Hmmmm..
CHILD CUSTODY
Please I need advice,
I’m going through divorce process atm though no court hearing yet as the Judges were on strike but the next court hearing is this month and I have gotten a lawyer as I live outside of Nigeria…
My son stays with my sister in law and my husband is asking the court to let our son remain with his sister...
Imagine taking a child away from his mum and asking the court to let the child be in his sister’s custody back in Nigeria because he doesn’t stay in Nigeria as well….
Please I dunno how to go about it,I want the custody of my child as I can now file in for him to come join me in the Country i live in….
I’m sad and confused at the same time ….Please what and what should I do and what should I expect?
THANKS.
My son stays with my sister in law and my husband is asking the court to let our son remain with his sister...
Imagine taking a child away from his mum and asking the court to let the child be in his sister’s custody back in Nigeria because he doesn’t stay in Nigeria as well….
Please I dunno how to go about it,I want the custody of my child as I can now file in for him to come join me in the Country i live in….
I’m sad and confused at the same time ….Please what and what should I do and what should I expect?
THANKS.
Hmmmmm the Judgement will definitely not favour you and the Judge will return the child to your sister in law... what you should do is get his papers ready, visit Nigeria codely and leave with your son......
You did not tell us how old your child is as that would have helped in advising you..
I really cant mention the story well cos of Data protection but someone did this same thing years back, she stole three of her kids from her estranged husband and returned with them to the diaspora.....
Get a plan B ready..
I wish you all the best as you try to get your child.....
You have engaged the services of a lawyer, he/she should advice you on this. Your fees covers this also.
ReplyDeleteSince you said you can file for your child that means you can enter and leave Naija anytime. At the next hearing make sure you're in court so they can give you the custody of your child. Otherwise e don go be that ooo. *Yàgbà Wife *
DeleteI do no see you winning nada
ReplyDeleteWhy can't you just leave him with your sister-in-law? Is he complaining and gnashing his teeth to you?
Why can’t a mother just leave her child with another
DeleteYou sure you asked this?
The child is hers. With the divorce it will become difficult to have access to him. Except for the divorce and maybe having difficulty initially while going overseas, children should be with their parents. Or either of their parents.
DeleteMy God!
DeleteMilkshake is like u are the wicked sister inlaw holding unto another woman's child
DeleteWhen u have ur own child u will know how it feels, even if u have already kindly dash him or her to ur sister inlaw and taste how it feels
U really deserve a hard knock to reset ur brain
Not*
DeleteWhy do you sound myopic in your response. A mother is craving to have her child stay with her and you make statements that require assessment of your reasoning. If the man doesn’t want his child around himself, that’s his opinion. He shouldnt force it on the mother. I bet he is running away from financial responsibility. Besides, Mr Omniknowest, do you know the condition of the child with the so called sister in law? Do tou know if the child has cried to the mother about certain treatments mettes on him?
DeleteYou seriously need to learn to view and reason in a wider scale before lashing out at people you know nothing about. Stellz, Dan Allah, post this.
Smh
DeleteMilkshake what are you saying? Her child? You asked if he is complaining or gnashing his teeth to the mother? Some people's reasoning though.
DeleteSister in law CAN NEVER take care of that boy than this mother that genuinely want her son with her.
DeleteYou just sounded like my sister in-law
DeletePlease tell me why I should leave my son with her?
My dear, just get a good lawyer and I hope you’ve been a good person to ur child. Why should any court award custody to an aunt when the mother is alive and well with no history of abuse. Fight them in court. Worst case scenario, you get joint custody.
ReplyDeleteWish you all the best.
Sis
DeleteI am a good parent
I don’t just know why everything turned out this way
Hian Madam Stella, your advice today na helele.
ReplyDeletePost, I think you should talk to your lawyer. Ask him or her your chances for getting custody of your child. Then, you should start looking for what to do to boost your chances.
Poster*
DeleteChances of*
First off, you need to demonstrate sending money to the aunt for the upkeep of the child consistently.
DeleteHonestly as a mother, I will go the Stella route as well. But as both of you the parents are abroad, then I believe the court should be able to grant you the custody.
ReplyDeletePlease ensure that you have a good family lawyer. It is your lawyer who should be guiding you in the right way.
ReplyDeleteSo bought of you are living outside of Nigeria? All courts try to get the child reunited with a parent first, unless you have a criminal history or some big dark patch on your records, I don’t see why you will not get custody of your child and a relative would be preferred, even if the child currently lives with them. As long as your child knows you and you have been active in their life you will get custody. As long as the country you live in has an extradition agreement with Nigeria, you could have used a lawyer where you live too.
Like Stella said, if you can show up for the hearing, please do. If financially this is not possible, at least make a Zoom appearance.
