STRANGE SITUATION
Stella please post this has a chronicle.Please pardon my English
My brother got married 6years ago to his wife. The marriage was rushed. My brother wanted a small wedding . The wife said she wanted a big one.
So she carried part of the expenses.
After marriage my brother and his wife distanced themselves from us. We were shocked because the way our parents raised us. We are so close to each other. So we all let go maybe they didn’t want any family interference.
So they have been TTC.
We have been praying for GOD to bless thier union
After two years nothing.
My mum will go to church for prayers and sow seed. Still yet nothing
So my mum called my brother one day
Why not ask your wife to come home for treatment in case if there is any.
My brother said they don’t have that time because of the nature of their job.
When the disturbance was much My brother told my mum that the wife had fibroid which has been operated on.
So for now she needs to stay away from any kind of treatment.
After a long period of time. There was a post on SDK blog concerning things to avoid for fibroid to re-grow back.
I screenshot and sent to her, she did not reply me well.
Before you know again we heard her two tubes were blocked. They have gone to unblock it.
My brother said she went to a church she was told to buy things and share among her siblings so they can pray for her to conceive. Which they did no changes.
So after many years we were surprise they travelled home. To spend the weekend
She bought things for my mum and bought gift for us.
I will not lie, she is a nice lady and like staying in her lane.
My mum took them to her church and the pastor said she knows a lady that give’s traditional medicine. soo they all went there
The lady checked her and say 1 tube is still blocked.She gave them medicine
My mum paid for it. They traveled back to their destination that she would keep in touch.
Which they never did.
One day my brother messaged me That the wife has gone to several churches she was told that her problem is from her husband family. I was shocked. That on the day of their wedding some one did something to her.
A day to their wedding the elder brother that stood as a father for her bride price to be paid told my mum that he prays his sister will be able to stay in her husbands house because she took after their mother. He said that their mum troubled their dad before he died. He said that the reason why he was like this was has a result of their mum. He was once rich.
Only God knows if the man said the truth or not.
So I told my brother village people don’t know you people why will they hurt you people?. You guys just came for wedding and left.
My other siblings are married with kids; although some persons my father invited they might be fetish. But i am not sure they are the cause.
I want to ask blog visitors can one have fibroid without knowing?can fibroid block someone’s womb without knowing?
Because I feel she knew she had fibroid before marriage. My brother said he saw her chat with her sister when her sister was asking her ''are you sure your husband is not the cause? Tell him to go and run test''
My brother said the girls people are mounting pressure on him. I know they know she is the cause but they want to rope my brother in, also so that he will feel he is part of the cause.
I now said for what. Tell your wife to stop moving from church to church you both should join hands together and be prayerful . There is nothing God cannot do.
The last test they did, the doctor said her tubes are not visible that the only way she can conceive is through IVF.
Can all these sickness be spiritual?
Stella please post this has a chronicle.Please pardon my English
My brother got married 6years ago to his wife. The marriage was rushed. My brother wanted a small wedding . The wife said she wanted a big one.
So she carried part of the expenses.
They had made arrangements before we were informed that they wanted to marry.
After marriage my brother and his wife distanced themselves from us. We were shocked because the way our parents raised us. We are so close to each other. So we all let go maybe they didn’t want any family interference.
So they have been TTC.
We have been praying for GOD to bless thier union
After two years nothing.
My mum will go to church for prayers and sow seed. Still yet nothing
So my mum called my brother one day
Why not ask your wife to come home for treatment in case if there is any.
My brother said they don’t have that time because of the nature of their job.
When the disturbance was much My brother told my mum that the wife had fibroid which has been operated on.
So for now she needs to stay away from any kind of treatment.
After a long period of time. There was a post on SDK blog concerning things to avoid for fibroid to re-grow back.
I screenshot and sent to her, she did not reply me well.
Before you know again we heard her two tubes were blocked. They have gone to unblock it.
My brother said she went to a church she was told to buy things and share among her siblings so they can pray for her to conceive. Which they did no changes.
