Hmmmm...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE ON ADOPTION NEEDED
Good day all. I am considering adoption.
I have heard and read so many negative stories about adopted children especially the way they treat their adopted parents. I called my aunty who adopted two girls yesterday to ask her opinion and she told me things that got me more worried and confused. Her first daughter connived with the second girl and they are showing her shege. Both dropped out of school at 200 level.
Imagine a lecturer having her children join cult and drop out of school.
Have you or anyone around you adopted a child?. How did it turn out especially those above 17 years. I trust my fellow BVs. God bless you.
Hmmm i think it is better to adopt babies and mould them into how you want them... Some of the ones that grew up in Orphanages come with drama and problems...Adopting is a beautiful thing, I know some couples who adopted and the stories are not negative....
You should try to adopt when the child is an infant that doesn't know his right from the left
ReplyDeleteThorough training is required too
Adopting is a beautiful thing but must be preceded by intense prayer and seeking the face of God. I watched a documentary of a criminal - a white guy. His story grabbed attention after he was sentenced to life imprisonment or died, I don't remember. The guy was adopted at 2 weeks old by a loving couple who already had their own children. They treated this boy exactly as their own kids; same schools, books, food, clothes, toys everything. He was the last born and baby of the family. Still, at the age of 3/4 this boy was displaying behaviours they didn't understand; harming the family's cat, doing very wicked things they didn't understand. The couple kept seeking professional help because they thought they were doing something wrong. This boy graduated to stealing in school from 6 years of age, bullying classmates, drinking at 11, began breaking into homes at about 13, he got progressively worse. He was in and out of juvenile detention and eventually prison until he was killed in a stand-off with the police. They then got his DNA to link him with some other crimes, that was when his DNA was linked with another DNA that had a long rap sheet. It turned out after investigation that this was his FATHER!!! They displayed his rap sheet and his father's side by side and they were almost identical! His father never saw him as he abandoned the mother and moved to another US state while she was still pregnant, yet despite love and care and a different environment, the sociopathy in him was still 100% present. The case was so shocking that they made it into a documentary. I have been thinking of adoption myself but each time I remember this story, I check myself...proceed with prayers.
Delete15:44
DeleteVery interesting read , GOD forbid evil seed and cursed child
15:44
DeleteVery interesting read , GOD forbid evil seed and cursed child
I agree with you. Blood is thicker than water. My parents adopted at birth just to train another person’s child they already had 7 of us but this boy is so different in all ramifications. They are even regretting. So my dear I advise that you make sure God told you clearly
DeleteHere to read comments too because I'll tow that line after two kids, at least give a child a home by God's grace
DeleteThis is why one must get their family history/medical history and read thoroughly before adopting a child/children because the biological component one can’t ignore oo hmmm. I’m also interested in adopting after my kids but stories like this also scare me so one needs to pray for proper guidance as some of these innocent kids need a loving home especially the ones with no issues.
DeleteAdopting children helps you bond with them. 15 years and above already have mind of their own. I wish you success.
ReplyDeleteLike Stella said adopt infant or todler
ReplyDeleteGo with by your heart on this one
ReplyDeleteNo one can predict the future of these things. Pray if you believe in praying and then go with what gives you peace after doing thorough research
I agree with this, we can never be sure of the future, some biological children still mess up, if your mind is made up, pray about it and go ahead. May God bless you with good adoption children that will be a blessing to you cos we need more people like you in this part of the world.
Delete*good adopted children
DeleteBecoming a parent is a vocation that gives you opportunity to give love unconditionally. When you decide to become a parent, what you should be saying is "I have so much love inside of me and I want to give it from scratch to a new being and continue to give it no matter what till the day I die.
ReplyDeleteIf you are sure you are ready to be a mother, other people's bad experience won't hinder you. But if you look at motherhood as an investment towards old age or as a retirement plan....wrong.
Please,if you want to adopt, adopt babies, they will grow to know you as mother, and make sure you also train them very well and instill the fear of God in them.