I will ask if I can do zoom appearance
DeleteThis thing men do is very bad. How can you take your child from the mother and put that child in the care of your sister or mother? You think your sister is immune from wickedness? Or you think your sister will treat your kid same as her own child? Most of these abused kids are actually blood relatives that was put in their care and taken away from their mother's. I have read too many stories of siblings mistreating their nephews/nieces and using the money for their upkeep, for their own kids or personal needs.
ReplyDeletePoster, do whatever you can to get your kids. By hook or by crook. Even if you have to stage a kidnapping and vanish with your kids forever. Nobody should take care if your kid when you are still very much alive.
"This thing men do is very bad".
DeleteMisogyny and misandry are both sides of human life.
You only read what the man is alleged to be doing.
You did not read in between the post to see what Poster seeks to do.
A child belongs to both parents. That is why even after some women fight tooth and nails to get absolute full custody of the child(ren) of a marriage from an admittedly good father, they ask for full financial care or financial support by the child(ren)'s father. When the man does not meet up he is called dead beat.
Did you notice that Poster did not ask about how to get joint/shared custody of the child? Clearly she is thinking like the father - selfishly as she has accused the father of.
This case is a matter of "this thing divorced or separated spouses do" to their children and to themselves.
Why should she share custody with the sister in law?. The child needs to be with a PARENT unless both parents are dead or incapacitated or unsound!.
DeleteBut if the man wanted his child so much, why did he send her to the sister in Nigeria? If truly he wanted shared custody, why do that? She will not ask about shared custody because it is obvious that the father does not want to do so. Instead he wants to keep the child away from the mother.
DeleteLawyers in the house over to u
ReplyDeleteLet her think lateral. The both of them should find a middle ground with the well rounded development of the child as the focus.
DeleteChildren should not be used to settle scores in a failed marriage or relationship.
Generally speaking, the courts are inclined to grant custody to mothers as there is a presumption that women have a natural instinct to take care of a child.
ReplyDeleteHowever, it's not always black or white. In the course of the proceedings, the court will look into several factors before granting custody to a party.
These factors include, but are not limited to: The age of the child, The level of affection between the child and each parent, The financial capacity of each of the parents, The degree of familiarity between the child and each parent, The moral lifestyle of each parent, The arrangement made by the parties for the education and welfare of the child etc. etc.
I have represented several matters where custody was granted to a father, despite our best efforts, because the mother abandoned the child for a very long time and was basically a stranger to the child. In another instance, it was proven that the mother lived in a brothel, so it would be most unconscionable to grant custody of an infant to her.
In all, it is the overall interest of the child that prevails, viz a viz the other conditions listed above. However, if your son is old enough, he will most likely be asked by the Judge which parent he prefers to live with.
Goodluck to you.
Balanced comment.
DeleteHe’s 5yrs old
DeleteYou left the child for your sister inlaw to take care of while you went to look for greener pastures right?it is understandably okay to do that but that’s also how you gave up your child’s custody.The dad will tell the court you abandoned the child and the judge will probably let the child stay with who has been caring for him or her especially if it’s a family member.
ReplyDeleteThe custody of your son being in favour of you depends on your offence and the kind of mother you are. Why did your husband decide to keep the child away from you? Well, it's not my business knowing your lifestyle
ReplyDeleteThe child was staying with my sister after I travelled and that was the agreement
DeleteHe went to Naija and took the child from my sister and when I asked him,he said the boy is singing National anthem and he doesn’t like that and that the boy followed my sister to church
He’s a Jehovah witness
If you kidnap a child wether it’s yours or not,you will grow grey hair in jail.
ReplyDeleteWho do some men do this in a bid to punish their wives? Why use the kids as weapon in divorce when the parent involved isn't a bad parent. Someone can be a bad spouse but not a bad parent. As long as there's no case of you being a bad parent, a good lawyer should be able to fight this. You both will share custody of him because your son needs his father and mother as long as they're alive
ReplyDeletePoster did not give any evidence of being a good parent. So you just assume she is, right?
DeleteClearly, Poster does not want to share custody. Otherwise she would have asked how to go about that.
Poster and her estranged husband are both about to weaponise the child.
No Sis
DeleteI am not a bad parent
I don’t mind sharing custody but I just want the boy to be with me
I can’t let another woman raise my child while I’m alive
Just that we don’t stay in the same country but we can still share custody that’s not a problem for me
I can’t stop a father from seeing his child
You’re siding with a woman that left her son in the care of her sister inlaw or you don’t think there’s a reason why the boy is with his aunt?you guys amaze me on this blog
DeleteIs your child below 18? Hope, no record of un sound mind or a drunk from your end. Get a very good lawyer, you will win
ReplyDeleteHe’s 5yrs old
DeleteI don’t drink
I don’t smoke
I don’t even keep friends
My husband stopped me from being friends with all my friends
Five years 😭, may God Almighty give you victory so that you'll get your son, I just imagine what the boy may be passing through 😩
DeleteYou’ve a employed the services of a lawyer (I hope a good ) one so please be talking to your lawyer instead!