So after many years we were surprise they travelled home. To spend the weekend
She bought things for my mum and bought gift for us.
I will not lie, she is a nice lady and like staying in her lane.
My mum took them to her church and the pastor said she knows a lady that give’s traditional medicine. soo they all went there
The lady checked her and say 1 tube is still blocked.She gave them medicine
My mum paid for it. They traveled back to their destination that she would keep in touch.
Which they never did.
One day my brother messaged me That the wife has gone to several churches she was told that her problem is from her husband family. I was shocked. That on the day of their wedding some one did something to her.
A day to their wedding the elder brother that stood as a father for her bride price to be paid told my mum that he prays his sister will be able to stay in her husbands house because she took after their mother. He said that their mum troubled their dad before he died. He said that the reason why he was like this was has a result of their mum. He was once rich.
Only God knows if the man said the truth or not.
So I told my brother village people don’t know you people why will they hurt you people?. You guys just came for wedding and left.
My other siblings are married with kids; although some persons my father invited they might be fetish. But i am not sure they are the cause.
I want to ask blog visitors can one have fibroid without knowing?can fibroid block someone’s womb without knowing?
Because I feel she knew she had fibroid before marriage. My brother said he saw her chat with her sister when her sister was asking her ''are you sure your husband is not the cause? Tell him to go and run test''
My brother said the girls people are mounting pressure on him. I know they know she is the cause but they want to rope my brother in, also so that he will feel he is part of the cause.
I now said for what. Tell your wife to stop moving from church to church you both should join hands together and be prayerful . There is nothing God cannot do.
The last test they did, the doctor said her tubes are not visible that the only way she can conceive is through IVF.
Can all these sickness be spiritual?
Tubes are not visible? How can someone have fibroids up to the stage of blocking her tibes? Fibroid that comes with pain and plenty bleeding? Your brothers wife may have a health condition that is preventing pregnancy or she may have had a procedure that has tampered with her getting pregnant and she knows and is trying to pin it on someone.
What your brother is going through is not new, some Nigerian women do this and after some years they start blaming the mans family.
Why did they get married? Because they fell in love? then that love will see them though with their Faith in God!..Please do not remove your eyes from your brother oh, something fishy is definitely up!
Tell your brother to also do comprehensive tests if he has not done so. Sometimes, the man may also have fertility issues. With treatment, they will be fine.
ReplyDeleteThey ran all comprehensive test together.
DeleteHe is medically fine
Ok. God will provide money for IVF. I wish the woman will stop going to all these Yahoo pastors and stop wasting money on them too. See how they are about to cause war in both families with their fake prophecies.
DeletePoster,pls leave these couple to sort out their fertility issues themselves. I am sure they are both educated people who know the road to the hospital. These one you are already saying they want to heap the fault on your brothers head. Fertility issues are emotionally,physically and financially draining for the couple involved and family drama is the last thing they need. You can advice if they ask you to but otherwise keep off.
DeleteI have been TTC for some time now and have also had miscarriages along the way too. The best thing my husband has done in all these trying times us to keep his family off my back. I am going through enough already without family wahala to make it worse. I have spent millions trying to have my own child not to talk of the physical and emotional pain I have been through. My mom-in-law prays for me all the times and that's enough for me.
Pls,if you can support them financially to go for the IVF ,do so and keep them in your prayers. No woman going through TTC is happy or relaxed about her situation,even though we may not tell all that we are doing to everybody. I pray God you all wisdom to handle this matter and that your brother and his wife have their babies soon. It's not easy at all.
Dear poster
DeleteHas your brother gone for test? What do you mean by mounting pressure on him. My dear you seem like a youngin… it’s takes two, she may have her issues and he may also have his issues. So they need to be both tested.
Then leave all the jumping jumping you people are doing and go to a proper fertility hospital for consultation. I have never heard the term “invincible tubes” like where did they go?
If also they need to undergo ivf, then save for it, It’s not the end of the world, they just need to come together as one and work together.