ReplyDeleteI won't advise you to adopt a grown up. You can only mentor a grown up. Adopt an infant and create time to nurture him/her or them. Train them and prayerfully leave the rest for God. You will not labour in vain.
ReplyDeletePray,pray, and pray before anything then adopt a baby that you will train and bond with not a teenager
ReplyDeleteAdoption is beautiful, this life is also more spiritual than physical, every decision should be settled on the altar of prayer.
ReplyDeleteAs beautiful as adoption is, it's not for everyone, what is God telling you, that should be your deciding factor not other people's experience.
If God gives you a go ahead, fine and trust him yours will down well.
100%!!!
Deletewe know some people/kids na product of their environment, but most times negative behaviour and traits dem dey display na for gene dem inherit am from. Thats why no matter how loving, or positive environment where dem grow, dem go still dey display skoin skoin. u go begin wonder wetin happen. on the other hand, u go see d ones wey grow around thugs, criminals, gang life...surprisingly d lifestyle no go influence them at all, no matter how hard their peers try to influence them. sometimes they will be d one to try all those kain lifestyle out of peer pressure, but e no dey just work out for them, tney will just have to let it go and move onto a positive one effortlessly. so genetics play a major role.
ReplyDeleteYes, adopt them as infants. Speaking of babies I have had three consecutive days dream all about babies. From doing ivf,carrying pregnancy, giving birth etc like what do they mean and I am not looking for fruit of the womb.
ReplyDeletePray and ask God what he wants you to do.
DeleteI don't advice adopting above 11years. There are still good people but if you must adopt a teen, ensure you have spent time studying the person. Personally I feel it's better adopting an infant or those within toddler or early school ages as this allows you to instill your own values . Older children have been through so much and some are so scarred by their past that they become more difficult to manage, so it's not really their fault. I wish you well and not all adopted kids turn out badly just as it's not all biological kids that turn out well
ReplyDeleteFirst time I'm hearing that people adopt grown kids. I think adopting a child before he or she is 3 is the best way to go. You are more positioned to mold them in your character.
ReplyDeletePersonally though, I can never adopt. My hats off to those who do. Then again, I've never really been in that position.
OP do your research well before going ahead with the adoption process.
The thing with this adoption is that most parents tend to spoil their children silly after adoption. I've seen many adopted kids and they are mostly over pampered and spoilt. If you are sure that you'll raise your adopted kids well, then you won't have issues with them.
ReplyDeleteI too plan to adopt kids for charity reasons when I marry.
BTW, if you are adopting grown kids, know that most kids in the orphanage have gone through so much trauma. Prayer, good example and loads of love is needed to repair broken kids (Sometimes, kids can be broken and you won't notice until much later). Please, pay good attention to the kid(s) you're adopting and bond with them, that way you'll be in a good position to help them.
DeleteMy parents adopted a baby at two months old. That decision to adopt still remains the worst decision they ever made which eventually led to the death of my father. My dear the choice is yours but I pray I am never in a position in life that I have to adopt a child
ReplyDeleteso sorry about the lose of your father, please shade more light so we can learn, how does the adoption and his death link?
DeleteIf you really need to adopt, pray and go for infants.
ReplyDeleteMy aunt adopted two kids,a boy and a girl. She adopted them as babies and they are both doing well. Both in Thor teens now. They are part of our family and we do not treat them any different from anyone else. Note that even your own biological kids can give you some trouble but we all don't pray for that. I know genes have a role to play in how we turnout,but so also does the social environment we grow up in. Train up a child in the way he should go and when he grows,he will not depart from it. So you do your best for your kids(adopted or biological) by training them up in the way you want them to go and hopefully,they will not depart from it when they grow up. Pls,go ahead with the adoption prayerfully for it is a noble thing you want to do.
ReplyDeleteJokeSilva, Bola Tinubu, Steve Jobs, Jeff Bezos. All adopted. Negative stories will always sell more than positive. If your heart says to adopt do it. Most psychos in society today were NOT adopted. Did that stop their psychotic behaviour?
