of what benefit is it to date such uselessness or is it laptop and phone you can't buy for your self?
Some of you will scrape the bottom of the barrel when it comes to dating men. You know the person you're dating is not even of any value to himself,still yet you persist.
Laddies, I hope we are learning?
ReplyDeletePoster report him, even report him to his family. Call them all together and share this details you wrote here, even include your family. I believe him family will talk to him after listening to you
@ Poster, call him the hell bluff!!!! He has more to lose than you have. Also, let him realize that he is in a saner clime where such threats will not be taken with a pinch of salt. Tell him you will report him to the appropriate authorities in the UK. And do not return any of the things he got you.
ReplyDeleteDon’t forget to change phone number and if possible, change address, your job and your children’s school, because I know you would have given him such information. He is a psycho that can find you and kill you.
DeletePoster this guy stays in the UK!!!! Help yourself! Laws work there. File a complaint!
ReplyDeleteCall his bluff jur. Make he release nude na. Na today? Mtcheeeeewwww
ReplyDeletePoster, do you work at an insurance company?
ReplyDeleteReturn nothing!!!!tell him to post the nude,let him know you have reported to the authorities so they will take it up…do not beg him
ReplyDeleteIf there is evidence of the threat, keep it. Save it.
ReplyDeleteThen research on revenge porn. Get their email address.
Make sure you write to them and let him know through email the steps you have taken. Cut off all conversations with him. He may calm down but in future, he may release it and blame someone else.
If he lives in the UK report him to the police. Now going forward don’t ever continue in a relationship with some one like this. The red flags are glaring. Constant video calls so that you are unable to work, when you are having a bath ( no privacy) , you are crossing the road! Like what is this and why? You are a single mother does not mean you don’t deserve more and should settle. Gosh even me that has been married for over a decade will not have my husband on a video call if I am in the shower. For what now. Women Please say no. No is a word. You have a right and a choice in your own life. He is controlling and abusive and if he lives in the UK, what he is doing is a crime; if he releases your nudes, it is also a crime. If he gave you a gift, it is yours to keep. And in your next relationship don’t ever let someone treat you this way. You have a choice. I don’t know who is giving women ideas of sending nudes to other people. It is not normal and acceptable. Forget all the rubbish you read online . Be bold and report him .
ReplyDeleteIt is illegal to post or threaten to post anyone’s nude in the UK…kindly report him to the necessary authorities.
ReplyDelete