And never stop praying
Push up (original)
The poster has answered that her brother had done all tests.
DeleteRead up before asking.
Poster, he's your brother and his mental state affects your family directly or indirectly, so be praying for them and don't leave him.
The best should be for your brother to go with his wife to do male fertility test and confirm that he is not impotent.
ReplyDeleteYou can't lay all blame on your sis inlaw and declare your brother innocent without proof.
Let the couple remain together and decide best way without interference from Families.
Both of them need comprehensive testing
ReplyDeleteYou can have fibroids without knowing
Not all are painful
Plus many people get pregnant with fibroids so what y’all need is to calm down and everyone needs to seek out the best doctor possible, get testing for husband and wife and consider ivf
Good luck
Yes Stella, depending on the location and size of the fibroids, they may block the fallopian tubes.
ReplyDeleteIf the doctor has said IVF is the best choice why not tell them to save up for it and trust God? Attributing regular life occurrences to spiritual causes can sometimes be a form of lazy thinking, with no accurate data or belief system to base the thinking and ends up giving the devil more credit than he is due.
Poster pls pray from a distance and avoid unwarranted insultoooh, before one aunty will heap allegations on u.
ReplyDeleteYour brother is man enough, once he is tired of the hide and seek, the real truth will come out, your brother might have problem too, it's very possible, ur sister inlaw and ur brother are not kids, with time the real truth will come out.
Hmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteThis is serious, I don't even know what to tell you.. Stella don give you her red pen.
One thing I know is, there is nothing God cannot do and also, have realized that moving from one church to another can make one get entangled to some spiritual problems.
Understand the God you serve and serve him truly
Unfortunately, what is going on in your brother's life, is one of the consequences of... "take it to your grave" and "never tell your husband things from your past, so that he will not use it against you".
ReplyDeleteHas the SIL been pregnant before, by a different man? The lack of fallopian tubes could be as a result of an ectopic pregnancy, whereby the fertilised egg started to develop outside the womb. If the tube raptured, they would need to remove it, in order to safe her life. Since she doesn't have both tubes, then she may have been pregnant with fraternal twins, and both eggs got stuck in a fallopian tube, each. Only the SIL can tell you people the truth.
Also, please advise your brother to go and do the sperm count and other necessary tests - to prove himself capable of fathering children. That way, none of his in-laws can heap any accusations on his head!
It means they couldn't see the tubes through which the egg travels.
ReplyDeleteSo she needs to either repeat the test or get a diagnostic laparoscopy done....In which they'll know more details and if minor blocks are there ....They can be opened too.
Fibroids cannot stop pregnancy, a lot of women with fibroids still conceive and bear children, depends on the size and location of the fibroids though. Fibroids have obvious signs - heavy bleeding with or without pains, hard and protruding stomach. During fibroids removal, the fallobian tubes are also checked for blockage, and pregnancy is 100% possible afterwards.
ReplyDeleteFor her own good and the success of the marriage, she should stop going from one church to the other, she's exposing herself to more problems. It's gonna be one false accusation after another, homes will be ruins, relationships destroyed.
Na wa oh
DeleteAll you’ve said is not correct
What type of misinformation is this
Fibroid doesn’t always have signs and they absolutely stop pregnancy
1659, fibroids give signs and don't absolutely stop pregnancy. You are the one misinforming
DeleteMy friend had all her 3 children after being diagnosed of having fibroids.she took it out surgically after having kids.
Delete16:59 - Fibroids give signs please. Painful and heavy menstrual flow, big and hard stomach, are two of the obvious signs, at least in my case. Pregnancy happened too.
DeleteLove, this is from Mayo Clinic and experience
DeleteMost people with fibroids don't have symptoms at all. That's why they're often found unintentionally during a routine checkup. If a patient does have symptoms, heavy, prolonged, or painful menstrual bleeding is a common problem
Mayo Clinic
DeleteFibroids can go undetected in many healthy pregnancies.