ReplyDeleteSecond name up there get as e be 🤣
DeleteI have two cousins that adopted a boy & a girl each they are doing well
ReplyDeleteThe first one that adopted her children should be in the university now & they are well behaved
The 2nd one the children are in secondary school.
Our brother adopted three & one died but he said that they are well behaved too.
Another family member adopted and the child is doing well but can over play though the child is not up to 8 years old
There are as many good adoption stories as there are bad ones. Even with blood children there is no guarantee, we see it around us everyday.
ReplyDeleteAsk yourself what is your motivation for adopting. Then if your motivation is pure go around until you find a child that calls to your heart. You don’t pick the first child you see, or one you feel pity for. Try to feel the essence of the child through your spirit. Observe them on the playground and how they interact with other children. Get a full medical history on the child, so you know if they have any complicated or expensive issues that you cannot afford.
Adopting is a honourable action, but the motivation must be pure. Most ppl think themselves better than they truly are, without flaws or horrible habits. Search yourself honestly and fix yourself and environment before bringing an innocent child to enter it. Don’t be too sure of your ‘goodness’, just because something can be done doesn’t mean you are the person to be doing it.
If you adopt a grown child, you can bond too
ReplyDeleteThe child will also have more appreciation cause the child knows what you saved him from
My church member adopted a boy and girl. That woman has no peace.
ReplyDeleteThe girl acts like a possessed person.
Adopted as an infant.
I'm open to Adoption too, no stories will deter me from that when I'm ready.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that ur aunty had it bad does not mean u too will.
Pray very well and hand it over to God, b4 u adopt any child, pray over the future of that child and ask God to reveal things for u, ask him for guidance, if u see anything negative, reject the child and keep try another child, God will guide u
All these negative stories about adoption, PLEASE STOP IT!!! There are biological children who turned out bad despite good training from their parents. Are there not stories of biological children that have abandoned or even killed their own parents? Has hearing about those stories stopped you all from having your own kids or made you discourage others from having kids?
ReplyDeleteEven Satan used to be one of the sons of God before he and other angels turned against God himself, and God is a perfect father.
The fact is, whether biological or adopted, children can grow up to be good and gracious or bad and ungrateful, despite the good training from their parents. That is what free will is.
Also, all these claim of "we treat them like our own" in many cases are bogus. I've found that in Nigeria, in many cases, it's only the parents that treat the adopted child like their own. How many relatives truly treat adopted children as the biological children? Have you not heard cases in which adopted children are denied inheritance because they are adopted? These relatives never fail to remind that child that he/she is adopted, making the child feel like he/she does not truly belong in that family.
Poster, if you can open your heart to love a child that is not biologically yours, please prayerfully go ahead. Do your best and leave the rest in God's hands.
Don’t mind them
DeleteThe way everyone is talking about adopted babies, does it mean it is now easy to adopt?
ReplyDeleteI want to adopt a child. I live in Abuja. Kindly tell me the process to follow. Thanks.
My Aunty adopted two girls as a spinster and brought them over to the United States. The first one is very rude and stubborn and doesn’t like school. That one is giving my Aunty a hard time. While the other one is reserved and obedient. They were adopted differently at birth. My Aunty goes to church but not fire for fire type.
ReplyDeleteMy dear even some biological kids are so rude and badly behaved.
DeleteMy aunt adopted a boy and that was the worse decision she made
ReplyDeleteMy aunt have no peace, infact story long.
I think adoption is like you getting married not knowing what will become of it, some times even your own children that you birthed turned out to be terrible. You need to go for the little ones so that you can groom them into what you want than going for those we are a little bite grown up .
ReplyDeleteEasy very difficult to correct or bend grown children unlike the little ones. For bit be discouraged with what your Aunty said cos everything comes with luck. In all you are doing please seek the face of God
There are two adoptions in my family. One is almost 30, the other a teenager. They both turned out very okay.
ReplyDeleteGo spiritual.. Consult a strong priest of Alfa before the final decisoin.Ask with ghe child's name.or pic
ReplyDelete