ReplyDeleteThe court will always look at the best interests of the child before they award custody.
Your lawyer has to prove you’re the best mother for the child and not your husband who isn’t around and has left the child with his sister .
Also please don’t take Stella’s advice, you could be charged for abduction and get a criminal record. Go through the legal process. Your lawyer should be able to do a good work for you
If the child is a minor, you can get custody of your child. The courts are more inclined to give custody to the woman and require the man to provide upkeep. You'd need to show that you have the resources to train the kid. The fact that he wants the child to stay with his sister and not him, will strengthen your case. You can also "promise" the court that you will still help the child develop a good relationship with his dad. I specialise on divorce proceedings. If you need further assistance... don't be a stranger, we've got you.
ReplyDeleteThe challenge is that the both of them are outside the country. So the equities are equal. She can only tip the scale if the father is paperless where he is. If he is a papered resident, then she better look at joint custody. The fact that the child is a boy also weighs in the father's favour. Unfortunately she did not give the age to ease weighing the chances on that ground.
DeleteIn all who is the poster. How did the marriage ended. How did the child truly ended being with the sister-in-law. How has the child fared. Does the Sister-in-law have children of her own who are well taken care of and relate well with the child. These are questions without answers here, and which an unbiased Judge will want answers to before deciding.
Better for poster to drop the child belongs to the mother mindset and her husband to drop his ego and revenge mindset for mutually agreed terms of settlement.
I like how the man is not wanting to take custody but making sure that the child is with who he has always been with.The woman left her son and now wants him back because she has papers to file for him and you guys think she should automatically get him back?are y’all nuts?
DeleteWhat ???????
ReplyDeleteI no fit shout, I am coming down to take my child, no matter what it will cost me.
My Child. That is the only problem in custody cases. The courts have taken judicial notice of it. Lawyers feed fat on it.
DeleteMy Child. But the father is made to pay for full child care or child support.
My Child. A father who does have custody and may never have custody but does not pay for the child's upkeep is named deadbeat and dragged to disgrace in public.
It is not My Child. It is the Father and Mother's child. They should work out beneficial terms for the child's welfare without depriving each other of the child.
Go with Stella advice, take your child with you first before and story
ReplyDeleteThey said I can’t go and take the child since the case is in court already that’s it’s a big offense
DeleteBasically, what Stella is telling u to do is come and kidnap the child. The father can petition the embassy of the country u are in and it might go badly. Get a good lawyer and do the needful
ReplyDeleteHow can a mother leave her child for another woman?i can imagine how you feel.i think your lawyer should be able to advise you better.
ReplyDeletePoster, please your lawyer should be in a better position to advise you on what to do and your chances. Wishing you the best.
ReplyDeleteWhat if your husband is or has also filed papers for the boy too? If you know you will not win this case just start becoming friends, talking terms with your sis inlaw and ex hubby so they can still alow you talk to your son from time to time .try and settle out of court. Back it up with prayers
ReplyDelete11:26🔥
DeleteThe child belongs to both you and your husband! For how long have you been away from him? May God grant the judge wisdom.
ReplyDeleteAlmost two years now
DeleteNne tif your son with 3, do no share this plan with anyone including your family members before someone will lick your secret. Arrange and come down to naija to tif him with you, take him away and forget about hearing.
ReplyDeleteHow will your ex aak you to leave your child with his sister? I know he want to get to you with that decision. Please do everything humanly possible to tif him from his father and his sister.
Thanks Stella for posting
ReplyDeleteI am the poster
My son is 5yrs old
We both agreed that he should stay with my sister but my husband went and took the child away from my sister when he went to Naija
Yes he has travelling documents and he goes home often to see him
They stopped me from talking to my son,the last time I heard from him was June last year,my mum asked that they let the boy come spend some time with her but my SIL said she won’t release the boy
I can appear in court but I dunno when it would be best to go home
I am very confused and SAD
My husband stated it in his petition that our son should remain with his sister
I’m very sure he doesn’t have any relocation plans for the boy because he can’t even take care of the boy himself,he’s a big FLIRT and all he does is jump from one woman to another
Don't ever Thief your son
ReplyDeleteIt may be impossible to thief your son,what about concent letter?your husband may need to sign that,and i do not think he will be able to sign any letter o.As you are prepared to collect your son,hes also prepared to do same.My advice is"try to talk to your husband and have heart to heart talk.Sometimes it doesn't favour women.
ReplyDelete