"But depending on their size or location, they may affect a person's ability to get pregnant, or stay pregnant or have a healthy pregnancy," says Dr. Louie.
Fibroids are usually classified based on their location in the uterus, for instance.
"A submucosal fibroid is most likely to affect a future pregnancy or affect a person's ability to get pregnant or conceive; whereas, intramural fibroids, especially if they're small, would probably have no effect on a future pregnancy or person's ability to get pregnant," she says.
Your brother should run a comprehensive test on himself too, no assumptions yet. Then instead of going from church to church or native doctor to native doctor, they should look for an alternative solution like IVF
ReplyDeleteI once had fibroids and for a long time I never experienced any sort of bleeding whatsoever until my friend took.me to a traditional doctor, he gave me some herbs and I started bleeding and it wasn't bleeding per say my menstruation became heavy. I didn't experience pains and my tummy wasn't big but after the surgery, my tummy be ame bigger.
ReplyDeleteYour brother and his wife should go run the necessary tests and do the needful treatments or if their case is severe, they should save and opt for IVF . They should stop going to all these fake pastors causing problems here and there and focus only on God and the doctor's advice and prescriptions. Thank you
ReplyDeleteSee pressure, see stress. I cannot even imagine how women in distant history handled not making babies. Honestly, this stigma associated with not birthing needs to end. All this running to and fro, spending up of money, one operation after the other. The level of stress that woman’s body and mind has endured, and we have modern medicine and ivf. These ppl need to take a year off and just rest their heads and bodies. Forget about making a child, just enjoy their marriage and each other. Money they would spend for another procedure, let them go on vacation. Marriage should never become this stressful. She will send herself to an early grave with all this up and down. Spend some money on the best and nutritious foods to build and heal the body, get some good sleep and forget about all this baby making.
ReplyDeleteSend them vacation destinations. Look for social events you can all attend together. Forget about all this church going, seed sowing, prophesying, all these other suggestions. Give these ppl a break. They need rest. Encourage them to take time to enjoy their lives again. I was exhausted reading this isht, I couldn’t even imagine living this madness.
God I need to give you a bottle of champagne 🍾🍾🍾. The stress is too much. Both husband and wife need to just remove their minds from all these. Enjoy themselves over and over again. Mehn, African society ehn 😩.
DeleteIf she's not married wahala,
If she's married and did not give birth, wahala
If he's not married wahala. (His parents harping strings of complaints)
If he has not fathered a child, next is to force a lady on the man.
AFRICAN FAMILIES give your son's and daughters distance so they can enjoy themselves. Stop forcing them against their will.
Seriously @Anon 15:44, I totally concur, this post gave me a headache, phew! Up and down, church here, herbalist there...
DeleteI really do not know why people shy away from adoption.
DeleteBest comment ever
DeleteTell your brother to go do test many men don't know their reckless life during bachelor of spitting sperms anyhow is also a major cause of low sperm count ,if possible let them go together to do test in a government hospital so after that they can now think spiritual but with these blame game I think it is physical problem
ReplyDeleteAs the wife is being put under pressure, has the husband himself been checked? You can't say you don't know where the problem is coming from when the husband himself has not been checked.
ReplyDeleteI hate the way we assume in this part of the world that any time there's a delay in pregnancy, the woman automatically is at fault.
I'm not sure the husband and wify are being straightforward and open about their situation. @Poster has your brother done medical tests? Abi na only the woman dey do test?
ReplyDeletePoster your brother and his wife should do the complete fertility test to be sure both are fertile. They should stop running from one church to another all in the name of prayers, they should join hands as a team and not a fighting mate. You guys should give them breathing space to at least face their marriage and all their challenges.
ReplyDeleteYour brother should not stay in one place or be dull, this kind of situation can lead your brother to test outside and see if he is the major problem. Fibroid can block the tube depending on the location. Fibroid can also prevent a woman from taking in If the woman has an untreated infection that can cause her to have a blocked tube. Since she had a fibroid operation, she should have taken in after the operation.
I will say to anyone with fibroid, after having an operation just go for IVF 3 months, do not waste time trying for a child cos once it has been taken out it will regrow if no baby is growing in there. Is like a tree or grass cut down, after some time it will start growing back especially when you are giving it water, the kind of food it like which is blood. Once you are seeing your monthly flow that fibroid will come back. I know in some cases it will not come back but in some, it will come back with full force.
Lastly, remember is not easy to open up to people about health especially when they are expecting you to fall pregnant. Your mum should take it easy with your brother, he married his wife and should know the best way to handle her. Your brother should speak with his wife and be sure of her health issue which he shouldn't disclose everything to you guys to avoid see finish. Let them save up and go for IVF, you guys should support them through the process and mount pressure.
If your brother is yet to run tests in hospital just because he knows his wife has fibroids then he’s completely wrong.
ReplyDeleteA lot of women still conceive multiple times even with fibroid.
I did.
Also she may not have known she had it before marriage. Only found out I had it when I was sent for scan for my first pregnancy.
Eventually got rid of them through diet changes and prayers.
She needs to stop going from church to church already and focus on her health and pray and discover Jesus for herself
TTC is very heavy burden on marriages
He has done test
DeleteHe is fine medically.
Even when they traveled home
Another test was carried out
Am not trying to blame the wife
That why the chronicle was sent
Ttc is not easy at all.
DeleteBut when one partner is the cause.
The both of them should come together to fight it.
Not trying to push the blame to the other partner.
I pray GOD should come through for them.
Hi Something Light, what about the IVF you talked about too? Have you done it? How was it?
DeleteBaby dust to you and other TTC couples who are bvs.
I was happy to see that Bv Surrogate mum now has a child. Saw her comment on FAQ post yesterday asking a question about her two months old baby.
Surrogate mum congratulations to you. Did you go back to your husband or you remarried? Kiss your baby for me.
All I know is that God is an awesome God and the giver of all including babies. The present should be paid attention to for the future to be better. Everyone should forget about the past and try to resolve problems rather than dwelling on what happened over 5years ago. Let your bro and his wife go for comprehensive testing and then a solution will come up from there. God came through for Sarah and Abraham, so He can come through for anyone in similar situations.
ReplyDeletePoster, I will use myself as an example. I was diagnosed with PCOS after marriage. And started treatment. At the same time my husband also went to see a urologist and found that he needed surgery. (I refused him getting the surgery since we did not have a child yet so the doctor placed him on a treatment as well.) This was how we conceived of our first child. So you see we both had issues. We may not have known if all eyes were in me alone to be the cause.
ReplyDeleteThis story coming from your brothers wife is somehow. And it sounds like she is indeed taking everyone for a ride. My advice is this:
* they should focus on one cause of treatment and stop going from place to place. It does not help
* have faith in God only him gives children
* both of them should get checked by a reputable doctor. All this stories of disappearing tube sounds like child’s play.
* if they both go, such stories would not come up
* the family should stop pressuring them, TTC is not a joke. I don’t wish it on my enemies.
Poster im 100% sure your SIL knew about her fertility issues before she married your brother. But i dont blame her for not telling him, cos he would have ran away like a normal naija guy.
ReplyDeleteBut if the guy was impotent and knew and hid it...you will rain curses on him. Smh
DeletePoster because you sound genuine and your family appears kind, I will give knowledge freely to you what my parents paid for me to acquire in medical school
ReplyDelete1. If tubes are not visible, the inference was made on HSG or salpingoscopy. These tests visualize the uterus and fallopian tubes. More than 95% of tubal blockage on both sides is due to scars . Scarring from? You guessed right; inflammation and healing from an aggressive curettage (abortion) or Pelvic disease caused by an STI. Blockage by a fibroid will mostly be on one side of the tube where the fibroid compresses or occludes the tube. This does not prevent pregnancy. Case in point, people with one tube after an ectopic pregnancy. You see where I am going with this?
2. Your brother should take a seminal fluid test, that may be his receipt that it isn’t him
3. If she insist, women like her deserve receipts upon receipts in which case your brother can bring forward evidence with an actual pregnancy and then a DNA test to prove the paternity and his fatherhood
If people have problems, it’s better to come clean and garner support for the solution rather than turn to gaslighting your victims
Your brother is in an abusive marriage. How do I know? I saw isolation, manipulation and of course gaslighting of the victim from the narrative
I wish him self awareness and safety
Dokita nowagbame 🤣🤣 @ anon 16.16 hope they read this. This type of woman will suddenly become pregnant and travel for nine months to go bring back baby factory pikin. May God bless them
DeleteScarring can also be due to previous fibroid operation
DeleteIf no 1 is truly what happened, Why did she not come clean before marriag? people should stop taking Secret's to the grave. Now it's about to blow up in her face 😭😭.
DeleteSee the seed you have planted now. Continue
DeleteBefore u know, poster will go and tell her people that this woman who may be innocent has had abortions before and then they will flow with that. God help u all
The most common cause is an infection
Delete. Not abortion
Anonymous, the TTC pre-dates the fibroid surgery. I agree endomitritis complicating fibroid surgery or a fibroid in the endometrium can cause significant scarring after surgery but I am harnessing the entire picture of the story.
DeleteIf I ever smell or sense gaslighting, I will be illuminating the topic as much as I can because the aim of gaslighters is to make people doubt themselves plus I am only responsible for what I wrote, I am not responsible for how it is interpreted or used…….. vous comprenez?
Anon 16:16 YOU LIE!!!
DeletePeople have scarring in both tubes from other causes apart from what you mentioned. There is endometriosis which can be totally silent until a laparoscopy is done, some people just scar from unknown causes. If you don’t know something, please keep quiet instead of planting evil seeds.
I, myself, could not take in until 16 months after marriage. I and my husband were totally fine! I had small fibroids but they were non-symptomatic and they were not interfering with my ability to conceive. It was the morning I was going to start IVF medication that we discovered I was pregnant.
Poster, tell your brother to consider IVF and then allow him to face his family issue.
Hmmm
ReplyDeleteThis matter ehh.
Na only God go help them.
Let your brother do all the test to certify him free, then let them go for IVF if that will work and if they can afford it.
He who. Comes to equity comes with clean hands Abi how they take put the English, leave all these hear say and ask your brother to do same tests in three different hospitals, with his result you can make a case for the wife and put blam on her, please separate emotions and do the right thing. At this point you can’t exempt your brother until he provides his own result,
ReplyDeleteWhy didn't your mom call her son for treatment...takes 2 to conceive...your family is nosey, your brother is immature, y is he telling his family wifey business...your brother and his wife needs medical attention together, and pray... then her brother is sick in the head. I married a virgin yet dealt with infertility plus fibroid for 7yrs before I conceived. Na God dey give kids..
ReplyDeleteEven pastor suggested trado medicine. Mo fo o
ReplyDeleteStay there
DeleteHeaven help those who help themselves.
When you take drugs you back it up with prayers .
Because he is a pastor. He should tell them to do fasting and prayers .
This couple are under too much pressure,abeg world people should let them be.anxiety won't even let her conceive in peace.pls they should relax and love up d babies will come wen it's time.let them repair their worn out tissues with plenty love and chilling.
DeleteThe idea of moving from one church to another looking for miracles isn't the best.it exposes them to mishaps.
ReplyDeleteThe presence of God is everywhere.all they need to do,is to seek him and they will surely find him even while praying quietly in their bedroom.
pls poster, pray for your brother and encourage them to get rid of worries from their heart and lay them at the feet of christ.him alone can make the impossible POSSIBLE.
Tell them to stop moving from one church to another and enjoy their sex lives without stress.
ReplyDeleteYour brother's wife know she cannot conceive, she's only playing Russian roulette with him and by extension his family.
ReplyDelete